You’re not Katia Managan. You’re not a budding wizard. You’re not even a real person.

You’re just some dumb stray animal that tries its goddamn hardest to please absolutely anyone and always fucks up anyway.

Right! Right. No need to panic. Sigrid was… she was probably just trying to show off her wizard powers! Or… maybe this was a test! She was fucking with your mind and wanted to see whether you could break free of it. And you did! You’ll show this to her, she’ll be impressed, you’ll get your stuff back, and everything will be fine.

Everything will be okay.

You bang on the door and yell that this isn’t funny anymore! It was a neat trick, but that was everything you owned in the world and you really need it back now! You need everything to be okay!

There’s no reply. You shout until your throat is sore and there’s still no reply.

You don’t have inherent Khajiiti skills! You can barely walk across cobblestone without stepping on a squeaky floorboard! And your lockpick was in your bag along with Quill-Weave’s package, your money, your hatchet, your journal, and everything else you gave to Sigrid.

But… you can fix this. You’re a wizard and you’re resourceful and you’re desperate and angry and upset and you’re sure you can find some way to get in there and get your stuff back.

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

Okay. You realize you fucked up. You got all excited and ignored your better judgement and walked straight into what should have been an obvious trap and signed away all your belongings and some things that maybe didn’t even really belong to you. But you can still fix all this. Somehow.

At the very least, you don’t have to let Quill-Weave down again. There’s still that other letter, the one you threw away. Quill-Weave never has to know you are the worst courier ever and gave away the package you were supposed to deliver. She never has to know there was a package. You can keep it a secret from everyone forever and everything will be fine; you just have to run back to the bookstore and get the old letter out of the trash, hopefully before someone empties the wastebasket or-

You made some really good progress tonight. You got a full meal, a new wizard-friend… but most importantly, you feel like you’ve finally found a place where you belong. A place where people believe in you. It’s the greatest, most heartwarming feeling you’ve ever had.

And it’s all thanks to Sigrid. You can understand why everyone in Kvatch is so fond of her.

Huh? Sigrid might be awesome and know a lot of magic, but you’re pretty sure you would’ve noticed if she used some kind of charm on you. The only spell she cast at you tonight was a quick frost spell on your tail, after it caught on fire.

Other than that… she was just really nice to you. Like, really nice. She said things that made you feel like you’re not just some worthless piece of trash. Things that made you feel important. There was this one compliment – you can’t remember exactly what it was – but you swear it made you feel like the most amazing person in the world.

“You’re pretty” sticks in your mind for some reason, but you suspect it was something more substantial than that. You’ve gotten that much from drunken sailors.

You only gave her what was fair.

You don’t remember the exact words that were exchanged, but you both agreed that the amount was fine. Sure, she took a lot, but you remember she had some really good justification for it. She could probably explain it again if you went back inside.

You… really really really don’t want to let Quill-Weave down again.

But it’s okay, that’s not going to happen. Quill-Weave won’t be disappointed in you. You remember there was some reason she wasn’t going to be disappointed. I mean… you did give away her package, but there was some reason that was okay. Some reason it didn’t matter.

You don’t remember exactly what. It must have been something complicated that Sigrid explained to you.

But… you know you had had some reason.

That bitch took all your stuff!

Don’t be silly! Sigrid wouldn’t ask you to do something that would sabotage your friendship with Quill-Weave. Sigrid is way too nice to do something like that. If anything, Quill-Weave is going to be thrilled to hear all about how you helped the Mages Guild. And how amazing Sigrid is.

Sure, asking for all your belongings might seem a little weird, but Sigrid made a pretty good case for it. You are confident she knows what she is doing.

Oh! Right! You almost forgot you even had the amulet on.

You tell Sigrid to hold on, you have something else that she might be interes-

Sigrid presses the amulet against your chest and tells you it might be best if you hang onto it. You tell her she’s probably right.

You apologize for the fires; you’re not sure what came over you there. It’s like this little voice in the back of your head is totally flipping out for some reason and trying to get you to run out of here. Sigrid says you should probably disregard that voice. Yeah, you say, she’s probably right. Anyway, hopefully this donation is still sufficient, even without the amulet?

Sigrid admits it is a bit less than she was expecting, especially from someone as well-dressed as you. Your robe is lovely, by the way.

Oh! You thank Sigrid, and tell her you just got it yesterday. You like it a lot. Sigrid says she likes it too, and asks you to give it to her.

You happily oblige. She’s a little shocked at how fast you managed to undress, but you explain that it’s kind of a skill you have. Or more of a liability, really. Sigrid says she understands.

You love how Sigrid understands everything you say. It feels great to finally have someone who gets you.

While signing some paperwork confirming that all your belongings were voluntarily donated, you ask Sigrid if there’s any additional jobs the Guild needs help with. Sigrid tells you there’s still plenty of materials the guildhall needs; if you ever run into anything valuable, don’t be afraid to come by here and drop it off! We can’t take on any new members just yet, but if you keep donating we may be able to start soon! You tell her you’ll do everything you can to help.

You thank Sigrid again for the meal and all the help she has given you. You now understand why everyone here likes the Kvatch Mages Guild so much. You feel like you’ve made a very valuable friend. Sigrid says she made a new friend tonight as well, and that friend is you. Your heart practically leaps with joy.

Oh! And there’s that strawberry ice cream!

You ask Sigrid if you can have some. She says no. You tell her that’s alright; if only one of you can have ice cream, you’re glad it’s her.

You have a really good feeling about all these decisions you just made!

So what I’m getting here is that “donations” is a euphemism for a prostitution ring, or possibly for an elaborate operation where you kill criminals and and take their money?

What? No, Sigrid says, she’s just talking about regular, voluntary donations from people who support what she is trying to do. People who come in here, look around, and decide they want to help the Kvatch Mages Guild get back on its feet. You know…

People like you.

Oh!

Well, you tell Sigrid you do like this place, and what she’s done with it is very respectable, but you’re not really in any position to donate money right now. I mean, if she needs help with any errands you’d be happy to oblige, or if she -

Sigrid cuts you off and says if you’re short on coin, there are plenty of other things the Guildhall needs. Maybe you’ve got some unusual alchemical ingredients you never use?

You tell her you already sold all that stuff to Tavia.

An old enchanted item?

Just your amulet, you say, and you need that to keep from starting fires.

A dimebag of moon sugar, perhaps?

You explain that you only tried it once, and it turned out you were allergic.

Maybe an old magic book you’ve already r-

This direction is starting to make you very, very uncomfortable.

You thank Sigrid for the meal and her hospitality but say you should probably be leaving now, before it gets… too much darker outside.

Sigrid notices your discomfort and tells you to hold on. She apologizes, and admits that she was maybe pushing a little too hard with the donations thing.

Yeah, you tell her, she kinda was.

She says she didn’t mean to scare you off, she just wanted to make sure you knew what sort of resources the Guild could use. Most people give something after she’s had a chance to talk to them, but there’s no obligation to do so. Everyone is welcome here, whether they donate or not. If you’re willing to stick around a bit longer, she was just about to serve dessert. We’ve got ice cream!

You ask what flavor.

Strawberry, she says.

You tell her your interest is piqued.

You confess your reaction was probably a bit unwarranted. When she started asking about all the stuff you were carrying, you guess you were kinda worried she was going to mug you or something.

Sigrid says it’s fine, she realizes she probably could’ve approached the topic better. She assures you that, like all Mages Guild branches, this place is run lawfully and by-the-book. She would never, ever take something from a visitor without their permission.

Yeah, you say. Mages are pretty cool about stuff like that, you don’t even know why you were worried.

Anyway, she’s gonna go get that ice cream now. Wait here.

Sigrid says you look very pretty and asks if she can have all your stuff.

You ask her if this is enough stuff, or if she needs you to get more.

You interrupt Sigrid and tell her it’s fine, you don’t actually need all that. You’ll be happy just reading whatever books she has in her library, or using whatever equipment she has on hand. Really, you’re not choosy. You’ve been wanting to study magic since you were a little girl and are perfectly willing to settle for a bit less if it means getting started as soon as possible.

Sigrid explains that it’s not just about what you want, it’s also about the Kvatch guildhall’s reputation. She already deals with a lot of discrimination due to the place’s necromantic history; she doesn’t want to risk becoming known as the guildhall that leaves its new members underprepared. A silver dagger and some basic alchemy equipment might not seem important, but it’s part of the standard supplies most Mages Guild branches give their new members. If she provides any less than that to her first applicant, her superiors are going to notice. And imagine what it would do to your status as a mage if everyone thought you came from some second-rate guildhall that couldn’t even give its members proper apparatuses.

Oh. The thought of potentially damaging your wizard-reputation hits a nerve. You admit you didn’t actually think of it that way.

Sigrid says it’s alright. Most people never think about what it takes to lead a guildhall. She just wants to make sure whatever happens is best for you, her, and the Guild.

You tell Sigrid that you are still holding out hope that you can make this work somehow. You really really do like this place and if you could find some way to join tonight, it would pretty much make it the happiest, most magical day of your life.

You point out that she does have a large pile of money over there. You don’t want to impose, but couldn’t she just, like, go purchase the stuff she needs to accept you? You’ll even go get it for her, if she’s too busy to do it herself. You’re willing to help however you can.

Sigrid appreciates the offer, but says it’s not that simple. Most of that gold already has places it needs to go and things it needs to pay for. Maintaining a guildhall is an expensive affair; providing magic services for the townsfolk takes equipment, alchemical ingredients, magic items… and without the Archmage’s support, she has to pay for it all out of her own pocket.

While she wants nothing more than to make this the best guildhall in all of Cyrodiil and induct all the young and enthusiastic mages such as yourself, she just can’t quite afford it yet on her existing budget. I mean, my alchemy business covers some of the expenses, but currently most of our equipment and funding comes from…

Donations.

… buuuuut overall I’d say it was one of my more enjoyable experiences, if only because I walked away from it relatively fluent in Dragonish. I mean, mostly kind of dirty Dragonish, but I can still do some basic sentences and stuff.

For a moment you are worried you might have gone into too much detail, but Sigrid merely laughs and says it’s a fascinating story. Though, she was trying to ask if you experimented with magic at all before you moved to Cyrodiil.

Oh! Whoops. Ah, not really, you explain. I mean, when I was younger I always wanted to learn spellcasting, but the local mages mistook my birthsign as some kind of incurable disease and I spent most of my life thinking I could never use magic. But even then, I guess I was still kind of interested in it. I would read a lot of books, stuff like the Feyfolken series, and just sort of try to figure out how the magic worked, or imagine what it would be like to actually use it. Fantasize about a world where everyone saw me as some kind of great wizard, rather than as Hammerfell’s easiest talking animal.

Sigrid nods. Most folks out west never even learn about birthsigns, and it’s a terrible shame that you went so long without understanding your abilities. But she has to say, it’s also incredibly admirable how you kept studying magic even when you thought it was impossible for you to ever learn it. You don’t find many mages with that kind of dedication.

You thank her, and tell her that means a lot coming from a fellow magic-user. I mean, you’re not sure if you’d call it “studying”, reading fiction books about wizards, but… well, it kept you happy, you guess. Right now you’re just really excited that your old dreams are finally coming true.

You smile and take another bite of bread. Tonight is turning out pretty great. A part of you is starting to feel like maybe, just maybe, you’ve finally found where you belong.

And that feels better than all the booze in the world.

Yeah, sure, because it’s that hard to believe someone is actually being nice to you.

Anyway…

So Sigrid! I was meaning to ask: how did you know about my birthsign? Did I do something to tip you off, or…?

This guy, she says. Thank this guy right here. He stopped by earlier today and said we’d be getting an out-of-town visitor – an atronach short on magicka – and to prepare something accordingly.

Oh! Thank you, Stephane. And, ah, did you? Prepare something, that is?

Right in front of you, Sigrid replies. That dark blue dipping sauce is a mushroom paste with ground flax; it should charge your magicka up sufficiently. Oh, and if you want to help that eye heal faster, consider trying some of the aloe-spiced venison spread. There’s not much there since I was running out of cured venison, but it should still speed your recovery up a smidgen.

Ah! Thank you, you tell Sigrid. You had no idea any of these sauces were magic.

She says it’s one of the many perks of being a master alchemist. Our meals become very interesting.

And, ah, not to sound greedy, but do you maybe have anything for curing diseases? I had a run-in with a vampire on the way here and, you know, would rather play it safe than the undead-equivalent-of-sorry.

Hmm. Sigrid says she doesn’t have anything prepared, but curing diseases is simple enough…

There. Just lick this thing’s foot.

Like that?

Yup! You no longer have any diseases, Sigrid says. That’s the power of ALCHEMY!

You thank her, and say that’s certainly a… creative way to cure a disease. You guess she doesn’t have a normal curing spell?

Sigrid says she does, but this way is much funnier. Assuming you can get someone to actually go along with it.

Yeah, you think you might be falling in love with this place. It’s lighthearted, it’s educational, and it’s seeming a lot less creepy now that you understand what’s going on here. Sigrid seems really nice, and she’s already seen your two spells – if only in the form of you heating some chocolate sauce and trying to flop a breadstick into it. You think it may be time to pop the question.

The joining question.

Miss Sigrid, you’ve done an amazing job restoring this guildhall and also you are a wizard and therefore awesome. Would you perhaps be willing to maybe accept a new member? Into the Mages Guild?

Sigrid freezes, seemingly taken off-guard by your question. You… want to join the Mages Guild? Here?

Assuming that’s alright? You tell Sigrid that you really like it here and you’re looking for a place to stay the next couple days. And you’re willing to help out however is needed, with whatever is needed. If she’s okay with getting a new member, that is.

Sigrid’s demeanor suddenly seems more concerned than before.

I… I don’t know! This is so… unexpected! The last time we even had another mage visit here was when the Cabal guy came for the mural. And now we may be getting a member? Steph, do we even have the stuff for a new member?

Yes, he replies.

Are you sure? I mean, getting our first member is a big deal, we want to make sure it goes perfect! We’ll need to get you a copy of the charter, a beginner’s alembic, maybe a complementary silver dagger… and that’s not even counting whether or not we have any beginner-level books on disciplines you’re interested in!

You, ah…

You tell Sigrid that you like the colors. It contains all your favorite ones, somewhere.

Ah, thank you! It was no easy task mixing all those pigments – nor finding a painter who could integrate all of them so well! Without a doubt, best hundred thousand septims I’ve ever spent.

Anyway, looks like the breadsticks are finally here! I hope you don’t mind chatting over dinner? We don’t get many other mages in town.

While Sigrid and her friend head to their seats, you take a deep breath and try to let some of your worries melt away. Sure, you guess there’s still a chance she could be an evil necromancer vampire planning to kill you, but it’s starting to look less and less likely. If anything, it kind of sounds like she’s just a misunderstood wizard trying to make as many friends as possible.

And that’s something you can relate to. A lot.

So, ah, hi! I’m Katia Managan, you say.

I know, Sigrid says. You already introduced yourself.

Oh, sorry, you say. I’m not very good at conversations.

Sigrid says it’s fine, sometimes she likes to introduce herself several times in a row as well.

With Sigrid sufficiently overgreeted, you turn your attention to her friend.

Hi! Remember me? We met earlier today. We were in the general store, and I-

He cuts you off and assures you that if you were anyone worth remembering, he would have said something.

Sigrid lets out a long sigh. I see you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Stephane. He works at the chapel so he’s not an active Guild member, but he still drops by to keep me company. Don’t mind his douchiness; being a Breton, he’s probably just huffy at the idea he might be the third best mage in this room.

Oh! Ah, him, third best? You’re flattered at the insinuation, you say, but there’s pretty much no chance you’re a better mage than he is. I mean, you just started practicing recently, and you don’t know many spel-

Sigrid says there’s no need for modesty. You’re an Atronach. Even if you only started with magic recently, she suspects you’ve been taking to it like a fish to water. With some proper reference books and a bit of practice she’s confident your abilities would exceed people like Stephane in no time – if they haven’t already.

Oh! You mutter a nervous “thank you”, quickly reaching for your cup to hide the huge smile spreading across your face. You’re trying to keep a professional demeanor, but… well, that’s more praise than you’re accustomed to receiving. At least for anything you wanted to be praised for.

Also, this is basically just a cup of applesauce.

Tastes okay, though.

With a brightened mood and renewed enthusiasm, you delve straight into some questions.

So, um, since necromancy is apparently banned now, what does the Kvatch guildhall do? I mean, well, what does it specialize in?

Sigrid shrugs. Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that. She admits she’s never really been one for specialization, and thinks it’s important to teach a little of everything. Personally, she’s dabbled in every type of magic; alchemy, alteration, conjuration, illusion, destruction, mysticism, necromancy, restoration…

Not to imply that I’m mediocre at them all, she adds hurriedly. She still considers herself a damn good mage. For example, I could probably kill you right now without even getting up from my seat. I mean, if I had to, y’know, in dire circumstances. Probably.

Yeah, that’s, uh. I can totally respect that. I’m not the best, I know that. Not yet. I have a long way to go, lots to learn, and that’s after I join the Guild and so on.

Sigrid snickers at your reaction. So, do you have any particular magic discipline you’re interested in?

I’m, ah, not really sure yet, you say. You emphasize that you’re really new to this; you haven’t even really learned what’s out there. But you’re looking.

You pick up your cup and take another tongueful of pear-applesauce. You have to admit, this place is kind of growing on you. Sigrid seemed a little suspicious at first, like maybe she was up to something, but you guess you’re starting to see why people admire her. She’s nice to talk to. Like, you get the impression she really does appreciate your presence.

Though her jokes are kind of lame and her bragging is maybe a little irritating.

While you’d certainly like to flip through some books before dinner, it doesn’t look like you’ll have a chance. Sigrid grabs your shoulder and swiftly ushers you into the next room.

Just look at you, she says! Scraggly fur, pale nose… you look positively famished! Let me guess, been out on some magical adventures? Traveling Tamriel, seeking fame and fortune?

Kind of, you say. You’ve actually just sort of been running errands all day, but it’s kept you pretty busy. You admit you kinda haven’t actually eaten or drank anything since this morning.

Sigrid grins warmly. We’ll have to fix that, then! Come, have a seat. Oh, and careful not to slip on the flowers. I keep telling people to leave them off to the side of the walkway, but, well, you know…

People.

Something to drink? Sigrid explains she has a couple of her specialty drinks mixed. She’s got Applepear Surprise – which is made from pears and apples mashed together. She’s got Holiday Punch – made from a mix of ham and lettuce. Aaaaand she’s got a pitcher of melted cheese mixed with more cheese. She hasn’t come up with a name for that one yet.

Ah… all virgin, you ask?

As a Redguard who can’t swing a sword, she replies.

You opt for Applepear Surprise, being the only one that sounds remotely like a beverage. Sigrid commends you on the choice, and says it’s her personal favorite too.

You smile uneasily and thank her for the drink. She tells you to wait here – she’s going to grab the rest of the meal and join you in a moment. It’s been so long since she’s met a real, traveling mage, she looks forward to hearing all about you!

With Sigrid out of the room, you take a moment to assess the situation.

A few of the things you saw downstairs were… unsettling, sure. But you don’t want to jump to any conclusions just yet. I mean, there still might be a perfectly reasonable explanation. After all, this is still the Mages Guild, and Sigrid herself seems nice enough. You suspect there’s probably nothing to worry about.

Fangs? You’re pretty sure those were just the regular, nubby little fangs most humans have. Pretty sure.

You guess they looked a little pointy, but… nothing to be concerned about, probably.

Just to be safe, you glance around the room and note your potential escape routes. It’s a long way to the front door, but you guess you could always go for the window and…

Oh, don’t mind me, Sigrid says. Just handling some security stuff. Wouldn’t want an imp flying through the window and crashing our meal now, would we?

Heh, no, you say. That would be terrible.

In an attempt to curb your implacable feeling of impending doom, you cautiously bring up one of the most pressing questions on your mind. So, ah, Miss Sigrid? I can’t help but maybe notice that there are a lot less people here than I expected. Like, the whole place really seems sort of… empty.

Sigrid confesses the Kvatch guildhall has been a little barren since the Necromancy ban. Most Guild mages still view the place with a bit of a stigma. Archmage Traven won’t even give us funding, she says. As far as he’s concerned, this whole building is permanently evil.

But I’ve been working on turning things around! I’ve been doing some renovations, restocking the library, and trying to restore the Guild’s reputation with the citizens of Kvatch. You know, showing everyone that not all mages are evil, soul-stealing necromancers. It’s hard work, but very rewarding!

It does get a little lonely sometimes, holding the place down on my own. But I do what I can to make it as inviting as possible. To remind everyone that there’s still a Kvatch Mages Guild, and that everyone is welcome here.

Ah! For instance, I see you’ve noticed my ethnic diversity mural!

I had it painted last month. One of my many attempts to brighten this place up a little.

A pretty successful one, I think? I bet you feel more at home here already.

Additional resource credit:
Squiggles – priceless work of art

Additional resource credits:
Silence – music
Dapperpixel – objects
Bropocalypse – backgrounds, objects
Squiggles – objects, backgrounds
acerbicAves – backgrounds
Ryavis – programming
Chevy Ray Johnston – Flashpunk
pgil – a really handy script
RPG Maker 2003 – a single sound effect
David J. Woll – another single sound effect
Concept and visual style inspired by Andrew Hussie