Azmeltosh: @Auserr: sorry i took so long to reply. i couldnt find the right words, then i forgot, then i got embarrassed because what if you dont even care anymore. anyway i think you phrased it well, theres an overconfident and unrealistic facade which is easily broken that she uses to try to cope, then theres the reality of being the drunk from hammerfell that wasted years that could have been spent getting better. shes definitely not completely delusional, she does refer to her past, but she seems to like pretending something special happened that makes her a definitively new person even though she probably knows how ridiculous that is. its a coping mechanism and i think the fact that shes aware of the fact that shes using coping mechanisms (not unlike the dinner party) only makes her feel worse. katia will only start to feel better once she not only accepts herself as the person who fucked up for years but forgives that person because she fixed herself late rather than never. i mean i personally know how hard that is but its the truth
@Radiocaster: my point wasnt just "be nice to herself" i acknowledge that she needs to recognize all the bad shit she did. like even if "i need to make it up to my friend" is more positive than "oh my god they hate me i can never show my face here again" its still negative to be indebted to someone but at least here there is something she can do about it which makes her more responsible for her actions. i also agree that she has a lot of issues with not planning. i think her impulsive actions are the result of her not acknowledging her past failures that were caused by that. i also dont think that laying out her current successes is actually in opposition to acknowledging her past failures. it would not be fair to give yourself so much credit for your successes when you also dont take all the blame for your failures, pushing them onto a "different person" when they become to much to bear, and she probably knows this. Its more about taking it all in good and bad, making her more accountable for her mistakes as she has proven to herself that she can do something about it.
im explaining this very poorly
Azmeltosh: @Auserr: i was thinking about it with a senche-raht but a human sized baby would also do. i think it would be funny to draw an alfiq mother resting with her newborn baby after they get all swaddled up and put to sleep but shes not the one that looks traumatized everyone else is. the midwives have looks of absolute horror and shes just like "and you all said id need morphine. im not some pussy lol. that was easy as hell"
Azmeltosh: @Auserr: im sorry i meant to say i did a bad job interpreting what you said. you were clearly talking about new experiences but the example i gave for something like what you said was with quill but that wass closer to what i originally meant where i was talking about how she needs to start looking at situations shes found herself in the past differently so she can find a better approach
i think you get exactly what im getting at is that the idea she needs to start over and be "a new person" treats her old self as unsalvagable. she needs to learn more self forgiveness which will lead to future improvement. i also think it would benefit her relation with quill to be more forgiving with herself. she was very upset over the submissions suggesting (factually) that quill was drinking booze at the party saying that would make quill a bad friend. if she is able to consider herself to be a good person despite her shortcomings she might start viewing others with less harsh standards. i mean shes done much worse so if she starts to believe shes still redeemable so itd be pretty hypocritical to not aply the same standards to her friends. quills clearly going through some stuff and is just trying to not be a stick in the mud worrying about impossibly unlikely "what ifs"
Azmeltosh: so i know theres different furstocks of khajiit and these are not based on the parents but moons' positions and they can range from basically humans to tiny alfiqs who look visually indistinguishable from cats to giant hulking senche-raht who are twice as tall as an altmer and 50 times as heavy.
anyway was it ever acknowledged which furstocks katias parents were? i think it would be funny to see her reacting to an alfiq. like she thinks theyre making a joke at her expense when they call the cat with a hood on a khajiit but then that cat starts talking.
also less prequel related, does khajiit culture have traditions to aid in childcare of different furstocks. what if an alfiq gave birth to a senche-raht. even ignoring the question of how you get that fucker out like how do you care for a child several times your own size? just carrying them to a crib would be a nightmare. they could also just break all your ribs if they had a temper tantrum. there would also be a similar problem if the roles were reversed
Azmeltosh: @Auserr: eh fuck it im probably not going to draw the comic i have too many ideas on the backlog. i think your idea of medicine being a bandaid fix is a good example of something i would write to not make the character a mouthpiece while still making a story that i think conveys my ideas of what makes someone who they are. multiple doctors have told me that was the plan but after i (unwillingly) took it for a while they started trying to ease me into taking it perpetually and when i said i hated that they insisted i just wanted to be miserable.
thats still not what i meant when i said new perspective but this is my fault as i was being vague in order to keep it a surprise for when i finally made it a comic. i more than understand why you thought that though. i think one of the biggest reasons why she improved is she started to see instances where she wronged someone and them being generously forgiving not as her taking advantage of a stranger but that person being a friend that she needs to make up with, obviously refering to quill
when i meant new perspective i meant how she describes herself. when she first arrives she says she wanted to change her name so people could actually pronounce it and stuff which is cool, then you realize she might be doing it so she wont be recognized which is probably not a good way to handle it, fianlly it becomes clear that she actually is trying to convince herself that the name change makes her a new person. personally the experiences i had make me uncomfortable with thinking of my name as anything more that just something people use to make sure theyre talking about the same person (also preferably something that sounds pleasan). it all seems superficial to me. although i dont think its the best i understand that some people have emotional attachment to their names, however what katia is doing goes far beyond just being a little attached, she seems emotionally reliant on using the name change as a means to dissociate herself from her past self in hammerfell. this both ignores how her past plays a role in her current success, with the shame and unfulfillment in past being the metaphorical (and in cases involving pyromancy literal) fuel that drives her to chase the life she desires, but it also cheapens those successes. remember after she got robbed by sigrid she said she didnt deserve the name katia managan? her idea of katia seems to be someone who doesn't have setbacks and fuck up. if who she is now is viewed as separate from her past self then she cant really give herself the credit she is due for improving. her perceived start point will only ever be someone very close to who she is now, never the absolute self loathing mooch she was back then. this would tie into the troubles shes experiencing now with the healing spell as its pretty hard for someone like that to ever believe they can do something that they just saw themselves not do. for someone who was able to change from someone who cant help but spend all their cash on booze when they cant afford to eat into someone who was able to save the city from an evil brainwashing witch the act of changing from someone who doesnt know the bandaid spell to someone who knows it doesn't seem daunting at all.
i think if she wants to acknowledge how far shes come shes going to need to at least say her old name once and acknowledge that its another way to refer to her, even if she wants to continue referring to herself as katia fucking managan (because it is a pretty cool name i must admit)
i would love to see the story ending with her accepting that she is still the girl from hammerfell but that doesnt mean she never achieved her goal of being someone people can respect, in fact we all love her for it
Azmeltosh: @Auserr: i dont think thats very stupid to say that. ive been offered this stuff a lot, ive also had it literally shoved down my throat as a kid. if i cant succeed or even be "acceptable" unless i am on drugs. i also dont think you understand what i meant by new perspective. i wasnt talking about her current strategy of getting through things. i was saying she might need a new strategy because although better than drinking, i think its quite unhealthy. not only are the characterizations and expectations she gives herself not quote inaccurate theyre downright inhuman to assign to anyone (or in khajiit?)
for example how she hot brainwashed by sigrid and immediately found herself to be worthless and unworthy of being compared to a person despite the fact that she has evidently tricked people more familiar with magic and alchemy over at the anvil guild.
Azmeltosh: i guess should actually give more context. my concept of what makes a person who they are was something i formed in therapy. what caused this is the therapist sharing his ideas on what makes up that and his ideas were so fucking stupid that it helped me realize the opposite is true. usually when i talk about my ideas of what makes people who they are it usually devolves into a rant about how therapy is a scam and how theyre all so far up their ass that they actually will look you in the eye and tell you that you look like you must be feeling great after you tell them youve felt like shit since youve started taking the new meds.
anyway im trying to come up with a script for this that is more distanced from my experience and instead of just making katia my mouthpiece because obviously shes her own character and we wouldnt see eye to eye on everything if she were real
Azmeltosh: @Auserr: i hope so too. i have some other ideas as to whats holding her back. i dont think kaz will write the character this way because im not entirely sure he views this part of her as contributing to the problem but i do think the way she is written if she were a real person she would benefit from taking a new perspective on the matter, as what shes doing now is just unfair to herself. i think whether its written intentionally or not she is a great example of how i think such a thing could be a problem. sorry for being all vague about this i know its quite frustrating. i want to make a fanart exploring an alternative ending for her and i really dont know how to get the message across without just eexplaining the message all heavy handed like
honestly when i think i sound this way when i talk about this stuff
Azmeltosh: @Auserr:
thank you although i dont understand why. so many of the details are sloppy
especially the writing its barely legible. also its the show chainsmoker cat. its a show about a bunch of catgirls with drug addictions or other mental illness like being a streamer. this one, Aru, is such an alcoholic that her hair has become combustible although shes more of a calm drunk so i thought that would contast with katia. like seriously the only one who isnt on something has to be yani's sister imouko with the white hai. its fun but also requires a stomach as its fairly gross. while most of them just have acouple of quirks like saying nya or eating bugs the main character, yani seems to have a very cat-like personality which i love but also would make her unbearable to be around. i think this is a topic i want to explore more as i think the reason katia is so hurt by the cat burns is that due to her past she very much at least partially sees herself as a cat. i think the most obvious thing separating her from a very intelligent bipedal cat is the presence of shame and remorse for her past actions. i think if she ever met yani she'd realize shes not as cat herself as she thought.
Azmeltosh: oh yeah also i was originally thinking of making katia nakey and having tatsune say something about how this must be just like one of her manga plots but drawing mosaic censor bars is a pain and the black box felt lazy
Azmeltosh: isnt it weird how theyre called cats in this show despite being less catlooking than katia who is CLEARLY not a cat.i was just watching this show the other day pretty fun. i think it made me realize more about why i think katia would be a nice character to be friends with. i thought at first the reason i liked the idea was because i wanted someone to help to feel better about myself but i realized that cant be true as i would not stand in the same room as yani if she was real. im still in a rut trying to get out of it. i have a much dumber crossover planned after i get used to krita. i probably should have done it in that
Azmeltosh: i imagine this came on the trade ship she was on and she doesnt even remember posing for it. quill thinks it looks like her but is too afraid to ask because that would be racist, right?
Azmeltosh: @Auserr: thank you i dont do digital at all really. i actually just did it in pencil then imported it to csp to trace it then color it. its nice to hear youre doing a crossover i warn you mine will be way dumber. dont mess with me kid
Azmeltosh: Literally anything and everything can and will happen before she finishes this fetch quest.
I imagine this would resolve after a fight when Zim realizes she hates dib too because the very first thing Dib did when seeing Katia is threatening to dissect her like he did with Zim even before he showed he was malicious. Then Zim will reassure Katia that she's a great minion.
If you want more crack crossovers like this this one just wait because I just finished a show and I've got another one cooking. If you hate crack crossovers then you're shit out of luck.
Azmeltosh: @kfpTigress_Simp: is there a lot of controversy? i havent been paying attention. the only argument i really remember remember was when some users actually reenactmented the boondocks episode where riley gets called homophobic after the update where one commenter submitted for katia to check out quills crotch as she slept
oh that and how whenever i mention the comic in some places i get called words i dont wish to repeat that also have to do with homosexuality but im thinking more so intra fanbase fighting
Azmeltosh: i thought id give an update to my plush project
definitely needs some work but this gives me a better idea of how it all works. theres also a problem of the 2 sides being uneven but thats probably just a fesult of my sewing skills, not the pattern. hopefully i can show you her again in preferably a less beheaded state. when i do id love to share the patern with you all so you can make your own. i guess you could also use it to make a different suthay raht khajiit in the unlikely event that you know another one that looks anywhere similar to katia. for real though i like to imagine the similarity is there but is highly overplayed because its from katias perspective and obviously she cant see the differences
Dramatic Descriptions
@Radiocaster: my point wasnt just "be nice to herself" i acknowledge that she needs to recognize all the bad shit she did. like even if "i need to make it up to my friend" is more positive than "oh my god they hate me i can never show my face here again" its still negative to be indebted to someone but at least here there is something she can do about it which makes her more responsible for her actions. i also agree that she has a lot of issues with not planning. i think her impulsive actions are the result of her not acknowledging her past failures that were caused by that. i also dont think that laying out her current successes is actually in opposition to acknowledging her past failures. it would not be fair to give yourself so much credit for your successes when you also dont take all the blame for your failures, pushing them onto a "different person" when they become to much to bear, and she probably knows this. Its more about taking it all in good and bad, making her more accountable for her mistakes as she has proven to herself that she can do something about it.
im explaining this very poorly
i think you get exactly what im getting at is that the idea she needs to start over and be "a new person" treats her old self as unsalvagable. she needs to learn more self forgiveness which will lead to future improvement. i also think it would benefit her relation with quill to be more forgiving with herself. she was very upset over the submissions suggesting (factually) that quill was drinking booze at the party saying that would make quill a bad friend. if she is able to consider herself to be a good person despite her shortcomings she might start viewing others with less harsh standards. i mean shes done much worse so if she starts to believe shes still redeemable so itd be pretty hypocritical to not aply the same standards to her friends. quills clearly going through some stuff and is just trying to not be a stick in the mud worrying about impossibly unlikely "what ifs"
anyway was it ever acknowledged which furstocks katias parents were? i think it would be funny to see her reacting to an alfiq. like she thinks theyre making a joke at her expense when they call the cat with a hood on a khajiit but then that cat starts talking.
also less prequel related, does khajiit culture have traditions to aid in childcare of different furstocks. what if an alfiq gave birth to a senche-raht. even ignoring the question of how you get that fucker out like how do you care for a child several times your own size? just carrying them to a crib would be a nightmare. they could also just break all your ribs if they had a temper tantrum. there would also be a similar problem if the roles were reversed
thats still not what i meant when i said new perspective but this is my fault as i was being vague in order to keep it a surprise for when i finally made it a comic. i more than understand why you thought that though. i think one of the biggest reasons why she improved is she started to see instances where she wronged someone and them being generously forgiving not as her taking advantage of a stranger but that person being a friend that she needs to make up with, obviously refering to quill
when i meant new perspective i meant how she describes herself. when she first arrives she says she wanted to change her name so people could actually pronounce it and stuff which is cool, then you realize she might be doing it so she wont be recognized which is probably not a good way to handle it, fianlly it becomes clear that she actually is trying to convince herself that the name change makes her a new person. personally the experiences i had make me uncomfortable with thinking of my name as anything more that just something people use to make sure theyre talking about the same person (also preferably something that sounds pleasan). it all seems superficial to me. although i dont think its the best i understand that some people have emotional attachment to their names, however what katia is doing goes far beyond just being a little attached, she seems emotionally reliant on using the name change as a means to dissociate herself from her past self in hammerfell. this both ignores how her past plays a role in her current success, with the shame and unfulfillment in past being the metaphorical (and in cases involving pyromancy literal) fuel that drives her to chase the life she desires, but it also cheapens those successes. remember after she got robbed by sigrid she said she didnt deserve the name katia managan? her idea of katia seems to be someone who doesn't have setbacks and fuck up. if who she is now is viewed as separate from her past self then she cant really give herself the credit she is due for improving. her perceived start point will only ever be someone very close to who she is now, never the absolute self loathing mooch she was back then. this would tie into the troubles shes experiencing now with the healing spell as its pretty hard for someone like that to ever believe they can do something that they just saw themselves not do. for someone who was able to change from someone who cant help but spend all their cash on booze when they cant afford to eat into someone who was able to save the city from an evil brainwashing witch the act of changing from someone who doesnt know the bandaid spell to someone who knows it doesn't seem daunting at all.
i think if she wants to acknowledge how far shes come shes going to need to at least say her old name once and acknowledge that its another way to refer to her, even if she wants to continue referring to herself as katia fucking managan (because it is a pretty cool name i must admit)
i would love to see the story ending with her accepting that she is still the girl from hammerfell but that doesnt mean she never achieved her goal of being someone people can respect, in fact we all love her for it
for example how she hot brainwashed by sigrid and immediately found herself to be worthless and unworthy of being compared to a person despite the fact that she has evidently tricked people more familiar with magic and alchemy over at the anvil guild.
anyway im trying to come up with a script for this that is more distanced from my experience and instead of just making katia my mouthpiece because obviously shes her own character and we wouldnt see eye to eye on everything if she were real
honestly when i think i sound this way when i talk about this stuff
thank you although i dont understand why. so many of the details are sloppy
especially the writing its barely legible. also its the show chainsmoker cat. its a show about a bunch of catgirls with drug addictions or other mental illness like being a streamer. this one, Aru, is such an alcoholic that her hair has become combustible although shes more of a calm drunk so i thought that would contast with katia. like seriously the only one who isnt on something has to be yani's sister imouko with the white hai. its fun but also requires a stomach as its fairly gross. while most of them just have acouple of quirks like saying nya or eating bugs the main character, yani seems to have a very cat-like personality which i love but also would make her unbearable to be around. i think this is a topic i want to explore more as i think the reason katia is so hurt by the cat burns is that due to her past she very much at least partially sees herself as a cat. i think the most obvious thing separating her from a very intelligent bipedal cat is the presence of shame and remorse for her past actions. i think if she ever met yani she'd realize shes not as cat herself as she thought.
https://youtu.be/hJNfu3PAWnw
u good denis
I imagine this would resolve after a fight when Zim realizes she hates dib too because the very first thing Dib did when seeing Katia is threatening to dissect her like he did with Zim even before he showed he was malicious. Then Zim will reassure Katia that she's a great minion.
If you want more crack crossovers like this this one just wait because I just finished a show and I've got another one cooking. If you hate crack crossovers then you're shit out of luck.
have you ever considered making a series of your own
oh that and how whenever i mention the comic in some places i get called words i dont wish to repeat that also have to do with homosexuality but im thinking more so intra fanbase fighting
definitely needs some work but this gives me a better idea of how it all works. theres also a problem of the 2 sides being uneven but thats probably just a fesult of my sewing skills, not the pattern. hopefully i can show you her again in preferably a less beheaded state. when i do id love to share the patern with you all so you can make your own. i guess you could also use it to make a different suthay raht khajiit in the unlikely event that you know another one that looks anywhere similar to katia. for real though i like to imagine the similarity is there but is highly overplayed because its from katias perspective and obviously she cant see the differences
i may have the stupid though
if her history with hammers is anything to go by the cutter will break before anything combusts