May 152014

SatansBestBuddy wrote:
… what are you looking at? Like, which building? And who are you speaking to? Do you think they can help or something?

You, ah…

You guess you were speaking to the back of the inn. It just kinda seemed like the right thing to do.

Maybe you’re starting to figure this witchhunter thing out. Or maybe you’re losing your mind. Either one sort of seems like a step up at this point.

Wham wrote:
Check inventory for telekinesis

Look, you’ve explained this before. Your inventory is a mental abstraction of the items you are carrying, not your abilities! And even if it did show your abilities, it’s just an imaginary list showing what you have. It doesn’t actually store things or allow you to access them. That would be utterly impossible and ridiculous.

You turn your attention back to actual, non-stupid ideas.

Unclevertitle wrote:
If Destruction takes willpower then what does Mysticism take? Intellect?
Enduring pain builds willpower what builds intellect? Reading? Learning? Thinking?
I’d say analysis covers all of that. Gaining information, piecing it together, and reasoning a solution.
Analyze the problem.

You’ve already been analyzing the problem, and so far it hasn’t done anything.

Regardless, you carefully consider what you know. According to the witchhunter ghost, puns and wordplay aren’t the “proper” way to trigger telekinesis, eliminating your one mildly reliable approach to magic. If you’re using telekinesis properly, then the amulet of silence shouldn’t be able to stop you. And apparently, the secret is to “think like a witchhunter”. You’re still kind of figuring out what that means.

Soooo… you guess you’ll try a whole bunch of things.

bird wrote:
You have to lift peg without touching it thats not that hard

OfficerSkeleton wrote:
Just kinda…imagine it floating.

JJR wrote:
peg: continue to be composed mainly of earth and refuse to rise, in the absence of a violent or unnatural force, in accordance with Aristotelian Physics.

Turtles wrote:
Simple. Birds fly, telekinesis makes things fly. Just imagine the force of your mind like a bird flying into stuff! Or picking up stuff and flying over to other stuff!

RacistCatDay wrote:
Stare at the peg. Think like the peg. BE the peg.

SiBby wrote:
Peg: Lift from the table.

Cromwell wrote:
Look, mysticism is old fashioned stuff right? Like super old fashioned. Perform something equally old like a rain dance of some kind to tap into those ancient roots and get the peg to float.

demanji wrote:
focus on a single peg.
clear your mind of everything but the peg.
focus on an upward motion.
if all else fails try to start a fire under it to move it upwards

CommonSense,BadlyTimed wrote:

Greyfox wrote:
How about if you remove the pendant before trying to use the spell?

Yeah, this… this isn’t working. This is stupid.

You tell the insane ghost elf how stupid this is. You can see the amulet flashing and sparkling; it’s blocking all your magic just like it’s supposed to. If you could just, you know, take it off, you could concentrate on the pieces, do the pun thing, and have no problem getting them to move with your mind.

The ghost rolls his eyes, looking a little frustrated by now. That’s not moving, he says, that’s flopping. That’s like downhill skiing on snowshoes, or giving a haircut using a halberd – the sort of shit you’d expect from a nord. Being a witchhunter is about acting with nuance. Throwing nothing but raw energy at a problem gets you nothing but a problem lovingly slathered with cold, sticky energy.

But it worked, you say. With the amulet off, you actually got things to move… a little. If nothing else, it was easier than what you’re trying now.

It wasn’t easier, the ghost explains, you just knew how to do it. Sometimes the easiest method you know is the hardest method there is.

It’s like… to someone who only knows how to dig with a spoon, the notion of digging something as large as a trench will terrify them. All they know are spoons, so as far as they’re concerned, digging is simply difficult. The only way they can imagine it getting any easier is if they change – digging with a spoon until they get stronger, faster, and tougher. And the dangerous people, they’ll actually try this.

Everyone who will ever oppose you in life is a crazy, burly dude with a spoon, and you will never be able to outspoon them. Even the powerful people, they’re just spooning harder and more vigorously than everyone else, like hungry orphan children eating soup. Except the soup is power. I’ll level with you here: I have completely lost track of this analogy.

What I’m saying, giant talking cat, is that everyone is stupid. They attain a narrow grasp of reality and live their life as though there is nothing else. But you, me, creatures with imagination – we aren’t constrained by our experiences. We’re inspired by them. If we have trouble digging with a spoon, we build a shovel. If we’re stopped by a wall, we make a door. And if we can’t make a door, we ask ourselves whether we really need an opening to pass through something solid in the first place.

You point out that you’re not a ghost, and that you do need an opening to pass through solid objects.

No – that’s your mistake, he replies. That’s why you’re still not thinking like a witchhunter. You’re trying to do things right, and that’s wrong. Mysticism means taking a step back – accepting that the very laws of reason and logic you abide by are merely one option of many. It means knowing you only see half the picture in a world where everyone else thinks they see the whole thing. It means having the sheer arrogance to have humility.

That’s why I’m saying you have to think like a witchhunter. You have to be a little wrong to be completely right – to abandon truth in favor of questioning falsehood. If you think something’s the easiest way, you have to know you’re wrong. You have to understand how to stand against the very stance of understanding! You have to know you are inferior; that your knowledge and perceptions will never stand up to the true scope of all possible reality. You have to be a little further from perfect, and embrace that notion.

Can you do that, Jo-Khajiit? Can you make mistakes, fearlessly pursue the worst ideas, and be inferior?

I’m the best fucking fuckup in Cyrodiil.

Additional resource credits:
Cider – all the good animations
Squiggles – all the good linework
Malic – first draft help
Kryptos – almost fixed the website problems

  • CardiacTasty

    And the dangerous people, they’ll actually try this.

    I’m the best fucking spoon-digger in Cyrodiil.

    • JJR

      The dangerous ones aren’t the best at spoon digging, they’re the best at spooning. A subtle, yet important, difference.

      • CardiacTasty

        Spoon-digger, gold-digger, we’re all the same at the end of the day. So I’d suggest that you, get ready for it, spoon off. :/

        Pity, looks like I’m too ridiculously excited to make anything other than punny half-assed jokes.

    • sporkaganza

      Using mainly spoons…

      • JJR

        True spooners would use spainly moons.

      • Alex Franklin

        Use manly spoons!
        Moon spoony men!
        Spam looney uses?

        • actua

          There’s definitely a looney in the mix.

  • CardiacTasty

    Squiggles’ resource tag link is messed up. Small things are the most tedious. :3

    • Kazerad

      Whoops, fixed! Thanks.

      (Though try to keep content in your posts, or use the edit button! I’m gonna delete a few of the shorter ones)

      • CardiacTasty

        I regret nothing! Nothing. :}

        • Psithief

          Downvoting all of your spam…

          or did I?

          • CardiacTasty

            Went a little crazy this update, sorry. :{ You’re still pretty cool to do that. Though I don’t think down voting does much besides bumping it down the list when comments are sorted by ‘Best’; I might wrong.

          • Psithief

            I didn’t get around to it. :P I figured saying I did would be good enough. (witchhunter easymode)

            But that’s exactly what downvoting does, yes.

          • Dorran

            ” exactly what downvoting does”
            By the nine thats it! Quick someone make a post as the Table with the pegs on and then everyone of us upvote that post to the the top of the list!! It will then have risen to above all things!

          • pride-and-parliament

            The Heretofore Undiscovered Law of Katia Managan (it is not the same as Clarke’s law):

            How forum posters are able to transfer their thoughts to the alternate dimension of Skyrim: from Katia’s perspective, it’s clearly magic. Of course, we’re supposing that Katia is real, and thus that Kazerad’s creativity is fueled by the memories of Katia propelled to our dimension through her future self’s amazing powers of mysticism. It seems like a reasonable assumption.


            Now you’re thinking like a witchhunter!

      • JJR

        Yes delete his post thereby lower… I mean I am most
        certainty not engaged in some sort of status game that involves trying to be
        the one with the most posted comments. That’s just silly.

        • CardiacTasty

          Pretty sure we’ve already lost that one, hate to say.

          I could try to be your nemesis though, if you still want to…

        • Bob

          Clearly post/upvote ratio is where it’s at. Think I’m doing pretty solid there so far.

          *Waits patiently with steepled fingers for more upvotes*

          • pride-and-parliament

            By your method, the best option is to try not to get any upvotes or downvotes, so the ratio of posts to upvote is (asymtotically approaching) infinity (on the real-number plane).

            Parenthetical portions for sticklers about mathematical terminology. You know who you are. (Come over to the grammar-Nazi side. We have correctly-placed commas.)

      • JJR

        Speaking of resource tags
        Cider – all the good animations
        Squiggles – all the good linework

        So who did the bad animations, or the bad linework?

        • CardiacTasty

          Looks like Kazerad might be a bit green in the eyes over others getting to do all the fun frames. :}

          Jeealousyyyy… All aloOone in the mooonliiight… On my own, something somethiing somethiiiing…

          Nailed it. But really, come on, it’s Cats. CATS. Irony held a knife to my throat and gave me the choice: do it, or acquire an extra orifice.

  • ThacketyMarch


  • Gribble

    Happy Birthday Kazerad!!

    • Kazerad

      My birthday was five months ago!

      • Duncake

        Happy late birthday Kazerad?

        • unclevertitle


      • JJR

        Well then, a very happy unBirthday to you.

      • SmaggTheSmug

        Birthday wishes at speed of updates!

        • CardiacTasty

          Fair’s fair? An eye for an eye leaves the whole world with their birthdays unacknowledged and updateless.

          I was going to say ‘with their birthdays unconsummated’, but thought better.
          EDIT: Then un-thought better, cause it’s awesomer.

          • JJR

            But then you said it anyway. In fact you said to in order to point out that you weren’t saying it, making it untrue that you didn’t say it.

          • CardiacTasty

            True. Fixed. :}

        • needsomemiracle

          Ooh, buuurn.

        • Don Quixote
      • pride-and-parliament

        But Gribble lives in a different time zone, which causes him to experience relativistic time dilation.

      • Kane

        Happy halves to the next, then.

      • Relth Mcroth


  • it’s out


    • SrLupinotuum

      My mother is sacred!!! *bitch slap*

  • Duncake

    PREQUEL is the best thing I have ever read. When I found out what it is I read every single panel from the beggining in one go and then I spent a whole night just fangasming over it. Thank you. Thank you so much for this. It is worth every day of waiting just to see another update.

    • Woodledude

      That’s the reaction most people have, I think. Great time to discover it, too. XD

  • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

    I may or may not be dancing around my room right now screaming in victory.

    • Bob

      I hope it looked a little bit like this. That’s what mine was like.

      • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

        The trick is in working your face. People don’t take your enthusiasm seriously until they’re screaming from the unholy movements you just made with your face.

        Oh man, I’m still crying a little from that link. :’) Too good.

        • pride-and-parliament

          I solved your anagram, CT. :3 You win all the internets for this.
          “Liar entrapped a mind” doesn’t seem to work as well…

          • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

            Does it not wow and amaze?? Of course, it means I have a serious problem with posting too much. Oh how it’s been fun, making all the heads talk and dance. Just how many have you found? I’m up to quite a few, certainly too many for me to claim optimal mental health.

          • pride-and-parliament

            Oh, wow, I just found Cardiac Tasty and As I Cry, Dat Cat.
            You are fantastic. Here’s my email:
            NOTE: I edited out my real name anagram because it’s better safe than sorry; I’m not going to turn this into an anagram retroactively (word usage?) though.

          • JJR

            Anagram? CT?
            Is this what I think it is?

          • Stray Cat Acid

            “Minds that have wIThEreD into pSyCHoSis are far more tErRIfyiNg than any character of fiction.”

          • pride-and-parliament

            Where’d ya get the damn schizophrenia quote, lost leaf Turnbull? Not Skyrim videogame, Turnbull!

          • damned lie; par, in part

            Well gosh, then… I haven’t played Elder Scrolls, bro! Don’t quiz me on that beautiful, murky argument!

          • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

            “There is a face beneath this mAsK, but it isn’t me. I’m no more that FAcE than I am the muscles beneath it, or the bones beneath that.”

          • Racist Cat Day

            “We children of schizophrenics are the great sEcREt keepers, the ones who don’t want you to think that anything is wROnG.”

          • A Sry Cat Adict

            “Masks bENeAtH masks until suddenly, the bare bloodless sKuLL.”

          • Scat Cat Diary

            “Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! Iä! GoF’nN huPAdGh Shub-Niggurath!”

          • YC aSadCatTri? I<3ta CYrCatSad

            “For a moment at least, be a sMiLE on someone else’s fAcE.”

          • CardiacTasty

            In other wORdS, I’ve nO IDeA what you’re tAlKiNG about.

          • JJR

            So the person I am locked in epic comment combat with is actually half a dozen of the users, and maybe more.
            You realize this makes you the villain, right?

          • CardiacTasty

            Oh most definitely, I took that for granted when we started this. Luckily, I don’t believe in happy endings. {!

          • Da Scary Attic

            Of course, a true puppet master wouldn’t take his bow during the middle of a performance; for this, he needs be chastened. The show must go on, even when a member of the audience stands and points out the wires.

            As a new face appears, let us proceed to Act 2. I wonder; when does the mAStEr become a puPpET?

          • CardiacTasty

            This… may be a problem.

          • YC aSadCatTri? I<3ta CYrCatSad

            And look, you’ve left your toys out again! After ‘one’ finishes with his fun, ‘one’ really ought to clean up after ‘oneself’, lest the shadows creep in and give new life to ‘one’s’ creations.

            I particularly like this one. Such a dark and twisted wit, so much barely contained sadism and bile. He and I will have such fun together, watching the cat cry out in the pain that she so undeniably deserves.

            We’ve studied you, Mr. Cardiac, we’ve studied your propensity for too. much. emphasis, your… beat delivery, your constant linking to cleverly applicable snippets, even the occasional use of an explicative to accent your fucking point.

            So, what do you say, CT? Shall we dance, you and I?

          • CardiacTasty

            Wow, you aren’t kidding. I was worrying how one of my faces spontaneously started talking, I started to wonder if I’d finally flipped my shit; I have been going through a little more of a… mind shattering patch recently. That, or someone slipped into my shoes and started walking around, which I must admit is kind of cool if not a little frightening.

            Um, since you’ve clearly already got the general style down, what say you and I team up? I guess it’s fine, sort of. not really? >:

          • A Sry Cat Adict

            I must admit that I have something a little more… sinister in mind.

          • Scat Cat Diary

            sinister in mind.

          • CardiacTasty


          • pride-and-parliament


          • damned lie; par, in part


  • JJR

    New page, but still no peg movement. Does this mean that none of the commands were correct or are those going to be used in the next update?
    Also, yay, one of my commands was used. It was the one I thought had no chance, but does this mean that physics in Prequel is Aristotelian? As in, the peg is explicitly obeying Aristotelian physics as opposed to Newtonian?

    • Alex Franklin

      Remind me, is that the take on physics that among other things states objects fall because they just want to be closer to the ground?
      If that’s how this world works, do we need to prove to an inanimate object that its reason for staying on the ground is logically flawed? That sort of sounds like something Aggy would support…

      • Khoth

        Actually if we follow this line of thought we must convince the peg that it is fire the element that rests above air naturally in Aristotleian physics. To accomplish this we could set the peice on fire to further convince it.

        • JJR

          But we tried lighting it on fire in this update, and that didn’t work ’cause the puppy amulet blocked that spell to.

      • JJR

        Part of what I am wondering about is that when I was writing the command to tell the peg to not move, I almost went with a version that referenced Newtonian physics instead. So, why was that one chosen? Was it because it referenced Aristotelian physics and Kazerad wants us to know that’s how the prequel universe works? Or maybe it was some other reason and the Newtonian version would have also been accepted.

        • CardiacTasty

          It could be trying to convey that Katia still fundamentally expects the peg to continue obeying some set of physical laws, whether that be Aristotelian or Newtonian. And from a world flavor standpoint, it would make more sense for the people of Cyrodiil to support an Aristotelian paradigm.

          Intentional or not, I like how your command gives Kazerad the resources to hint at Katia’s latent intelligence. It’s kind of neat to see that she unconsciously understands concepts like Aristotelian Physics; I wonder if we’ll see more commands like it as she grows more confident.

  • Viewer

    Why is the horribly insane racist ghost the best mentor we’ve encountered so far?

    • JJR

      What other mentors do we have to compare him to? There was that guy who gave us some training with heavy weapons. I don’t think any of the other characters have done any mentoring.

      • unclevertitle

        Well Asotil… but he was only slightly saner than Aggy.

    • Imp

      Because insane racist ghosts make the best mentors.

    • tronn

      He seems perfectly lucid in this update though. I think his so-called insanity is just a mixture of witchhunter thinking and onset of ghost dementia, basically an act.

      (the racism is real, though)


      He’s the only Mage yet to try and teach Katia proper Magic. I guess it takes an insane one to do something considered insane by the others.

  • Watcher

    So, uh… There’s a spider building a web off of the puzzle board. Is that gonna be a problem?

    • Iridell

      Hopefully not. I have been wrong before though…

    • JJR

      Yes, If you analyze the traffic patterns typical to insects, taking into account regional and seasonal variability, the number of flies we can expect the spider to catch with a web in that location is less than required to maintain metabolic function. Sadly the spider will not survive the winter.

      • Iridell

        Nor will any flies, gnats, or any other flying insect.

      • FoolishOwl

        The most intelligent spiders are concerned with creating a legacy that will outlast their biological lifespan. One approach is through spelling out messages in webs.

    • CardiacTasty

      I believe it’s not so much a problem in and of itself, but an allegorical indication of another problem; that it’s taken us two months, and we still haven’t moved the peg. It’s literally about to start collecting cobwebs.

      Plus, it might be reffing this. It does seem like something Kazerad might do…

      • Iridell

        You’d think that with two months of snow, people would investigate. When was the last time Kavatch snowed before?

        • JJR

          Why investigate? Snow is perfectly normal, as a matter of fact it’s been snowing for the last two months.

          • Iridell

            But there should be piles of snow on the ground by now. Even without Aggy using that spell, would it have been raining this long too? If so, the cities’ sewer system should be replaced with storm drains that lead right down the mountain, or somewhere convenient for the people to use it.

          • Pajaul

            Everyone knows that was cut because they couldn’t get it to compile right.

            “Much snow in Skyrim. Enough snow. M’aiq does not want any more.”

  • Corovaneer

    Is it… self-hate? Self-irony?

    • JJR

      Ive been waiting for someone to name a song I could Katiaficate in the comment section, this is close enough.

      An young elf turned ninety-eight
      He found a unicorn and died the next day
      It’s a stuck peg in your puzzle thing
      It’s realization two minutes too late
      And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

      It’s like rain on your kitty fur
      It’s a free orange when you’re already drained
      It’s the ghost advice that you just couldn’t take
      Who would’ve thought… it figures

      Ms. Play It Safe was afraid to sleep
      She burned her bottle and kissed her mind goodbye
      She had lived her whole damn life having that dream
      And as the King rose up she thought
      “Well isn’t this nice…”
      And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

      It’s like rain on your kitty fur
      It’s a free orange when you’re already drained
      It’s the ghost advice that you just couldn’t take
      Who would’ve thought… it figures

      Well thieves have a funny way of sneaking up on you
      When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
      And ghosts have a funny way of helping you out when
      You think everything’s gone wrong and everything burns down
      In your face

      A brave guardsman when you’re already safe
      A no-magic piece on your magic-less neck
      It’s like ten thousand puns when all you need is a thought
      It’s meeting the man of your dreams
      And running for the sake of your life
      And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think
      A little too ironic…and, yeah, I really do think…

      It’s like rain on your kitty fur
      It’s a free orange when you’re already drained
      It’s the ghost advice that you just couldn’t take
      Who would’ve thought… it figures

      Ghosts have a funny way of sneaking up on you
      Ghosts have a funny, funny way of helping you out
      Helping you out

      • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

        …this is fantastic.

  • Samuel

    Why did she lose her tail in the second image?

    • JJR

      It’s not there because she forgot to visualize it when checking her inventory.

      • CardiacTasty

        I knew it! The entire perception of herself being a cat-person is actually a side effect of extreme low self esteem. As she progressively gains more confidence, she’ll lose more and more of her kitty features.

        Everyone knows Khajiit-ism is just an indication of psychosis. Nords don’t exist either; we’re actually just Argonians with incredibly low morale.

  • ZizZazZuz

    Best fucking fuckup in Cyrodiil. Love it.

    • JJR

      I think she is selling herself short though. She is the best fucking fuckup in Tamriel, at least. She might even be the best fuckup on all of Nirn.

      • VariedCookies

        Gah, you beat me to the punch!

        At least she’s aware that she’s the best at something. Today it’s in all of Cyrodiil, tomorrow it’s all of Nirn. C’mon, baby steps.

        • JJR

          More like, kitten clumps.

          • Duncake

            *random fire starts somewhere*

          • JJR

            ow ow ow, my hair…. I regret nothing… except maybe the fire…

  • Guest

    can’t we just like… hold on I’m going to try something crazy

    >*seeker moves the beg over one space*

  • Nyrohn

    best final line ever

    • Moo?


    • JJR

      I hope not, that means it’s all downhill from here.

  • Derrath

    I laughed soooo hard at the pole dancing!~

    • CardiacTasty

      You work that pole, Katia, just like that, oh I like that. Awww yeaaah.

    • JJR

      Did we get disaster avoided points for that? Is the Orc feeling a strange sense of shame?

      • unclevertitle

        That sense of shame stopped feeling strange a long time ago.

    • Stray Cat Acid

      I guess all the exercise means she won’t freeze to death. Shame that she’s giving away a free show, though.

      • JJR

        Nah, she’s intimidating the competition in the dance contest. Surely only good things can come from the spontainious pole dancing, which is the best idea.

  • CardiacTasty

    And… the snow has been animated. Great.

    • JJR

      How on Earth did I not see that… I guess I was distracted by the great big cat dancing around in the foreground.

      • CardiacTasty

        One must train oneself to never get distracted by the giant cats dancing in one’s life.

        Of course, that’s mostly metaphorical. For the more literal? Medication helps.

        • JJR

          Interesting, I saw the Gorilla but missed two of the passes.

          • CardiacTasty

            Also, I don’t know who knows this, but so long as we’re locked in epic combat, we might as well be fighting on equal ground. Here’s how to embed links in comments, plus all kinds of extra tastiness.

            Sorry if this comes off as elitist or snobby or something, you’re totally awesome. Here’s a picture of a puppy confirming it, if you’d prefer a more credible source.

            Just realized, that site doesn’t really explain how to use any of that stuff.
            Basically, making a link is as easy as slapping stuff around a url. So when you do this:

            <a href=”SOME URL“> The most delicious phở recipe in the existence of ever </a>

            It becomes this:

            The most delicious phở recipe in the existence of ever

            Same goes for emphatic-emphasis (<em>words</em>), let-me-be-very-clear-here text (<strong>words</strong>), tongue-in-cheek (<s>words</s>), really anything else you see on that page.

            Wham-bam, you now know the basics of HTML. :D Good luck.

          • Bob

            Stop.. making me hungry. I JUST ATE.

          • JJR

            You didn’t sound snobby at all.
            And thanks for the detailed explanation, I finally know how to embed links.

    • Aulakauss

      That.. is amazing. How did I also fail to notice this?!

    • xKiv .

      Is she moving the snow instead of the peg?

  • CardiacTasty

    Katia Managan: Puppy Soul Abuser.

  • TheTurnipKing

    This update took ages.

    …it was time well spent. is simply amazing

  • Tim

    Rejoice, Prequel is back! Still super curious as to what is going to happen with the magic stuff!

  • Reiza

    Yes~! Been anticipating this update so much since i’ve been off youtube :D

  • Guest

    The peg refuses to move an inch, right? So instead of trying to move the peg up, try moving the universe down.

    • Psithief

      No no no no no.

      Suggestions go here, not in the comments.

      • Groucho112

        I-I’m sorry!

        • Stray Cat Acid

          It’s chill, don’t get too frazzled. A few people here just really hate having their inboxes pounded by all the chatter that the Prequel comment section generates. That or they’re sick of how stupid everyone around them seems to be, or maybe how everyone here seems to be a star-crossed fanboy, I haven’t quite pinned it down yet. I think the reason is probably more interesting than what I can imagine by myself.

          Great suggestion though, nice and witchhuntery. You should totally submit it. :)

          • Psithief

            No, it was a comment that popped up while I was writing my own. Groucho’s response is gold, though.

            I am frustrated that I can’t fix the problem. I can only let newbies know what they’ve done wrong.

            The website needs a little reminder just before the comments section that suggestions go to that link.

  • ganonlink

    “It means having the sheer arrogance to have humility.”
    That line is AWESOME. I didn’t really get it the first time I read it, but once I did it was the best thing ever.

  • Bob

    So, now we’ve seen her epic dancing skills. This is progress. But we NEED to see the pineapple-and-yoyo-trick. Censored or otherwise, I MUST KNOW WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE!

    Also, best collection of gifs ever.

    • Psithief

      Even Kaz doesn’t know what this looks like.
      That’s the joke.

      • Bob

        I know, if he actually had an idea of what the trick was we’d have seen it. But in this universe most of Anvil knows, and that’s enough to make me FURIOUS WITH JEALOUSY.

    • JJR

      It does not look like anything, whenever it’s performed Alkosh breaks time to prevent it from happening.
      More importantly, it is that which should not be; turn back traveler lest you see what it is, you will never be able to unsee it.

    • Alex Franklin

      It’s not much, but in an interview Kazerad said he got the idea from a line in a Dave Barry book. Something about seeing women who could do an unbelievable feat using a fruit and her vagina… which I guess is slightly more specific since it mentions an involved body part? But that’s all I’ve heard him say on the matter.

  • Psithief

    I’m going to throw in one last suggestion, then call it quits at two. This one needs to be even more profound, I guess.

  • Woodledude

    Great heavens, of course. Thinking like a witch hunter is the same as thinking like a scientist – Most people assume they’re right, but a scientist knows he’s probably wrong, and embraces that. Which allows them to do amazing things… And you hid it all behind the clever guise of a madman. Kaz, you’re a genius.

    • Bob

      “Nothing is impossible! Not if you can imagine it. That’s what being a scientist is all about!”
      -Dr. Farnsworth

      Clearly, one in the same.

      • JJR

        Even better, Cubert’s sarcastic reply was, “No, that’s what being a magical elf is all about.”

        And we just so happen to have a magical elf with us.

        • Bob

          And as I recall the dark matter engine which powers the ship that he sort of invented worked by moving the universe around it.

          I think I see how this peg is going to move.

          • Pajaul

            Exactly, the peg doesn’t need to go up, the universe needs to go down, and Katia is an expert on going down.


          • Woodledude

            In more ways than one, I suppose.

  • Tesla

    C’Mon kitty. All you have to do is pretend the laws of the universe don’t apply to you! Believe!

    • TheTurnipKing

      That’s not what he’s saying.

      What he’s saying is that your knowledge and understanding of the laws of the universe could well be faulty.

      I mean, you take it forgranted that, if you stack an object on top of another object, and then you remove the bottom object, the whole stack will fall over, right? That is expected behavior, and Not Thinking Like A Witchhunter.

      We gotta train Katia to exploit the fuck out of any “bugs” we can find in this universe.

      • FoolishOwl

        This universe is different from our own: ideas precede matter. The laws of physics are the Earthbones — the souls of the Eight Divines, rendered mortal and bound to this plane.

  • Uzi_Man

    Heh, this update makes me think of how Katia is such a beautiful and graceful character in her own unique way.
    The new animations are very well done, too.

  • Moon

    …….hope she does it soon and the next update is can anyone praise the sun?

  • Anonymous

    Yes!!!!! Finally! An update!

  • dude

    This has become a fucking cesspool of “oh my life sucks and isn’t good.” The story has gone nowhere in the past year and it has simply lost appeal.

    • Anon

      You don’t get it. She’s just about to turn her god damn life around by embracing mysticism. This is when shit goes from flat to rising action, or at least making us a good portion of the way up.

      • dude

        Do you get it? Did you read it before when it was great? Before there weren’t attracted to women inspirational panels and “OMG XDDDDDD SO FUNNY” random ghosts that said things that are supposed to be cool. Did there used to be italic text every sentence that mean to convey a message that “Oh you can overcome this.” The comic has deteriorated. If someone showed me it right now I probably wouldn’t give it a second thought and discard it to the heap of stupid things I see all day. Oh, and people like you? That are with this whole fucking bandwagon of “She’s just about to turn her god damn life around by embracing mysticism.” That’s pretty fucking attracted to women. This whole base that this comic has obtained that probably fucking cried after they read “I’m the best fuckup”? You’re all bad.

        It’s not polite to use “gay” in a derogatory manner! I have expanded all instances into “attracted to women”. – The moderation

        • Livn Lern

          It does feel a bit more whiny than it did starting out.the constant pessimistic tone feels like it has just over stayed it’s welcome a little. The story might have just picked you up and then dropped you too many times and the fact that “being a fuck up is a good thing” now (at least as implied) felt a bit overkill, however, it does seem to be picking up again in some capacity. Hoping it works out.

        • Bob

          I literally just read the comic start to finish, and the only change I’m seeing is things looking (very slightly) up for Katia. ‘S been entertaining from cover to cover. You don’t like it? Good thing you don’t have to read it. There’s also nobody compelling you to complain about it.

        • Pajaul

          Attracted to women inspirational panels vs what, horrible depressive pessimistic panels? Random ghost that said things that are supposed to be cool vs what, random orc who says things that are supposed to be cool? This comic is going the same as ever with the exception of better art, more artistic influence, and yes, fuller writing. Did you prefer when each panel was simply a minor altercation of the last, or perhaps a copy of the last in sequence to show taking a long time to think, or mayhaps you mean you’d rather Katia no longer showed any interest in improving? Or maybe you want to see her suffer more and try less? You note a great deal of attracted to women things but don’t suggest an alternative.

          For me this comic has not risen optimistically nearly enough, mainly because that is the running joke, making a cat cry, and you can not have ‘down’ without the ‘up’. But let’s be fair, we’ve been at this for literally years. There is only so much of one flavor one can serve before it become bland. There are spices now and again, mostly artistically, such as the animated panels, the dream sequences, the costume changes and so forth, but the over all formula has not changed. Try- Fail – What did we learn? -Try – Fail – What did we learn? The teacher may have changed, and the situation may be taking a different turn; It may not be progress, it may not even be directional, but it’s a change and if you do not like change, then you can’t possibly be ready for any kind of progression. But if you are, we’d be happy to hear what direction you think it should take. Commands to that purpose would also be appreciated. Never give up the fight my friend.

          –Stop right there attracted to women!

    • CardiacTasty

      Technically, it started as a fucking cesspool of oh my life sucks and isn’t going good. Technically, most of our lives are perpetual cesspools of life suckage and not goodness, unless you get lucky, work hard, or die. Sometimes, all three. I think it’s why we keep coming back; if our life has been a cesspool and Katia’s life continues to be a cesspool, then maybe if Katia’s life gets better, ours will too.

      We’re so desperate for something to validate our wishing, so wrapped up in hope, that we’re willing to grab onto characters we empathize closely with, such as Katia, and slip into the belief that they could serve as an example for us. And looking to an example is something fundamental to being human; it’s rooted deeply in how we learn. Any sufficiently talented story teller could (and I’d propose, does) abuse this pseudo-weakness by creating a sufficiently ‘human’ character. The best writers milk it for all it’s worth.

      The harsh truth is, at the end of the day, this is only a made up story about the life happenings of a particularly sad cat. But it still feels good and maybe could, I dunno, inspire someone to go solve their own problems. Sort of like a security blanket. Or painkillers.

      …you know what, I think I might of just stumbled across one of the things Kazerad could be observing/playing with/experimenting on, all while under the guise of writing a free comic. He’s systematically manipulating people through taking advantage of their hope.

      Fuck. That’s diabolical. {&

  • Darkoh Grubb

    did anyone think of the pond analigy

    eh, instead of just watching I might start taking part.
    insanity ho, another voice enters the fray

  • Broddiccus

    god i love the hard lines, these panels are beautiful the toning on the old guy, katia’s LINES. THOSE LINES ARE SO FANTASTIC

  • dtlux14

    YAY! UPDATE! This was the first update I had to WAIT for. It was worth the wait too. I can’t wait for more, keep up the good work. I also like how the art on this page is different. Keep up the great work. Also, notice that Cider did most work. I LOVE THESE GIFS! BEST OF THE STORY!

  • Christopher Gargani


  • VanityPirate

    OCRAP Sorry accidentally pressed enter too soon. I wanted to say that your art looks fantastic and the story is building up great.

  • Anonymouse

    I cannot believe how much this comic has come to mean to me, personally, as a fellow total fuckup. Thank you so much.

  • KillerTamarin

    Woohoo, another part of the PREQUEL series, now I have to wait for the horribly painful emptiness to pass then again wait for another part of the series.

  • JJR

    File this under things I didn’t notice at first. If you hold your mouse cursor over the second image the inventory bar stays out and labels for everything appear.

    • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

      Yep, it’s also where a peep could set his profile pic, cough cough. c:

      How was that? Could we be Prequel People, aka ‘peeps’? I’ve always wanted to be part of the naming of a group/club/cult. It’d make this, like, official ‘n shit. Maybe it’s too reminiscent of chicken though, idk.

      • JJR

        And now I have a profile pic, of course when I first loaded it disqus disappeared from my computer for about half a minute. I was worried I would never be able to comment on Prequel again. Even worse my first thought was, this must happen to other people, I’ll just post a comment asking how… oh yeah….

      • unclevertitle

        “Preeps” maybe?

        • Pajaul

          “tears” perhaps?

        • CardiacTasty


  • tronn

    I like Cider’s art style – it’s different from yours but it fits the comic and is frankly more expressive.

    Also, our voices seem to originate to the left and bit downwards from Katia’s head, that’s nice to know!

    • Bob

      I haven’t noticed it being any more or less expressive – but we are getting more of the up-close full-face views and less of the round face. That I definitely like. But perhaps that’s just the nature of the last few updates. In any case it’s more about the story.

  • Darkening

    That’s heartwarming at the end :)

  • Livn Lern

    I find it incredible that after reading through this entire journey so far, Katia has yet to even consider suicide. It’s not at all unwelcome but it still seems odd that with all her wanting to escape this miserable life, she has not considered… well, death. Of course if I just jinxed it and next time she might hit the ground once more she actually thinks it up… I apologize.

    • Alex Franklin

      That’s the thing about Katia. She may have a terrible life, but she has aspirations. She still holds out hope that things can get better, regardless of luck, patterns, or narrative foreshadowing!

      • JJR

        And that is just the sort of linear thinking needed to be a witchhunter.

        • Livn Lern


    • tronn

      She’s stupid that way, she just doesn’t know when to give up hope and take the easy way out.

  • peregarrett

    Hooray, a new page!

  • Estradus

    I don’t understand why the pegs aren’t just like, flying all over willy nilly. Oh, sure, theres things like gravity holding them down, but everyone knows how unreliable that is. I bet the whole table could just go floating up into the sky now, totally reasonable. I wouldn’t even blink an eye in confusion if that happened. Bonus points if it remembers gravity after a minute and crashes back to earth somewhere… Maybe, back in through the roof of the tavern, back to where it was suposed to be all along. Yes, that is what could totally happen. It is a perfectly reasonable thing for a table to do, they travel home on their own accord all the time.

  • billy

    Hey it took a month but now we know we’re a fuckup and we still haven’t moved a peg, dont gte me wrong… super cute stuff happened. I’m still saying slow progress

  • Fullmoon

    …It means having the sheer arrogance to have humility…
    Now that’s the damn best speech about general relativity I’ve ever heard. Or quantum theory. Or any other advanced physics theory, for that matter.

  • Evan McArdle

    I’m half expecting her to attempt it with the amulet off, and have the table get flung all the way to Anvil.

  • needsomemiracle

    This is getting increasingly esoteric and philosophical.
    I like it.

    What I’m not sure whether I like or not is a shift from crispy choppy pixel-y art and animation to a more fluid, flash-animation-like panels like when Katia is trying out different stuff with the peg.

    • Scaffolding

      To be honest, I’d personally prefer to stick with the first kind of art style.

      • needsomemiracle

        I’m glad I’m not the only one then.
        There’s a certain charm in the pseudo-Lo-Fi, MSPA-style art that I think has become an integral part of Prequel.

  • DD

    Love his speech here :) its actually pretty wise words, for imagination and discipline in a humorous style…

  • Aulakauss

    Animation! Quotable awesomeness! Cats losing their everloving shit!
    And Katia’s eye being apparently better now.

    (Because seriously, some of those interactive ones bordered on straight-up fucking witchcraft and Katia in Kvatch: The RPG is neigh unbeatable.)

  • Guest

    if doing something wrong is the solution, try to make the peg remain stationary. if you mess that up, that means it will move.

  • BattleCattle

    Hiya. Wow, it’s a li’l crowded in your subconscious, ain’t it? Anyway, got a wild guess for ya, mate. Remember back when ya learned to toss fireballs at apples, ya had to draw the magicka from within, toss it and conflagrate it in mid air? I think ya forgot the first bit here. Ya can’t just imagine it movin’ and expect it to do what ya want just ’cause ya asked nicely. That puzzle there’s a unicorn: If ya just get on the darn thing expectin’ it to go where ya want, the unicorn’s gonna disagree and go its own way: So, put a harness on the unicorn and point its head in the right direction, and you can make it do what ya want.

    Magicka is the harness. It isn’t meant to ask the unicorn if it’ll be a chum and go in the direction ya want, it’s meant to remove all options contrary to the desired result, and let ya sit back and watch magic happen. I can’t tell ya how it’s s’posed to work in practice, that’s what the rest of your head’s supposed to figure out..
    Welp, there ya go.

  • alekksandar

    Oh, shit’s about to get fucked up.

  • Kodak

    So basically, Aggy is saying instead of trying to succeed and be perfect, you should understand that you’ll fail and try to fail in a productive way. Sounds good to me!

  • Nachtrae

    Epic update was epic. Love all the different gifs, it brings so much life to each panel :D

  • Codydudetm

    Be the Dao. Find your own Way, without hindrances like logic or thought. Language is just a construct that fails to conceptualize Mysticism. It’s like using a trap to catch a fish. Once you eat the fish, you don’t need the trap. Once you learn an idea, you don’t need the words.

  • Rosque

    Maybe she should try uh, reverse psychology on the peg? She’s so terrible at everything… what if she’s the best at doing /exactly what she’s thinking about trying to do/?

  • Kiryn Silverwing

    These updates are getting downright inspirational. I love it =D

  • QuarterDollar

    Your weakness is strength, Katia!

  • Cobweb

    We need a side history explaining how the puppy spirit came to be captured.
    Man it’s great to see things moving again!

    • JJR

      No thanks, there’s sad and then there’s puppy farm/magic item factory sad.

  • Flind

    “You have to be a little wrong to be completely right – to abandon truth in favor of questioning falsehood. If you think something’s the easiest way, you have to know you’re wrong.”
    Katia, instead of moving the peg from the puzzle board, try to move the puzzle board away from the peg.

    • Anon

      Make the entirety of Tamriel move back an inch from the peg. Bam, levitation.

      • JJR

        Also massive ‘quakes and flooding along the lower laying areas. I would vote for moving all of Nirn down, not just the one continent.

  • sonicfan315

    This.. this is setting up for an ‘I reject your reality, and substitute my own’ joke isn’t it.

    • pride-and-parliament

      Pretty much to a tee, I’d wager. Avast ye, SonicFan!

    • damned lie; par, in part

      Fantasy come true, yet what a Savage prediction!

  • yerdong

    The fucking poledancing picture. I completely lost my shit. XD

  • James Almasy

    Stop concentrating, and start procrastinating.

    Katia. Think about yourself having a spiritual arm, like aggy’s. You hold your hand out in front of you, but that spiritual arm reaches 5 times as long. It can pick up the peg. You have 20-foot arms. Or Twenty Arm Foots.

    Make no sense, it’s right.

    • Livn Lern

      I’m beginning to think that ELFEN LIED.

  • HuffingtontheOnly

    Guys… I think we have to insult Katia about her capability to screw up. like how shes so screwed up to think that the pegs could never move or something like that. kind off in the alternate title “Making a Cat Cry”… we have to make her cry internally…

    • Da Scary Attic

      That’s like taking three right turns to make a left. Or, like, purposefully missing your turn, backing up to try again, turning the opposite direction just for the lulz, then parking and taking a cab because you are a terrible driver.

      Breaking your capability to be broken? Witchhuntery has got to be the least efficient way to do things.

  • Sommie Riggs

    Hehe, the pole-dancing in the background was brilliant… though a little bit out of character for the moment. Still good comic relief though!

    • Livn Lern

      Well she HAS been implying that that’s the only “dance” she knows.

  • Shaggy Anubisllol

    shes gonna have to do the pineapple thing isnt she?

    • YC aSadCatTri? I<3ta CYrCatSad

      I do hope so. I’d be pleased to see this lesson require rather degrading activities of her in exchange for some small modicum of success; just as life has and will continue to do, of course. We can’t lose focus of who she is, afterall: a miserable animal wherein opportunity is wasted.

  • Anonymous

    This kinda sounds like the start of a philosophy of science lecture. “The map isn’t the territory” “You will be wrong 100 times before you are right” “Nothing is absolutely certain, even the most established theories can be toppled by a single experiment.”

    • JJR

      “Nothing is absolutely certain, even the most established theories can be toppled by a single experiment.”

      What sort of experiment would you use to topple this theory?

      • tronn

        That’s not a theory though, just a principle.

        • JJR

          Ok, but it’s still a thing which means it’s not absolutely certain. At least I think that’s what it means.

  • Ultimate lol

    The awnser is clear now. Bring the booze!

    • JJR

      Look out! Look out!
      Pink ukanorns on parade
      Here they come!
      Hippety hoppety
      They’re here and there
      Pink ukanorns everywhere

      Look out! Look out!
      They’re walking around the cat
      Look at that
      Clippity cloppity
      Arrayed in braid
      Pink ukanorns on parade

      What’ll she do?
      What’ll she do?
      With this unusual brew

      She can’t stand the king of worms
      Or look at microscopic germs
      And technicolor ponys, Nirn, is really too much too see

      she is just the type to faint
      When things are odd or things are quaint
      And seeing things she knows that ain’t can certainly give her an awful fright

      What a sight!
      Chase ‘em away! Chase ‘em away!
      She’s afraid, needs your aid
      Pink ukanorns on parade
      Pink ukanorns…
      Pink ukanorns…
      Pink ukanorns…

  • sexy man with corn

    that was fucking deep

    • CardiacTasty

      Your name alone. What splendor; what class.

    • JJR

      humans fucking love corn.

  • DanteVael

    Is it a bad sign, or a good one, that from what I’ve read so far, I think exactly like a witch hunter?

    • CardiacTasty

      Depends. Do you like spoons?

    • unclevertitle

      It means you won’t bother digging trenches with spoons. So yeah, in that regard it’s a good thing.

    • JJR

      It’s a good sign, though you should probably avoid Aggy’s racism.

  • anonymous

    Wow, you can really see how much the art has improved here. These updates are well worth the wait.

  • M’aiq the Liar

    M’aiq has seen men dig great distances with spoons, but M’aiq finds that a fork works far better

    • unclevertitle


    • HuffingtontheOnly

      M’aiq, why don’t you work with Katia? shee seems to need some cooperation.

  • ganonlink

    Those last panels looked good, but I think the lines are a tad too thick.


    You guys do realize we are basically trying to teach Katia to use the force.

  • Kane

    People who pretend like they’re nonsensing. sense more then sense orientated people, because they’re too busy sensing to be too busy trying to sense, so they can sense harder without having to SHOW more sense. you so boss karezard, if more people said what they felt rather then trying to feel what they say and then say what they’re saying they’d say a lot more in a lot less and others would sense more of it, because you think in riddles and talk in answers but never question why you answer something no one questions without answering what people question and questioning what you answer.

  • fredsite

    This whole thing is better and more inspirationalizing if you just let the music from the flash from Aggy’s extrapolating (while Katia/you are trying to solve the puzzle) run. The analogies make more (or less) sense, so maybe she/you should try thinking about it while that music is playing. BUILD THAT SHOVEL!

    Also, I’VE FIANLLY CAUGHT UP!!! (Not that big of a feat, but still…)

  • Dr. Curiosity

    “Being a witchhunter is about acting with nuance.”

    I read that as “…acting with nuisance.” This may still be true.

  • jkjkjk

    -2 months later-

    “so has the cat flipped the table yet?”

  • Wuffles

    Katia => Be the best fuckup.

  • An Explosion


  • Valdimarian

    the line “I reject your reality and replace it with my own” was made for this instance

    • pride-and-parliament

      It’s substitute, apparently.

    • damned lie; par, in part

      But it is patently true, saps!

  • Fit

    Do you ever plan on having a Patreon or something similar for Prequel? I want to pay you for making such a wonderful experience.

  • Alex Franklin

    I believe she needs to think about her mind-state the last time she used raw magic in spite of the amulet. Could it be tied to the fact that she had just quit drinking, something that took new levels of pure willpower? Maybe you need to achieve a similar feat with regards to intellect. She should try seeing what happens if you devote all effort into believing the nonsense that ghost is spewing. Take on a whole new mindset! EMBRACE the madness! Look at the world through his eyes and see if that changes anything.

    • As I Cry, ‘Dat Cat’

      Look at the world through his eyes and try to find the things that don’t change. Ghost-sight is some pretty freaky shit.

  • pride-and-parliament

    Aah, I love this time-travel cop show on Syfy! *imagines greater*

  • damned lie; par, in part

    *hoots* Hello; I vow it’s me! Everything I say is a perfect anagram!

  • FoolishOwl

    The command I submitted wasn’t accepted, but I feel like our mentor here is offering a similar train of thought, so I feel vindicated.

  • Tau

    So the trick seems to be to get it to make sense. Think about it, magic does always seem to be connected to thoughts and feelings. So thoughts are not just thoughts, they are also magic. At least yours are. Which means that it’s not so strange for a thing to behave differently when it’s filled with your thoughts. And really, all those weird attempts to move that peg have already made that peg special. This is your peg. It doesn’t need to obey gravity anymore. Hell, seeing as it now has a connection to you, it would probably share your talent for failure. And what is flying if not attempting to hit the ground and missing? There’s really no way for this to not happen to this peg.

  • Saminjutsu

    My command that I just posted, what do you guys think?

    “Katia, listen to Aggy. You need to be more flexible with your thinking.

    It’s not a matter of HOW you should get the peg to move, its WHY the peg should move.

    Maybe a giant invisible unicorn just happens to fly by and the force of its passing creates a vacuum that causes the peg to move.

    Maybe the rock you are holding is ACTUALLY an eldritch artifact that was designed by THE ELDER GODS TO SPECIFICALLY MANIPULATE PEG LIKE WOODEN OBJECTS.

    Maybe these voices you are hearing inside your head are actual gods of the world and if you asked them nicely they would move the peg for you.

    Are these likely to be true? Probably not. Yes, they are highly improbable.

    But here is the kicker: THEY ARE NOT IMPOSSIBLE. There is no reason that these COULDN’T happen. And that’s the key.

    Believe in the improbable. Toe the line between rational and crazy.

    Walk that thin line knowing that you can because instead of walking straight down it, you decide to turn it horizontally and realize that the next thin line that someone has to toe (say, between good and evil, black and white, taco and burrito) is right next to it and you can stand on both of them at the same time without falling off and shimmie sideways down the two of them.

    BS the universe using its own rule book. No magic, no skill, no training. Just sheer luck/unluck and playing the system.

    For instance:

    You think the universe has it out for you? You think that EVERYTHING you do is wrong?

    No longer THINK that, BELIEVE it. With all your being. KNOW it.

    When you can achieve that level of understanding: Simply pick up the peg and drop it, knowing that you are such a screw-up that you will miss the ground so completely the peg will have no choice but to fall up.

    (You can then try to fly by throwing yourself at the ground and, true to form, missing. The great Mystic Arthur Dent used it to great effect)”

    • tronn

      That’s, like, way too long. Kaz wants a line or two at most.

  • Wolfee

    …lets have a family shall we?