xvpower wrote:
Dmitri Argoth

You are now Dmitri Argoth. You are composing a letter of heartfelt apology.

While on lookout duty last night a young khajiit woman tackled you from out of nowhere, declaring that she was “horn and drunky” and “wouldn’t take no for an answer”. After determining she was absolutely no threat whatsoever, you did what any man in your position would. You gave her a ride home and then had a threesome with a skeleton.

Yet afterwards as you rode back to Garlas Agea, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You had taken advantage of her. You wouldn’t have even considered it such if not for her argonian friend’s tearful insistence that Katia was “not always like this”. You may be a servant to an unholy lich seeking world domination, but you still don’t believe people should be forced into doing things against their will. At least unless you kill them first. Anything else would be morally wrong.

With this in mind, you have written a more comprehensive letter to the khajiit. You explain your mistake and offer to make it up to her however you can. Maybe you’ll send it with a pouch of gold or a couple Welkynd stones as a goodwill offering. Actually, you recall her saying that she would one day “stop being a drunking whore and become the best wizard ever”. Perhaps she’d like to become your apprentice? You’re sure the other guys would brighten up to her a bit if it means adding one more to the Worm King’s followers.

Then again, if you took on a khajiit apprentice the other necromancers here might start thinking you have a cat thing.


>




63 Responses to “Enter name”

  1. Hehe, last panel caught me off guard. Had me actually laughing, with sound and such.

  2. Whoo!
    Update!

  3. Are those her illegitamite children

  4. Ohgodyes. Just so much yes.

  5. I don’t even know him and I think he has a cat thing, so pretty much to late for his friends to think otherwise.

  6. Is that ceiling cat?

  7. > “There are worse things. God forbid you suddenly find out one of your fellow necromancers has a ‘lizard thing’. Write your poetic heart onto that page, a symphony of words to calm what could be a savage beast of once-drunken revenge!”

  8. KITTENS

  9. What’s in the box?

  10. Are you sure that’s Dmitri Argoth and not… Andrew Hussie? I mean, if anyone was into undead catsecks it’s probably Hussie… and well… it just LOOKS like Hussie…

    Dmitri: Ride a luck dragon and deliver that letter personally!

    Fixes-Homes: Be a real person that actually exists and isn’t just an absurd ploy.

    • It’s just the art style. Otherwise… I’d say he looks very different. Definitely has the angular, evil bat face we would expect from a labyrinth dwelling necromancer out to turn our meat into furniture, skeletons into slaves, and souls into overhead light fixtures.

  11. Oh my god the cat with the welkynd stone is easily the most adorably hilarious thing I have seen all day.

  12. A necromancer with a fondness for cats? Looks like I found my favorite character.

  13. so is this supposed to be a romantic interest? honestly she could do worse. at least this guy seems nice and has some magic abilities that could be a pleasant common interest. ya know as long as you are okay with the whole necromancy thing.
    also this person could help katia fulfill one of her most pressing desires.
    a way to refill magicka is what i mean.
    also apprenticeship sounds cool.

  14. Wait…Worm King you said, sounds ridiculously firmiliar

    • That would be the antagonist of the Mage’s Guild line, Mannimarco.

      Real disappointing pushover. Though given the Warp in the West its possible he’s the Mannimarco that failed and the god he worships is the Mannimarco that succeeded at becoming a god.

      Would be nice to see the perspective of one of his followers with some more humanized traits.

  15. OH MAN!

    HELLO NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER!

    P.S

    It’s my birthday today, but that has nothing to do with anything other then the update on my birthday being awesome.

  16. Are you trying to make us feel guilty about absent-mindedly slaughtering these mooks by the dozen?

    • Even if he is, it’s not going to work! I see through your ploys. Although had there been one like this in game, I may have at least given him a moments pause.

  17. Dmitri Argoth: Invite Katia to meet up with you.

  18. No way is Asotil gonna be down with Dmitri, and NO WAY am I letting this relationship with Asotil be infringed upon negatively in anyway.

  19. Well, he certainly ended up being a better one-night-stand than the Orc-guy anyway.

    So… all those kittens… is he gonna meet up with Katia and say “these are our babies!”? I guess stranger things have happened… That skeleton being part of the threesome, for instance.

  20. It’s dark, but he kinda looks like a redguard.

  21. >Dmitri: Have a cat thing

  22. Dmitri seems like a pretty nice person. yeah becoming a necromancer might not of be “right” by some standards but hey, The benefits are sweet

    Also cats are awesome you don’t have to justify anything to your friends.

  23. Kittens’ Names:

    White Welkynd Kitten: Island

    White Ceiling Kitten: Archipelago

    Dark Brown Kitten: Key

    Gray Brown Bed Kitten: Tropic

    Light Brown Table Kitten: Atoll

    Tan Banister Kitten: Haven

  24. I know remember exactly why I love this quest.

  25. I like this necromancer already. Sure, he kills people and raises their corpses to undead servitude, but apart from that, he seems like a nice guy.

  26. The cat playing with the welkynd stone should activate a projected image of the Necromancer and Katia laughing with malevolent pride with their arms stretched into the sky, with smoke and flames all around them, oh oh, and we need skulls somewhere in there, to show this is a prophecy of DOOM if he should ever take her as his apprentice.

  27. “Tearful”, huh? How sweet, QW really does care.

  28. 1 cat: You are a guy with a Cat.

    2. cats: You are a guy with a pair of cats.

    3+ cats: you are that guy with the cat thing.

    My advice? Find some Orphans. Give them some of your surplus cat populatio, in exchange for their corpses after they die. Orphans are suckers for small fuzzy animals and will sign over their own bodies / souls for their cute widdle wiskers.

  29. Hey Kaz? I was hoping to use the image in the banner to advertise this on my tumblr. However, I don’t know how to get those images since when I right-click it gives me the text part of the image only. Do you think you could provide the banner images behind the text?

  30. Ceiling Cat is a nice touch

  31. Dmitri: Remove brown cat and examine contents of chest.

  32. Revel in your own dark powers. Be the darkest wizard. (Other than the dunmer who lives in the room next to you, of course.)

  33. The day Katia discovers there actually IS an evil king is going to be horrible.

  34. Awwwwwwww he has a cat fetish. That is strangely adorable.

  35. 3rd favourite character get!

  36. “horn and drunkyâ€

    Is that on purpose as in a drunken slur or did I really find a Typo noone else has caught for 4 months now?

    On another note: I think I know what the other Necromancers will be calling him behind his back from now on: Catromancer! ;P

  37. I think you meant to say “Horny and drunk” and not “horn and drunk”

    Not trying to be a stickler on the Typo’s or anything, just trying to be helpful ^^

    Best story on the Internet none the less ^^ Love it!

    • NEVERMIND I see from the post above it was intentional *feels dumb* Sorry…XD damn it all. I should REALLY pay attention

  38. Gee and I thought she had sex with a douche again.
    Guess this guy isn’t so bad after all.
    :)

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