Mar 132011

frostedWarlock wrote:
Accept a menu as you ask for any jobs you can do.

This is definitely a menu meant for sailors. You guess that’s what you have to expect at a port town. It’s all out of your price range, too – that is to say, nothing is free.

But you’re not going to let that bring your spirits down. You compliment the elf on his fine seaside establishment and alluring menu, then clumsily segue into how you are broke and looking for a job. Maybe he needs a maid to clean up at the end of the day, or a waitress to service tables? Or someone to do both for the wage of one?

Him and his brother manage to handle all the chores around here, he explains. There’s not really any need for a third employee, no matter how many jobs she was willing to take up and how little wage she was willing to accept. Between the two of them, there is more than enough manpower to keep the food cooked, sailors fed, the tables spotless.

You have a sneaking suspicion they aren’t actually brothers.

You’ve been in Cyrodiil for all of fifteen minutes and your ambitious dreams of starting anew are already feeling a bit shakier. You confess that you didn’t plan ahead very well and are in dire need of employment. Is there anyone in town who might need some menial labor? You’re willing to learn new skills. You’re scared and alone and just need a place to sleep and a way to put food on the table.

The gay elves explain that many trading ships come through this port. If you have any valuable possessions, you may be able to sell them for a good price. If you don’t have any valuable possessions… well, maybe someone else will need a maid or something. You could ask around.

Your only possessions in the world right now are the clothes on your back and this lockpick you found on the floor of the ship. You have no idea how to use a lockpick.

  • Anon44

    Flowing Bowl Gay Elves would be a good name for a rock band.

  • Tallgrass

    Just saying, it’s creepy how the elves’ eyes blink in sequential order…

    • Hurrington of durr

      well they are very,very close to each-other.

  • iDancethroughshadoWs

    that lewd innuendo suggesting the elves were gay was quite unnecessary.

    • Chris

      I agree, maybe even add that it pushes the border of unnecessary

    • Cassandra

      Well that’s how a lot of people think. o.O
      A khajiit can’t make an observation?

    • BatteredBat


      It’s the little details like this that give the comic entertaining personality and character. The author should not have to make compromises for people like you.

      We know you’re gay and all, but do you have to be so butthurt?

      • TheGoose109


  • DestinedFateX

    She probably doesn’t even remember how she got that lockpick in the first place……

    “Katia, here’s a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.”

  • DestinedFateX

    Never mind, she got it from the floor of the ship.

  • bob

    gayness gayness gayness GAYNESS I TELL YOU

  • ingrid

    trololo “gay elves” (no homophobe :D)


    Anyone else notice the weird blinkwave?

    • Deodesu

      Yeah. Wtf.

    • Ja’ Jarsha Rovandi

      They use that to protect themselves from the weeping angels.

  • Snickerdoodle

    “Gay elves” is largely redundant.

    • They are wierd…Look at their eyes…

  • Ja’ Jarsha Rovandi

    Sometimes you’ll settle for anything, but at that point who wants to hire you? Here’s The Flowing Bowl’s Payroll.

    I’d like to see if something’s free
    In the Flowing Bowl’s menu its decree
    Can I come in, from where I’ve been
    Can the Flowing Bowl hire me I’m not kin.

    I’d mooch off friends for money see
    But a pawcity of them haunts me
    I’d like to see if something’s free
    In the Flowing Bowl’s menu it’s decree

    And I would work slavish to thrive
    But I only need money for one to live
    Living on the right side of law
    With the Flowing Bowl’s stipend in my paw

    I won’t ask my other friends
    They are not here and they’re in cults
    I’d like to see there’s work for me
    In the Flowing Bowl tavern its decree

    I won’t drink or sleep about
    The city Anvil protect my name
    (To protect my forged name)
    Oh what joy for every customer
    Knowing I’m serving and decent
    (I’m serving and decent)

    You would be happy if you hired me
    No one here to make you pay a lot
    I’d like to be if you it please
    On the Flowing Bowl’s payroll oh please
    On the Flowing Bowl’s payroll oh please
    On the Flowing Bowl’s payroll oh please