Jun 062011

epoxy wrote:
> Would it be appropriate to try cheering the Countess up… by mentioning other unfortunate things that could have (might have (maybe)) happened to a soldier on that (dangerous) stretch of road?

Quill-Weave and Baeralorn already said the Gold Road is relatively safe. And Quill-Weave wouldn’t lie to you!

Anyway, Imperial Legion soldiers are notoriously bad at dying. Every time they conquered a place, the original rulers were like “hey, start dying!” and the Imperial Legion was like “no”.

At least that’s how you understand history.

McFrugal wrote:
Katia: Maybe you should let other people control the flow of the conversation for a little while.

Yamtaggler wrote:
>Wait for someone else to converse, honestly you’re doing much better than I expected. Keep it up, kitten!

Yeah, it’s probably best if you just hear what other people have to say. You don’t want to risk screwing anything up.

While you finish eating, Orrin speaks at length about how the punishment for theft is far too severe in Cyrodiil. Evidently you’re expected to pay a heinously high fine even if you apologize and give the item right back? That does seem a little ridiculous to you, but you guess it keeps crime down.

Orrin says the jail sentences are even worse than the fines. Once you get thrown in the Imperial City prison, you’re never seen again. Last guy he knew who was incarcerated there apparently got sent off east somewhere and turned into an orange. At least he’s pretty sure that’s what he heard. Maybe it was a nectarine? Either way, sad fate.

GodotIsWaiting4U wrote:
>Finish milk, request a new GLASS of milk (emphasize that it should be in a glass and not a dish).

ViniVidiVici wrote:
>Kat, ask for a refill for your glass… and throw a deadly look at the waiter while doing it

You’d love an opportunity to passive-aggress at the servant who gave you that dish, but you don’t see any servants in the room right now.

Oh well. Not like it matters. You’re pretty sure Quill-Weave wouldn’t mind you drinking from her glass. And besides, you still have plenty of milk left.

You can’t think of anything that would make you urgently want more mi-

Oh my gods is that chocolate cake?

You’ve never had cake in your life. There’s just been a lot of ruined birthday parties where you almost had cake.

  • Terumitsu

    “Anyway, Imperial Legion soldiers are notoriously bad at dying. Every time they conquered a place, the original rulers were like “hey, start dying!” and the Imperial Legion was like “no”.”

    That is the best explanation I have ever read for explaining the Imperial’s skill with expansion.

    • ApocalypticCritic


      And then the Thalmor happened.

      • Righteous Almond

        They only lost the war because they decided to go from the epic, solid steel armor that made them un-killable. Then they decided to switch to cloth/leather armor, which was an awful decision.

        • Tristan

          It was most likely a cost decision, the war was rough on the legion. And considering how thin they were spread in Skyrim the legion is probably still coping with the losses of the war.

        • Worm Anchorite

          Now, now… The Imperials didn’t lose the war. It was called a tie. I think.

        • KuramaBingyi

          Actually, I think it might not be too farfetched to think that the Imperial Legion garrisoned in the capitol province of the Empire would be outfitted with much heavier and battle-capable armor than the “majority rank and file” of the Emperor’s armies. Even in TESIII: Morrowind, there were Imperial Legion members with Leather armor garrisoned across Vvardenfel.

          Logistically osing the war against the Thalmor, and forcing it into a stalemate, was probably because the Legion was spread too thin and wasn’t getting enough recruits to replace their losses.

      • egg brother

        if you do pay attention, all the soldiers still wearing steel armor are the ones surviving. the cheap leather coat guys get killed by a bandit with a knife

  • matty406

    “You’re pretty sure Quill-Weave wouldn’t mind you drinking from her glass.”
    Don’t you fucking dare.

    • dtlux14

      Oh 😀

  • Tirien

    Awesome reference to the main character of Morrowind.

  • Anonymous

    Nerevarine = Nectarine?

    • Woundedkneecap

      Yeah, it seem like I’m a quadriplegic playing frisbee… I didn’t get that at first.

  • dow

    I’m just surprised noone asked about mudcrabs.

    • Dalen Vreth

      I get it!

  • Zerp

    Uhm, chocolate is generally poisonous to cats… maybe she shouldn’t be eating that?

    • RedRockRun

      Poisonous to cats, yes, but not poisonous to Khajiiti O_^

  • Skelitor

    I love picking out the subtle nods to Oblivion, like Orrin talking about thieves or the creepiness of the Stranger or that everyone in this story but katia is actually in the game. But Quill-Weave acts kinda cold to me, even if i be nice to her just because of this story. xD

    • Woundedkneecap

      That must mean katia did something to piss off a lot of people so they refuse to remember her or something like that… Or everyone is a racist and guesses she is just another khajiit

  • Flodos

    I LOVE that last panel “oooh…”-face!

  • benenator

    For Katia, the cake was a lie.

    • Dalen Vreth

      Dude… just let it die…

      • MentallyUnstable


  • ZStarlight

    Hopefully she will not choke on something AFTER finishing her milk…. I know a blackout is inbound very near

  • Person

    Nerevarine reference was just…brilliant.

  • jay

    passive-aggress -> passive-aggressive ?
    Maybe I’m just missing a joke or something though. 😡

    • jay

      Oh that looks like an angry smiley! I just meant a simple : x.

    • Tormuse

      “Passive-aggressive” is the phrase more commonly used and it’s an adjective. In this case, it seems to have been turned into a verb, “passive-agress.” I don’t know if that’s actually a word, but I think we can allow Kazerad a bit of literary license here. 🙂

    • kotekzot

      i like to think it’s a reference to MSPA, where aggress is a battle command.

  • Tex

    I started laughing so hard at nectarine that I now have a headache

  • Khajiit

    awww poor kitteh never had cake

    • dtlux14


  • Uknown

    Can someone open a portal to this instant so that they can give me a slice of cake?

  • dtlux14