Jun 072011

ConsumedYogurt wrote:
Eat the cake in small bites too, it might be really rich.

lexavian wrote:
>Before the cake lady leaves, ask her if she will refill your glass of milk.

Whimbrel wrote:
Eat that cake at a reasonable rate like a normal person who has eaten cake before. If you need help with this, look to Q-W for a role model.

What was that, Logical Thought? I couldn’t hear you over the taste of all this delicious cake.

Which makes no sense but oh gods you don’t care, this is so good. It turns out cake is basically the second best thing ever.

The countess begins telling a long and elaborate story about how this recipe was taken from an evil warlord-chef whose journey to create the best cake ultimately sent him into a diabetic coma. You suspect the story is made-up, but this cake is still pretty damn amazing.

It is very thick and rich though. You really should have asked that servant for more milk before she left.

Yamtaggler wrote:
>Level with me, Katia, do you really need an instruction manual on how to friggin’ eat? I’m pretty sure you’ll do fine.

Yeah, you really don’t need the help. You’re capable of making basic decisions on your own.

Like right now you really want a drink to wash this cake down, and the servants are nowhere to be seen. You could wait for one to show up, but that would mean not shoving more delicious cake into your mouth. You’d ask Quill-Weave if you could have a sip of her water, but you don’t want to interrupt the Countess.

Quill-Weave’s glass is unattended, though. You are pretty sure you could sneak a gulp without her noticing, and are certain this action will have no negative ramifications whatsoever.

Sure, you remember all those reasons not to steal her drink, but let’s be honest: Quill-Weave can afford curative potions, so she wouldn’t have any communicable diseases. And it’s not like you have any diseases, since you just drank a disease-curing potion a few hours ago. And if someone sees you drinking her water, it’ll just look like you accidentally picked up the wrong glass.

The idea of slimy lizard backwash doesn’t really bother you either. I mean, you’ve had more experience with Argonian saliva than you care to admit.

  • matty406

    If you even dare so much as to touch that glass young lady you’re grounded.

    Also lol’d at first pic.

    • LionFox

      Yup, the face she makes is what makes this comic so great.

    • egg brother

      im gunna point this out cuz no one ever thought about it:

      argonians are disease resistant, but they can still give disease.

      i mean you might even be immune to a disease, that doesnt mean if you come in contact with it and then someone else you can still give the disease.

      • zmcr1234

        The word you’re looking for is a “carrier” of a disease.

  • Scy

    You, and Argonian spit and… Never mind…

    • Woundedkneecap

      And on that subject

      “Which makes no sense but oh gods you don’t care, this is so good. It turns out cake is basically the second best thing ever.”

      What’s the first best thing… (it’s sex, which is weird because when ever I see family eat cake, they say “this is better than sex” but for me cake is just a gateway to awkward alienating discussions powered by extreme sugar highs, then a crash and burn recovery of anger and the need to get in fights with people on the Internet… This has gone on too long)

      • galaxygraber

        Katia said a little while back that hugs were the best thing ever, making cake the second best thing ever.

      • tech

        I never got why they compare sex to cake. it just doesn’t measure up at all. Yes, I am fat and lonely, why do you ask?

      • Snout

        Cake is a gateway drug. o.o

        • undeaduniverse

          that leads to brownies than to cupcakes I_I

  • Train Car

    Choo choo! All aboard the Plot Express Railway! Our stories always get to where the conductor wants them to! And on time too!

    • TechUnadept

      Nobody likes a whiner, Train Car. don’t like, don’t read.

      • evileeyore

        The irony of a Train Car whinging about the rails is too sweet!

        • SplinteredReverence

          I’m quite sure he made that name to add humor (or at least his annoying deffinition of humor) to his post.

          The joke is on him anyway.

      • I like it when people deliver genuine criticism.

        >don’t like, don’t read

        • Captain_Eaglefort

          Because you know, it’s ENTIRELY accurate to compare telling someone to pick a different website out of literally billions of possible ones to telling someone to uproot their life and pick a new country in which to live. Grow up. On the internet, don’t-like-don’t read is the rule. Creator created the comic, creator can decide what the fuck happens. The commands would make for a really boring comic. “Nothing goes wrong and she does everything right. THE END”.

          • kotekzot

            Stumble and drop everything? That was a command. That said, I think the story is perfect. Katia is very sweet and naive despite her rough life, and watching her struggles really makes one empathize with the character.

        • dtlux14

          Nice copywrighted video.

  • Leon

    New reader, and I have to say that I’m enjoying this comic immensely. Basically all of my waking hours the past few days have been spent either losing my soul to Skyrim or reading this, but I’m afraid I have to jump on the old typo bandwagon.

    In “Which makes no sense but oh god you don’t care, this so good.” Should it be “this IS so good.”?

    • NoriMori

      Yeah, you’re right, and shouldn’t it be “oh gods”?

      • Kazerad

        Man, I suddenly see why editors get paid so much. It turns out writers can’t proofread for shit. D=

        Both adjusted accordingly, thanks!

        • creeperbro

          It is possible to be both. I’m a writer, and a retired Grammar N@zi (quit on the first week bc no one’s ever gonna spell right and it’s just so fun to spell bad on purpose… lol)

  • stygian
    • Kazerad

      Are you implying she is a cat?

      You racist.

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      You are incorrect sir, and i have imperical (or anecdotal) evidence to prove it!
      My cat loves cookie dough.
      Cookie dough is sweet.
      Therefore, my cat must love sweet things.
      To love sweet things, you need to be able to taste them.
      Ergo, my cat CAN taste sweet things!

      • benenator

        Oooooor she just likes the texture and consistency of the dough.

        I mean, “d’oh!”

      • patrick

        sorry mate, but a cat can not taste anything sweet. might just be a coincidence.

    • Cassandra

      She’s not a cat she is a khajiit. Cats don’t walk on two legs and talk either.

  • epopisces

    Train Car, this entire scenario has been setup. The author has been building anticipation for it all dinner–I mean, really: extremely flammable curtains? Amulet perspective? Dodging the bullet again and again?

    This is fine storytelling, because everyone just *knows* it’s all going to fall apart sometime. The only way she’s NOT drinking Quill’s water is if late diabetic cook’s recipe was for alcoholic cake (and it’s taking effect slowly). Heh, that’d be awesome.

    Point being the audience input isn’t what is writing the story, we just add flavor. And admit it, the level of “oh no, oh no, don’t do it Katia DON’T DO IT!” buildup is epic.

  • Dude. Don’t you know that felines cannot taste sweets?! The only thing Katia could possibly taste in the cake is the bitterness of the chocolate. -.-

    • Dray

      She’s a Khajiit. No reason to assume her taste buds are feline-based. Cats also wouldn’t appreciate a nice salad, or spicy jalapeno, which Katia earlier enjoyed.

  • Twilight-Kun

    *chuckles* Cake is always good

    even has some fanart for it: http://d.facdn.net/art/zorryn/1358632811.zorryn_katia_cake.jpg

  • rayzzonn

    oh god i can see something bad happening in the future DOINT DRINK IT IT HAS BOOZE IN IT

  • David Kim

    That first pic.
    Fuck I almost died from too much joy.

  • ronin1337

    Well, it was nice while it lasted :C

  • Erik

    The idea of slimy lizard backwash doesn’t really bother you either. I mean, you’ve had more experience with Argonian saliva than you care to admit.

    lol at the images popping up in my head… >:3

  • dtlux14

    “I mean, you’ve had more experience with Argonian saliva than you care to admit.” Oh, um… Ok then… The first panel may be one of my favorite of the whole story though.

  • khajiitlover

    Katia> reach for the glass but Quill-Weave knocks it away

  • Galena

    Ah. Pretty sure chocolate is poisonous to cats…