Jul 272011

passing_by wrote:
>Katia: Check for no reason whatsoever if you still have the lockpick.

Doomkiwi wrote:
Also… her lockpick is in a “secret location” it seems…

Yes, you still have your lockpick. You’ve been keeping it in your backpack.

Brickman wrote:
Katia, you do NOT have the basics of fire-making down. Real wizards do not cast magic by thinking of new clever plays on words every time they see a goblin. They do something like this for long enough to get noticed and prove they have magic, arrannge to be taught the basics of proper magic, and either train, study or both to improve from there. You aren’t going to master this on your own; all you can hope for is to become just good enough that someone better than you decides you’re worth helping.

TheFinalWraith wrote:
Maybe you should ask the soldier for advice?

You decide to ask Asotil if he has any advice. Surely, he’s known some Imperial wizards during his time in the Legion? Or has fought evil wizards while on patrol?

You’re just feeling like this is kind of hopeless, you explain. You have no idea what you’re actually supposed to be doing to control the fire. Maybe it would be best if you waited until you found a real wizard who was willing to train you.

Asotil encourages you to simply keep trying. You are already a real wizard, he says, and the only way you’ll get any better is by wizarding. You have nothing to lose by trying. Worst case scenario, you mis-cast a spell and die horribly in a giant ball of fire. But then, you’ll be dead, so you won’t care. It’s a win-win situation.

That doesn’t sound like a win-win, you say, but thank Asotil for his help nonetheless. You guess you’ll just… keep trying. And hope you learn something.

Alright then. If he’s not going to let you throw in the towel, it’s time to start experimenting with this.

Experiment one: let’s try out some apple burns, and see if that makes the apples… burn.

IronSaber48649 wrote:
Katia, these fruits are rotten. You gotta in’cider’ate them! Make those crabby apples burn!

phantomCharlatan wrote:
Here you want to burn apples, not cats. So you could try apple puns, and make these impudent fruits crumble before your devasTatin‘ power

You concentrate on the apples and think up the best apple-insults you can muster. Or perhaps you should say “the best apple-insults you can custard“. Like… apple custard.

Gods, you are terrible at this.

The apples apparently think so too, and impudently refuse to burst into flame.

In fact, nothing bursts into flame.

That narrows it down a bit. The magic seems to only happen when you get offended. You must be accessing it based on your own emotions. Of course, that still leaves you with no way to direct the magic.

It’s time for Experiment Two…

Mr.Awesomest wrote:
>Katia, pick the “staff” up, point it at the apples, and try again. The “staff” looks like it could have directed the shot toward the wall, although you only just got it.

contemptibleComedian wrote:
start swinging your arms incessantly in the direction of those apples and get MAD

LiquidDinosaur wrote:
Raise your hands higher up! Like Hannibal and the woman at the Mages Guild were! It’s like the mage-equivalent of holding out your pinkie to be fancy.

Homelessdude wrote:
Use your tail, it will channel magic purrfectly.

Tehoonted wrote:
Pretend those apples are those dumb gay elves.

Actually, go ahead and pretend that those apples, the very ones in front of you, are the cause of all the failure and misery in your life. Once you incinerate those apples, you’ll never drunkenly do your pineapple and yo-yo trick again. You might even grow a beard!

Niall wrote:
Imagine the apples are insulting you. They’re saying things like:

“I heard you designed your own dress. Must have been hard without opposable thumbs. Actually, it kinda looks like it was designed by someone who lacked opposable thumbs, so…”
“So, does your race have a soul, because I heard that animals don’t have souls.”
“That wall was nowhere near your target. It’s OK, I understand. I know felines don’t have depth perception.”
“You’re pathetic! You couldn’t find a mouse if it got dared by its friends to go up and bite you on the toe.”
“Pfft! That was awful. I nearly feel sorry for you, but you’ve consumed enough cider to keep a brewery in business for three years so I guess I’m just impressed you can stand right now.”

You try every idea at once. One of them HAS to work.

… or not.

The apples remain unburned as always. This is starting to get a little discouraging. Maybe this really is just a huge waste of time.

Apathy wrote:
>What you need to do is focus on your area of influence. You’ve set stuff on fire without even thinking about magic, but you’ve never tried to think about something outside of the scene directly around you at the same time.

Bibliophael wrote:
Katia. Concentrate.

Think not of the fire for a moment. Pause, reflect, consider, understand the flow of magicka that is essential to your being.

Do not believe this task to be above you. Do not believe that you cannot understand these forces. It is your magicka. It is your power. It is yours. You will find that it is more familiar to your mind than the back of your hand.

Raise one arm. Feel how this movement diverts the flow. Flex your claws. Feel how this motion inscribes a net of power. Take a moment to determine how you may direct this flow and deploy this net in a bolt of energy.


To cast a spell, one must focus one’s imagination and willpower on transmuting their natural magicka into something elemental. Your imagination and willpower, they are the keys. You have demonstrated admirable quantities of both in recent times. Think of the stream of magicka you have at your command. Think of fire itself.

Now. You will gather a ball of magicka in your fist. It will be easier than opening your eyes. You will ignite this ethereal ball. It will be simpler than falling asleep. You will project this bolt of elemental fire towards the targets. It will be more natural than breathing.

Well, there’s one more thing you haven’t tried. All this time you’ve been focusing on the apples, trying to start a fire on top of them. But when you talked to the wizard at the Mages Guild, he implied the magic was inside you. When you’re trying to start fires far away from you, you probably don’t have much control over it.

But if you tried to start it a little closer…

You close your eyes and concentrate. There’s magicka inside of you, you say to yourself. You imagine it flowing around you, through your veins, up your arms. You cup your hands and picture yourself to be holding a big glob of it.

You wait there a moment, calmly focusing on that ball of invisible energy that is hopefully between your hands. You imagine it as vividly as you can, until you can practically feel its weight. And once you feel confident that it really, truly is there, you think to yourself…


Yeah, nothing happens.

You keep concentrating on the hypothetical ball of magicka between your hands, and continue on to Plan B:

redpharoah wrote:
There’s no hope for you, you should tail it back to Quill Weave’s and hide in a Basket of yarn, at least these can help you feel Catter.


Holy FUCKSHIT your hand is on fire and it really burns!


And there it goes.


You just threw a ball of fire.

You’ve never been this proud of yourself in your entire life.

Asotil notes that your aim is Kind Of Crap.

  • Serotonin

    How far is that fireball going to go? Is it going to hit some space faring civilization? More importantly, what does your guard pal think about it? Aside from your obviously impeccable aim.

    • Samuel

      Once it gets high enough, it’ll get starved of oxygen and go out.


        how high does it even have to be?

        • Jebediah Oldenheimer

          HIGH ENOUGH.

          • SoPoR SyCoPhAnT

            I’m not high enough…

          • dtlux14

            From your name I think you are…

        • dow

          To do something like that?

      • Steven

        Maybe magic fire doesn’t need oxygen to burn.

        • 300 Wingwangs

          Maybe shut up! >=(

        • 300 Wingwangs

          I’m sorry. =(

    • Keeran

      it’ll go REALLY high, then it’ll fly straight down and hit the Adoring Fan.

    • Minifyord

      That, my friends, is called a brick joke. That ball of fire will come back later for lulz and profit.


    • herp a derp

      Well obviously it will fly all the way to morrowind and hit those DAMNABLE CLIFF RACERS.

  • Anon44


  • Kazerad

    I’m going to post a reminder here that the actual commands go in the forum thread, since it makes it easier for me to find them all!

    I seriously have to add a note about that over the comment box. I’ll remember later hopefully.

    • Soadreqm

      You should also link that ‘>’ at the bottom of the update back to the suggestion thread. I keep trying to click it, to absolutely no effect. 😛

  • der


  • MysteryJack

    I laughed so hard at the sudden whiplash at the end. I was like “awww” and then “ahahaha”.

    And like a bunch of other adventures I’m reading, I can’t think of commands anymore. *sigh*

  • hpsandwich

    maybe you should try wrapping something around your hands so it doesn’t hurt, also you do have fur and fire cant be good for the fur on your hands…

  • NuVanDibe


  • Richard

    Oh god, that ball of fire is going to cause horrible consequences.

  • Josh_of_Spades

    >Be the Fireball

    >Discover consciousness amidst the stars before hitting sky-box and dissipating.

    • Josh_of_Spades

      >Be Josh_of_Spades

      >Withdraw command after reading Kazerad’s comment

  • someone

    “You’re a wizard, Hairy.”

    • Flodos



  • Shima

    Awesome work! I burst into laughter every single time I see the “HOLY SHIT MY HAND IS ON FIRE” animation 😀

  • herp, derp, flerp

    > You are now the fireball.
    > Fly towards Kvatch and burst into a gate of Oblivion when you hit the ground.

  • Blacklance

    aww yeah Katia! NOW,Burn those evil apples!

  • Legends12

    so yeah,… what IS in that approximate direction?

    • someone

      Pretty much nothing. As far as TES lore and gameplay go, magical projectiles are not affected by gravity so the fireball will never land or fall. If it persists existing as it flies up, it will reach the void of Oblivion (the world sits in a pocket within Oblivion), and if it hits nothing there and keeps on flying onwards, it’ll reach the dark barrier between Oblivion and Aetherius. If somehow it managed to pierce that barrier, it would create a new star — because the stars are pretty much nothing but holes from which Aetherius’ magicka, seen as pure light, flows into Oblivion and the world.

      TES cosmology is funky.

      • Legends12

        thank you. i had relative knowlage of TES lore, and you just expand it… alot. thank you.

  • Kyris

    Congratulations Katia! You’re now one step towards a brighter future. I’m proud of you, now go burn some apples 🙂

  • Dagon

    >Be people leaving commands
    >never realize you have to go to the mspaforums to leave ACTUAL commands

  • DrDoctor

    You are worthless and you’ll never be a mage, just go to Kvatch and try to avoid being grotesquely murdered

    • i hate you


  • Duster

    Maybe you should get some gloves to keep the fire from burning your hand. That way you could not flip the fuck out and actually aim.

  • ViniVidiVici

    Most adorable set of panels so far <3

  • red pharoah

    That’s the first time anyone’s ever used a suggestion by me, I don’t know what to say. Thanks Kaz :D.

    • brofist

      Good job, my fine sir

  • KhanCake

    You did it! Here take this badge I drew for you!

    • Suraru

      epic XD

  • KhanCake

    This is great Katia! You now know more about controlling your inner magicka! You should practice this more whenever you get time until you get it to work pretty much every time.

    I like to look at the magicka as very flammable gas, and that these “cat burns” ignite it. When you didn’t control the magicka the “burns” just sort of ignited whatever was around you that your magicka could reach. But when you focused it all into a ball you could… somewhat… control it! Keep practicing this and I’m sure you’ll be a great wizard one day even if you don’t grow a beard!

  • Crysis

    …I’m worried that its gonna hit someone VERY VERY far away and this event will haunt us for it.

    • mpuone

      Its going to hit something, lets hope not someone…

      • Legends12

        yep, tht would mean:
        three days later a angry, random imperial will run up to while in the middle of no where and scream “stop criminal scum”, and try to arrest you.

  • The Lucky Dank

    You are now out of Magicka.

  • Ducky

    Awesooome! She’s getting somewhere!

  • Krimsin
    • Tita


  • Muffalopadus

    Dangit. Was linked to this today and reaching the end is like walking into a wall. DAMMIT.

  • guy

    Welp, there goes Kvatch.

  • Zagura

    Goodness gracious great balls of fire!

  • SushiJaguar

    Hahahaha, finally, Katia! Now, just try and aim at the apple. Make like a cricket bowler already!

  • Link

    Asotil sure knows how to ruin the mood =D

    It’s interesting to see how the artistic style in these panels get better and better for each page. I haven’t seen any other of your artwork so I don’t know how good you are at your best but even so it seems like you get better at drawing these quick pics =)

    • Rodrigo

      I was thinking about it. He technically was not encouraging in this exact instant, but he was so matter of factly, that he considered the casting itself be just natural for her, in a sort of “I knew you had it in you” kind of way. I think that’s something.

  • matty406

    Magika’s not the only thing inside her. honk honk.

  • Sweet Bro

    your aim is kocstain

  • Thedudewhodisagreesandagrees

    Congrats, Katia, you just made your first ball of fire. (thanks to the slight “help” from RedPharoah)

  • Moonwalker

    first i thought it was going to land on the tree on the left, and then the guard would panick but latter jump and smash the tree, but once it was off fire a spark ignited the other one(repeate process that happnd on other tree)

  • Andy

    And when the truth finally dawns… it dawns in FIRE.

  • TechUnadept

    that is going to ruin somebodys day…

  • Fancypantsman

    Dicovered your site this morning. Been reading for several straight hours. Just. Cant. Stop.
    Hell, I should really get up and eat something before I starve.
    Love it.

  • Cole

    I figured the ball would go completely nuclear, Light the sky up all that jazz. Though ya gotta admit it. It was cool when she light it up.

  • Richard

    i CANT POSSIBLY be the only one STILL replaying the ‘drink up’ animation for the music while i read these?

  • Zamordomin

    I seriously hope that fireball hits someone or something later on in the story when Katia is in trouble and has no way of defending herself. Probably not >.<

  • just some one who loves this

    she put the lockpick in her ear

  • Uknown

    That fireball will destroy an UFO one of these days. 🙂

  • Shadowkey392


  • Psithief

    I love it when URLs still work 3 years later.

  • dtlux14

    This is probably one of the best, if not the best page. She did it (; She really did it…