Aug 092011

cultureulterior wrote:
Dmitri> Send her a scroll of cure minor wounds, to heal her broken heart

Abominor wrote:
why not include a scroll of summon skeleton as well?

Ah! Both very good ideas.

Any aspiring spellcaster can benefit from a few good scrolls. These ones were just collecting dust anyway, since you know both spells by heart.

Still, weak scrolls are not a very substantial goodwill offering on their own. You should probably send her something else as well.

masonthekiller wrote:
Also, send her a human heart. Hallow it out and fill it with candy. Bitches love hearts and candy.

Language, sir!

Nevertheless, you have heard that women appreciate hearts filled with chocolates…

Then again, you don’t actually have any human hearts available. Most people don’t know this, but intact human hearts are notoriously difficult to extract. It’s nothing at all like these dremora hearts, which you can just sort of pop out with a spoon.

Giving her a dremora heart might send the wrong message. You’re not entirely sure what message it would send, but it would probably be the wrong one.

IronSaber48649 wrote:
Dmitri: Send her some gold and that mortar and pestle. Alchemy is also very useful to all wizards.

Thoughtful, but sadly not an option.

This is the only mortar you have, and you use it on a regular basis. These days it’s not like a necromancer can just swing by the Mages Guild to get new alchemy equipment.

somebodystrange wrote:
Dimitri: send her one of your cats, girls love cats right? And since she’s a cat she should like it even more shouldn’t she?

What? No! You refuse!

While you don’t doubt the khajiit’s responsibility as a pet owner, you are planning to ask Baeralorn to deliver this letter for you. You’ve seen how that elf treats his pet rats, and you expect he would act no differently toward one of your kittens. He probably doesn’t even know what cats eat.

  • Psithief

    It’s fish flavoured! know..they’re like fish eaters.

  • Tallgrass

    Well, Dremora heart DOES recover health, right…?

  • scruffy

    Dimitri my man, be a gentleman and take her out for a nice and friendly dinner.

  • Soy Amada

    Cats shouldn’t eat organ meat too often.

    • some random dude

      meh, the deader the better.

    • FDJustin

      Ay? What? Vicious (though domesticated) predators shouldn’t eat the tasty insides of their main food sauce?

      But seriously, I want to know why you came to that, it’s kinda counter-intuitive.

      • Alex

        Organs aren’t the only kind of meat there is you know.

        • Cruxador

          If you want to get technical about it, then actually, all parts of the body that you can eat are organs.

        • FDJustin

          Yes, but that doesn’t explain why they shouldn’t have them often.

    • Chris

      I would think the cat food that some people feed their cats is ten times worse

    • Xshu

      Aren’t hearts actually muscles anyways? Eating a heart isn’t like eating kidneys or lungs or something.

  • Debaser

    Cats: Be eating imp gall

  • Consider offering to meet her somewhere for either a real first date or an in person apology.

  • Soadreqm

    Oh my Tribunal he’s feeding them dremora heart! So cute! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Jadrie

    How about a shiny Welkynd Stone? Would be a thoughtful gift for any mage in your life. Atronach especially.

  • Psiana

    Huh. He doesn’t look as good in those close ups (the character, not the art). He should really get some more rest.

  • bee

    sounds like you still hold a flame for this Khajiit. maybe you do have a cat thing.

  • Dagon

    I still think he looks like a redguard.

    Maybe he’s just a gray breton?

    • Sciver

      Or maybe it’s just dark.

      Considering the only light source is that mysterious glowing cat toy, and his eyes are a rather dark shade of not-white… Though he does seem very tan aside from that.

      • patrick

        it is a Welkynd Stone, son.

  • mpuone

    I Think gold (money) is all she really need right?

    Anyway, this is the best (and strangest) story I’ve ever see. I love it!

  • Cauchemar

    Awwww, Dmitri is the cutest necromancer ever.

    • kurry


      I wish I could've made a necrofriend in Oblivion!

  • Okay, the human heart / dremora heart joke made me laugh. Now that’s a game reference I can get behind!

    “Sort of pop out with a spoon” indeed.

  • Skelatox

    The gray kitten in that first panel! <3 <3

  • chickenlord

    pick up two copies of the same scroll. pick up a kitten. equip the scroll twice. drop the kitten.
    also best charecter every

    • Bibliophael

      Oh, yes, very good! I laughed out loud at that!

    • Dragon

      I don’t understand. Is that a Homestuck reference I have yet to come across?

  • Sciver

    Send her a vial of your very potent magically rejuvenating sputum.

    In a gesture of good will, follow her closely from the shadows to make sure she doesn’t get into any more trouble. discretely. without her ever finding out.

    Find her. Keep her safe. Follow her. For her safety. Don’t let her out of your sight. Watch her sleep in case she stops breathing, so you can resuscitate her… or convert her while she’s fresh anyway.

    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.
    Follow her.

  • Ensigngisne

    All of the good will and scrolls in Cyrodiil couldn’t make up for your running off on her. The most responsible thing you could do is deliver the gifts to her in person. Then she would know you cared past confections.

  • Vidiotdragon

    Possibly one of the more interesting necromancer’s I’ve seen.

  • PixelWizard

    Send her some bonemeal. Every aspiring wizard could do with bonemeal, and you no doubt have a large surplus just lying around.

  • justme

    EEEEEEEE!!!!! Last panel–so cute!

  • Do cats eat Dรฆdra heart?

    • Cruxador

      Obviously, yes.

  • Locke

    Dimitri: Exposit on this Baeralorn fellow. More specifically, exposit on how you hate him.

    Once again, only posting a suggestion here for kicks and giggles. If I could get my forum account to work, I’d put it in the suggestion thread, but, well…

  • shawnreed343

    Dmitri: Send her the Welkyn Stone to symbolize she lights up your life. Also realize you miss her. Begin to worry you might have feelings for her and don’t know her very well. Consider adding a P.S. to the letter that you would like to meet again sometime.

  • Ahz

    Dmitri: Check inventory of that little chest you’ve got in your tomb there.

  • CranialHeartache

    OH MY GOSH SO KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Tita


  • Soy Amada

    Sorry, I was wrong. Heart meat is not normally considered organ meat. The same way tongue isn’t a organ, it’s just a muscle. hxxp://

    • Kazerad

      Hahaha yess, I love when I accidentally give good advice.

      Not that anyone was choosing their kitten-care methods based on the suggestions of a fictional necromancer.

      • cake


      • Malefactor

        Fuck off! You know how long it took me to collect these fucking dremora hearts?!

  • Gradamit

    Dmitri: remember cats names and personalities

  • FreeGlass

    Wait, aren’t those kittens too young for Deadra Heart? I mean, it’s okay if you soften it for those older than 4 weeks, but…

    …Fuck. Paternal instincts.

  • Tormuse

    “Giving her a dremora heart might send the wrong message. Youโ€™re not entirely sure what message it would send, but it would probably be the wrong one.“

    Made me chuckle. ๐Ÿ˜€ He may be a bit socially awkward, but at least he has *some* awareness. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • PersonPerson

    Well I certainly like the path this is taking, with him having such a nice side.

  • SotiCoto

    He needs to send her TWO of each of the scrolls.

    That way she can duplicate whatever items she wants and get pretty much infinite monies. =3

  • dtlux14

    I love how this is turning out ๐Ÿ˜€