Aug 112011

Cobalt wrote:
Why don’t you mix up a gift-basket of several Restore Health/Magicka/Fatigue potions? The simpler ones aren’t too hard to brew, and any adventurer worth his/her weight in septims would never turn down such a practical (and thoughtful!) present.

Now that’s something you can work with.

You already have a decent selection of potions. You think you even have a basket in the other room. You easily could put together a thoughtful assortment specifically tailored to an aspirant mage. You could even pack the empty space with spare alchemy ingredients, in case wortcraft is something she wants to look into.

Two potions of spell resistance, one potion of healing, and three potions to restore her magicka? You wish you could include one to fortify her overall magicka reserve, but you simply don’t have the stuff to make it. Your friend Landorumil prohibits certain ingredients from ever entering these ruins, among them ginseng, nightshade, hyacinth nectar, and ginkgo leaves. The exact things you need, in other words.

Now that you think about it, you’re not sure it’s appropriate to send a bunch of bottles to someone who is possibly an alcoholic. There’s also a good chance one or two of the bottles would get damaged in transit. Still, the gift basket is definitely the best idea you’ve had so far.

Zetaphi wrote:
inspect your chest for better gift material.

Well, this robe was the first thing she went for when you met, but she didn’t seem to care for it much…

Zetaphi wrote:
no, not your chest, the chest in the corner

Ah! Your treasure chest! That makes much more sense.

You call it your “treasure chest”, anyway. It’s actually just full of old trinkets from earlier in your magical career. You really should have pawned them off by now, but they all carry a bit too much sentimental value.

But you could see yourself parting with one here, for the sake of apology.

Let’s see what you’ve got…

Your old Ring of Firewalking.

It’s an ordinary brass ring with a pretty basic fire resistance charm on it. Back when you were starting out with the Mages Guild, you had a bad habit of burning yourself with your own spells. This ring was probably all that kept you from just giving up. You doubt it would be much use to most other mages, though.

Your Amulet of Spell Reflection!

Not very powerful, but it was the first thing you ever had custom enchanted. When you moved to Kvatch as a teenager, you were scared to death all the other mages were going to pick on the new little necromancer. After you had this enchanted, you strode around confidently and made a big deal about it to everyone. No bullies ever did cast a spell on you, so you like to think the amulet at least worked as a deterrent.

Your Wand of Silence.

You don’t see very many wands in Cyrodiil. Magic users here tend to favor staves. This one saved your life on multiple occasions, possibly just because bandit wizards had no idea what it was. It’s been used some, but it still has a good eight or nine charges left in it. Of course, now that you know silencing spells by heart the wand is more or less obsolete. Someone with a habit of angering the wrong people would probably find it very valuable, though.

Aaaaand Mr. Scruffles! First cat you ever owned. You just keep him in the chest because he doesn’t really get along with the younger cats.

Not a chance in hell you’re giving The Scruffmeister away to anyone, ever. Even death.

However, one of your old magic items or a gift basket would be perfect to send with the letter. Showering her with gifts might give the wrong message, so you think you’ll just pick one of the four.

  • Codlike

    Hmm, did Katia even mention her other friends? Friends with Wrong Hands? Wrong Hands that something like these might be good to use against?

  • cake


    • Mouse

      Looooool. Oh you.

  • asdf1234

    Pick one of the four? Democracy will never work with this.

    • asdf1234

      Huh… I guess democracy really did work.

  • Crumplehat

    Countdown to Mr. Scruffles Dolls in 3… 2…

    Necromancers – best pet maintainers EVER.

  • Paradox

    The wand would be a nice gift, but knowing Kat she’d probably miss with it. Perhaps the amulet of reflection would be a good idea.

    • Zayle79

      The primary way Kat can restore her Magicka is by absorbing spells cast at her. She can’t absorb them if they’re reflected.

  • shawnreed343

    The amulet of spell reflection! It’s something you made, and homemade gifts count extra! Besides, sending a ring might give the wrong impression, and sending her your magic wand sounds like a risque joke.

  • Kazerad

    Still encouraging people to post your votes and commands in the forum thread! I try not to use commands submitted via the comments – especially votes, since the comment box makes them harder to count and easier to fraud.

    Of course, a lot of people who do vote will read the comments first, so still worth discussing here I guess. But remember to post in the thread to have it count directly!

    • Mouse

      I can’t log in there. I can’t seem to get them to email me a new password either. I had it reset, but it didn’t work.

    • Locke

      Same here. Absolute mess. And it’s a damn shame, because I follow other adventures as well. Would if I could. Sorry, Kaz. 😛

    • Herpa

      I cant get in there either. Which is a shame.

  • Merus

    If Kat gets into the World of Wortcraft, she’s probably not going to make much progress on her magical studies.

  • Armok

    … and now we know why he became a necromancer in the first place.

  • Halbean

    D’awwww, he loves his first cat to DEATH! That’s a lot of love there~ <3

    • Beat Bandit

      Only to the brink of, and then back from.

  • Psiana

    Aww, it’s too bad he won’t give him up. Having an undead cat as an animal companion would’ve been awesome.

  • Guy

    The amulet of spell reflection is probably a bad idea, she gains mana from getting hit with spells, right? I guess a basket with mostly magicka potions would be the best.

    • someotherdude

      You know that, we know that, but dmitri doesn’t.
      And for someone who isn’t an atronach, it’s the best gift from the stuff in the chest.

      Aside from mr. Scruffles, of course.

  • matty406

    Success, I have read up to the most recent update.

  • Zayle79

    Elder Scrolls lore question: does wortcraft require special skills, or is it just eating stuff?

    • someone

      It doesn’t require any skill. However, it depends on Alchemy, the amplitude of the effect is greater the higher your score. Also it does train alchemy, so just eating whatever random crap you find is a good way to become a master alchemist — but that’s not so much lore as the limits of a game system where food isn’t a survival necessity but some gameplay mechanic to get buffs.

      • Zayle79

        I know how it works in the game. What I mean is: Do you have to be trying to perform wortcraft to perform it, or is it done whenever someone eats something?

  • SoqWizard

    This guy seems like a nice person.

    • someone

      He is very nice — for a random cultist of a mass-murdering deluded psychopath who takes advantage of drunken women.

      • Soadreqm

        She only took advantage of a drunken woman ONCE! Also, a lot of the people he’s killed probably fought back, making it kind of like self defense.

      • Zayle79

        He’s not a daedra-worshiper, just a necromancer.

        • Zayle79

          Wait, no, you’re talking about Mannimarco, right? Yeah, he has the insignia on his robe. But he does seem pretty nice for a member of the Order of the Black Worm.

  • Gavinfoxx

    I would suggest the ring. After all, aspiring fire mages often have to worry about burning themselves, and a ring of some minor fire resistance will let her do some nifty tricks without hurting herself… the sort of thing that she could have lots of fun with! That would be a big ego boost for her, being able to wreath her hand in flame without being burnt and so on.

    • Sciver

      The pineapple trick ON FIRE for instance.

  • A person

    This guy is the nicest necromancer ever.

  • Aureal

    I’d go with the ring. We don’t want her catching herself on fire.

  • Araynn

    The ring of firewalking. She needs to additional protection, and as an atronach, she can absorb some spells for magicka. That would be more useful.

  • DeadEye Max

    amulet of spell reflection is useless when she desperately needs mana in a tense fight. ring of fire walking sounds like itll last longer than wand of silence and just more useful in general.

    (yay first comment)

  • Cyrus Draegur

    Firewalk. She has fire problems. And just because she’s resisting the damage doesn’t mean she’s necessarily resisting the *magic*! She almost did burn herself once. Maybe if she has any backfire with her fire spells, she could potentially recycle them? That’d be wonderful.

  • Mouse

    Send the ring as it will be easy to fit in an envelope with a note of apology. You should also include recipes for the potions she will need. This means you won’t have to part with your potions, and she can get some practice in with making her own.

  • Link

    Mr. Scruffles looks adorable =D

    I wonder if people’s meta knowledge is gonna make him send the only really useful item, the ring…

    • kiseki

      I hope not. I voted for the amulet in the command thread because it is the one most likely to be useful from Dmitri’s perspective.

      • FDJustin

        That’s what I was thinking, too. And likely the one that would prove the most likely to backfire, as is so fitting for this story’s style.

  • Moose

    Matter of factly, an excellent gift for her, would be a quill and ink.
    You had seen she seems to have a flair for writing, on top of reading you like braille…

  • The King of Spices

    She’s a new mage. New mages tend to start with fire spells. New mages also tend to have spells backfire. The Ring of Firewalking would by far be the best choice!

    Also, something tells me Katia might run into a few issues her first time trying to bake herself a cake. A few flammable issues.

  • Herpa

    Pick the potions. Whatever could go wrong?

  • justme

    I’m guessing Mr. Scruffles doesn’t get along with the other cats because he keeps trying to eat their brains. Introducing new pets to the household is always a challenge…

  • Your_Id

    What would happen if you slipped the ring onto the amulet? It does have a Drama Clasp, right? It’s expensive so it should have a drama clasp, and you’re a necromancer, so you should be impulsive enough to try this crazy and ingenious idea.

  • Sciver

    The ring. Fire resistance and jewelry at that. Girls like jewelry.

  • a smug altmer

    given what you already know about her, i’m surprised you’re even considering any of them except the wand of silence.

  • Viveka Sick-Fires

    I think you should give her the ring of fire resistance. If she does get drunk again, atleast she won’t light herself on fire.

  • Locke

    >Send the Ring of Fire Walking. After all, women love rings, right? Just make sure to include the basket of potions, with each bottle marked “NON-ALCOHOLIC”.

  • scruffy

    the ring give her the ring
    and god damn how long was the Scruffmiester in that chest for?

  • Sciver

    Perhaps some of your less than living…friends… have some fancy clothing or accoutrements they wouldn’t mind parting with.

    Not a belt though. No one pays attention to belts. It’s as though they’re completely invisible.

    How about a small dagger? Daggers have been as gifts to women for hundreds of years! And besides, given her magical needs it might be good if she had a secondary defensive tool.

    Or you could follow her to keep her safe.
    You could always follow her.
    You could follow her and be a silent guardian, and cleaning up the trail of bodies too.
    Following her seems like a pretty good idea.

    • R

      Following her seems like a creepy as shit idea, Give her the ring so she wont burn herself i say.

      • Sciver

        Someone has to provide the bad ideas!

  • Carbuncle

    Find fully illustrated edition of “The Lusty Argonian Maid”.

    • Locke

      Which is signed by the author and enchanted to prevent aging. It is your guiltiest pleasure.

    • matty406

      I think I see what you did right there.


  • RageMage

    We can only pick one of this four pieces of crap? Why are you being so tight, apologising to some skeletons?

  • Kreetn

    Don’t forget those welkynd stones! you never know when you’re going to be low on magicka, and it always helps to have one of those things on hand to CRUSH INTO FINE POWDER AND SNORT to replenish one’s magicka.

    …that is how you use welkynd stones, right?

    • chickenlord

      no there a anal pill.

  • Reynard-Miri

    I’d go with the gift basket. If would be useful is a wider set of circumstances, and the herbs might be constructive to her studies. But for the love of the Nine, do not include any catnip.

  • Cayteo

    If you like it, put a ring on it.

    If not, the necklace seems nice.

  • Well, a starting wizard is going to be using a lot of fireballs so the ring is good, and if she is an Antrinoch the amulet is worthless, though she could always sell it, and as for the wand, it’s better to have something you can count on to be ready.

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    • Alex

      Zounds! A spambot has breached our defenses!

    • Kazerad

      Oh, wow, how did I miss this back when it was posted? I took the link out of his name, he can just be a commenter with a very strange name now.

  • KBB

    >Dmitri: Give her the Ring of Firewalking and include a note explaining its properties.

  • B

    Amulet of Spell Reflection. She’s hardly a capable wizard yet, and the road is full of dangers. Why, other necromancers might jump at the chance to add another zombie to their entourage.

  • Rye_Dragon

    You might want to consider mailing that basket in person, even if you signed the letter, it would mean much more to her in person. Wait… how would you’re delivery cat know where to find her?

  • Shouta

    Just send it all and be happy with less junk taking up space

  • Calkhi

    I will say this once AND ONLY ONCE!
    Dimitri, I have been around a lot of love struck fools, so I know one when I see one and I think you, sir, have fallen in love.
    Now call me crazy but I think she would rather see you in person, besides…looks like you could do with a little sunlight. 😐
    Oh yea, and follow her a bit to be sure…might also give you time to reflect on what you would want to do.
    Or send the ring…BUT NEVER THE SCRUFFMEISTER! From what I can see, he wouldn’t get along quite well with Katia.
    ….I’m gonna go and sit in the corner wit mah srs faice on.
    *sits in corner wit srs faice on*

    • Norexicu

      gb2 the 34irc bro lol

  • Norexicu

    The ring is the best choice IMO. Taking into account she’s covered in soft, sweet, flammable fur, a gift involving protecting her from fire (anyone’s/anything’s fire) seems like a very good idea.

    Probably is me or my pyromaniac youth, but I wish I had a ring like that when I was lighting that molotov cocktail that backfired. Bad.

  • Alter

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    • Kazerad

      I should probably delete this as obvious spam, but there’s not really any links or even advertising in it? Even the poster’s name is completely ungoogleable.

      I guess it’s just the nicest robot. I’ll let him stay.

      • Link

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        • Tita


      • Tormuse

        Even machines need love! 😀

  • Cuon Alpinus

    This comic has introduced me to the magnificence that is Beltaine.
    I thank thee for showing me the way to musical enlightenment.

  • TechUnadept

    PURRRrrrrr is apparently cat for “Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!”

  • Tormuse

    I feel sorry for Mr. Scruffles, being confined to a treasure chest for eternity. 🙁

    Also typo alert: “Ah! Your treasure chest! That makes a much more sense.”

    Take out the “a”

    • Kazerad

      Damnit typos!


  • Rodrigo

    Second the ring. Seeing as she’s starting as a fire mage, not setting yourself on fire is a plus, as he said it himself. I hope it was what was picked since I’m reading the archives XD

  • Jessica U. Ingmann

    Okay. Dmitri is now my THIRD-favorite character. He’s so sweet! And proves just ‘cuz you’re a necromancer doesn’t mean ya have ta be a JERK about it. <3

  • Terry

    Hmm. Spoiler-ish comment for the end of the Dmitri arc here, but…

    All three of these items are just as dangerous to Katia as they are useful. No-win situation 🙁

  • Matt Smith

    This guy is pretty cool.

  • dtlux14

    hm… I’d go for the fire ring if I was him…

  • dtlux14

    Also, the cat in the chest is the best thing ever 😀 Not that it is a good thing to keep cats in chests, it is just funny…

  • Djinnfest

    “The Scruffmeister”
    That’s just adorable