Sep 052011

contemptibleComedian wrote:
why not just ransack the fuckin’ Mages guilds instead of selling it to them? In fact just ransack and take every shop or fence in the world, never buy anything.

“I’ve got to ask, though: why even bother finding and selling loot like this? You seem like an intelligent person. Couldn’t you just as easily break into stores, take whatever you need, and cut the money out of the equation entirely?”

The orc explains that such methods are not conducive to a long-term career as a professional highwayman. “You see a lot of amateurs running around with their little axes, trying to beat the money out of things twice their size. Most these amateurs get killed their first day on the job. Being a professional highwayman is all about safe investment, if you know what I’m saying. I’m saying I pick easy targets, don’t get too greedy, and – if guards corner me – I just surrender, go to jail, and break out later. Done right it provides a safe, reliable income. If I wanted to take chances, I’d just bet my money at one of the arenas. Well, the Imperial City arena, anyway.”

“Thanks for asking though. I don’t find many clients who are willing to critically discuss my business strategies! It’s refreshing. You know what, Robey, I think you just earned yourself both scrolls.”

Abominor wrote:
That’s fine Dimitri. It’s better than dying, right? Plus you still have those other trinkets in the chest.

Yeah, it really looks like there’s no way you can turn this around. There’s no way your bony necromancer arms could dislodge this sword, and no way your paltry spells could do anything besides make the highwayman angry. He’s right: there’s no sense in taking unnecessary chances.

But this isn’t all bad. You haven’t lost everything, and it will be easy enough to come up with a new gift for Katia. Perhaps you could acquire some lightning scrolls to help her if she’s ever in a position like this. With Landorumil out of the picture maybe you could even mix up some Magicka potions. You may have gotten robbed, but life will go on. Things will get better, they always have. The orc has no reason to harm you now that he has your money; he seems like a reasonable enough guy. Hell, he even seemed to appreciate that you were willing to talk about his “business” with him.

LemGambino wrote:
Gharug failed to mention Kvatch in his list of places to sell the ring. Ask him why.

Bibliophael wrote:
^ This must be done.

Which reminds you…

“You were saying you wanted to sell that ring at a Mages Guild, right? When you were naming the nearby guildhalls, I couldn’t help but notice that you skipped over Kvatch! It still has a Guild, and it’s just a couple miles to the east. I could buy the ring back pretty easily if you went there… and…”

“We don’t talk. About the fucking. Kvatch Mages Guild.”

Tiger86 wrote:
as you bring your sword back, swing the tip so it cuts his throat and watch him bleed to death, unable to scream.

“Four leaf clover!”

woopyfrood wrote:
Ring: Refuse to fit on Orc’s sausage-sized fingers.

“Looks like that sweet ring got stuck when I jammed it onto my beefy, sausage-sized finger. Figures that I’d have some bad luck today.”


    • Onifey

      NO!!! Not Dmitri!!! B-b-but.. who will feed the kittens!? T-T

      • Felipe058

        Life, uh, finds a way.

        • The kittens will eat each other until only one is left. Circle of life.

      • GentleCorgy’s#7COMBO

        Maybe the kitties will stumble across both dead bodies, cause that’s what they do, eat.
        Yeah cats can be viciously mean at times, where you ask why?

  • Faren

    Demetri: Become A nether lich and MURDER him. since nether liches are so hard to kill they are often bosses, he would win even if he sucks as a necromancer.

    • cyril

      super lame idea, people don’t just up and turn into liches without any preparation

      anyways strong fighters like Gro-Upp can easily do away with liches/netherliches
      they’re only truly a threat to mages due to their innate magic resist and spell absorb

    • Jacob English

      One does not simply TURN into a nether lich

  • GodotIsWaiting4U

    Dmitri: With your dying breath, cast so that you will raise yourself as a skeleton, so that we can then adventure with skeleton Dmitri.

  • Absalon


  • ClancyDamon

    Oh fuck you!!! Here I was overjoyed to see an update and you kill Dmitri!? What the fucking fuck!? I so god damned mad! And now I also hate Gro-Upp too! Fucking shit!

    • Some Git

      Cursing at an author on the internet? Oh, Gro-Upp, man. Seriously. That stuff’s embarrassing.

      • Friend

        Someones a little “Gro-upp”y this mornig.

        (fuck me, that pun was awful, some one find me and shoot me.)

        • Unholy D

          I kinda agree that killing Dimitri at this juncture for just MENTIONING the Kavatch Mages Guild is going too far for a guy that likes to make SAFE business choices. Kill one Necromancer and the Necromancer Guild kinda looks the other way (Hey, free reanimatable corpse!) but kill two and that makes it harder for them to keep applicants coming in and is an insult to the guild. Gro-Upp just pissed off an entire collective of Death-Defying Spellcasters. That’s not sound buisness planning in the LEAST.

          • Malefactor

            there is no necromancer guild, the closest thing is the order of the worm (which dimitri is in) which would not give a single fuck about a dead rank and file necro like him.

            Aditionally there is literally no way to pin this on Gro-upp, This could have been any one of the legion, mages guild, fighters guild, random bandits or even other non order necros.

            Yeah so. Logic prevails.

        • Malefactor

          You could say he needs to Gro Upp??

  • der




    oh god please don’t die

  • Cruxador

    What’s going to happen to the kitties?

    • IP

      Demitri: Raise self as Litch, Hug all kittens.

  • asdf1234

    ahahahahahahahah good joke ahaha

    no please seriously dont be dead

  • Reynard-Miri

    Dmitri, you get your dead ass off the floor this instant! What kind of necromancer let’s death stop him? A bad necromancer, that’s who! Now come on, we have work to do.



    OH GOD








    • Julienya

      I will have revenge for you killing my make believe boyfriend.

  • 1234asdf

    The right side of his neck was cut he can’t die from that right?


  • camp

    Dimitri: RISE UP.

  • Tem

    Oh hey look.

    The author *is* just a troll.

    Didn’t see THAT coming.

  • Mercenaryblue

    Dmitri : Hunt Orc forever.

  • McFrugal


    Kazerad, what was the point of us even switching to Dmitri? You offed him because TWO PEOPLE wanted to ask him about Kvatch, despite knowing full well that people don’t tend to react well to mentioning it. You do know that people TROLL forum adventures with bad suggestions, right? Suggesting actions for the villains to win, or purposefully saying to do stupid things? If you were going to make us fail by baiting the trolls with an obvious omission like that, what the hell’s the point of anyone other than trolls posting? If trolls get priority, we cannot win.

    • Kazerad

      My rule with following commands has usually been to follow the ones that make the most sense in the current context, and using majority rule where “makes sense” isn’t enough. Sometimes bait is used to elicit a command, or one of several possible commands.

      The model employed here resembles a collaborative story more than a game. There’s not really any notion of winning and losing – rather, there are only changes in direction. Dmitri died, but his actions determined many things – some obvious (e.g. the ring), some less obvious.

      As long as the end result is a good story, everyone wins! And as your Story Overseer, I’m doing my best to make that happen!

      • Bottle

        Well fine but for good story’s sake you better have a good death for that fucking asshole planned so it wont keep dragging on forever. Like what happened to Heroes because Syler never died and dragged the plot into the gutter. Just saying you shouldn’t let things get too convoluted by never departing from the original state of affairs in the story.

        And changing the status quo for the sake of progress is a good idea but i don’t feel we made any progress with Dmitri’s death.

        • Avi

          We got dramatic resolution to a conflict and a strong reaction from the audience, sounds like progress to me!

          • Bottle

            resolution to WHAT CONFLICT? the one about Katia and learning magic and the only reason Dmitri was there in the fist place? that didn’t solve anything. He died and all we know is something we already knew, that there’s some shit with the Guild on Kvatch that EVERYONE seems to know about except Katia and Dmitri even though he is a mage and should have known about whatever shit is going on, whatever the fuck it is.

            there is literally no resolution to any conflict whatsoever. In fact it was a step backwards, Katia can’t defend herself against the Orc whose name i forgot and is the cause of the whole situation she’s in right now.

            and as far as reactions from the audience go they don’t affect progress

            i call shenanigans and Dmitri is not dead or is a ghost or whatever

          • Avi

            resolution to the immediate conflict between Dmitri and Gharug, and set up for future conflict between Gharug and other characters.

          • polysyllabist

            I liked Demitri, we all did. But it was a wonderful death! Life doesn’t always work out the way you wish it, and I for one am thrilled our author is willing to do more than tell the story we want to hear. If things can go horribly horribly wrong, all the much sweater when they go wonderfully wonderfully right! Like when Katia discovered her latent beardiness!

            The potential for twists, unexpected calamities and sad outcomes really prevent the nice outcomes from feeling cheesy and predetermined you know.

            Nice knowing you Demitri : ) Bet. Kvatch. Screw up. Yet.

          • Skelatox

            Poly, as much as that makes sense out of context, in context, it is, very nearly, bullshit.
            While it is true that purely positive things can make an adventure boring, the same can be said of the reverse. Purely bad things, especially ones that are so clearly unescapable, are just as boring and predictable. As a matter of fact, Dolash predicted Gor-Upp getting all of the loot and killing Dmitri a few updates ago. The positive moments are few and far between, like your example, and the dinner NOT being a huge disaster, but they are outshadowed by the facts that,
            A. Gharugg now has invulnerability to Katia’s magic, and
            B. The fact that we were SURPRISED that Kaz didn’t screw us at the dinner.

            Also it is spelled “Dmitri”.

          • Rakyth

            >I for one am thrilled our author is willing to do more than tell the story we want to hear.

            Do you know what they did to people who didn’t tell the story we want to hear?

            “OFF WITH HIS HEAD!”

      • McFrugal

        It didn’t make sense, though. Dmitri, up until that point, had been meek and passive. A doormat. Upp had been all business, and enjoying the conversation, even going so far as to leave scrolls behind. Dmitri switched tactics suddenly without any justification (since he would’ve known that Kvatch was a bad subject, and there was no point in getting Upp to go there) and Upp reacted in an outright psychopathic manner- far worse than anyone we ever brought the subject up with- rather than a practical, sociopathic manner.

        So no, you didn’t pick what made sense or what had the majority. You just picked it because you wanted him to die.

        • Snowi

          Agreed. Upp’s change in temper was too strange.. Buuut we have no idea of his history with the Kvatch thing. There’s just not really any reason AT ALL for Dmitri to have mentioned it. So feels like Kaz wanted him dead and that’s that. Trolls didn’t help and probably Kaz had a shittty week, we’ll never know :3

        • Piip

          Well, actually, there were several reasons that can be deduced for Dmitri to mention Kvatch. For example, he would most obviously know his bearings around the town better. This translates into less time wandering around town and risking getting caught by guards. Also, it may also be the case that it is simply that much more convenient to travel to a closer and more familiar town. This is all on the assumption that he would want the ring back which is deduced from his desire to buy back the ring which he mentioned whilst in mid-sentence. Oh and just because Dmitri is familiar with the Kvatch Mages Guild to be a taboo subject, he may not have expected a random orc who isn’t a mage (not to mention relatively calm at the time) to react so badly to his inquiry. Or well, Dmitri’s brain could have had a severe meltdown at the time a sword was inches away from his neck, who knows. P.S. I’m sad Dmitri was killed too :’C

        • Trenton

          Dont you guys get it!? I know this comment is late but it must be heard! Kaz didn’t just randomly spawn Dmitri into this world without intention you know… The ring… THE RING! Remember the ring!
          It got stuck on Gro-Upp’s finger! Do you know what this means? He is now resistant to fire… Perminantly. See where im going? Katia wont be able to damage him at all now, not without a new spell. So this part is more meaningfull then you guys think.

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        We need an end to all this ambiguity, Kazerad. It’s haunted me for months now. Please either give us some real hope that Dmitri’s alive or fix the images so there’s a realistic amount of blood for a fatal neck-slice. Or find some door #3, I guess.

      • D’Varoc

        However, we already knew that Dimitri hated the Kvatch Mage’s Guild. It seems that he’d understand everyone’s mutual hatred for this establishment, and therefor not ask the question that so abruptly ended his life.

  • PlagueRat

    NOOO! Load the last save! God damnit

  • noooo

    no no no please don’t be dead

    oh god oh god MAKE BELIEVE TIME IS OVER

    there goes my happiness

  • keys

    Please just be a lot of ketchup, please tell me that Dmitri just keeps his condiments in weird places.

  • Laufente

    I dislike Tiger86 🙁

  • Link

    If Dmitri dies now that would mean that all these pages was only made to provide Gharug with a ring of Firewa…

    Oh, Khazerad… you evil person xD

    • Dolash

      I want to reiterate how much I *called it*.

      On the plus side, we were smart/lucky enough to pick the item that would least hamper Katia. The amulet of spell reflection or wand of silence would have completely negated any spells she could cast, while the ring only negates fire spells.

      On the down side, I would bet cash money Katia won’t learn any useful combat spell that isn’t fire based from now until she meets Gro-Upp.

      In fact, she might learn nothing more than the basic starter spells that an Oblivion protagonist picks up.

      • Some Git

        At least she has an axe now, though.

      • Riku8745

        Hopefully, by the time she meets Gro’Upp again, he’ll have sold the ring in some town. Or gotten eaten by lions. I DEMAND HE BE EATEN BY LIONS. LIONS THAT ARE DISTANT RELATIVES OF KATIA.

        • Link

          He can’t sell the ring… It’s now permanently stuck on his beefy, sausage-sized finger =P

        • Just-Shawn

          You racist.

          • Expresate

            Nope. Some Khajitt are born as lions. They’re weird like that. You’re either a house cat, a lion, a furry, less of a furry, or nearly human.

  • clock


  • NSK

    Well, at least now we now that Gharug can angered by mentioning the Kvatch Mages guild.
    Perhaps we will be able to use this to our advantage!

  • Bottle

    nonononononnono NO. dont you dare kill Dimitri he was, i mean he IS my favorite character ressurect him this instant

  • asdf

    Dmitri: Have your health reset because your cell is no longer cached.

  • Cullen

    pose like a horrified readership because shit just got real

  • Meh

    As much as I liked Dmitri, character deaths shouldn’t mean this much to you people in a “sort of on rails” MSPA. It was probably planned anyway.

    As for coming back as a lich, I don’t think Dmitri is anywhere near that level of capable of becoming one. At all.

  • TwilightNinja

    Dmitri: Just be shocked from the level of pain you are experiencing right now.

  • Madkat89

    Lol… this really hurt the comic fanbase more than anything, regardless what you’d like to think. Makes me wonder if we can all start calling for random LOL deaths in the suggestion thread. Hey, if one moron can do it so can we. Maybe even to Katia! 😀

  • justme

    well, huh. Guess that explains why all the gift choices for Katia (with the possible exception of the basket) were things that could render someone impervious to Katia’s spells were they to fall into the wrong hands. I’m still pissed, though. We had just enough time to really like Dmitri as a character before you went and offed him. Besides, what will happen to the kittens now?! THINK OF THE KITTENS, KAZ!!!
    In other news, you’re an asshole Kaz. I may still love you, and may or may not still be stalking you, but only a little bit now.

    If you kill Katia off, it’s over between us.

    Literally, since there won’t be an adventure to follow anymore.

  • Urist McDorf

    >character dies
    You guys are the worst audience.

    • Bottle

      >Character dies
      >it wasn’t the author who decided to kill him
      are you retarded?

      • Kazerad

        No, it totally was me. While readers drive the story, I’m still the author. You usually decide the actions, but the consequences are decided by me.

        I mean if I wanted I could’ve had Gharug say “Kvatch Mages Guild? I love the Kvatch Mages Guild!.” And then they make out.

        • Riku8745

          … Thanks, Kaz. The image of Dmitri, Gharug, and a skeleton all in bed together has now been irreversibly burned into my skull.

        • Loki

          “I could’ve had Gharug say “Kvatch Mages Guild? I love the Kvatch Mages Guild!.” And then they make out.”

          See, I like this option better. Can we please, PLEASE do this option?

          • Riku8745

            No! That is a terrible option!

        • Geary

          This is THE BEST IDEA

        • JohnTheFawn123

          Why did Dmitri have to die? It seems a lot of the audience really likes him, and are pretty upset about this.

      • Urist McDorf

        I meant some people immediately start accusing the author of being a troll, being the ungrateful bastards they are.
        Then again, maybe I just see people seeing conpiracies everywhere as I’m pretty tired of a similar issue with an admin conspiracy theory in one of the projects I’m working on.

        • Robert

          “…being the ungrateful bastards they are.”

          I like this story and this is a fine turn of events in my opinion, but the readership cannot possibly be ungrateful to the author. There are literally billions of possible ways to entertain one’s self at any given moment, the author ought to be grateful that so many people are willing to choose his/her story from that plethora of choice. If he or she stopped writing it, they’d simply move on to the other 999, 999, 999 choices of entertainment right at their fingertips.

          And as soon as the story ceases to be entertaining to them, the author should be further grateful that they care enough about his/her story to complain, rather than simply stop reading.

          • Urist McDorf

            While the author should be grateful that the readers, well, read his story, it does not mean that the readers are its main focus, and it most certainly does not mean that they can’t be ungrateful. Neither the author nor the readers are the “main” group in this relationship. The story is. It should be internally consistent and make sense, instead of just the author doing stupid (in-world-wise) things to please the audience, or, on the other extreme, him completely disregarding the readers and “writing for himself” (which is a path to the story just being the author’s preaching).

  • Lord Fagus

    Hahha! No fear!

    Dmitri is a master at playing dead!

    Right Dmitri?


  • William

    Dmitri –> Briefly cast plot device resurrection spell on you before you die.

    or if already dead,

    Dmitri –> Load previous save, before you put the ring into your letter.

  • Surrealities

    Why must you do this? Random killing of sympathetic characters is why I started to hate Homestuck.

    • It’s certainly not because he’s planned this out to some degree and only picks suggestions that work with the plot he’s come up with.

      So, let’s try and get Katia killed next? Might stop this awful thing dead.

      • ErrorVect

        How about because it was suggested :/

        • Unholy D

          Obvious Author Statement – Kazerad Said: “My rule with following commands has usually been to follow the ones that make the most sense in the current context, and using majority rule where “makes sense” isn’t enough. Sometimes bait is used to elicit a command, or one of several possible commands.”

          Obvious Author Counter-Statement – Kazerad Said: “While readers drive the story, I’m still the author. You usually decide the actions, but the consequences are decided by me.”

          Obligatory Follow-Up Inquiry – Which is it Kazerad? Do the readers control the story or are they entirely ignored in favor of you writing a web comic series that they have no control over?

  • Jebediah Oldenheimer

    >Everything that’s not that damned orc: Kill that damned orc.

  • Rage Mage

    Dmitri! Hurry up and resurrect your fat ass! Come on!

    …His dead, isn’t he?

    …Load game?

  • Cliff_Racer

    Four Leaf Clovers: Plot your revenge for being plastered to the orc’s body.

    • JohnTheFawn123


    • Wurm

      What cliff said, Also…

      HI CLIFF! 😀

  • ErrorVect

    Dmitri: Hear the distant cries of the Readers confirming you as a liked character. Use the small amount of Plot Armour gained to somehow not die.

  • Phantom Hoover

    Dmitri ;_;

  • mpuone


  • Will


  • Oremir

    Dimitri : Become cat food.

    • polysyllabist

      LOL. Wonderfully awful fellow reader.

  • Jonah Orion

    I’ve seen enough medico-legal investigations of death to know that a slit carotid artery will NEVER be an instantaneous kill, even to the weakest of victims. For a quick bleed out, he would not only need to have TWO or THREE incisions, but also a SEVERED TRACHEA.


    • Jonah Orion
      • TwilightNinja

        This is very nice to know! 🙂
        Though I’m not sure if the author will do much because of it. 🙁

        • Wind

          If you think about it, Gro-upp couldn’t have done major damage to Dmitri. The sword couldn’t have slit his throat without cutting off his jaw (referencing the smooth, single-motion pull from Gro-upp). If Dmitri died from getting a minor cut on his neck, then I have no idea…

          Damn. It’s late and I lost my train of thought. 🙁

          Dmitri, come back… you have a Katia to help. 🙁

          • >Dmitri:
            Get up, it’s ONLY A FLESH WOUND.

  • Duhad

    Another Necromancer: Oh my Dimitri seems to have been mortally wounded! I should heal him!


    • Nayoko_Ventila

      This, They must have other necromancers that know heal, or some kind of nurse for when the young necromancers screw up.
      Or, Have him quickly use a heal spell on himself, he might be in shock but i think the orc got distracted and left far too quickly to actually see Dimitri’s death.

  • Box


    • Avi

      heal =/= revive

      • Jonah Orion

        But he’s not dead yet :O

        • polysyllabist

          ~~I’m not dead~~
          What was that?
          Nothing — here’s your nine pence.

          • Anon44

            I feel like going for a walk!

  • eisiger

    Cast the Retcon spell before you bleed out.

  • SomeRandomNecromancer

    Guys, Guys this is Everscrolls and I think in oblivion they had some revival spells though this would mean katie has to venture out to get those spells and “glitch” her way into making a perma version of one then revive this character, though given how we had a big moral event of having a dinner party chances of that happening is unlikely. Oh well hope the Worm King* comes by looks at his dead followers and smack them with his skull staff and tells them that they are LUCKY that he came by to “Ask you something” Then enlist Dimitri on a task to find [npc] so that they can get extra corpses for the next party.

    *Not the oblivion Version he just some poser with a beginner revive spell.

    • Truant

      *Elder Scrolls

  • Ethan

    Dmitri: Die in a more embarrassing way


    Dmitri: Be Katia

    • Locke

      If I could post suggestions, my next one would be to suggest that Dmitri becomes some sort of Spectral guardian to Katia. That’d be awesome.

  • Smiles

    >Fans: Be mad.

    Seriously though, calm down a little. What’s done is done. Frankly, at this point I’d be more disappointed if Dmitri survived somehow – and not because I didn’t like him. Think about it: every risky situation after this just became more meaningful because now you know that the author isn’t afraid to kill a character if the situation warrants it. If likable characters didn’t die in situations like these, then they would be meaningless because you could be assured at every dangerous situation in the future that everyone would be fine because the author could just pull some deus ex machina bullshit.

    To provide an example: look at Dragon Ball Z. Most of the main characters of that show died, some more than once, yet they always came back sooner or later. Eventually, death and the threat thereof lost all meaning because you would know that even if someone died they would still likely be back in a future episode.

    Sometimes a little character death is a good thing.

    • justme

      I think a lot of people are upset because they spent a lot of time and put a lot of thought into writing suggestions, voting on actions, and pursueding other forum posters to see their individual viewpoints, all for a character that was apparently doomed from the beginning. Even though Kazerad has stated that the forum-posted commands do influence individual actions of the characters, some users feel like there is no point to posting, if it can’t affect the outcome or direction of the story. And they are entitled to feel that way. Could you call this a true user-input adventure story if there is an outlined story arc? Maybe not. But a lot of us follow HomeStuck, which isn’t really a user-input story, either. Were Kazerad to let forum-posts determine the basic direction of the story, he may well end up with an unweildy story arc that doesn’t ever go anywhere. Or one that goes in such a completely different direction, that it doesn’t even resemble the original idea anymore. AH’s adventures (back to MSPA again) didn’t take shape into actual stories (that had real endings) until he stopped accepting user-input (or at least started being choosy about which commands he would use), and it’s served him well. So, I understand why the posters are upset, but I understand the author’s side of this as well.

      And just for some background, this is all coming from a person who stopped watching Heroes because they killed off Kristen Bell’s character (then again, hers was the only character that I could actually stand watching anymore–but that’s off topic), so I do agree that Dmitri’s death is disappointing (and completely unexpected), but now that I realize that the decision to kill him off wasn’t actually based on a forum poster suggestion (it was just a coincidence that someone suggested as such–OR WAS IT?? KAZ??), I am less upset.

      whew! okay, i’m done.

  • Locke

    Dammit. You guys just HAD to get an interesting secondary character killed, didn’t you? If I could only have gotten my account on the forums to work… This is like Ruby Quest in reverse. All you forum-posters, please be more careful with those suggestions. 😛

  • Scy

    … You guys just pulled a Death Note…
    You killed off the most interesting character in the whole thing…
    Well, I’ve lost interest in this adventure…

    • Cliff_Racer

      Kazerad is actually everybody, just rapidly changing accounts and closing tabs.

      We are one. We are Kazerad.

      • Chris

        Joiiiin us. JOOIIIIIIIN UUUUUS!

        • Unholy D

          Now that you mention it, I wouldn’t be suprised in the least if Kaz didn’t have various internet access programs allowning Kaz to be multiple forum posters simultaniously resulting in Kaz taking Kaz’s own posts as those would be the “majority”.

  • no

    > Katia kill yourself. We all know this is how the comic is going to end. No point drawing it out any longer.

  • Riku8745

    Now that I think about it, Kaz probably just created the account and made the troll suggestion so that they’d have a reason to continue with the story the way it’s planned. I’M ON TO YOU, KAZ. I KNOW YOUR EVIL SCHEME.

  • Avi

    I can never remember if I’m spelling the orc’s name right

  • agog

    People are getting mad over this? We’ve been with this guy for a whopping 10 pages prior to this one. He’s barely had any development. All we really know about him is that he’s a necromancer who likes cats and has a thing for Katia, and now that he’s dead, suddenly everyone’s getting weepy and throwing hissy fits. Franky, I just don’t understand the backlash.

    • Geary

      What about the cats man!? THE CATS!?

    • AntagonyInc

      Dmitri is both a highly admirable character, his ten page spotlight spent working to try and reconcile what he has determined is a moral wronging in his book and willing to give up even an item of personal sentiment to try and make the apology official, and hes got a distinctly -humanizing- element about him. That is to say, he’s possibly the first human in the story that’s been really looked into storywise and the first one we can, as a reader, relate to.

      Think about it. The Human cast so far has been (In Order of Appearence), the Guard, Crazy-Knife-Lady, Lelles, Crazy Mage Guy, Trevaia, Capital S (Also known as Stranger, dangerous man), Orrin, Countess Umbranox, and Asotil (A Solider of the Imperial Legion). Three of these don’t even have names, and Lelles used all his screentime in a brisk story moment. Capital S and Asotil, charming as they are, are reserved for Comic Relief or Plot Progression, so that only leaves Crazy Mage, Trevaia, Orrin, and Umbranox. Crazy Mage’s involvement is arguably spent, Orrin had very little interaction, and we cas assume we won’t see much of Umbranox thanks to Katia’s condition. So Trevaia is the only human character we can humanly relate to.

  • Theta][Sigma


    LUK: 9999^99
    CHA: 100
    STR: 70
    WIS: 60

    • Theta][Sigma

      Level ?? Super Dick*

      Apparently bracket thingies completely omits the inserted text.

      • polysyllabist

        Born under the sign of the BOUSE

        • Unholy D

          Don’t you mean Sign of the Bro?

          • polysyllabist

            Bro is more of a class wouldn’t you say? And I’d dare say that while not all bros are born under the sign of the bouse, a frightful few are.

  • Thatfrood

    Gro-upp is so fucking great. I hope he mans the shit out of those highways.

  • The Arid Legion

    Thank God that’s over! Now we can get back to Katia and Asotil. I’m not all that happy about Gro-Upp getting the ring of firewalking though. I mean, Katia was finally making some progress and then you went ahead and took all that away.

    Hopefully the story doesn’t keep going like this.

  • scandoslav

    In retrospect, Dmitri was too boring and lame to live. Fuck that guy.

    • Anon44

      Denial is the first step in the 5 stages of grief.

      • scandoslav

        No it isn’t.

        • CheshireShadow

          It’s subtle, isn’t it?

  • FallenVerto

    Mr. Scruffles: After sensing the death of your master Dmitri at the hands of that orcish brute with the sweet abs, and tight but-ox you realize he spirit is fading from this mortal plane. Your only hope is to go fetch the welkynd stone with great haste and place it onto his bloody corpse lying upon the ground. Hopefully what ever power that stone holds may anchor his soul to his body long enough to recover himself or seek help.

    • Chris

      Seconded, this is a good idea. GO CAT GO!

    • FallenVerto

      => Dmitri’s soul is now anchored to the welkynd stone as a “Soul Jar”. Something strange is happening to Dmitri’s body.

      Dmitri: With a flash of brilliant pale blue light. You have awaken cold, stiff, and wet. Your hair is becoming frail and grey. Your skin is a dismal faded canvas of flesh attached to your body. Your eyes feel like they are on fire, but nay it is the painful transformation you are undertaking.

      What have you become?

  • butts.

    Dmitri: Be a ghost.

  • Well, this just fucking ruined my day. That’ll teach me to come here hoping for a feel-good experience. Congrats for making me care that much for random scribbles on the internet though, i guess.

    I hope the eventual payoff when the readers get to murder the bastard every imaginable way is worth it! Or maybe kaz will just let him win everything with a “note: katia died on her way to her hometown” twist. Who said we were in for a happy ending?

    • butts.

      There’s not a single doubt in my mind that’s exactly how this story is going to end.

      • polysyllabist

        *potential spoiler*
        Well, the story pretty much has to end with Katia in prison and meeting the Emperor right? It’s more of a question of what she accomplishes to get her there.

        • Wind

          And who says it has to end there? Hmmmmmm? (troll opinions do not count)

        • MindEqualsBlown

          We don’t know for sure that Katia is really the protagonist of Oblivion… Ideally that’s how it will all work out, but it’s still possible she’ll die in a ditch after a drunken orgy with a mudcrab.

        • butts.

          Are you implying Gro-Upp isn’t the hero of Oblivion?

          • Locke

            If that is true, I lose all hope.

          • polysyllabist

            Ah shiiit. Time to make Gro-Upp and do some Oblivion! Do it hard and get my Kill on.

          • Spatzist

            It’d explain how he’s able to surrender and go to jail – in vanilla Oblivion, that right is usually reserved for the Player Character.

        • Spatzist

          I’d sort of prefer it if Katia wasn’t the protagonist, honestly. I already know how Oblivion’s main quest plays out – I’m reading this because it’s a new, fresh story.

  • Riddles

    But he had so much to live for!

    Who will look after the kittens?

    • They have plenty of food for now.

      • CheshireShadow

        Yes, but after the corpses and each other (and possible spare dremora hearts), what then? WHAT THEN!?

  • Heritor Asphodel



    By the funeral pyres of the false emperor, you can’t let a measly Orc kill you, or even maim you.

    We are the destroyers! We are legion. We will send the enemy to hell, and worse!

    Enjoy your final hours Orc, the dark powers will raise their favored acolyte, and your suffering will be legendary!

    That ring was for a very special lady, and we, the untold horrors beyond time and space will tear it off of your stinking green hand and present it to our master as a gift from on high.

  • Urist McDorf

    Also I must say Gro-upp’s angry face closeup worked perfect for my forum avatar, as the eyes are directed right at the post’s text every time I post.

    • matty406

      I saw that bro.

  • David Lee

    Just because Hussie murders interesting and appealing characters pointlessly while wasting time with endless interludes doesn’t mean you have to spoil your story the same way.

    We’ll see where you go with this, but making this entire interlude completely pointless and irrelevant is kind of stupid and irritating and makes your comic less interesting to me.

    • Thunder kitsune

      I don’t think it will be pointless in the end, even if Dimitri doesn’t make it out alive!

  • Crumplehat

    This Panel:
    This Caption: “We don’t talk. About the fucking. Kvatch Mages Guild.”
    On T-Shirt = Win Forever.

  • Rhei

    O-Oh. That’s just sad.

  • Chicken lOrd

    Open console click on dmitri type “resurrect”

  • gooble

    i hope katia can find a guy who is interested in her but also not prone to dying 🙁

    i also hope that orc is beaten up by other orcs for reinforcing negative orc stereotypes. seriously, a highwayman who’s an orc?

    poor dmitri, he was a good man

  • Heliman

    >Dmitri: Become a Lich.


  • Chris

    Man, and Dmitri seemed like the perfect guy for her, too.

    Mostly because they’re both essentially helpless.
    Yeah, that’s it.

  • Chris

    Also, Dmitri> Become the Lich >KING<

  • gooble

    i hope dmitri isn’t being punished for liking katia 😐

    also ghourg doesnt seem like he’d get really invested in something like that, maybe he’s got the god of murder in him a little and it’s giving him the nutsos

  • SomeRandomReader

    Wait so NecrObama is dead. Dang, oh well with the alt title being “making the cat cry: The adventure” having doomed potential love interest would be certain. Clearly Katia is stricken with the Otacon Curse. Clearly what we should do is go see if we can get Katia cure of this before the katia gets too jaded of the playable cast being script murdered. We don’t want to lose potential tears now. Sad thing is this event causes no amount of tears unless the orc goes and tells her he killed a necromancer who had a letter for her and explain that the necomancer really wanted to meet her then we are right on track on breaking this poor cat lady heart.

  • SomeRandom\Necromancer

    Oh and I guess any chances of Unlife is removed because the scriptdeath inserted a Black Soulgem on him and cast soul steal Dimitri before his death, after which then said Soulgem was deleted and cats come in to eat his corpse so no trivial legit ingame logic can bring back Dimitri he gone for good now. So where did we left Katia off again?

    • butts

      is that really what happened or a game reference i don’t get, because i don’t see a soul gem

      • SomeRandom\Ent

        Well given that dimitri could’ve ghost and slowly was bleeding out the author Kaz must have added ingame scripts to make sure there no possible way to bring dimitri incase the reader sends katia over to quest over the world to find those revival scrolls/spells learn them and cast them on dimitri.

  • Guile

    Now now, guys, we the readers and Kaz the author have to work together to provide Katia with more interesting and powerful challenges to overcome (Or fail. Probably fail.). Without the trolls offering suggestions like this and Kaz being himself (herself?) we will never be able to grow as a community, nay, as a family (and get our daily dose of schadenfreude).

    • butts

      schadenfreude makes you fat and lowers testosterone production in lab mice

  • Viveka Sick-Fires

    Dmitri: Rise up
    Tis but a flesh wound, you’ll be fine. WHO’S GOING TO FEED YOUR CATS WHEN YOU’RE GONE? THINK OF THE CATS.

  • My Pants

    Please become some sort of skeleton zombie necromancer thing. Please please please.

  • Sephirah

    Oh god what will happen to the The Scruffmeister?!

    Mr. Scruffles: *becomes Necromancer and raises Dmitri to do his bidding*

  • Ticker

    Dmitri: With your final breath, use one of your scrolls to summon your own skeleton so that you might attempt to live to get revenge.

  • Gavinfoxx

    Well… that was the most interesting character thus far. I really hope he ends up alive somehow, otherwise I might, you know, stop reading…

  • Madkat89

    There’s no wishing Dmitri back alive; he’s dead. It’d look terrible on the comic to just resurrect him now.

  • ltdll

    Only goes to affirm that anyone who touches or is touched by Katia inevitably dies (if it’s not already dead like that skeleton.. eew). The narrative is strong, Kaz.

  • MangaManX

    As long as Katia comes out alright, I literally could care less what happens to everyone else. But as one of the few people who actually cared for her and wanted to help her out… I don’t think his story should end here.

    • Thunder kitsune

      I get the feeling his story hasn’t ended, just he has. Also kittens. Think of the kittens.

  • Zayle

    Wow. Didn’t see that coming.

  • Ixcaliber

    I’m just going to make a mental note not to mention to Kvatch Mages Guild again.

    Anyway as much as Dimitri was fun you don’t want too many secondary characters running around or you end up like Homestuck where the main characters get no attention ever. This story is about Katia and lets get back to her shall we?

    • Locke

      For every character in the story, we should go to the suggestion forum and make a post of composed of that many “Kvatch”s. Maybe that’d cause every character to spontaneously keel over.

  • Nayoko_Ventila

    There are so many people assuming that he died.. T.T Dimitri is my favorite character, he should heal himself, he had some potential. X3 Or someone else should heal him. Like anyone who heard the commotion, or has a scroll of cure light wounds, or a nurse or cleric of some kind, if they have those, whatever healing class they have in this game. X3

  • Thunder kitsune

    Katia: get a chill up your spine upon feeling something bad has happened. Or you just remembered something ‘about that night’

  • iMad

    watse of god damn time. if i wanted constant tragedy and interesting characters dying uninterestingly, i would read dostoyevsky. i can see this shit coming a mile away.
    gro-upp meets katia again, resists the one spell she can reliably cast, then rapes her. WHERE IS THE TRIUMPH, WHERE IS THE ADVANCEMENT. FUCK.

    >always wins
    >kills and fucks what he likes
    if i didn’t know better, i’d say gro-upp was a PC, which would be a nice twist.

    • iMad

      >correctly spell dostoyevsky for the first time ever, mispell waste
      brilliant. what a sterling day this is turning out to be.

    • Captain Honkbeard

      That’d be something, wouldn’t it?

      He’s optimized for his style of play. He doesn’t take unnecessary risks and has a system that nets maximum profit for minimal effort. He’s crazy for stacking stat buffs. He’s utterly amoral as long as there is no threat of punishment looming over him. He’s jovial and detached from the brutality of his actions.

      He seems to be some kind of lazy Melee/Thief powergamer – constrained by morality only when convenient and driven by greed when loot makes itself risk-free.

  • Kreetn

    => King of Worms: enter dramatically, resurrect peons and command them to clean up their own blood.

  • Kreetn

    stupid question: how do i get a little avatar thingy to show up here next to my posts?

    • Nayoko_Ventila

      i wonder about that too

    • Locke

      Sign up on the Gravatar website thingy.

  • Fieron

    >Be Dmitri’s kittens

    Kittens: heal your fallen master, so then he may come back to life and become CAT WOMAN

    • Locke

      Dmitri: After this resurrection, be very badly written and speak mostly in cat-puns. And for the love of god don’t wear skin-tight leather/rubber/latex.

  • Rye_Dragon

    Can’t you necromancers resurrect yourselves?!

  • Childish Gambino

    I liked Dimitri a lot, and even though Gro-upp was a total dick here, I just can’t help but love his character. He is the most consistently hilarious character on here and he never fails to surprise me. I have no doubt that he will get his comeuppance eventually, but I really want him to keep showing up at the worst possible moments to mess everything up. It keeps this story exciting!

    • Unholy D

      Exciting if you like seeing the worst possible scenario playing out in front of your very eyes. That’s like going to a NASCAR race simply for the fact that you want to see someone wreck and either be maimed or die (RIP Dale Earnhardt). That’s not exciting, fun, or even remotely entertaining unless your definition of a night-out-on-the-town is running around with a Satanic cult cutting the heads off of school children while they sleep in their beds.

      • :D

        Wait, people watch NASCAR for the racing?

        That’s like saying people watch Hockey for the goals!

  • Bullshit.


  • Folikeln


    Dmitri: please don’t be dead.

  • Lanny

    Well, if you can’t turn into a nether litch or skeleton and exact revenge. You could at least try and haunt him right? If he can’t see you, eventually he might walk by someone who can and you could tell on him! If he CAN see you could harass him lots, that’ll show him :O!

    • Lanny

      And oh noes! What about your CATS Dmitri, you can’t leave this mortal coil without providing a home for them first! I mean, people seems to stay as ghosts for all sorts of much lamer reasons! You have a just cause ;o!

  • FDJustin

    3 seconds of video. That is my response to the latest developments.

  • En

    >Transfer your brain into one (or all) of your cats!

  • iMad

    >orc sinks ships, crushes fantasy and happy endings
    >is named gro-upp
    >grow up

    oh is THAT HOW IT IS??!!

    well, them’s FIGHTIN’ WORDS, KAZERAD!!!

  • Dmitri
  • Remmylyne

    This has turned into a SADventure. :<

  • nopenopenopenope

    Now just kill Asotil and I’m officially out

  • Tiger86

    Sweet! I got Dmitri’s throat cut!

  • 663


    – Black Dude Dies First

    • Kazerad

      is the elf not even a person now? ;-;

      • Not Dracula

        Elves were never people.

        • 663

          elves don’t die, their essence simply returns to the elvenmind

      • 663

        also superb evasive manouvre but the elf wasn’t a foreground character

        black guy was there from the get-go, had four strips, and died first.

        if you count the elf you might as well count the corpses the guard hauls in during the dinner, or the mudcrabs, or something

  • FDJustin

    Hmmm… Katia has had increasing luck since sleeping with people. I mean, sure, bad things happened when she slept with the orc, BUT those bad things paved the way for much gooder things.

    … After that, she slept with our dearly departed necromancer. Her luck got much better, while his got much worse. It might just be that Katia is some sort of luck succubus, and the only thing keeping Gharug alive and in good luck right now is his growing four leaf clover shirt.

    Speaking of lucky, cutting down necromancers must have surely given Gharug’s blade a free dose of necroaids or whatever the bottle of cure disease was left for.

    Moral of the story: If you want a character to survive, they must either never get intimate with Katia, or she must accidentally gift them back their stolen luck by means of a four-leafed clover.

    • CheshireShadow

      A luck succubus?
      … That has got to be one of the most disturbing and somehow amazing ideas ever. o_o
      (Poor Dmitri, though.)

      • Alex

        A LUCKUBUS

  • hmmm

    So, has anyone noticed that he doesn’t have a pool of blood around him, even though he supposedly bled out? Not only that, but we linger on him for 5 panels, and *no* blood on the front of his shirt either despite him clearly leaning forward. I think he just passed out from fear/shock/whatever.

    • CheshireShadow

      Maybe the wound is really shallow? I got cut on the neck by my dog once but it stopped bleeding and I’m commenting*. It looks like he stopped bleeding after the first gush so maybe he’s a) more anemic than a dengue-afflicted blood donor, or b) still alive.

      (live, damn you, live!)
      *Judging from sudden increase in sensitivity to all light and heat from that point, may or may not just have turned into a lich without noticing.

  • Pogiforce

    But wait, how does “makes sense’ works here? WHy would Dmitri even suggest Kvatch Mage’s Guild when not too long ago he reflected on how he despised them terribly and would never suggest them. to ANYBODY.

    Why would he do that now, facing down a dangerous orc bandit, where he would be forced to GO there and PAY them for his stolen property? Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be for him? I mean really this move just seems like another excuse to do the already boringly over done “we don’t talk about Kvatch” nonsense.

  • Khajiitri Martin

    If you killed Dimitri, I will find a way to reach through my screen and strangle you.

    Oh, it’ll happen.

  • Amber




    I’m literally at a loss for words, there are just so many FEELINGS. The only way I can sum this up right now is “GHFJDGHFEIJGFEYGYEGYUDGYDFUUUUUUUUU-” This isn’t a thing that’s happening right now. It. Just. Isn’t.

  • Grey Acumen

    So much butthurt in these comics that I can hear the sirens of the Waaahmbulance coming already.

    It really is a testament to the story telling and character design that people have this intense of a reaction to Dmitri being killed.
    There are a few things that went through my mind once this happened –

    1) What about Dmitri’s kitties? This makes me the saddest.
    2) Damnit, guys, why did you have to ask about the Kvatch Mage Guild?
    3) This spells definite problems for Katia as Gro-upp is now armed against her best offensives. The inevitable loss will surely be a huge blow to her confidence once again.
    4) Dmitri was shaping up to be a really decent guy overall, and I wouldn’t have minded seeing him get his friendship on with Katia. But that would have been a nice turn for Katia, and honestly this just can’t happen, no matter how much I may love her.
    5) He isn’t necessarily dead. He wasn’t bleeding out, (though that may just be an art direction choice) and he does have a healing spell available. But seriously guys, there can’t be any twist later down the road where Dmitri unexpectedly returns to life (or undeath) if he straight out does it right in front of us now. Leave a little room for drama, maybe he comes back and maybe he doesn’t, but not knowing is what makes it matter. Not being assured victory is what makes it a true victory, even if it doesn’t work out perfectly as we hoped.
    6) Gro-upp is a villain. Sure he may have killed the guy out of hand, but now there are no witnesses. When you’re just some random traveler, it’s not a big deal to leave someone alive, but when you’re part of a group organization, it’s actually far better if you don’t leave behind people who can talk and bring that whole group down on you. (theoretically necromancers could try to bring him back to get that info, but that’s only provided they feel motivated to find out and don’t just brush his death of as one of those things that happens.
    I hate him, but I love to hate him and can’t help but respect his general competence and efficiency. That’s the type of thing that makes a good villain, and also makes for a villain that is VERY hard to kill. I don’t expect to see this guy truly get his comeuppance except in very small doses where he escapes without getting what he REALLY wanted, but still keeps his life and continues his plunders undaunted.
    7) Holy crap this was well played. Excellent use of magician-like audience guidance to allow them to make choices, but still get the desired results. Well disguised rails make for the best stories (compare HL2, which is SO on rails, to any type of sandbox game and HL2’s story will always come out looking better)

  • Malconvoker

    Dmitri: Discover that one of the random diseases you were carrying was Porphyric Hemophilia and rise from the dead as a vampire. Being killed counts as sleeping right?

    Yeah, this comment will never see the light of day but hey, I think that would be a pretty cool since Dmitri was a pretty cool guy.

  • Malefactor

    Dimitri: be ressurected by the order as a undead vengence seeking lich and swear bloody vengence

    Gro-Upp: become nemisis of lichmitri, have huge epic struggle in background of katias quest.

    • CheshireShadow

      Another one of the most disturbing and brilliant ideas I’ve seen on this page alone!
      (Seriously, though, that’s a ridiculously awesome idea.)

  • Escarstop

    /casually cries forever

  • wuzup

    Honestly? Dmitiri was my favorite. YES EVEN MORE SO THAN KAT! He was oddly innocent, despite his actions. It’s like those folks that have no social skills….he was just a complete mirror of poor Katia. They’re both nice, both magic users (Yes, he is seemingly better, but still) and both seem to have interesting vices (Alcohol and cats).

    And now I am the sads…maybe we’ll see him stitching his neck up in a few pages…I don’t know…

  • chibi_mewmew

    Dimitri: Be Cat-Woman from the old Batman movie and have all your cats donate a life to you, thus giving you nine-life immortality. Then go swinging around in sexy black leather and


  • SpazzyHyena

    Katia: Do the corpsekiss. ;w;

    • CheshireShadow

      What’s a corpsekiss?

  • AntagonyInc

    I don’t want Dmitri to die. I really don’t. He was just an innocent sap with questionably conflicting morals, and his entire brief existence in the spotlight was spent trying to right what he had determined was a wrong – The very thing we connect with Katia for (Trying to right the wrong of her past)

    It is unfortunately unlikely that Dmitri survived this encounter – Logic, reason, fan wanton, and hope aside. I really hope he did. He’s a surprisingly likable character.

  • Chitin

    This comic has been full of occurances that have had less than satisfactory (yet usually hilarious) outcomes. I don’t have any trouble laughing it off when Katia suddenly fails for no reason, but Dmitri’s death bothers me. I don’t like it.

    Maybe one of his buddies will reanimate his corpse into a zombie kitty butler or something, but it’s sad to see him go.

  • Nexers

    Oh i oozed disappointment. OOZED.
    This bothered me more than i’d really care to admit.

    Don’t be dead Dmitri -sniffle-

  • Tormuse

    Nice twist there, Kazerad! I’m really loving this story so far and I’m hoping to be caught up soon so I can add my own suggestions. (Curse my slow reading!) And since you said earlier that you appreciate people helping with typos:

    “Hell, he even seemed to appreciative that you were willing to talk about his “business” with him.”

    It should be either “seemed to appreciate” or “seemed appreciative”

    • Kazerad

      Typo shot down, thank you!

      I’m always really surprised how long these things go unnoticed – both by me and most the readers. At least I hope it’s been going unnoticed by most the readers, because otherwise that would be extremely embarrassing.

      • Tormuse

        Grammar alert:

        Under the first panel, “Most these amateurs get killed…”

        I believe it should be either, “Most of these amateurs get killed” or “Most amateurs get killed.”

        I’m hesitant about pointing this one out because I notice that in your above comment, you used the phrase, “most the readers,” twice so I’m not sure if this is some kind of intentional stylistic choice of yours or something.

        • Kazerad

          The “of” is probably technically correct, but it’s a common omission in spoken English. I’m content with it as is. Thanks for keeping an eye out though!

  • A new reader

    I am so sad to see Dmitri go, i was really starting to like him, in the brief time we knew him.

  • JustSomeRandomGuy

    I hate Dmitri’s death just as much as the next guy.
    BUT, that was quite a facial expression on Gro-Upp just before he killed him.
    Also, due to the whole necromancer thing, Dmitri might not stay dead. He better not, anyway -.-

  • Lexicon

    I will agree that it was reasonable for the orc to kill demitri though it makes me sad. However my sadness stems not from liking the character personally, but from the fact that what looked to be the start of a very interesting and intriguing plot line I would have loved to see continued was cut short.

    Either way, I salute the author, Keep up the good work!

  • Righteous Almond

    To the person who issued the command to slit Dimitri’s throat: Thanks for killing my favorite male character, you dick. -.-

  • AlternianArmy

    Fuck. I can see where this is going.

  • Foxaloo

    Imma frackin kill Tiger86.

  • RCN


    First time poster. Dimitri was interesting, but I don’t really see the storytelling point of killing him BEFORE he made an impression and had his arc with Katia unless you just wanted to make this bleak nihilistic statement with him.

    I’m savvy about writing techniques. Dimitri, much like Alyx from HL2, seemed positively engineered to farm reader/player empathy. An idealistic and somehow naive cat-lover who is the only character in the comic so far to show any sort-of-healthy romantic infatuation with our down-on-her-luck protagonist? His life expectancy was short from the get go, but the way he died he didn’t cause more misery for Katia. She doesn’t even know it happened. She didn’t even know him properly. (Yes, I predict the same fate on Alyx if Valve EVER continues that story) So his death had no impact emotional impact whatsoever in the main story.

    As I said, the only reason to kill him BEFORE that from a storytelling point is to make a bleak nihilistic statement. And that is just depressing for the sake of making people depressed coming out of nowhere. This comic is cruel, but it usually errs on the side of dark comedy without ever really getting bleak.

    Hmmm… ok, carry on them. But keep doing this kind of stuff and you’ll just drive away readers. Not because we can’t stand feeling bad, but because this feels manipulative. Doubly so.

  • Trenton

    Dont you guys get it!? I know this comment is late but it must be heard! Kaz didn’t just randomly spawn Dmitri into this world without intention you know… The ring… THE RING! Remember the ring!
    It got stuck on Gro-Upp’s finger! Do you know what this means? He is now resistant to fire… Perminantly. See where im going? Katia wont be able to damage him at all now, not without a new spell. So this part is more meaningfull then you guys think.

  • omegatripod

    I just started reading this yesterday. Just caught up to the latest update. And I am fucking pissed. Kazerad, that’s not what makes a good story. That’s not a good plot twist. It’s a complete dick move. You built up this likeable character, when without warning, killed him brutally in a situation where the audience wants him to escape. And for what? To give the orc the ring? He could have just taken it and left, without killing off Dmitri.

    I don’t wan’t to see anybody whining about how “it’s a collective decision-making process” or “the author didn’t do it,” because that’s bullshit. Kazerad has repeatedly demonstrated his ability to ignore or shoot down bad suggestions. It is the author who decides which suggestions are taken and which ones aren’t.

    Why did you do this, Kazerad? To pull a Joss Whedon and make people say how witty that is? It’s not. It’s a slap in the face to everyone who cared about Dmitri. Shame on you. I expect more responsible and considerate writing from you in the future. Don’t fuck up like this again.

  • Spatzist

    It wasn’t pointless – didn’t you wonder why all the items he had to give away were specifically good *against* mages, but not necessarily useful *for* them? This was all done to equip the orc with defenses against Katia’s newfound magical powers. That said, the ring of fire resistance still worked out to be the best option – it only helps him against one element, and doesn’t stop Katia from using any other magics she may have figured out on her own.

  • nic

    i was hopping Katia would accept being Dmitri’s apprentice.
    she would make such a cute little necromancer.

  • Dray


    A few pages of pseudo character development and we have people rooting for a necromancer. An “I love dead things and my best friend is a zombie cat” necromancer.

    So he likes kittens? This is a redeeming value just by itself? By all accounts he feeds them a steady supply of daedra blood. I’m no demonologist but there can’t be good long-term consequences to a sustained diet of demon blood.

    And Katia? There seems to be an underlying assumption that she would overlook his inherent creepiness (dungeon dwelling necromancer) and specific creepiness (zombie cat and literal necrophile) because he has the warm fuzzies for her. When in all likelihood he was a regrettable drunken one-night stand that she wouldn’t have to see or hear from ever again. Until recently he wasn’t a name or even a face, just a response to “can my life get worse than getting drunk and waking up in bed with an orc?”.

    So yeah..surprising how quickly that all gets a pass.

  • that why didnt Dmitri cast the blindness spell and posion clould that would have worked

  • Cracked

    I remember the first time I read this it shocked me because of how light hearted the scene was, but looking back, yeah, this was brilliant. Dmitri pressed his luck, the orc killed him, and no one acted out of character.

    Honestly, The story makes it clear almost from the beginning that Gro-upp won’t mess around, he likes to play the long game ,but he will always take the easiest, most risk free path, getting Dmitri killed was our own damn fault, it sucked, but it fit the story perfectly.

    • Alex

      I just thought of something. Dmitri was trying to pull one over Gro-Upp! He knew that




      But it failed because the orc DID know this about her.

      • Alex

        Argh I guess I needed a line break or two there after all.

        I just thought of something. Dmitri was trying to pull one over Gro-Upp! He knew that


        SPOILERSSPOILERSspoilersSigridisaHUGEWITCHBLUHBLUH,thatthieorcprobablydidn’tknowthisashewasn’tamage, andwantedhimtotrytosellhisstufftheresoSigridwouldrobhimblindspoilersSPOILERSSPOILERS


        But it failed because the orc DID know this about her.

  • GreatFairy

    Damn, I was hoping he might become a regular character. I liked him. Oh well.

  • Jessica U. Ingmann

    !!! No!! O.O Oh GOD! Dmitri!! *Sobs* I actually LIKED that orcish bastard until he did that to Dmitri… ;.;

  • Worm Anchorite

    God damn it… Gro – Upp! Why you all of a sudden stop being funny?!?!!!
    Finally a god damn Necromancer and then just fudghfhugrygfefbjksdncdg……!

  • Syvar

    I hope Katia goes dungeon diving, finds the two corpses and reads the letter. Dmitri is still dead, but I’d feel better about it.

  • Lineo

    oh no why 🙁
    i think i speak for everyone when i say
    that people started liking dmitry and then
    you let him simply die.i hope he ressurects.

  • doop

    Just when I was starting to like this comic.
    Guess Ill just have to take a break until I feel less bitter about this…

  • JEiK66

    This is the saddest update in the comic. (cries)

  • Dagda Mor

    He’s living in a necromancer compound, so it still might be possible that we’ll see him later in the story as a lich raised by one of his friends. I’m not holding out hope, though. He would have been really useful for dealing with Katia’s problems in Kvatch.

  • Grayven

    and I’m now bummed thanks to the death of Dmitri.


  • MelMel

    You know, at least the letter didn’t end up getting somehow delivered in spite of Dmitri’s death. Could you imagine that? Katia gets it, and gets so excited that she’ll finally be able to learn real magic, and ends up going to the place and seeing him and someone else just dead on the floor. It would not be very encouraging for her, heh.
    sincerely, -a bit late to the party

  • Matt Smith

    Tiger86 is such a ass

  • PersonPerson

    Last page I was really starting to hate that Orc.

    Now I am really starting to dislike that Orc.

  • FrenzyFirenze

    Okay, so fuck Tiger86…

  • Dan1

    THIS is the reason I read this webcomic. Kaz has Balls (sorry if you’re a girl Kaz) too often there’s always a way out, too often the bad guys never win, too often there’s a magical Deux ex machina (sp?) that saves the day. Dmitri is dead. and without warning. the plot has twisted. and now unless Kaz wants to be a complete disappointment the only going back will be in memory, and perhaps the ring.

    Long live the author who breaks the mold and shatters expectations.

  • feithne

    hi, first time reading through the story and i gotta say its super-awesome! it can be deep and emotional at times and make me laugh out loud on the very next page!

    i noticed towards the top of the page what i believe is a typo (and you seem to encourage these to be pointed out so): it says “The orc explains that such methods are not /conductive/ to a long-term career as a professional highwayman.” i think instead of “conductive,” you meant to write conducive?

    i cant wait to catch up with the story! 😀

    • Kazerad

      Oh crap, you’re right! D= Somehow that typo went unnoticed by tens of thousands of people for two years. But thankfully, never again, as it has been eliminated! Thanks.

      And I’m glad you’re enjoying the story! Don’t catch up TOO fast though, I’m still writing it!

  • coke

    Damn, I thought Katia would have a love interest. Just what she needed.

  • Bc

    I was reallly liking dmitri…

  • MentallyUnstable

    Oh for fucks sake someone just kill that damn Orc already.

    Wheres my Akavari katana. I am a six foot 250lb blackbelt martial artist with 20 years experience in hand to hand combat, swordmanship and various other melee weapons.

    Its go time.

  • So Upp kills him for mentioning the Kvatch mages guild, which is “blacklisted” because they practiced necromancy.

    Yet, upon seeing a guy summoning a skeleton to kill him, and wearing Order of the Worm robes, he sticks him to a wall and has a conversation with the necromancer. And then kills him for mentioning a place which used to do necromancy.


  • Mzuark

    Well great, I was really hoping he’d become Katia’s boyfriend or something. I mean damn, he seemed promising.

  • Tei’lien Raektan

    Noooooooooo! Damn you orc!

  • dtlux14

    No, f*** you, get up right now and go see Katia, you have to help her.

  • Dragon

    The complete lack of comments proclaiming the survival of my second-favorite character is deeply disturbing.