Sep 092011

Kajet wrote:
You probably should let Asotil set the amount of conversation and any singing for the trip

ArcheKruz wrote:
>Katia : Ask to ride on the horse with Asotil

–Jiub gibbed the creatures justly just because they were such dicks
For every racer seen today Saint Jiub has slain six!

The savage mer among the cliffs would hear no beating wings.
Now every man and beast and elf in celebration sings:

He stopped the wing’ed ne’er-do-well
Threw every star in Tamriel
And made a safer Vvardenfell
For Dunmer and their kin!

When the priests said killing fliers was poor reason to anoint
Jiub jumped and punched an eagle just to prove a fucking point:
That things that flew above the land could not be left to live
That birds may flap and bees may buzz but both would fear Saint Jiiiiiub!

Cyrodiil holidays are really weird. You thank Asotil for teaching you the song regardless.

He says it was his pleasure. Saint Jiub’s Day is his favorite holiday, since it’s one of the few that celebrates the proper use of Excessive Violence to triumph over the Forces of Injustice – in this case the Forces of Injustice being anything that violates the Levitation Act by flying higher than twenty feet. The Saint Jiub’s Day festivities aren’t bad either. Some cities spend months preparing for the celebration; hiring entertainers, building Cliff Racer kites, and stockpiling fireworks to Deliver Justice to the aforementioned kites. Truly the greatest celebration Tamriel has to offer.

You tell Asotil that your favorite holiday was always Tales and Tallows.

I mean, I never really did the candy thing. But every year when I was younger I’d beg my parents to take me into town for Tales and Tallows. The Mages Guild did this sale where everything was half-off that day, so I’d spend a year’s worth of allowance getting the cheapest magic wand I could find. Usually a Wand of Light, and I’d usually run it empty before I even got home. My parents always thought it was a dumb thing to spend money on, since I could already see in the dark. I mean, I guess they were right, it was kind of pointless. But it was the magic of it. They never really understood. It was really special to me.

And now… well, I guess that old flame is still there. I don’t know, it’s a little funny. When I came to Cyrodiil I was sort of trying to leave everything about my old self behind, get new interests and everything. Sometimes… I guess I’m not even sure that’s what I really want.

epoxy wrote:
I get the suspicion that ASOTIL may have a checkered past, maybe even a plaid one… but WOWEE has he ever reformed! Maybe you could learn something from him. If it doesn’t seem too personal, ask him what his life was like before he joined the Imperial Legion, and whether he had problems controlling his aggression and strength-enhancing-drug intake.

Sorry, I’m rambling here and not really thinking. What about you? I mean, what were things like for you before you became a soldier? If you don’t mind me asking.

Asotil says he was always a soldier at heart, even before he was given the Honor of joining the Imperial Legion. He’d roam the countryside, righting wrongs and standing up for Those Who Could Not Protect Themselves.

Of course, he wasn’t always the Spotless Example of Impeccable Lawfulness he is today. Several times in his checkered past he even had to arrest himself. That is, he would break into prison and stay in a cell until an authority figure ordered him to leave. But he always made sure Justice was served. Indeed, even the Good are not above the Law.

Armok wrote:
> Katia: consider joining the IL

You chuckle at his dedication, but say that it does sound like a fun life. So what’s it take to become a Legion soldier, anyway? I mean, sorry about all the questions, I just really don’t know where my life’s headed right now. I guess everything’s an option.

Asotil warns you that it can take years of training, especially here in the Heart Of The Empire. More remote garrisons are generally happy to accept Prospective Legionnaires, but in Cyrodiil it remains one of the most selective forces – second only to the Emperor’s Blades themselves. But if you feel the draw of Legion service, he is sure that with dedication, exercise, and a proper diet you could make your way in. Soldiers skilled in magical combat can even be taken on as Battlemages. He encourages you to speak with one of the Legion Commanders if you’re interested in service.

I don’t have to talk to the Emperor or anything?

For Legion service? Asotil tells you it’s not required, no.

You mark the Imperial Legion down as a serious possibility.

Godbot wrote:
> Back to encouraging a cat not to cry

What? Why would you cry? This is one of those rare instances where it feels like the whole universe isn’t trying to make you miserable. You’re finally going to make it to Kvatch and deliver Quill-Weave’s letter, and this time nothing is going to stop you! You’re perfectly safe as long as Asotil is watching your back, and if you can get a magicka charge somewhere, you’ll even be able to defend yourself! With MAGIC!

You feel pretty good. Things are actually going your way for once, and you see no reason to believe that’s going to change.

Zayle79 wrote:
Katia: While on the road, look for flax seeds and steel-blue entoloma caps.

You aren’t quite sure what those look like, but you nabbed a couple plants while Asotil was off delivering Pre-Emptive Justice to some wolves. If Gharug took the plants you gathered last time, they must have been at least somewhat valuable. Maybe selling this stuff could help you get started off in Kvatch.

JJA wrote:
Ignore – repeat, ignore – that thing that looks suspiciously like a hip flask on Asotil’s mount.



But yeah you actually are kind of thirsty. After your last trip you really should’ve remembered to bring a canteen or something this time. You’d ask Asotil to swing by a tavern, but you’re kind of worried that that might end poorly.

A while back you did pass someone selling ice cream, but it was nothing you could afford on a zero-septim budget.

You hope you have money someday.

  • EveryZig

    Saint Jiub, patron saint of driving cliff racers extinct, is truly the best saint.

    Hehehehe the ice cream vendor is such a great reference to an obscure detail.
    (For those who haven’t recently replayed Oblivion, in the game she is a bandit mage specializing in ice magic who you track down for a Mage’s Guild quest.)

    • Locke

      Wait, uh-oh, another bandit? Hopefully she doesn’t try to practice her business at any point in the story. One bandit is enough for now, thanks.

    • Zephyrion

      ‘Cliff Racer Extinction’ was the greatest mod ever created for Morrowind.

  • Skullman

    Excellent, a return to the whimsical.

  • Ixcaliber

    Saint Jiub <3

  • Jack

    Horse: Try not to look so angry

    • Nathaniel

      Horse: Try to look angrier.

      Or constipated, your choice.

    • Oridian

      If you had to carry a legion soldier in full platemail, all of ASOTIL’s weapons, the two dead wolves behind them, and to top it off an extra rider to boot, all at the very brisk pace ASOTIL insists on, you’d be angry too.

    • patrick

      those, citizen, are eyebrows of dedication. to justice.

  • Can someone link to the wiki page for that ice cream vending woman who is apparently an ice-mage bandit? I don’t recall her.

    • snowfox090 There you go. Kaz’s depiction is remarkably faithful to her ‘fuck you and the Legionnaire you rode in on’ attitude.

    • EveryZig

      Well, she is an ice mage bandit in the future.
      Obviously the ice cream business doesn’t work out (probably because 39 gold is expensive; for that kind of money you could buy a fancy shirt).

  • Somedude

    Jiub? The dude you meet at the start of Morrowind?

    • MindEqualsBlown

      Yeah. He never shows up after that, and curious fans used to ask Bethesda about his fate. When they were making Oblivion they decided to mention him in a couple of books and such, along with another popular meme.

      Long story short: The whole “Saint Jiub vs. the cliff racers” thing is COMPLETELY CANON.

    • Norexicu

      The same dude, man. I always knew his journey would end gloriously.

      While I spent my lifetime in Morrowind looting the shit outta people (before dyeing pathetically before a Scamp), he became a legendary hero, lol

      • Riddles

        There is some fan theories (possibly joking) that the character you play as in Morrowind is actually a personality of Jiub or something.

        There is also a mod that disables the main quest and makes Jiub the hero. You can find him here and there as he goes about his quest.

  • Oh also, does anyone know what text that book is from?

  • justme

    panel 3: Angry Horse is Not Amused.

    Also, that ice cream vendor looks so pissed.

  • Barguist

    Ask the legionnaire if he’s ever considered, in cases of such preemptive justice such as these wolves’, selling their hides or such on the side. To cover equipment maintenance costs etc.

  • destinysWalrus

    My gog, there are absolutely zero panels with Katia in them where she isn’t seriously cute! Specially how Asotil is carrying her and riding the horse. Also lol – Asotil has arrested himself – . . . what? and also so funny.

    In case it wasn’t clear, Prequel is THE BEST THING.

    (also all cats are adorable to me so this is just kind of especially a thing I love)

  • Locke


    That aside, damn, whimsical character moments just aren’t the same, now. Every moment I’m afraid that some stupid command that was made off-hand will get Asotil, Katia, or Quill-Weave killed by the Orcish Menace. šŸ™

    • SomeRandom\Ent

      Pretty sure Katia, and maybe Quill-Weave are safe. The non-essentials are Alternia troll brand cannon fodder.

      • Loreweaver

        Considering that this is a prequel to the actual game, Quill-Weave is safe. Katia may or may not be the character who winds up in prison and meets Patrick Stewart, but I’m betting she is.

        • Locke

          But either way, Patrick Stewart is DOOMED. šŸ™

          And I’m hoping Asotil is the one who gets to meet him. Unlikely? Yeah. Would it be hilarious, though? Hell yeah.

      • Riddles

        I wanted Dmitri to be essential too, there was so much potential with him. He could have met up with Katia again and they could become friends and then fall in love and get married and adopt 6 kids and grow old together!

  • Reohajj Ouduru

    Katia, it may be hard at first, but once you’ve skilled up on your magic you’ll be able to go dungeon diving again, with a much higher chance of survival AND keeping all the extremely valuable loot you find. Then you’ll be making the big Septims. We’re talking at least three dozen gold per dungeon, if you avoid monster fights. You should ask your handsome chaperon- I mean, legionnaire friend what he knows about dungeon diving.

  • Damn you Kaz, for being able to win us back.

  • Lapak

    The ‘Leviatation Act’, huh? That explains what happened to one of the best spells in Morrowind!

  • ClancyDamon

    This was all kinds of cute and adorable. I love Asotil carrying around Katia and arresting himself for drug possession. So when the inevitable bad stuff happens directly to both of them, it’s going to hurt twice as much. You are a sick man, Kazerad.

    • Reohajj Ouduru

      That’s often called good writing. So long as there’s a redeeming value.

      • Barguist

        This man speaks truth

  • Zayle

    How is “Katia” pronounced? Is it like “Katie” with an “uh” at the end, or is it Kay-TEE-uh?

    • Heliros

      Being swedish I’ve thus far assumed that it’s pronounced similarily to, if not exactly the same as the name Katja. Kat-I-ja.

    • amishninja

      I say it like, “Cot-Ya”.

      • Dragon

        Russian Accent Headcanon get.

    • Reohajj Ouduru

      Seems to me like it should be pronounced Cat-ee-uh.

      • JohnTheFawn123

        + 1

      • Tormuse

        That’s how I’ve been (mentally) pronouncing it, with the emphasis on the first syllable.

  • Madkat89

    Ice cream 39 gold?! …This cone better make me trip the fuck out.

  • icweiners

    Asotil: Try and cop a feel on some sweet “pussy”

    bud dum tsh

    • JJA

      Katia: Try to feel a cop.

  • Link

    I love how adorable Katia look in these panels =D
    It almost makes up for the last page =P

    Asotil once again proves how awesome he is with that arresting himself story xD

  • Zayle

    When Katia is drawn in that more detailed style, she looks a lot more grown-up.

    • Heliros

      I wouldn’t say that. Defenitively cuter though.

      • Nathaniel

        I agree! I love when it’s close up like this, adds a bit of realism from the normal silliness of it all šŸ˜€

  • ErrorlessVector



  • Tobias

    i’m pretty sure that Katia’s patron saint is Saint Jude: Patron Saint of Lost Causes

    • tech

      Patron saint; are we all lost like you? Patron saint, patron saint; are we all lost like you?…

  • Niall

    This is really feeling like a professionally written piece of work Kazerad. Have you considered work as a writer?

    • Loreweaver

      Seconded. This is quite excellent character development all around.

      • polysyllabist

        If all my DM’s had been this skilled I’d still be playing table top RPGs

        • Unholy D

          You’ve never met me apparently.

        • Barguist

          My heart goes out to your loss sir. Don’t miss out on good fun because of a few bad experiences.

  • Finalplayer Ryu

    The Horse looks even more hardcore than Asotil, maybe you should ask it for advise.

  • fareydoon

    R.I.P. Dmitri

  • iamtycho

    Advice: Don’t do that one ear down, one ear up thing again. Any more cute and you’re liable to give someone a heart attack!

    Also make a note to inquire into social magic, if for no other reason than your natural talent for HNNNNNNNGGGsomebodycalladoctor

  • Laufente

    Angry brows FTW.

  • Neural

    Ohhhh, I get it, “Elsewhere,” like “Elswyr”… it all makes so much sense now…

    • Riddles

      You also have Hammerfel (the country’s founder threw a hammer and said where it lands we will live) and Skyrim (top of the world, also at the “rim”)

      • Neural

        Bethesda seems to do a lot of “Literal naming.”

  • Monglor

    trade her the flowers for ice cream

  • Uzi-Man

    i’d really like to see Katia meeting with the Champion of Cyrodiil!! That would be super-awesome.

    • Riddles

      Technically, Katia could be the one who becomes the Champion what with this being called “Prequel” and all. If she ends up in prison at the Imperial City at some point then it will do in that direction.

      Personally, I think it would be best if someone else is the Champion and we merely hear of their exploits as they adventure in the background, the main quest isn’t really the best kind of story for something like Prequel. I can’t imagine her invading doomsday cult meetings and journeying into the realms of Oblivion for the purpose to storm their citadels.

      • Sciver

        Ah, but that’s where “personal growth” comes into play. Nobody simply “is” a champion, they -become- the champion.

        But I agree I don’t think Katia is the type of character in the type of story where the world is saved from evil greater than all the snakes in the old world wall-carvings put together, regardless of how many elements are used.

        • Skullman

          If that reference is what I think it is, I may love you a little.

      • ErrorlessVector

        That would depend a lot things on how Kaz stuck to the game itself really. I can imagine her *eventually* getting good at fighing, or just sneaking in and getting into fights with scamps. Plus it would be funny if Kaz followed the original story for a while, then veered off sharply. Imagine if everything was progressing as normal then all of a sudden Katia accidentally set Martin on fire.

        • Riddles

          Thus she adventures to Skyrim to find a new person of dragonblood descent to save the world from the Oblivion crisis.

  • Barguist

    Didn’t Katia inform the legionnaire about the bandit issue? Maybe Katia should be bait for some type of trap since she seems to be a magnet for trouble.

  • Demetri: cast healing spell on self; be fine.

    • Jebediah Oldenheimer

      It’s already over with Reaver, he’s dead. Sad as it may be.

      • ReaverZappy

        Hey, it takes a minute to a minute and a half to die of a throat wound (provided you aren’t decapitated).

        • Wind

          Yeah, but you’re forgetting about how wimpy Dmitri was. He probably died from the shock of the 5 damage slice. šŸ™

  • V

    Anyone know where I can find the series of Prequel avatars, including Awkward Guard? I remember the author made a bunch of them, but I can’t find it again.

  • Wind

    Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ve been doing school work too. Believe me, it takes a good amount of effort to finish those assignments. šŸ™

    • Wind

      I just realized, she can make a restore magicka potion with those ingredients. That’s a Steel-Blue Entoloma and Flax (flowers instead of seeds). This is a good start! All she needs to do is join the Mage’s Guild (which she did) and pick up a free Alchemy set from the guild in Kvatch… wait… <_<

  • Zayle

    That’s the idea. And I don’t think she’ll actually need an alchemy set; she can get a bowl or cup and use the handle of her hatchet to grind it up. That’s all the mortar and pestle does anyway.

    • Wind

      Yeah, but if she uses the Alchemy set to make the potion, she’ll get a better result (because that’s how games work). šŸ™‚

      Plus, she can hold on to the potion in case she needs it later (you know she will) and sell the Alchemy set. VIOLA! Instant money. šŸ˜€

      • Wind

        Wait… what about the bottles and water for the potions. I’ve never found a store owner that “sold” empty vials. I guess that means that she’ll have to grab some free potions from the Mage’s Guild (whichever one she can) and drink them to get the bottles. Yay videogame recycling. šŸ™‚

  • Edspear

    Okay, now i would really like to see the complete lyrics for a Saint Juib Song, :D. I’ve found myself singing it and thought, “Oh man I wish there was more of it to sing.”

    This whole thing is spectacular by the way. Gotta love Asotil.

  • TechUnadept

    39 gold? That had better be the best gods-damned ice cream ever.

  • RKeno

    Hello good sir, I think I found one of those little somethings you hate.
    Just after the 7th panel: “Sorry, Iā€™m rambling here and not really [thnking]. What about you?”

    • Kazerad

      Eliminated! Thanks.

  • StClair

    St. Jiub is the best saint.

  • FireHeart

    Katia looks so adorable in Asotil’s arms

  • Stick Stickley

    Good to see his arm back

  • Bibliophael


    (Psst. Cyrodiil has been misspelled in ‘Cyrodiil holidays.’)

    • Kazerad

      Oh wow, good catch :o! Fixed.

  • nodanaonlyzul

    I love the face she makes in frame 9.

  • Dagda Mor

    Jesus, the mood swing between the last comic and this one is so extreme.

  • Cyclothymia

    The book Katia is writing on seems to be a homage to Tolkien!

  • Nobody

    Asotil warns you that it can take years of training, especialy here in the Heart Of The Empire.

    • Nobody

      I did that really wrong, but especially is misspelled.

    • Kazerad

      Woah, whoops, how did that go unnoticed for so long? Typo executed! Thanks.

  • PersonPerson

    It’s always nice to see the art style slowly improve.

  • Kelroe26

    I just did the “Impotence of a Saint” quest in Skyrim too!

  • dtlux14

    I actually like the guy that wanted to train Katia, This is the first place where I have hated the author, and I mean the VERY first place… I guess it won’t be the last either…