Oct 022011

NitroGlyde wrote:
>Katia: Try to clean that blood off of your fur and clothes. You’ll need to look presentable when you reach Kvatch.

Right! You will be the very paragon of presentability!

You rub the blood out of your fur and clothes as best you can, move your inventory into its new carrying case, and throw your now-empty hood back over your shoulders. You make sure your alchemy ingredients are safely stored for later sale and wrap the wolf pelts up so they don’t get blood on anything else. And also, just to be safe, you double- and triple- and quadruple-check that you still have Quill-Weave’s letter.

Knowing that you might actually have a chance to do something right is a little nervewracking. You’re not taking any chances here.

DeadlyHamSandwich wrote:
Katia: Inspect ring. Put on ring. Is the ring made out of some valuable metal? Maybe it is a magical! Does it make you feel magical?

Pidmon wrote:
be a Ring of Light, and thus utterly useless to Katia’s eye-bleeding racial power.

Hey, even if a magical light ring would be useless to you, it would probably fetch a good price among humans, elves, or anyone else who can’t see in the dark.

But no, this looks like it’s just a fairly ordinary copper ring. You know, the kind of thing people who have money wear to look prettier. You shove the ring onto one of your hideous, catlike fingers and confirm that it has no apparent magical properties.

You guess it does make you feel a little prettier, though.

DeadlyHamSandwich wrote:
What does Asotil have in his hand in the last panel? Is that a flask? A flask containing alcohol?

Katia: Ask Asotil what is in his hands. If it is booze, ask for a sip. Just a sip.

W.. what booze? That’s just his GLASS OF WATER.

A glass of… special poisoned water that only Legion Patrolmen can safely drink. Yeah. No reason to pay any attention to it, or to believe that maybe he’d offer you a swig of it.

You decide to hang back a bit and pretend you’re picking more plants while Asotil finishes drinking his WATER.

Your leg is feeling much better by now, so walking without the staff isn’t much trouble. Anyway, You’re almost to Kvatch so it’s probably good to stretch your legs a little. An inviting column of smoke rises from the front of the city; someone must have made a campfire nearby, perhaps to cook some delicious food. You think you can make out the scent of bacon, but that might be from one of the taverns you passed.

Just ahead, the road forks into two paths. At Asotil’s command, the horse stops.

Alas Fair Khajiit Maiden, Asotil begins, I am afraid this is where we must part ways. While I wish I could individually protect every single Citizen of Cyrodiil at all hours, I have Duties to which I must attend. The path to your left will lead you up to Kvatch, and I hope the remainder of your trip goes smoothly even without the Unparalleled Protection of the Imperial Legion.

You tell him it’s fine, you understand. The city’s only like a quarter of a mile away and you can probably just yell for the Kvatch guards if anything comes up. I thought you had to drop the dead bodies off with the Count, though?

Asotil explains that Count Goldwine has apparently been very busy lately, as he has requested that all his justice Reports be forwarded to Countess Umbranox until further notice. Anyway, there is a more Pressing Matter that the Legion must attend to as soon as possible. You mentioned you had evidence of a robbery?

Oh, right, Gharug’s receipt! You forgot to even list it in your inventory. You hand Asotil the small slip of paper and thank him for taking the crime so seriously.

He says that it’s the Legion’s job to take every single crime incredibly seriously no matter what. And a highwayman using the Legion’s very own patrol schedule to endanger the lives of Innocent Civilians? A travesty like that must be reported to his commanding officer in the Imperial City at once. Hopefully this single receipt will be enough to get the patrol schedule shifted and additional reinforcements deployed. Whatever his superiors decide, he promises that this Green Scourge will be apprehended as swiftly as possible. The song of Justice cannot be extinguished and the glorious light of the Empire will never silence.

If you have any further questions before he sets off, he says, he’ll be happy to answer them.

Supaaku wrote:
>Katia: Though the trip to Kvatch may have gone swimmingly, recall that you’ll still have to make the return trip to Anvil. Ask Asotil when he’ll be heading back to Anvil.

You tell Asotil that you are a bit concerned about the return trip when it comes time for you to leave Kvatch. You told your best friend you’d be back within four days, and if you stay any longer she might get worried and send out a search party or something. At least you’re pretty sure that’s something she would do for you. Anyway, will there be a patrol or something in the next couple days you could travel back with?

Asotil says not to worry about it. If his trip to the Imperial City goes swiftly, the Kvatch Guard will receive a copy of his new schedule and can tell you when to meet him. If he’s not back by the time you leave… well, this road is usually quite safe, and after an especially busy Justice Day like today it can take a while for new Criminal Scum to move in. The road should be safe enough to travel on your own as long as you leave sometime within the next three days.

That shouldn’t be a problem, you say. You can’t think of anything that would hold you in Kvatch for more than three days.

He adds that his patrol schedule currently has him leaving Kvatch at 5 PM. You may want to do so as well, in case the Green Scourge has not been Apprehended by the time you leave. You agree that this is probably a good idea; better safe than sorry.

  • CW

    Damnit Kat why are you so cute in that last panel

    This is all your fault

    • Locke

      Dammit, she is. I always hated the Khajit in Oblivion, and this webcomic is changing my mind. Now I have to sympathize with them, dang it.

      Well, I kinda take that back, I liked two of them: the Dark Brotherhood dude who starts off as a total ass but warms up to you, and the Fail Highwayman who’d try to mug you regardless of your level or weapon-load-out. Any guy with the cajones to rob a demi-god wielding enough magical weapons and spells to kill the population of Cyrodil three times over wins cred in my book.

      I kinda hope Katia meets him, actually. But without the whole “getting robbed” bit.

      • Erky

        Comical idea

      • Riddles

        I recommend you find Mai’q the Liar who is found along the road from Anvil to Leyawiin. Yet another khajiit you should like.

      • Cadvin

        Except if you tell him you don’t have any money (With less than 100 gold on you) he mutters about how the economy is affecting everyone and doesn’t rob you.

        • neongecko06

          That reminded me of how in “Eye of the Beholder” you can have a highwayman take only 1 gold piece off you, because you spent the rest on potions, which aren’t of value to him, and he remarks on the hard times. 😀

      • TechUnadept

        I remember that guy. He didn’t last long.

      • Matt Smith

        Meet him? I actually hope that orc gets his head placed on a pike for all I care.

        • AA

          He’s talking about a Khajiit highwayman in Oblivion, not Gharug.

  • Ratzinkaiser

    The orc must have lit himself on fire since he’s now resistant to it. That’s probably what the smoke, bacon smell and the firey thing in the last panel were.

    • CW

      This is unlikely because, as a professional Highwayman, he would be slightly… unstealthy… while on fire.

    • Locke

      Think of the combat modifers, though. Would you resist a mugger who is immune to setting himself aflame? I wouldn’t. Unless, you know, I was a mage specializing in ice spells, but, otherwise, I’d just hand over my loot.

      • Wind

        D: That’s one way to get what you want. Be immune to fire, set yourself on fire, then demand someone’s things from them (while still on fire). The very fact that you’re not screaming in agony should build your reputation as the biggest bad-ass in Cyrodil.

      • Riddles

        Don’t give up so easily, use a weakness to fire spell on top of your usual fire spell and watch that corpse cook!

      • Xeroh

        Am I the only one worried that the highwayman that has both had sex with, and robbed Katia is now immune to the only spell she knows. O_o

  • Riddles

    Here we go! Will we enter a peaceful Kvatch styled after the Kvatch Rebuilt mod or is that fire in the distance the messenger of events most sinister?

  • Illidan

    I vote for oblivion’s gate.

  • Mr.Painful

    And here we go again, will she prevail against hordes of daedra? Thank god everything is leveled in Oblivion, otherwise she’d die, and we don’t like it when the most popular cat with a kinda strange talent (with the pineapple and jojo thing. I still want to see it, even when my eyes will start to bleed)

  • justme

    “hideous cat-like fingers”?! Indeed…

    Katia: recover from chronic low self-esteem. You are beautiful.

    • Wind


    • Monterrey

      She’s a cartoon cat.

      • Zefiren

        A beautiful cartoon cat.

        • Monterrey

          …jesus christ.

          • Jebediah Oldenheimer


        • Malefactor

          hey bro, hey bro, the dude who made her up is a dude.


    • Bullshit.

      Khajiits are not pretty.
      Kaz draws Katia more like a human and less like an animal so we can relate to her, but in lore, Khajiits are fairly ugly.

      • Jebediah Oldenheimer


      • justme

        Maybe they are beautiful to eachother, and to them, it is we that are ugly…

      • Tacobob

        Gah. EVERYBODY (Before the mods) in the Elder Scrolls games tend to look ooogly. Thankfully Skyrim looks to fix that. Knock on wood.

      • skooma devourer

        Ohmes khajiits look almost like humans. Katia is just cute looking suthay-raht however. That’s not something unusual.
        Also in Morrowind khajiits were not ugly.

        • Jebediah Oldenheimer

          Well the way they moved their legs in Morrowind was HORRIFYING.

      • Riddles

        I don’t see much wrong with the khajiit in the games even with the default faces.

        Personally I like the Skyrim faces, they have quite a bit of personality to them over their predecessors.

      • Khenarthi

        You can’t really say that she’s drawn more human-like.

        She’s drawn as a simple paint-cat.

        She’s not really all that human-like at all, in comparison with the rest.

      • Skullman

        So… Katia… being cute… is HEADCANON?? :O

      • Zayle

        What do you think we look like to them? We don’t have any fur; we expose our bare skin. Our only hair is a shrublike growth on top of our heads. Our ears are little twisted round things that stick out of the sides of our heads. And our nostrils are huge.

    • lolpun

      “hideous cat-like fingers”

      Will Katia ever get over her paw self esteem?

      • Dragon

        I see what you did there.

    • Felidire

      I admit to having a bit of a paws fetish, among other things… but scrolling upon that text after viewing the close-up of the ring? Took me totally by surprise! XP

      “d’aww, so cute!! *scrollscroll* ..hideous catli– “…WUT?!!” >:0

  • jetlok

    “You can’t think of anything that would hold you in Kvatch for more than three days.”
    Oh dear. ;_;

    • Vidiotdragon

      This is one of those comics where sayings like “Well at least it can’t get any worse” and “What’s the worst that could happen?” Are very very bad things to say.

      • Riddles

        Seriously though, what is the worst that could happen? It isn’t like some cult would start an invasion from Oblivion and hold the whole city under siege. Even if that would happen, it couldn’t because we have the Emperor and the Dragonfires keeping such things from happening.

        • Shadow Lurker

          Oh Dear…

  • Illys

    Strike a victorious pose, Katja, you have defeated the treacherous road to Kvatch!

  • Moose

    It is DEFINITELY time for a hug.

  • “You can’t think of anything that would hold you in Kvatch for more than three days.” asfdsgfsgsdf oh no

    • michael

      Cue the three-day blizzard.

      • JackDesert

        I see your blizzard and raise you one ash storm.

        • Reohajj Ouduru

          Ash storms are for pussies. We need some magically summoned Cliff Racers is what we need.

  • Ahahaha, Katia looks so cute in the last panel. This character has been growing on me very quickly. And, well… I bet that the fire on the same last panel will lead to her to notice on it and eventually get involved on more disasters… after all, she is prone to them.

    Also, Asotil’s horse needs to have “sushi eyebrows”… it will look even angrier.

  • Fieron

    Asotil: try to find the criminal scum who took all the lines away in the last panel

  • Malefactor

    Needs more horrific disasters. All these triumphs are making me flaccid.

    • Calkhi

      You sick sick fellow.
      Out…OUT! NOW! I do not want to ever see you here again!
      *throbbing temple*
      Sick bastard.

      • Wind

        Unfortunately, anyone can change their name to another name and no one knows the difference; it’s just another name. That means that technically two or three people could have just kept changing names and posted all of these comments. D:

        • Kazerad

          Nah, I’d notice that unless they were changing IPs too.

          • Wind

            You’d notice, but no one else would … <.<

      • Malefactor

        Lotta weird kids on here.

        I’m just sayin’ that horrible disaster and conflict is the crude oil that keeps the story train running smoothly

        Too long without that and boom, stagnation.

        • Wind

          Technically, “boom” implies the lack of stagnation.

          • Kazerad

            But what if all of a sudden, absolutely nothing happens? BOOM, stagnation.

          • Reohajj Ouduru

            I approve, good sir.

    • Illidan

      Just please wait her enter Kvatch to start the siege.
      Or maybe she do a friend or two (that’ll obviously suffer a horrible death).

      • Skelatox

        You meant “meet”, not “do”, right? Right?

        • Malefactor

          Yeah… right…

        • Illidan

          Yes, Meet, blame my underdevelopment english classes.

          • Wind

            Could’ve ment “do” too. Katia’s already “done” a couple of people in this web comic; and at least one of them wanted to be her friend. 🙂

          • WIttyname

            And now he’s dead.

          • Alex


  • Soadreqm

    I sure am looking forward to a predictable and uneventful stay in Kvatch.

    • Scow2

      An uneventful stay in Kvatch would be entirely unpredictable.

  • IndieMoose

    Give him a firm pat on the backside goodbye. It’s only customary, the legion does it all the time. If you don’t do it he will be insulted.

  • KBB

    >Katia: Part ways with Asotil, head towards the fire.

  • Link

    It’s still much to early for the Kvatch siege to begin. I do however believe we’re gonna become acquainted with a certain Sigrid.

    I really like how her hand was drawn in that zoom in on the ring =) Claws ftw!

    • Wind

      Using a “paint” program… I think… <.<

  • Locke

    Hopefully, she meets a few sidekicks whilst there. It’d be awful, and boring, if she had to take on Oblivion all on her own.

    Unless this is all a big psyche, and Kvatch DOESN’T fall while she’s there. I’d find that hilarious, a pro author-psyche. XD

    • Illidan

      I just wanna something unexpected.

  • Morphello

    I just realized the favicon for this site is a pineapple. Brilliant.

  • Neural

    inb4 something terrible happens within the short distance of this point and the city.

  • Rarborman

    Ja’khajiit how nice you’ve made it to Kvatch, but this be unexplored waters…

    Kaz I’ve noticed your either using something different to make your panels or are perpously making them softened… =P

    (I had to retype this seven times because the damnable spam test doesnt accept “Ja’khajiit”.)

    • Kazerad

      It does accept Slutcat though!

    • Zayle

      Why not Jo’khajiit? I think she’d like that better.

  • Derpy

    I’m quite sure there WON’T be any Oblivion gates in Kvatch, this webcomic takes place 20 years before TES4:Oblivion.

    • someone

      20 years? Are you trying to live up to your self-inflicted nickname? :p It’s just a year at most before. Oblivion is set in 3e433, Katia said earlier she was nearly 20 and that she was born in 3e413. It is too soon for Kvatch to be attacked, but not that too soon.

  • Sad Nord

    Wow, the spam test really does accept “slutcat”.

    • Kazerad

      Okay, it accepts Ja’Khajiit now too, and several misspellings thereof. This is pretty much the most lenient spam filter ever but I haven’t gotten a single piece of spam since implementing it.

  • Triage

    In before Katia takes to learning a few things from the weirdo mages in Kvatch and winds up accidentally opening the Oblivion gate that destroys the city.

    What a downer, man.

    • CB

      Oh no…

  • Stedmister

    Find Dimtri on the way to Kvatch asking for help almost dead, help him, he gives you the letter and you bandage him up,

    • Sad Nord

      Find Dmitri on the way to Kvatch entirely dead, approach him, get assaulted and badly wounded by his remaining necromancer buddies, cry a lot, drink alcohol, wake up after having unwittingly had sex with a new character, convince someone you aren’t worthless, prove yourself worthless anyway, rinse and repeat.

      • Malefactor

        No no no. That’s silly, this isn’t a fairy tale where we rehash the same thing over and over

        We need something else to happen entirely to prove katias worthlessness!

        for instance meeting with a mind controlling psycopath in charge of the mages guild of kvatch

  • Malefactor

    No updates for a fucking long time? It’s time for baseless mass fan guessing!

    I think the kvatches mages guild is currently under the rule of a evil probably magical manipulator who may or may not like to bring necromancy back, it’s probably that woman asotil was wistfully expositioning about despite only having seen her once breifly which leads back to the whole mind control dealie.

    Katia being a mage wannabe will probably meet her which will tie her story to the kvatch mages guild secret dealies and happenings nicely possibly as an unwitting and ineffectual pawn for her manipulativeness (because lets face it, Katia would have to do twice as good as she does currently to reach ‘ineffectual’. she is currently at the level of ‘mentally handicapped inanimate object’ (which is better than where she was at the beginning of the story))

  • Wind

    Hey, I’m just wondering, what classes are you in. I know that you said college projects are slowing updates, but you never mentioned what the classes were.

    • Kazerad

      It’s actually just two courses this semester, one on the math behind microeconomic theory and one on monetary policy and current events. It’s honestly an embarrassingly small load, and really wouldn’t have much problem if not for the fact I’ve gone for like two years without using any calculus. Which is a Bad Thing to do.

      • Wind

        O.o I’m working my way toward calculus, though from something you said in a response to a post in the forum hinted that you were in college. I can see the added humor of having Gro-upp be so knowledgeable of the economic trends of Cyrodill too. By the way, I took Macroeconomics; it made me sad faced. I still have no idea of how to figure aggregate whatevers and GDP; though Accounting I and II did help me understand fluctuations in interest rates. Best of luck on calculus formula recall.

        • Kazerad

          Gharug is secretly the embodiment of everything I want to become.

          That is, a violent green man with an economics degree.

          • Wind

            😀 I lol’d. Not to mention, you apparently know calculus, so you could definitely have the upper hand on creative ways of thievery. Except that I took Accounting so I know how complicated the damnable paperwork is. Thank the nine divines that Gharug doesn’t have to file the financial forms to anyone. >.<

  • Dorl Nadog

    I think that the Invasion of all invasions is going to happen regardless of the timeline but maybe not on this visit to kvatch. after all, There is a plan set in motion to tear this realm asunder…

  • bren

    Can you just stop it with the booze thing? Its already way overplayed.

    • Darth GW7

      It’s a running joke, it’s meant to be overplayed.

  • Xaesther

    I think Asotil might be be just a tad bit drunk.

    For when he said “The song of Justice cannot be extinguished and the glorious light of the Empire will never silence.” I think it should have been “The song of Justice cannot be silenced and the glorious light of the Empire will never be extinguished.”


    • CB

      Could be all of the drugs.

  • ughhh

    15 days of nothing.

    • Sad Nord

      … nothing but pure, undisturbed suspense!

  • Grif

    Foreshadowing is failing. Katia was absolutely certain that nothing could go wrong at the dinner party. She got out of that unscathed, with new friends, chocolate cake, hatchet advice, an escort, and another night at Quill-Weave’s. Nothing at all has happened since she got on the road to Kvatch; even her fireball practice run left her with a solid grasp on spellcasting, though she has no mana left of course. So far we just have to wait and see when and how the next challenge hits her.

  • seriouslyHURRY


    • Kazerad

      I am working on it!! >= Or the prerequisites to it, anyway.

      I have not forgotten about you, man who gets very angry when I do not update!

      • Blackstone


        Some people… eesh! Good luck with your classes.

      • seriouslyHURRY


        • Kyle Hyde


          • Sad Nord


  • Kyle Hyde

    While I want the next update as badly as anyone else does, I find the delay kind of fitting. To me, this looks like a part I’d call the end of Chapter 1 or whatever.

    • Illidan

      DO EET.

  • Corovaneer

    Oh. My. God.
    This story is So Fucking Awesome. I looked through this whole story in about 6 hours straight, I couldn`t take my eyes of this beauty! Katia is so adorable! Few times I seriously held my breath for her, like in the dungeon, or at the feast! And it almost brought me to tears few times!
    And it`s ongoing! Thank you thank you thank you mighty, mighty sir!!

    (I really hope it`s not over for Dimitry! He`s my namesake (if im using the word correctly) after all!
    Also, greetings from the cold land of indiscriminate alcohol abuse! We feel for kitty!)

  • Wow, people whining about how long you’re taking and the plot (the booze thing being over played… really person? Really?!) make me sick.

    Keep doing what you’re doing.

    …Or I’ll kill you.

    • Wow… slutcat really DOES work.

    • Just Outta Curiousity

      How would you feel if you did a quest for months, went on extended break, and nobody cared?

      I say we do more HURRY UP KAZERAD posts. I mean they are obviously a compliment. He is obviously not getting upset over them. You are telling people they are rude for complimenting the guy! However sideways the compliments may be… they still are that.

  • seriouslyHURRY

    It’s been over 2 months since Dmitri started.. :c

    • Kyle Hyde

      Let us all pray for Dmitri.

  • James Almasy

    The bronze ring actually looks like a dirty gold ring.

    I think i see her meeting the emperor’s illegitimate son, Martin.

    (and neither knowing that he’s related to the emperor, makes it all the more interesting.

    Steer clear of the Mages guild in Kvatch (wouldn’t hurt to peek in a window, though.)

    • Adult Puppet Show

      This charming story is supposed to take place before the Oblivion Crisis, correct?

      • The Crusader

        But wouldn’t it be funny if she meet the champion of cyrodil be we would find out that through a series of unfortunate events that she acidentily sent him/her to jail so she ends up being an intrecit role in the whole Oblivion crisis.
        Without her the whole Oblivion crisis wouldn’t of been ended, that kind of thing.

        Just food for thought

        • The Crusader

          but* not be sorry

          • Adult Puppet Show

            That’s kind of what I’m hoping for too.

  • Blast

    I spent the last two days reading this and my word am I ever hooked.

  • Maggie :3

    Every time I read this I desperately want to play Oblivion XD

    • VinnyTheGuy

      I’m playing it right now. I’ma Kajiit A PURPLE KAJIIT!

  • Auggle

    Draw Picture of Gharug Gro-upp for his refrence, since you are so good at drawing. Don’t forget important details, such as the four leaf clover on his chest. This way Asotil can recognize Gharug if he sees him.

  • The Crusader

    Your story is great, I hope your exams (Or whatever) go well.
    Guys please stop asking about the new panels (but don’t lose faith in him), you have to understand not only is he balancing his school life with making this epic tale but working over a hot graphics tablet all day is really stressful (trust me it is).
    Best of luck to yee who ever made this

  • chickenlord

    the art and story and humor just keeps getting better and better. at the same time i have a feeling of “this is going well, something horrible is probably going happen again”

  • fridge bob

    This is the greatest thing in the whole of the internets. Please continue.

    • fridge bob


  • Raptor

    I had a horrific thought about Asotil.

    Since this is a prequel to the events of oblivion, I can’t help but think of my oblivion character who waited until ~20 to do the castle Kvatch quest. All I can think about is that one of the two imperial legionaries who help you on the quest and were subsequently killed by storm atronaches was Asotil.


  • Cerulean Starlight

    >Anyway, You’re almost to Kvatch
    “You’re” should be lowercase.

    • Cerulean Starlight

      >W.. what booze?
      That ellipsis is missing a third dot.

  • “…isn’t much trouble. Anyway, You’re almost…”

    And those apostrophes are apparently non-standard to my machine (US Win7, Opera 12).

    • Kazerad

      Weird. I tried typing over them with new apostrophes, though it looks exactly the same to me. Let me know if is still nonstandard, or if more of those show up!

  • Worm Anchorite

    “You think you can make out the scent of bacon…” Tee hee. I’d like some of that BACON.

  • Burgrus of Corgi

    Dat detailed paw.

  • PersonPerson

    His left arm was obviously busy acquiring his evidence bag from the horse.

  • dtlux14

    I hate that green dude right now, I don’t care how rock hard his abs are, I loved the person he killed.