Jan 212012
 

TomatoLicense wrote:
>Katia: Shake notion out of your head, find something less life-threatening to do. Get a snack and some REFRESHING, NONPOISONED WATER.

You cautiously peer down into the well. It’s a long way to the bottom and the water looks deep. You could just walk away. You could just forget about this entirely, or tell a guard to handle it. You could – and probably should – play it safe and just go wait outside the Mages Guild until nightfall. After all, it’s not like anyone will judge you for giving up on a job that was outside your abilities.

But…

If you could just get a little closer to the water, you and your hatchet could probably make quick work of anything down there. You could get those scales, that meat, and maybe even the arrows you just paid for. You could stroll into the Mages Guild tonight a bit more confident, having successfully helped Kvatch in your own small way. You could still do this.

You won’t deny your motivations probably stretch a bit deeper than that. Maybe it’s all those hours of pussyfooting around and failing to kill those fish, making you all the more determined to get something out of this. Or maybe it’s because someone – no matter how crazy she was – honestly thought you could succeed here, showing a faith in you that only Quill-Weave has ever shared. Or maybe you just have a persistent habit of overestimating yourself as some sort of coping mechanism to help you deal with your blatant ineptitude.

All you know for certain is that when you look down that well and think of all the time you’ve wasted here, you start to wonder: what if you just have to… go a little crazy, and everything you do will turn to gold?


JJA wrote:
First, check the strength of the rope, particularly where it attaches to the pulley at the top of the well. Test it by pulling and leaning on it with with as much of your weight as possible. If it feels at all loose or creaky, try to reinforce it before you trust your life to it.


ShinWalks wrote:
Tie that rope into some kind of harness, or tie it firmly to a sturdy non-slip-out-of-able article of clothing, or somehow ensure that you cannot possibly accidentally lose hold of the rope. Do you know stuff about knots?

But don’t worry! You’re gonna play it safe. You don’t want a repeat of that whole ruins incident, where you screwed up, almost died, then lost everything of value. Twice. You’re gonna make sure there’s no way this can backfire disastrously.

You know knots. More about them than you care to admit, and this rope seems sturdy enough to hold your weight. Also, you used to climb all the time back when you were younger. The stonework out here in Cyrodiil is smoother than what you’re used to, but there’s still nothing to worry about. You know what you’re doing.


xron wrote:
Katia: Abseil down the well instead of climb.

Holy shit!

That’s way better than your idea.

You… adjust your plan accordingly. Yup. Totally know what you’re doing.

Also, you let Hirtel know that you’re going to dive down a well and kill some fish in melee combat, and tell him to maybe come check on you in a little while. Make sure you’re not drowning. Sure, whatever, he replies. Have fun.


BakaGrappler wrote:
You can do this Katia, just as long as you take a few precautions to make sure you don’t fall into the well water. Tie the VERY END of the rope securely around your waist. That way you’ll have a lifeline attached to you if you should lose your grip at any point.


JJA wrote:
You’ll need as much freedom of movement as you can get, so you’ll probably want to leave your outer robes and pouch topside. This will also keep them dry and neat for your Mage’s Guild appointment tonight.

You’re on a tight time limit here, so you rush back to the well, strip down to your slip dress, and stash your valuables in a nearby crate. You quickly review your plan: get down there, deliver some quick swipes until they die from blood loss, scoop up the bodies, and get out. Prove you can do this. Piece of cake, and perfectly safe as long as you stay above the water.


Thesselas wrote:
You’re Katia-Fucking-Managan. And you’re going to prove that you can do something productive even if it kills you in a gruesome and bloody manner.

*sighs*


  • Tokage

    You know, I am feeling pretty hopeful about this plan. This is because I don’t think there is any way to actually fail in this without also being killed/maimed gruesomely, and that would most certainly mean the end of the story, which would suck for everybody a LOT more than the author would be willing to go for.

    …Right?

    • Tenten

      I sure hope so. What a lousy way to end a story. “She falls into the water and is eaten alive by the slaughterfish.” *horrible images of Katia dying*

      We should hope that at worst it’s a wake-up call for just how far she can realistically go, without losing any limbs or even appendages.

      • Thornclaw

        They can’t kill her. she’s the hero!

    • Maybe Kazerad will surprise you.

      • Drew

        I bet she kills the fish, gets stuck down there somehow, then the town will get killded by the baddies then she will get out and be like Wtf o-o

  • yuri

    im pretty sure swinging small hand axes in water decreases your movment speed and thus doing less damage, but you know, whatever

  • RocketFetus

    THIS
    CAN
    ONLY
    END
    WELLLLLLL

    • Reohajj

      Your icon is PURRFECT.

    • OldSchoolRPGDude

      Don’t dampen our spirits.

      • chaoticawesome

        Water you talking about? There’s no way this could backfire disastrously. Though I’ll feel a wave of relief when she’s done with this.

        • Tokage

          Let’s hope you’re right. She hasn’t had any really bad luck in a while and it does seem we’ve gotten most of our things covered here, but still… knowing this story, I fear for the worst.

        • MrSing

          I don’t know, something feels fishy about this plan.

          • chaoticawesome

            I just hope when she’s done she’ll still have the strength to scale those walls. I’d hate to see her succeed only to drop. Though I’m sure with tales of her success, she’ll be able to make a splash at her Mages’ Guild appointment.

  • J

    Can slaughterfish jump?

    I’m just thinking of bitemarks on her ass. But go Katia! You can do this!

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      Yeah, Katia doesn’t need any more bite marks on her ass… *winkwink nudgenudge*

      • Chieron

        Well, aside from the skeleton’s…

    • tenten

      I too envisioned her being bitten on the ass before actually beginning to swing at the fish. Humorous, but unlikely.

  • Richardson

    That’s a level up message right there. That either means she leveled up, or she’s insane.

    Of course, those might not be mutually exclusive.

    • Narrrrrr

      I used to think i was insane until some guy walked through my door and told me otherwise.

  • Malef- Motherfucker

    LITERALLY NOTHING HORRIBLE COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN

    GREAT PLAN, BEST PLAN

  • Lord Bigglesbee

    She is going to be eaten alive <3

    • woundedkneecap

      The heart means that they’ll eat her heart first or that you’d loved to she her get eaten? My guess is that the the fish will love eating her

  • Link

    I bet when she gets up and out of the well Kvatch has already been overrun by the Mythic Dawn and Oblivion monsters =D

    • Tokage

      Kvatch was attacked at night, when everyone was sleeping. It’s evening at most right now.

  • Blind Moth Priest

    …in before kvatch gets nuked above her and being in a well saves her ass and excuses her from even having to kill the fish 😉

    • Felidire

      *ascends from well*

      “Yeah! I killed those damn f–uuckshitcrap! Why are the buildings all red?!

  • Goatmon

    Pay no attention to that shadow that looks remarkably like an evil king of evil.

    • Dragon

      What shadow?

  • Dousiq

    WELLP

  • chocobro

    >You won’t deny your motivations probably stretch a bit deeper than that. Maybe after hours of pussyfooting around and failing to kill those fish, you finally want some closure.
    >after hours of pussyfooting around
    >pussyfooting
    he he he

  • Soadreqm

    Did that duck drawing always have a price tag?

    • karishi

      Of course. How’s anyone supposed to buy this Marvelous Work of Art if they don’t know what it costs?

  • TehTeal

    Remember those Cyrodilic rats you talked about Katia? The ones that you think you saw fighting an alligator? yeah about that… Slaughterfish are well known to be a fair bit more dangerous then them rats girl. Bite harder, tougher to kill, and carry almost as horrible of diseases. So, good luck! You might need all of it.

    • karishi

      On the opposite side of things, this is almost exactly how things went when I first got out of prison in Oblivion. I encountered Slaughterfish, tried a couple useless fireballs, then settled for swinging a weapon wildly at them while staying just out of their range. It worked. Granted, I wasn’t hanging over them, so there’s an added level of risk. Katia needs to be more careful than I was where she swings that hatchet of hers.

  • Robobro

    I know you have limited resources to work with, but what do you honestly plan to do? Use yourself as bait and then wildly flail at the surface of the water hoping you kill the slaughterfish before they bite you?

    Kitty pawing for fish? What could possibly go wrong? No, seriously, I actually can’t wait to find out how many ways you’ll screw this up. With your luck, you’ll probably just burn the rope anyway, get stuck in the well, and miss going to the Mages Guild tonight. Here’s a pre-emptive “Great job Katia” for when that happens.

    “Great job Katia.”

    • Robobro

      p.s. I bet a much more competent adventurer will take all your stuff from the crate while you’re in the well. No worries, no pressure.

  • SideNote

    Probably should have tied the axe to yourself.

    Hmmm… yep that thing’s going in the well

  • philold09

    One thing too consider:
    Slaughterfish are predatory creatures and are almost never seen together
    I’m sure in the past few days/hours since they have been in the well one has killed the other and the survivor is injured
    That Information may help you defeat them/it

    • Denis Bondarenko

      No, I’ve seen a lot of grouped slaughterfishes in Oblivion. Also, she does not have such amount of time.

  • janx

    You know, I’m thinking that this is going to go “WELL”, and this will give Katia just the confidence in herself that she needs to make something of her life.
    Excelsior, Katia!

  • This you read wrong

    She should tie the hatchet to her so it won’t fall, but who’s going to think like that when there doing something crazy? She’s gonna get bit at least twice though, no changing that.

  • Athletics

    ‘Why walk when you can run’ has always been your motto. Now the miles of running and hours of swimming have paid off. You are an Apprentice of Athletics. Your rate of fatigue regeneration when running is increased by 25%.

    • TheLogicalOne

      Um…Earlier, she said that SHE CAN’T SWIM/SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SWIM…Pay attention?

  • Klepter

    She’s going to fall into that well because someone is going to make a cat burn and since she’s not wearing the pendent of silence she will lite the rope on fire and fall in…poor katia, gonna get bit up.

  • The Nerevarine

    Katia, I have warned about the dangers of slaughterfish. You have chosen to go into danger and I hope you emerge victorious and mostly unharmed. I have given what advice I think can help elsewhere, and I pray that you heed it. You have not the weapons nor strength to pierce their skin except at the gills.
    May the Nine watch over you.

    • Dagoth Ur

      Hey buddy, what’s up? Remember me? >:)

      • Fargoth

        Oh, snap!

        • Caius Cosades

          Heeeey Fargoth, sorry about the whole amulet thing, and the stump in the mud…. My homeslice Nerevar needed the septims WAY more than you did at the time. I’m sure he’s good for it. Also, people probably wouldn’t find your stash nearly as easy if you weren’t so damn conspicuous all the time. I’m not even that shifty with a fresh pocket of sugar. People could tell what was going on all the way from the lighthouse. What am I talking about? I never go to Sedya anymore…

          • The Nerevarine

            Caius! Where have you been! Where are you now? Everything has gone to hell. Red Mountain exploded! Almost everyone’s dead, I can’t find any of the Ashlander tribes, the Great Houses have gone into hiding, and the Legion is starting to pull out! Damn it, you bastard! I could have used your help during all this!

        • Hrisskar Flat-Foot

          WHERE’S MY MONEY FARGOTH

          • The Nerevarine

            I already gave you the money, you drunkard. Now sit down, shut up, and drink your drink like a good little Nord.

      • The Nerevarine

        You are dead. I remember it quite clearly. And I did NOT appreciate you trying to drag me into the magma as the whole of Red Mountain trembled around us. Though, I hope you take heart in the fact that the Tribunal is disbanded and depowered and it is very likely they are all dead.

        • Dagoth Ur

          I can assure you that rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. And the Tribunal deserved it. As I hear it, didn’t you kill Almalexia yourself?

          • The Nerevarine

            Yes I did kill her, but to be fair she tried to kill me first. Serves that bitch right. She lured me into that deathtrap of a clockwork nightmare to be her fall man. And then she gloated! She stood there and she laughed, with that face that lied to me all those years ago! She lied and she lied and she tried to kill me again! AGAIN! And once more she attempted to make it seem like it was an accident, like she wasn’t to blame, she was the one who slew Sotha-Sil, the mad god. Yes, I killed her. And from her dying hands I took her sword and I stabbed her again. I stabbed her until my memories no longer cried out for vengance. And then I wept. And then I left.
            And as for you! You who disobeyed me, I saw to your end! I don’t care WHO dragged you out of whatever hell you belong in, I want you to go back there and ROT. I killed you in the Heart Chamber. Even as your metal god collapsed and the mountain shook, I fought your grip and in the end I cast you into the pit of fire. And I would do it again. My best friend betrayed me. My wife betrayed me. My student betrayed me. My teacher betrayed me.

            May Oblivion take you for all I care.

          • Dagoth Ur

            Bla bla bla, everybody picks on poor Nerevar. You’re just pissed at yourself ’cause you didn’t join me and restore the sixth house to glory and become an awesome ruler-guy. And a wise man once said, “I’m a god! How can you kill a god?”

          • Dagoth Ur

            Oh, and if you still don’t believe I’m alive, look in the mirror. I seem to remember a certain OTHER someone who was murdered at Red Mountain…

          • The Nerevarine

            How can I kill a god? By destroying his power source. Without your rock, you are just a very old dunmer. Ha! I probably could have left you there to die of old age.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            OK, I admit it. I was impersonating Dagoth Ur just to mess with you.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            On a side note, having all those people betray you means that A: you have terrible taste in friends, or B: you’re a total prick. Both of those would be bad things, and would need some ironing out of one’s personality.

          • The Nerevarine

            I’m…. I’m sorry. You know of those people who talk of ‘past lives’, well unfortunately I’m one of them. Though I am the Nerevarine, I am not Nerevar. Sometimes he creeps up. The man was…. difficult. His memories are sometimes very harsh, and his emotions are fierce. The sting of betrayal taints everything and magnifies even the smallest moments of frustration. Once I found myself speaking in a language I never learned. My own personal memories of my time in Vvardenfel are mixed up with Nerevar’s.
            I wonder why I only possess the memories of Nerevar and not any of the other Incarnates? Surely their experience in dealing with the memories of such a hard man would have helped me, just as their gifts did.
            As for the betrayals of people that Nerevar believed were his closest allies; Vivec himself explained to me that the temptation to use the Tools was great and it cost all of them dearly in the end. Perhaps if my previous self had been in full control of his senses, he would have been corrupted too.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            You’re totally posessed. Have an exorcism, or drink a potion of cure haunting.

    • Dovakiin

      You all are freakin’ nuts…

      • The Nerevarine

        To hell with you, boy. You think you’re so special, with your fancy powers. Hah! I started with a knife and a handful of coins. And what do you have to run around and fight? Dragons? Really, fighting giant lizards is all that hard? Boy, I’ve fought GODS.

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          A stolen knife, no less!

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            As a matter of fact, you probably got that poor kid who was supposed to sharpen the knife into a ****load of trouble. He was probably beaten mercilessly, and possibly executed.

          • The Nerevarine

            Actually… I went back there when I had a sword. I had to explain to them that I had stolen it. I mean, they already suspected that the newly-released convict might have taken it… The man who was supposed to sharpen it is… was fine. I also had to pay a large fine for stealing. To be honest, it was humiliating. But I gave it back, that is the point of the story. Not me losing the modest amount of gold I had earned at that point.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Oh, ok. As long as you didn’t get somebody eaten by nix-hounds or anything.

        • Nameloc

          Get back to your questing in Akavir you old fool! Nobody cares about your ridiculous adventure regarding that demi-god and those crackpots, the “Tribunal”. I saved not just a province, but Nirn itself from a REAL god!

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Hey, the Nerevarine is awesome! I’d like to see you tackle Hircine, and a scrib, and all in the same week

          • The Nerevarine

            A scrib? Well, I find that anything that doesn’t try to maul me on sight to be a friendly creature. Couldn’t you have mentioned the werewolves? Or perhaps the Udryfrykte? Karstaag? Though in the end they weren’t all that frightening. They were strong and fierce and would probably have eaten me had I not killed them first, but they didn’t frighten me.
            Dagoth Ur frightened me. He could reach out and touch me even in my dreams. Or in towns. Even through people I met on the street. And the strongholds of the Sixth House… I still have nightmares.

          • The Eternal Champion

            What is with you people? Save the world once and suddenly you’re hot stuff. I saved Tamriel once, and what? Nobody cares now! Nerevarine, just calm down a bit. You had your time in the spotlight, let the “Dragonborn” do his thing before somebody new comes and saves Nirn for the thousandth time.

          • The Nerevarine

            Hey, I bet you twenty septims that the next one will be given a title like…. “Scamp Rider”. Something ridiculous. At least you got a respectable title. I only get remembered for some guy who died thousands of years ago in a disagreement about the usage of Lorkhan’s Heart.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Hey, this discussion is following the lead of the story and thus it’s set right before the start of Oblivion’s storyline. Hence, this “dragonborn” fellow won’t pop up for 200 year, and the Hero of Kvatch/Bruma/The Unknown Whatsits is happily rotting is jail. Therefore, the Nerevarine is Tamriel’s most recent hero, and thus a pretty big celebrity. And Nerevarine, don’t be too hard on yourself. Anybody could fave Werewolves, of Karstaag, but it takes a REAL man to face a scrib. I remember what those things were like. Slowly waddling along, minding their own business, I never have trusted ’em. They’re waiting for a chance to strike, I tell you!

          • The Nerevarine

            Scrib haven’t got anything on netch. Hah! I’d be walking along minding my own business and I hear a cliff racer. So of course, I turn and ready to fire an arrow at it. Damn arrow misses, hits a netch and the thing just goes berserk! It spits poison! People keep these things like cattle! What is wrong with you?!

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Weird fact: Cattle kill more people each year than sharks.

          • Nameloc

            I just now noticed that I posted as myself, not Dovahkiin. Yeah, that post was me, and so was the Fargoth one, and the Eternal Champion one, and a few others that I forgot about.

  • Chthon

    Am I the only one who’s glad she didn’t go with the idea of tieing the rope to her tail and jumping in? After all tails aren’t meant to support weight, I’d think it’d be rather painful for her.

  • Hide-of-Scales

    This is totally gonna end well. Totally.

    I still think we could’ve done something about that vampire… maybe not sell our blood – Katia would probably pass out from blood loss, leaving her to the mercy of the vampire. Or worse, get that vampire disease with no immediate means of curing it… maybe we could report her to the guards? Or, since Katia seems so intent on killing something that’s quite dangerous, slay the vampire and present the dust to the guards as proof. We’d probably get a nice reward or at least some food for our efforts…

    Yeah, I know this isn’t the place to make suggestions, but I just feel we should do something about that unholy creature – after all, vampires are dangerous creatures, especially if they’re in city walls preying on whoever they want.

    But hey, if Katia can slaughter the slaughterfish without getting bite marks in her furry read end, then good for her. If not, look on the bright side; at least you still got the Mage’s Guild to look forward to – I hear members get free bedding.

    • Riddler

      Well you could have the fish killed then use a cup to take the fallen blood from the them. After that you could sell it to the vampire for a good amount of money

      • Hide-of-Scales

        Your comment about fish blood now makes me really curious about how vampirism works – I know they have to feed, but I wonder if there’s any specifics about what kind of blood they can feast on. Would any old blood do (in this case, the slaughterfishes’) or can it only come from “greater” creatures (i.e., humans, elves, etc.)? If any blood would do…

        Katia, this guy might be onto something…

  • nesset

    “You know knots. More about them than you care to admit”

    Does this imply what I think it implies?

    • Felidire

      I’m not sure I want to know what it implies.. I mean, just how many species of canids actually inhabit Tamriel? I can only think of three..

      *shrug* who knows what who she does when she gets drunk.

      • ehsteve

        Uh, pretty sure this is just a reference to light bondage.

        • RekoHunter

          Yeah that did go a little bit to far into the strange zone.

        • Felidire

          Hope you’re right, lmfao.

    • The Nerevarine

      I think so Brain, but where are we going to get three liches and a rubber ducky?

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        ^ +1

      • SkyrimImperial

        me gusta! You sir win all of my internets

      • The Nerevarine

        Speechcraft increased to 56!

  • Some-other-guy

    ”You know knots. More about them than you care to admit,”
    ”You know knots”
    Wait, arn’t dogs supposed to have knots, not kittens? Khaajit are barbed so… who does it refer to?
    ….”More experience than you care to admit with Argonian saliva” Oh god!

    • Tokage

      Relax, it’s just bondage.

    • TechSmurf

      Two people going down this same train of thought is just terrifying.

      • someone

        Apparently, if you make a webcomic with an anthropomorphic animal in it, you draw in a crowd for whom the first thought at the word “knot” is “dog dong”, even when it’s in the context of a character tying a rope.

  • Tenfey

    With some grit and determination, Katia could one day become a world class spelunker.

    • Gopher

      Or she knows how to find graves…but I’m not implying anything.

  • Anonymous Prime

    Katia, I am very concerned by the fact you don’t have your Night Eyes on. Please turn them on.

  • cake

    inb4 someone steals all your crap in the “safe” crate.

  • Anon44

    We quicksaved before we attempted this, right?

    F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5

    • Lawxxie

      ^ +14 Saved Games

  • hehe and i was gonna ask where she got the book…….then i saw next panel 😀

    and lol at her thoughts…. oh man i gots a baaaaad feeling about thisss……… >_<;;

  • Illidan

    So it’s here where our heroin dies?

    • MrSing

      To find this out and more, tune in next update.
      Same Prequel website, same Prequel time.

    • Nameloc

      No! Not the heroin! How else am I supposed to get high?

  • RekoHunter

    Beware thy tail girl or you’ll be using it for an impromptu fishing line like it or not. Maybe get it far away from the water as you can?

  • V

    Slow and precise movements Katia.
    I don’t want you making last minute mistakes like you did exiting that tomb. So keep your grip tight, I’m sure a babe of your particular talents has excellent grip but don’t be to overconfident. Swing carefully only when the fish are closest to the surface and mind you balance; I’m sure that won’t be a problem either considering you pole dancing skills and all…

  • goodwenator

    Katia: Put the “slaughter” in “slaughter-fish”

    (kill those f***ers!)

  • Pogiforce

    she’s going to do this successsfully, climb out of that well feeling like a hero, then realize someone stole all of her valuables out of that crate while she was down there.

  • nickhols

    Is a machete really a good idea here?

    I mean you want them dead, but i dont think the town is going to be very happy to be drinking what is essentially watered down slaughterfish blood.

    why dont you revisit the boiling water plan?

    • nickhols

      meant to say hatchet

  • Kvothe

    Man, it would really suck if you suddenly let out uncontrollable flames and burned the rope you’re clinging to. Luckily, you have your amulet on to prevent you from that sort of cat-astrophe!

    Oh wait.

    • Caldfir

      You seem to forget she is all hells out of manas.

      • eternity08

        Actually she might still have some left over from the Healing Spell. But considering her… probably not.

  • ewitwins

    For fuck’s sa-THEY HAVE MINIATURE FINS! LIKE SHARKS!

    THAT’S BAD!

    • The Nerevarine

      No, it’s worse. Those are slaughterfish. There are no sharks on Tamriel because the slaughterfish ate them.

      • eternity08

        And the only things that eat Slaughterfish are WERE-SHARKS!!!
        And they only exist because they can go onto land whilst in their were-form.

      • ewitwins

        Okay, I have to say, that’s pretty fucking awesome/terrifying.

  • ultimamax

    When you are near enough, throw your axe like a tomahawk 360 ricochet quickscope mlg pro.

    • FaceDavid

      Wrong game, bro.

    • M’aiq the Liar

      Some people wish to throw their weapons. That seems foolish to M’aiq. If you hold your weapon, you only need one.

  • Vausten

    I have a feeling someone is gonna come by and nick all of her stuff she left in the crate.

  • Felidire

    She’ll kick their ass.. …and then the count’s advisor – an elderly woman – will stop by to feed her pet, docile, de-fanged fish who happen to have a strange phobia of buckets – which they’ll headbutt to pieces when placed within close proximity… Totally predictable! xD

    …Either that, or some asshole’s going to swipe her clothes. </3

  • Tokage

    Someone stealing her clothes while she’s down there? Kvatch being burned down? Her accidentally cutting her own rope, falling in with the slaughterfish, and dying? I think I can do one better.

    Everything goes fine, but when she gets back to the surface, Gro-Upp is there waiting for her, quickly steals her spoils of battle, figures out where she keeps the rest of her loot, and absconds before any of the guards show up. How’s that for depressing?

    • Hide-of-Scales

      This. It’s been too long since we’ve seen our favorite Orc highwayman. He needs to show up again and remind everyone why he’s the best bandit.

  • 8bitplaya

    I’ve been enjoying your comic since I saw it linked on 3 panel soul. I just wanted to say I got a good laugh from that picture of Katia jumping down the well with the hatchet, like the kind where you can’t breathe. Thanks! 😀

    P.S. I also thought the meow remix of the the oblivion theme was pretty awesome ^_^

    • someone

      What kills me on that original plan is how she attached the rope to her tail. Ouch!

      Granted, there’s pretty much no way that plan wouldn’t have been painful, even disregarding the well walls, the hard impact with water, and the slaughterfish. You don’t want gravity to yank your vertebrae out of your body!

  • avpfreak15

    Careful of your tail!

  • Snerky

    There’s no way her clothes could possibly be stolen while she’s down there, ha ha, not even worth mentioning

  • Loki

    Katia: Pull. Tail. Up.

  • seelcudoom

    wait did she leave her amulet?
    not to insult her but shes not the best mage yet
    her fire will be useless in killing the fish but if she messes up she may accidentally burn the rope

    • Tokage

      Well, she doesn’t have to throw anything this time: the fish will be close enough that she could just create fire instantly on them.

      Besides, I don’t think she has very much magicka left.

  • SideNote

    Damn it. She’s going to get stuck in the well and someone’s going to steal her cloths from the crate… in that case she would still get that pole dancing bit at the tournament.

  • RogueAngelic

    Is it just me, or am I expecting a bitten tail?

    Because I mean

    IT’S RIGHT THERE IN FISHY LEAPING DISTANCE.

    • ewitwins

      No, no.

      I think you mean SLAUGHTERFISH jumping distance.

      Which would be the treeline. Or the Moon.

  • SkyrimImperial

    I have a baaaaaad feeling about this

  • Wytsfs

    This is such a stupid plan.

    Katia couldn’t even chop an apple in half when she was practicing her magic. Not even halfway. What makes her think she’ll have more luck versus a slaughterfish?

    • Vausten

      Well how hard could it be to lodge a hatchet into the skull of a fish?

      And besides there was a decent gouge in the apple, plus given the size and weight of the fruit it naturally would have been knocked off rather than cleanly sliced by the axe. Unless it was incredibly sharp.

      But I do expect someone to make some cat joke/insult which will spark a small fire that burns through her rope.

      • Lawxxie

        Don’t give people ideas.

  • Lawxxie

    Imperial Dictionary of Tamriel*? Or is that not a typo?

    • Evil Argonian

      Tamriel is the name of the continent they are in. It’s Continent: Tamriel, Province: Cyrodiil, Region: Gold Coast, City: Kvatch

      • Lawxxie

        I know. Look at the dictionary, It says “Tamrielle’

        • Tokage

          I think it says “Tamrielic”, actually. Which’d make a little more sense, if that was a language.

          The language is probably “Cyrodiilic”, though.

          • Kazerad

            I’ve seen both used in the games. I’m assuming the terms are interchangeable, or if there are differences it’s something relatively subtle like Spanish vs. Castilian.

          • Evil Argonian

            Also, I’m not sure whether Tamriel is the continent or the rea where the Imperial Legion rules over, which happens to be the whole continent and Summerset Isle, which might be too big to be considered part of the continent. But I don’t know.

          • Evil Argonian

            area*

          • The Nerevarine

            I thought that Tamriel was the planet….

          • someone

            The planet is Nirn, also called Mundus by some stuffy imperials.

            Tamriel is just one of the continents. The others are Akavir, Yokuda, Atmora, etc. They’re all pretty much mysterious and for some it’s not even sure if they still exist (Yokuda) or have ever really existed in the first place (Atmora). All the games have taken place in Tamriel (plus some outer planes sometimes).

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Actually, the planet is Nirn, and the plane of existence is Mundus. As opposed to one of the planes of Oblivion.

  • Katia doesn’t even need the machete. Khajiit have claws.

  • alias

    This would be the worst possible time for Gharug to show up. He would steal her stuff and cut the rope. Oh yeah, thats so gunna happen.

    • Malefactor

      That’s not really his style… I mean he could have killed her on the road but he didn’t.

      He would simply grab her stuff and leave before she could get out of the well.

    • Corovaneer

      Why did I remember Gro-upp?

      It made me check out this page and see that there`s still no update, and read your comment.

  • sugesnugetti

    Now This is a story that would make the FREAKING BEST. MOVIE. EVER!

    P.S I love her she’s just so adorable^^ good job

  • sugesnugetti

    And I also wish that The Elder Scroll games could be like this. I’m meaning that it could be harder to get jobs and joining guilds or the legion.
    In-game: “Hey can I join the legion?” “SURE! Here’s your new armour and weapon and some money and stuff.”
    In this story: “Can I join the legion?” “OH HEEELL NO!! You need to be super strong and capable of killing superior monsters twice as big as you are n’ shit..”
    And once you get a job, you could easily fail it, for example losing guest items and so on, but you also might have a second chance to complete the job just like Katia did.
    That, would be NEAT.

    • Tokage

      Morrowind did it somewhat better than Oblivion: it at least had some ability and skill requirements for advancing in the guild. In Oblivion, I could theoretically become the archmage without ever casting a single spell.

      I still see where you’re coming from, though.

    • Some Sort of Pink Elf

      Guest Items? You mean our Items are now NPCs too?!! FFffuuuu

      • sugesnugetti

        AWW HELL XD sorry my bad English, meant to say Quest items with “Q” not “G”
        now I’m shamed:D
        Goddamnit! ^^

      • Kazerad

        Given the context, a much better reply would’ve been “Well, you can’t expect Guest Items to say forever!”

        • Tokage

          Frankly, I do like how the Guest items just sick in my inventory no matter what, until they’re no longer necessary for the story.

  • lustralstar

    “What if you just have to… go a little crazy, and everything you do will turn to gold?”

    Holy shiitake mushrooms, did Katia just LEVEL UP?

    • Tokage

      No, but she will if she gets through this without dying.

  • GentleCorgy’s#7COMBO

    Hey, I know this sounds like a lame idea for Katia, but what if she was to wield her axe (machete) with her tail and kill the slaughterfish.
    Also, finally caught up to story and am loving it, great job Kazerad.
    P.S.: Katia also use Eye of Fear on one of the Slaughterfish to cut the chances of a tag team attack.

  • Joel

    Its been getting darker over the course of the panels, and its pretty close to night time already, shes gonna mess around with this well for ages and screw up the mages guild! 🙁

  • Mourdos

    Why doesn’t she just poison some meat? Slaughterfish love meat. Mmmmm. Crunchy.

    • Mourdos

      To elaborate:
      Poison some meat, cloth, sponge, whatever will absorb some poison without leaking it. Lower it down on the rope, and if its small enough, the slaughterfish should just swallow the whole thing. Plus, depending on how powerful the poison is, if there are small traces left in the water, that shouldn’t be tooooo bad.

    • Tokage

      It’s a good plan, but poison is expensive, and she isn’t made of money at the moment.

  • Fariday

    Katia, maybe you shouldn’t exactly rush down a well with no plans as to what you’re going to do once you reach the bottom, no?

    In hindsight, it may have been more prudent to make sure you actually have something you can use in such close quarters to kill slaughterfish.

    On the other paw, you’ve got claws. Right? Those have to be of some use.

    As well, slaughterfish scales are likely a rather valuable comodity to sell, assuming you don’t completely destroy them. Likely alchemical ingredients.

    Just… Be careful. Being eaten is bad. Bad for you, and bad for Quill-Weave. Who still needs that ironically un-insulting letter.

    • Tokage

      The machete also helps.

  • Boatman

    1. If this comic wasn’t partialy life referenced, she should have leveled multiple times by now. And since her luck has been getting better, I would assume she was placing points into it. However the inventory bar is just reference to her delusional mind with all its voices, so one can assume this was no the case.

    2. This is a bad idea.
    A. You have already gotten yourself tangled in the rope and nedd to evacuate before you can’t untangle yourself.
    B. You swing like an untrained child. The water will slow an already slow swing. Also,you will need two hands to wield the axe properly, leaving nothing holding the rope.
    C. Your stuff is unattended.
    D. You used all your magic up prior to entering the long tunnel that from my experience would be covered with slippery, slimy, and extremly moist plant matter. So I can only guess that is the reason you haven’t slid into the water yet. The fire toasted it all. Which also leaves you without magical means of protection.
    E. Spear fishing would be the better choice for attack. Don’t throw the spear, but stab with it. Since sticks are easier to come by, I would suggest getting a longer one. (See reference A.) And maybe if you still have any of that glass between your book pages, using it to mae the spear point. Glass weapons and armour are supposed to be worth a lot as far as light armour goes.

    • Boatman

      Also note that it has been identified as a woodcuter’s axe by the shopkeeper. Not intended for use as an insterment of death. Please stop calling it a machete.

      Note 2. If you fing yourself in a hurry, using an arrow that still has it’s metal pointed tip may serve as a makeshift spear as well, but I generally find that they break easily when used in such a manner.

  • Christopher

    What is that HERETIC doing with those books!? Is that … a *book pyramid*?
    I … I think I need some fresh air. Those poor, innocent books … *sobs*

  • ==> Katia: Slip and fall into the well.

  • ewitwins

    If she falls into the water, does that make her a… *spfft*CATFISH?

  • Katiafan

    I cant decide which alternating face shape of Katia I like more, the round one, like in panel #4, or the anime pointed chin one with fur ruffles, like in panel #7

  • puppehface

    ZOMG! *bum-bum-bummmm*

    CLIFF HANGER!!!

    *crowd groaning noises*

  • Bambi

    Well Well Well, water plan you’ve got there Katia. If you die your purrfect plan definitely didn’t go as swimmingly as you thought it would.

  • SplinteredReverence

    Assuming no one’s pointed this out, because I won’t try to read every post.

    “Maybe it’s all those hours of pussyfooting around and failing to kill those fish, making you all the more determined get something out of this.”

    >determined TO* get

    • Kazerad

      Nope, nobody else noticed it! Fixed, thanks!

  • TheLogicalOne

    You people do realize that there’s something called “Submit Commands”, right?…..Right?…..*A sigh escaped his lips* Commands go to THAT PAGE THAT YOU GET TO BY PRESSING “SUBMIT COMMANDS”…..How hard can it be, to figure out something so obvious?…….Pretty hard, it seems….

  • You remind me of my cousin’s cat…

    There’s more than one way to skin a cat…

  • Dmitry

    When talking to Hirtel, “check on you on a little while” should be “check on you in a little while”.

    • Kazerad

      You are a skilled typohunter, sir!

  • “what if you just have to… go a little crazy, and everything you do will turn to gold?”

    … smooth

  • xKiv

    The first paragraph (after first image, before “But…”) probably wants a full stop at the end, just like all the other paragraphs get to have. Except the one with a question mark and the one with a exclamation mark.

    • Kazerad

      I’m beginning to suspect I have some kind of evil doppelganger who goes back through the pages and deletes random punctuation marks just to keep me busy. Fixed!

      EDIT: and no, site moderators, that is not a dare.

  • GreatFairy

    He kept her duck drawing and taped it to the center of the wall.
    D’awwwwww!

  • dtlux14

    “Thesselas wrote:You’re
    Katia-Fucking-Managan. And you’re going to prove that you can do
    something productive even if it kills you in a gruesome and bloody
    manner.

    *sighs*”

    Yeah, nothing could go wrong here…