The year is 2005. Linkin Park is the most popular band in the world. Every website requires Flash Player to view. The TSA is tentatively allowing people with facial hair through airport security again. And, alongside it all, an up-and-coming niche game studio called Bethesda Softworks just announced a new roleplaying game where every character has a super-advanced AI that makes them follow their own schedule and travel the world as if they were alive.

Revisit the magical memories of an age two-decades-gone with this fine Prequel Nostalgia Bait! Decorate your desk with two new Prequel-themed building kits featuring new minifigures, bizarre references, and fun minicomics. Like last time, every figure is pad printed and every custom piece is injection molded to remain as stylistically accurate to a mid-2000s Lego set as possible – the only difference being that it did not actually exist when you were a kid, because this comic and its characters did not exist. But look at this catalog page and pretend:

(Full size here, shirt detail further below)

Don’t want to explain to your spouse why you’re buying toys? Jeopardize your marriage by also trying to explain why you bought a shirt with a screaming cat on it! The new Eye of Fear T-shirt is 100% cotton and screenprinted with breathable ink, meaning the print won’t crack off or make you sweaty underneath it (unless you wear a second shirt under it like everyone in 2005 did). The design was sketched by me, rendered by my friend Shard, and styled after the grungy band tees of olde. And if that’s not enough to send you back in time, every tee comes with a bunch of sparkly Prequel stickers in that ugly 2000s-era style, and a short comic about Katia’s pre-Prequel days, styled after those hand-stapled indie zine comics that nobody in 2005 actually bought (I know because in 2005 I was in high school making them).

Don’t want to buy anything? Embrace nostalgia anyway with a NEW SIDESTORY that is actually just a full-length text-based adventure game following up on Dodger: Break the Law! Most of you won’t have nostalgia for this frustrating genre that died for a reason, but you will have nostalgia for Homestar Runner’s 2004 parody of it, and have probably wondered what Prequel would be like if Katia was dumb enough to unquestioningly follow every command she was given (hint: short). Plus, if you beat the game and preorder – or have already preordered – any of the aforementioned merchandise, you can enter your email at the end of the game and receive a SPECIAL SURPRISE with your order! I won’t tell you what it is, but I will tell you it costs less than a dollar to make and exists purely to incentivize you to buy something, so don’t hurt yourself trying to get it. Text-based games are an acquired nostalgic taste. Blocky Katias and grunge tees are not.

So don’t hesitate, preorder your own little slice of the past! Preorders will close September 10th, and should start arriving mid-October. If you have any problems or questions, feel free to ask in the comments below, or reach out via email.

Additional resource credits:
AMK – halftoning
Awoo- photography