Mar 212011

Hey Honeybuns, how’s it hanging? It’s always hanging amazing. That’s the answer.

The orc introduces himself as Gharug gro-Upp. He overheard you talking to that fine piece of scale; sounds like she’s not too happy about the room! But that’s okay, he’ll pitch in. He always keeps some coins lodged between his luscious, steely pecs in case something like this happens. Check it:


Pretty fucking amazing, right?

He explains that he knows a guy in Kvatch who can get this lady’s walls and windows fixed on the cheap. Just take this gold up to Kvatch and find someone named Fixes-Homes. He’ll get this place back how it should be. Gharug says the gold he was packing between his massive, toned chest muscles should be just enough to cover the repairs.

You uneasily thank Gharug for his contribution. You ask him if he’ll be joining you on your trip to Kvatch, but he declines. He’s got to get his leave on, if you know what he’s saying. (He’s saying he has to leave.)

Take care, Butterscotch, and thanks for the sweet lay.

Before you can say anything else or mention Quill-Weave is out buying clothes, Gharug gets his leave on.

You’re not entirely sure how to feel about this.

  • Anon44


    • Suraru


      i should stop with these suggestive comments XD

      • J

        Yes, you should.
        Goddamn furries.

        • Jebediah Oldenheimer

          What do furries have to do with this?

        • Bladix

          ……what? furries?

        • Pseu

          Furries? Where? I love furries!

          • syion toxius

            right here :3

          • tech

            They squeal so loud when you smash ’em. They’re like elves that way.

          • Salamore0

            *flails around waving like an idiot* I iz furry!…Also dating someone in Second Life right now who made a Katia avatar! ^^

          • tjk

            I’m a furry but reading the comments section has never made me hate them more.

          • Djinnfest

            Too roight.

          • Faestre

            Ditto absolutely

        • Gig

          How come every goddamn comment turns into a internet-racial argument with you people.

        • Samuel McAfee


          • Yonkers

            HAHA dating someone on Second Life. How pathetic can you fucking be?

      • Raurie

        what…. what am i reading, this si so strange and a little freeky. like it though.

  • matty406

    And he walks out into the street totally naked.

    • DeeJayDragon

      Where he was promptly set upon by the guards and made to pay for his vile crimes or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately, he just blasted all the gold he had on him into Katia’s face. So I guess he’ll be suffering the consequences, then.

      • A Bucket

        If I were a guard in whatever-ville, I don’t think I would be getting paid enough to even THINK about arresting an Orc that is most likely twice my size, has armor-like muscles and is wielding a rather vicious looking ‘mace’.

        • Jadav

          The city is Anvil 🙂

        • cyril

          Have you ever played Oblivion?

          Those guards are absolute beasts that fear absolutely nothing.

          • creeperbro

            More like idiotic NPCs that charge headfirst into battle.

          • ASOTIL

            More like righteous, loyal servants of the Emperor that will do anything to protect the free and safe province of Cyrodiil. These guards don’t get paid nearly enough for their spirit.

  • karvinbarsh

    This is the most hilarious thing i’ve read in QUITE a while, plus…… katia’s kinda hot….. B)

    • Salamore0

      Same! I’ve been reading TwoKinds for a while, but this is kewl. I agree about Katia btw. Started reading the comic more ’cause of my gf, got a katia avatar in Second Life.

    • Samuel McAfee

      Pretty much all of the khajiit u find r sexy (don’t hate just go with it)

      • Thane

        You sir I can agree with

        • mangst

          you know what? I would love to recommend this to my friends but all your fucking creepy ass comments about a cartoon cat really keeps me from doing that.
          it’s embarrassing. take a good look at yourself and think about what you’re saying.

          • Yonkers

            Pathetic furries… pathetic furries everywhere.

          • Djinnfest

            I feel sorry for people like you, so hung up on decency that they miss out on all the fun things in life.
            Gotta get rid if those mental hangups, brah. Surrender yourself to the Id, and let the darkness consume you… for only then can you truly appreciate the difference.
            Then, enjoy having NO qualms whatsoever about anybody’s benign fantasies and live your life exactly how you want to and let the consequences be damned. Like me!

  • Kaldiron

    Did anyone else notice that the Orc acts like Todd from scrubs >.<

  • katianator

    y was she always looking downwards……

    • KTB

      Did you happen t onotice the orc was naked and had his third arm hanging out, that happened to be teh size of a babies arm holding an apple.

  • Oh mai god, this is amazing! where has this been all my life! xD

  • Timbles

    Did that orc just leave butt-naked?

  • Reptoslayer

    Orc walks down the street screamin ive got the power plus the gay elves pop out of their store sayin hello

  • Deimos

    Hey Kaz, not sure if intentional, but “get this lady’s walls and windows fixed on the cheap.” On the cheap… Also, I read through this in a day. And its been 6 days since an update. Am I going to have to hack and shut down TF2 servers?

  • FlutterScratch

    hey kaz typo. “get this ladys walls and windows fixed on the cheap”

  • John

    I agree with Karvinbarsh Katia is kinda hot

  • Samuel McAfee

    Did anyone ever notice Quill-Weave is in the game oblivion

    • Samuel McAfee

      Yes I even befriended her

  • Tigersong

    find a someone named Fixes-Homes.

    Typo here… this one knows who Kaze dislikes them.

    • Kazerad

      Holy crap, that went unnoticed by tens of thousands of people for over three years. You, sir or madam, have the Eye of a Proofreader.