Apr 192011

Squiggles wrote:

Suddenly, the Ancestor Guardian pops up from the ground! He heard you were in need of a friend, and a protector. And all of the hugs.

The two of you take off for a wacky buddy adventure together! You will no doubt face many perils on your journeys, but it doesn’t matter because you’ve got eachother’s backs! Oh the crazy antics you guys get into.

Of course none of that actually happens. You pretend it’s real for a little while, imagining what it’s like to actually have real friends who care about you. But the harder you try to pretend, the more it hurts to remember that you’re all alone out here in the middle of nowhere. That you just screwed up everything again with one little mistake. You try not to think about it, to just keep moving forward, but you can’t make the thoughts go away. It feels terrible.

Maybe if you lapped up some of that magic potion it would give you a bit of confidence? What does confidence even mean, forgetting all the stuff you messed up? You could lick up some of that wine for the same effect. But… no, you’re not ready to do that, no matter how much you want to right now. Time to focus on other things.

Squiggles wrote:
Are you okay? You’re not hurt and/or that glass didn’t cut you… did it?

You’ll be okay. You’ve had worse. It even makes it a bit easier to forget about the poison ivy rash.

GeneralMister wrote:
Oh and make sure the letter isn’t stained with wine.

The envelope got stained. You peek inside to make sure the contents are still legible.

This looks alright. You tuck it back in the envelope without reading any of it, since you really shouldn’t have opened it to begin with. But at least it’s fine. That’s one thing going your way, you guess. You’re still feeling pretty awful about everything, though.

McFrugal wrote:
Oh. Actually, you are slightly better off- you have a satchel now!

You… guess? It’s an upgrade over your bindle, anyway. In fact, yeah, you’ll just pretend this satchel was what you were after all alo-

Riou wrote:
What a cat-astrophe.

You hate everything about yourself.

  • Lisa

    Oh come ON

    • Cantv

      “Lisa says:
      July 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm
      Oh come ON”

      • Cain

        Cantv says:
        August 2, 2011 at 7:01 am
        “Lisa says:
        July 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm
        Oh come ON”

        • cedeelbe

          Cain says:
          July 9, 2012 at 12:37 am
          Cantv says:
          August 2, 2011 at 7:01 am
          “Lisa says:
          July 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm
          Oh come ON”

          • froedrick

            McFly says:
            October 21, 2015 at 1:21 am
            froedrick says:
            January 29, 2013 at 3:17 pm
            cedeelbe says:
            July 29, 2012 at 6:16 am
            Cain says:
            July 9, 2012 at 12:37 am
            Cantv says:
            August 2, 2011 at 7:01 am
            “Lisa says:
            July 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm
            Oh come ON”

          • froedrick says:
            January 29, 2013 at 9:17 pm
            McFly says:
            October 21, 2015 at 1:21 am
            froedrick says:
            January 29, 2013 at 3:17 pm
            cedeelbe says:
            July 29, 2012 at 6:16 am
            Cain says:
            July 9, 2012 at 12:37 am
            Cantv says:
            August 2, 2011 at 7:01 am
            “Lisa says:
            July 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm
            Oh come ON”

            also lolololol necropost

  • some random dude

    oh god this is so sad that its almost hilarious, god i love this.

  • matty406

    God fucking damnit Riou.

  • Scy

    God Dammit dude!

  • Riou

    Oh, hey. Apparently I was the one who made that command.

    Terribly sorry. :V

    • Jacob English

      ‘Death Gaze’ >:(

  • Chicken lOrd

    The letter says “… Bowl of grapes again I fucking swear to every eadra and daedra I will personaly hike up to kvatch and kick your altmer ass…”

    • Bobbyis

      I think it has something to do with the newest update, showing a letter about Quill-Weave choking on something. My guess is he hid something in the grapes and she started choking on it. Maybe he was pissed off?


    • TechUnadept

      Sadist Show: everything and anything the terminally unlucky protagonist does to improve their situation will come back to bite them.

  • Felix


    • jesusmanHyperchrist


  • NoriMori

    I once ruined something by tripping over the very last step on a flight of stairs, so I kinda-sorta-somewhat know how Katia feels. Except that my having a place to sleep that night didn’t hinge on my success. My self-esteem did, though. Just not nearly as much, or in nearly the same way, as for Katia. 😛

  • Korri

    That’s why Im argonian,cant exactly make jokes about that.
    but hey look at the bright side your alive!

    • GuyManDude

      argonian in oblivion or Skyrim? if it’s Skyrim then you must have past through a B-Lizard.
      sorry I couldn’t hold it.

      • MentallyUnstable

        Dragonborn=mortal with dragon soul

        …looks at a humanoid reptile…

  • GabesWW

    I wish I could just hug her =C
    She certainly seem to need a hug xD

    • SplinteredReverence

      A hug? I wish I could give her a food, clothes and a place to stay. She invokes enough pity in me to support her myself without anything required in return. As silly as that probably sounds. I’ve always had a soft spot for used, depressed women. An uncontrolable need to help. I suppose this story plays on that. Or I could be an emotional idiot.

      • SplinteredReverence

        Oh look, I made a terrible typo. Emotional idiot it is! 😀

        • NoriMori

          Wait… What?

      • Erik

        “I’ve always had a soft spot for used, depressed women.”

        *Cough* *Cough* <..>

  • patrick

    almost every panel after the two ghost ones are not okay. just damn. and way to go Riou..

  • George


    … i just want to hug her… poor sweetie

  • Neo

    I want to hug her poor kitteh 🙁

  • andy610

    wow… just wow… That’s so fucked up riou XD

  • Worm Anchorite

    AHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!! Balor’s eye, that was the most excellent page I’ve read in a loooong time! The missery, aw, how perfect! How f*cking PERFECT! Just as it seems Katia is going to change into some kind of hero, everything goes straight down the shitter!
    Kindo reminds me of “A Series of Unfortunate Events”… 🙂

  • Amon


  • Rik


    Did no one catch that??

    Anyway, loving this story so far 😀

    • Rik

      Wtf did I just type I’m so sleep deprived I “corrected” your word with the same word… which was correct… whatever. Ignore me.

  • Tygrahof

    OH come ON! No one can be this unlucky. Even with a sadistic writer.

  • Khajiit

    wow i used to live in the hood and ghetto and i was poor so i kinda know how katia feels and man im still kinda lackin money so yea, but i do know how she feels so yea i would give her some food, water and place to stay for a while untill i know she could support herself and if she needed help well so be it i would help

  • Khajiit

    but srsly riou DICK MOVE

  • JaekovKurosaki


  • MentallyUnstable

    Brother instincts activating. Must hug poor crying girl, and buy her ice cream and tuck her in a warm bed after a full meal and a bedtime story. Then go out and kill whatever or whoever slighted her.

    Its go time.

    …what? I got six sisters, that response was hardwired into me since the second boyfriend decided the cute baby brother was joking about breaking his legs and dragging him to the hospital by his hair. Of course my fun stopped when baby bro hit puberty and came out 6ft 250lb ox with an anger problem. Then only the “keeper” boyfriends came around.

    Dont feel sad for me though. It finally gave me time to go on dat- I mean play at the arcade. Yeah arcade. Cause thats where my six totally non-violent sisters would drop me off and proceed to scare away the hussies only after my money.

    ANYWAY! Katia need a hug. Where is the donate septims to katia button on this site?


  • dtlux14

    🙁 Just destroy everything she has…

  • Djinnfest

    Goddamnit Riou!

  • Ja’ Jarsha Rovandi

    Hello failure my old friend

    Hello Failure, my old friend
    I’ve come to sit with you again
    Because a dreaming that would recur
    Left the mark of a saboteur
    And the marking that had broken up my soul
    Takes its toll
    With just the sound of crying

    And to Kvatch I walked alone
    Then the orc came for his ‘loan’
    ‘Neath the field of an old ruin
    I found a satchel by the ghost brewing
    When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of magic attack
    That burnt the pack
    And caused the sound of crying

    And in the scary dream I saw
    Just the one royal and no more
    The King standing without acting
    The King scaring without trying
    The King watching things as broken my life was
    And my paws
    Can’t hide the sound of crying

    “Though,” said we, “do not despair
    Failure a fleeting affair
    Hear our words when we bug you
    Take our arms that we might hug you.”
    But the words like empty clichés fell
    And they lost out to the sounds of crying

    And the Khajiit sat and prayed
    To the fake friend that she made
    But the ghost stayed not discarding
    By the corpse that it was guarding
    And people said “The signs of this failure were written in the recent win
    And Katia’s grin
    They whispered of sounds of crying.”