Jan 052012

Thesselas wrote:
>Katia: Slaughterfish are predatory and go into a frenzy if they sense blood. You can use this. Take the ball gag, and smear it with some of the blood that is conveniently flowing from your eyes.

Way ahead of you!

This contraption you just made should do the trick. The slaughterfish will bite onto the ball gag – which is smeared with fresh Khajiit blood – and then you’ll scoop them up in the bucket. Easy.

I mean, come on, that’s clearly why you made your eyes bleed in the first place. Surely you wouldn’t be stupid enough to turn your darkvision on in broad daylight again.

JJA wrote:
Katia: Doesn’t this woman have a name? She knows who you are – you should complete the introductions and find out more about her. She’s wearing what looks like a leather apron and apparently she has easy access to poison – is she an alchemist? An assassin? Knowing her profession and skills may give you another angle on solving this problem, and at very least if she does jump the gun and poison the well behind your back, you’ll know who to blame when you tell the guards.

And what is her personal interest in clearing this well? Clearly the whole city of Kvatch is not dying of thirst, so there must be other sources of water. Is this her well? Does she just really have it in for slaughterfish?

While you wait for a bite, you decide to strike up a conversation with the woman. If she’s trying to clean out the well, you assume she’s a groundskeeper for the Count?

Oh, no, she says. She’s just visiting town. Supposed to meet someone here; very hush-hush, don’t worry about it. It’s just, she heard about the slaughterfish in this well, and thought someone ought to do something about them. Figured… figured she’d try to help out, despite being utterly unqualified, a little clueless, and likely to cause grievous harm to herself or others.

Ah, yeah, you’ve totally been there before. But don’t worry, you’ve got this under control.

There’s a bite now! Time to reel it in. Honestly, you don’t see the big deal here. I mean, it’s just some fish in a well.

Slaughterfish, she corrects you. They hate everything.

Oh. Right. You tell her you read about them in a book once. Though it didn’t actually give any tips on getting rid of them.

TheSpaz wrote:
Try sharpening the stick into some makeshift spear (or have someone else do it) and tie it to the well rope and start throwing away

But it’s cool, you have plenty of other ideas! Maybe you’ll, like, harpoon those suckers. Piece of cake.

Ah, this should do it.

You confess you don’t have a very good throwing arm.

And are maybe not the best spear-crafter.

DayDream wrote:
Katia should run over to the church, get a quick recharge/blessing, and then attempt to fry those fish.


You tell the woman that it looks like you’re going to need magic for this. Which, for you, means finding some spells to absorb. So, um, wait here, and don’t poison the well. You’re gonna shuffle off to the chapel real fast; see if you can get a quick heal or somethi-


Oh. You know healing magic, then?

The woman says the need comes up frequently in her line of work. Too frequently. Think you can take care of those fish now?

Shouldn’t be a problem, you say! Those fish are as good as toast. You tell the woman to stand back while you think up a bunch of derogatory cat jokes to power your magic.

Alkair wrote:
Katia: is the kitty gona catch the fishy in a barrel or not?
Isn’t catching Fish your favorite dish beside mice?
Come on! there are plenty mice to crawl around and you are hungry.
And besides… “A cat saved the town, no fish was spared.”
That is the title you are looking for as a mighty mage?

That should do the trick.

… or not.

You… you do know the fish are underwater, right? The woman says she’s no expert, but she doesn’t think fire works underwater.

You explain that you were trying to kill the fish by boiling the water.

The woman asks if you’ve ever boiled water before.

Sure, you say. I mean, a pot over a fire, anyway. Boiling a well can’t be… that much different, right?

  • John Rochard

    Man, those slaughterfish sure pack a punch. Certainly did not expected them to smash that bucket to pieces so easily.

    • Dormoose

      Reminded me of the part in Jurassic Park where they feed the raptors.

      • Nameloc

        “Alright, who’s hungry?”

        • Autonomous

          *Stares at Jello* O.O

          • Thornclaw

            Well (Lol), I’m not that hungry. OO

  • Faek

    I think it might be time for Katia to learn some shock spells. To the Mages Guild !!! (extra exclamation marks because you know, its the mages guild!)

    • Thornclaw


    • MnemonicJohnny

      Uh, spells cost money. Money that we don’t have.

  • Jay

    How did those slaughterfish get in there, anyway?

    • Liquid Dinosaur

      I dunno, the well connects to some cavern connected to a river? Maybe Katia could ask Quill Weave. If anyone knows how to get deadly predatory animals into a walled population center, it’s her.

      • Thornclaw

        Was that supposed to be funny?

        • Kire

          No, just true.

          • Thornclaw

            Actually, your right. She would.

          • Sharky

            Its meant to be funny because in oblivion for one of your first fighters guild quests, quill-weave is tracking mountain lions in to some crazy lat-lady’s house so she can make them eat her rats.
            Of course she didnt actually want mountain lions in the basement…lol

  • Kvok

    Katia: become thundercat!

  • tronn

    Oh god what is she doing with that axe?
    Remember kids, always cut away>/b> from your hand, not towards.

    • Tormuse

      Yeah, considering her track record, I’m amazed she didn’t cut her paw while doing that! ๐Ÿ˜

  • tronn

    and always close your tags!

  • Phineas

    Take some broken cobblestone from a nearby wall/walkway. Get a couple nice, heavy pieces.
    Drop them on those bastard fish.
    Crush their craniums with cobblestone hail!
    Then, have the nice young woman at the Kvatch Mages Guild levitate the rocks out of the well.
    I assume she knows levitation, since she seems to be a very good mage. A bit deceitful and reclusive, but it would take a good mage to win over the town and single handily run a guild hall.
    I just hope she doesn’t turn out to be the vampire…

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      *cough* Jeanne Frasoric *cough* It doesn’t take much to run a guildhall.

      • Nameloc

        I wasn’t surprised when the Bruma mage hall was*SPOILER*

        • Thornclaw

          Me neither.

  • unci

    You do have a piece of string and something that you can bend into a hook, right? Now you just need a bait and you can angle.

  • Malefactor

    In be4 katia fails to kill the fish

  • The Nerevarine

    Normally, I would suggest jumping down the well and bringing the fight to the slaughterfish, I realize that just because I myself would do something doesn’t mean that you can, Katia. Since I am in posession of two levitation artifacts I would find it trivial to escape from the pit I have thrown myself in.
    Under no circumstances should you yourself go down that well Katia. As demonstrated by that bucket, slaughterfish have extremely powerful jaws and long razor-sharp teeth. Damn things even took a hunk out of my glass shield once. I shall have to ponder what advice I can give your for your situation.

    • The Nerevarine

      Oh dear, it appears that I neglected to add the finished touches to the close bracket. Under normal circumstances, only the first instance of the word ‘you’ should be italicized.

      • CaptBighead

        You understand that this doesn’t actually leave commands that will get considered for the story? You have to go to the forum to do that…

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          Of course he does, he’s the NEREVARINE. But actually, he was just stating what, in his own opinion, Katia should NOT do. I saw no indication he was submitting/trying to submit a command… after all, what kind of command is “I got nothin’, but i’ll try and think of something”?

          • Reohajj

            He or she. Legends on the Nerevarine are sketchy involving his or her gender, though most assume male.

          • Nameloc

            He/she was definitely an out-lander, I know that much. Seriously, why aren’t there any good records on the Heroes of Tamriel? These historians are incompetent.

          • The Nerevarine

            It may have had something to do with the volcanic eruption not long ago. I have been trying to contact people of my acquaintance but the only one I have found thus far is Crassius, and I don’t particularly want to talk to him. I hope Nibani, Sul-Matuul, and all the rest have survived. However, I am finding it hard to go anywhere. The whole island has more or less become like the Molag Amur.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Why all this he/she stuff when the Nerevarine is RIGHT HERE?? Hey Nerevarine, are you a he or a she? Or *gasp* BOTH? O_O

          • The Nerevarine

            I am a ‘he’, though through my rocky acquaintance with the Daedric Lords I have seen many many Incarnates. Suffice it to say that I am the Nerevarine, but that does not mean I am the only Nerevarine. I find it best not to question how it works. I’d ask Vivec, but that bastard disappeared.

          • Vivec

            The dragon has no fixed points. It swirls as petals in the fog, accreting around each stage in turn; and the paths diverge, fork and converge again, forging the ephemeral landscape of Mephala’s art. To forget even a skylamp’s fall is a glorious tragedy, but as it remains unanchored in formal histories, it can be seen time and again by those with love.

  • KingBlackLion

    Well… I was kinda hoping that magical fire defied normal physics and Katia would roasty-toasty those Slaughterfish. Hmmm…

    • The Nerevarine

      In my experience, fire magic has always worked underwater.

      • Slatt

        Under water, yes. She’s above the water. We’ve got the tension of the water’s surface to deal with.

        • Thornclaw


      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        I thought that touch magic worked underwater, but projectiles didn’t.

  • Unanonymous

    Luckily, slaughterfish are only dangerous when you’re IN the water. Do whatever you want while you’re up there but the moment a single hair of your body touches the surface they become magnetized to your face.

    • Ch’marr

      Slaughterfish sure are ferrouscious.

      • Link


        I felt that joke needed one of those to help it out.

        • Thornclaw

          Not necessary to jest about cats ALL the time is it? I’m a cat fan, and already I’m ready to start burning my curtains every time someone makes a cringe-worthy pun.

          • Ch’marr

            At least it wasn’t a cat-related pun… a kitticism, you might say.

  • Peddwyr

    Ask the woman to gently lower you into the well with the rope, stopping a short distance from the water. Once you’re down there, increase your Blade skill by hacking mercilessly at the slaughterfish, which will be unable to attack you back since you’re not in the water. Once they are sufficiently dead, make sure to collect their scales for alchemical purposes. As long as you’re tied to the rope, you may as well check out what’s under the water; valuables are probably dropped all the time. Then politely ask the woman to raise you back out of the well with the winch.

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      Using her machete on the slaughterfish would increase her Blunt skill, not her Blade skill. Why, you ask? I’m not sure, ask Bethesda

      • Ch’marr

        Perhaps something to do with what Betashed were smoking at the time ?


    • EdgedWeapon

      DON’T go down into the water – you remember what they did to the bucket? Find a scroll of shock or something and use that to kill the fish. If you ask the mages guild nicely I’m sure they’d loan you one as part of a community service.

      Once that’s done, climb/get lowered down into the well and grab the dead slaughterfish. You could sell their remains (scales, meat, teeth, etc) for money. And ask the crazy alchemist woman (CAW) to teach you how to cast a healing spell. That would definitely help you get into the mages guild; you can never have too many healers.

    • Lu

      Peeeeerhaps that is not such a good idea as the woman might be Mythic Dawn?

  • Zeratox93

    Throw some stones into the well. Maybe this will work ….

  • JustSomeRandomGuy

    OK, I know this should be in the forum, but it’s down for maintainence. If it comes back up i’ll re-post this there I guess.
    What you need to do is get some stones, about 5 pounds or so each. Arrange them on the edge of the well and pile some sticks and stuff around them. Then you just need to use your fireballs to start the wood, and heat those rocks up. Once the rocks are nice and hot, use the makeshift spear to push them into the well. This probably won’t boil the water, but it WILL (or should I say may) cause thermal shock to the slaughterfish and kill them. But don’t try this unless the well roof thingy is removable or you can find some safe way to lift the stones into the well. And don’t expect instant results. It will probably take the fishies a few hours to die.

  • Byrd

    (Since the forum appears to be down)

    Bend the fork into a hook shape, apply blood, catch fish.

  • JJA

    Also using comments temporarily:

    Katia – however you manage to structure compensation for this sidequest, see if you can get this woman to teach you her healing spell. It will come in immensely handy for you and is more important than any septims you might earn from the fish scales.

  • Slatt

    Aw what!? The ballgag is gone? I always thought it’d have a greater role to play…

    • Thornclaw

      I think it should be a second hero and assist her throughout the rest of the story. : )

  • CaptBighead

    That totally wasn’t a healing spell. That was soul trap. She’s a Mythic Dawn Agent.

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      Nah, the mythic dawn wouldn’t soul trap people. But the necromancer branch of the mage’s guild might…

      • CaptBighead

        I’m thinking she’s Mythic Dawn. Whether or not the spell is soul trap, it doesn’t look like a healing spell. It’s purple. What healing spell is purple? ๐Ÿ˜›

        I said soul trap because it actually IS purple and wouldn’t show any other sort of effects on the person.

        • JC 042

          That was probably a very minor shock spell, and the other Mythic Dawn are like a week away like the guy outside the city said.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Also, what would be the point of launching a full-scale daedric invasion if you’d poisoned everyone the week before?

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      Wait a second… if you watch the spell, it’s white, and only turns purple AFTER it hits Katia. So i think the effect is “Spell Absorption” and we’ve been over-thinking this WAY too much. Let’s ask the mighty and respected author. Kazerad the Great, is this so?

      • Kazerad

        Yes, my servant, it is so.

        The purple flash for spell absorption appears back in the imp fight as well. Of course, you can still debate whether that was actually a healing spell Katia absorbed.

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          YAY! I figured out… a basic spell effect. Oh well, better than nothing.

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          I’ll take advantage of the ambiguity you’ve left us and say that it was indeed a healing spell. Because Katia said it was. and she was the one who got the spell cast on her.

          • Thornclaw

            Yup, you would have thought if she had her soul sucked out, then she wouldn’t have felt healed. BIG difference.

          • patrick

            soul trap does not actually take your soul right away. the victim must die within a certain amount of time after said spell is cast on said victim.

  • Silver

    Well Katia, there is another type of poison that will kill the fish painlessly, quickly(scoring points with the divines) and that won’t harm any of the towns folk…. And I’m pretty sure you know the kind of poison I’m talking about. Alcohol. Booze. Hooch. Red eye. Devil piss. Gut Rott. A fitting and symbolic gesture of your first action to make things better(quill doesn’t count since you caused the problem) by pouring your vice down a well for the greater good. Go swing by a store real quick and bye the last drink you’ll ever need.

    Ps: make sure it’s cheap and strong.

    Psps: for fuck sakes don’t drink it.

  • Fruckert

    Crazy lady is in the Mythic Dawn, isn’t she?

    • CaptBighead

      Methinks so ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Nameloc

        I highly doubt it. The Mythic Dawns’ objective was to show their might, as well as kill *SPOILER*. A simple poisoned well isn’t exactly mighty, and they might not even get their target. Methinks she is incompetent, or a Dark Brotherhood assassin. Or an incompetent Dark Brotherhood assassin, like those idiots who try to kill me in Skyrim.

  • Elad

    Maybe the crazy lady is right. Maybe poisoning the well IS the best idea. Because those fish would definitely be dead if you did that. Think about it.

  • smilee62991

    Why didn’t her eyes bleed when she had darkvision on and was looking at the woman?

    • Ch’marr

      Look again, they are bleeding… a little more subtly this time.

  • Thrisk

    katia: Ask the lady if there is any electricity tomes nearby, or pick up some rocks to throw at the slaughterfish!

  • Alliha

    Well. fuck.

  • Anonymous Prime

    A fireball won’t work on this one girl, not enough heat.
    Katia, focus on this one. Instead of shooting a ball of fire, imagine shooting a long flowing stream of it. A long continuous stream should get those fish nice and hot.

    • The Nerevarine

      Sir, do you have some problems? A burning sensation perhaps? I won’t judge, but I find a simple potion of cure disease will take care of that. Perhaps a potion of cure blight.

      • Thornclaw

        Amusing, but not neccesary. (Not that I’m fit to judge)

  • Milos the Argonian

    At least it’s nice to see that Katia has such good control over her fire magic now =D

    Chose a good time to start reading this, new page came out the day after I finished reading through what already existed >=D

  • LiquidDinosaur

    Why wouldn’t the Mythic Dawn soul trap people? All enchanted items need souls in soul gems to work, and the Mythic Dawn has enchanted stuff. Of course, using people’s souls is illegal and unnecessary.

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      I believe that the Mythic Dawn wouldn’t soul trap people because they worship Mehrunes Dagon. One of the reasons he’s invading Tamriel in the first place is because he likes killing people. And he finds it more entertaining than killing daedra because people can be killed permanantly, due to the nature of our souls. And I doubt his followers would be willing to risk interfering with his games. Also, to trap a human soul you need a black soul gem. And necromancers are (presumably) the only ones with the altars necessary to make them. So the Mythic Dawn shouldn’t have black soul gems lying around. (I would appreciate fact-checking from those more familiar with Elder Scrolls lore than I am. I get most of my info from playing the games, and the rest from occasional wiki checks.)

  • Alkair

    Im still with the mice plan for food.
    And the title is worth it?: D
    “kitty fish killer, ruler of the wells” ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Thornclaw

      yeah maybe KATIA the fish killer, ruler of wells. because cat jests are crap.

  • Titanium

    You know, since Katia seems to produce so much (eye)blood, maybe she could arrange a sort of economic diplomatic transaction with the vampire what am I saying.

    • Thornclaw

      Earn money by burning her eyes and selling it to the vampire? Plausible but painful.

  • JustSomeRandomGuy

    What’s the big deal with the slaughterfish anyway? I don’t think a person could tell any difference in the water, and for a Khajiit they would just give it a nice bouquet

    • Thornclaw

      THAT I agree with. well, apart from the fact this is Katia we are talking about, and so she’d probably just get eaten. I mean, Ra’sava, my character would do it for fun any day, but this is Katia.

    • Pteryxx

      People kind of need to dip something IN the well to get the water out, though. And have that thing come back up in one piece…

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        Well, the only bucket we’ve seen dipped in the well had a blood-smeared ballgag tied to it. So we’re in no way sure they would do that to a NORMAL bucket, now are we?

        • The Nerevarine

          I have to stop you there. I have found that slaughterfish attack ANYTHING. And I mean anything. Other fish, rocks, seaweed, me, dreugh, hulls of ships, other slaughterfish, the list can be as endless as the sea. I even once lost a letter I had been writing when a gust of wind blew it overboard and then a slaughterfish swam up and ate it.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Well, in that case all Katia needs to do is find a really jagged pointy shard of metal and lower it on the rope. When the slaughterfish attacks it, voila. Instant stupid-cide.

  • Reaper

    If you ask the lady with poison, she may have a cure potion if so poison the well let no one drink for like a 30 sec’s then cure the well.

  • Reaper

    Ask the lady with poison if she has a cure potion if so poison the well then cure it after there dead and you have the bodys out so they don’t rot. if not run to the church and ask for a way to cure the water. p.s. you look lovely to day, and be careful with who you trust the last few strangers have not turned out so well.

  • Reaper

    AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH sorry my computer messed up did not mean for a double post!!!!!!!

  • Caerdwyn

    Um, Katia dear, you DO realize that if you chuck a fireball down the well while you’re leaning over it, the backblast is going to bitchslap your face hotter than opening a 500-degree oven to check if the souffle is done yet…

    • Thornclaw

      Why bitchslap? hit by a dog? are you insulting women? I mean what? why?

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        Well, being hit by a dog would make sense, as she’s a cat-person…

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          Stupid> italics…

          • JustSomeRandomGuy


          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Ok, one more time… this word should be italic and no others.

  • Bad_Skeelz

    Katia really shouldn’t cut towards her hand. That’s a good way to lose a finger.

    And it’s a good thing these aren’t Skyrim Slaughterfish. I’ve found them to be so terrifying that I can’t even fight back against them in the water! Katia would be doomed if she jumped in to tangle with them.

    • Nameloc

      I’ve had one of those bastards chase me on land. Not a pleasant experience.

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        I found an oblivion slaughterfish on land once. It was HILARIOUS. They flop around in the most amusing way. And if you have a paralyze spell you can have all kinds of fun at the fishy’s expense. I spent like 20 minutes letting one flop around while my magicka got recharged, and each time it did i’d hit it with the spell and yell “STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!” at my computer. Twisted? A little. Childish? Definitely. Fun? HELL YES.

  • Guillebon

    Check if there’s any kind of mutant turtle-like individual living in the well, maybe he can help you.

  • Steppa

    Dammit Kaita, you are a cat. Make with the static electricity already to power lightning spells. What is all that fur for anyway.

    • Thornclaw

      for keeping you warm, dur.

  • ==> Katia: Ask a random bow-wielding guard to help you, maybe shooting few blind arrows into the well would get the job done.

  • Ulfric

    Yeah… You may want to think about leaving to the Mages Guild for a while to learn a lightning spell or you could ask the semi-nice lady to teach you one…

  • Fily84

    Are those Rumare Slaughterfish? XD

  • DominicanKing614

    You ever think about trying something other than a fire spell Katia ? … I know you are a beginner and all but maybe if you thought or imagined lightning or thunder or something instead or burning or heat, that maybe you could produced Shock magic instead of Flames ?

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      She’s not nearly at that level of magic control yet. She still has to think of “sick cat burns” (I.E. mostly terrible puns) to get her magic to work at all…

  • Someone Somewhere

    I can’t tell all of you how often I was screaming “BIRD JOKES/PUNS/RACISM!”

    Seriously, remember when that bad bird remark made her amulet flash? Try that! What’s to lose, we may learn a new spell out of it. Lightning is my guess, fry those suckers!

    • Eternity08

      So, different animal-based puns/burns elicit different spell effects?

      Considering all the… stuff, that has happened so far, that sounds strangely plausible.
      Also, which page does that bird pun come from?

      • Jadav

        It’s the page when she asks quill-weave if she can sleep in her house before she journeys to kvatch with asotil in the morning ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Sheogorath

    Quick question, have we tried cheese? Everybody loves cheese! that’s probably why the Slaughterfish are in the well to begin with, they seek the delicious cheese. Or maybe they’re just stuck down there for no particular reason and I’m reading waay too much into this. After all, we can’t just hand the cheese out willy-nilly, that would leave none for the victory celebration!

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      You have inspired me, Lord Sheogorath! Here’s what Katia must do: She must tell each slaughterfish that all the other slaughterfish have cheese and are hiding it. This will cause htem all to turn on each other, leaving only one (hopefully mortally wounded) slaughterfish alive! The best part? Katia doesn’t need to actually HAVE any cheese! But, you may say, isn’t it crazy to try and talk to a fish? Of course, but this idea was inspired by Sheogorath, so what did you expect?

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        *GASP* a typo! I shall be ruined!! RUINED!!!!!

        • Sheogorath

          You really should consider hiring a servant or two, Haskill double checks all of my posts before I post them. Hmm now there’s a question, is what you say a post before you post it? Brother Dagon might know, but he just tends to want to destroy things he doesn’t understand, he’s no fun.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            I believe it’s a draft until you post it. Maybe.

  • Katiafan

    Nooo! Now the ball gag is broken/has giant bite out of it. And that was my favorite “nudgenudgewinkwink” prop too!

    • Thornclaw

      hmmm… I smell a joke. A bad one.

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        Your wish is my command!
        I guess things got just a little too rough… (winkwinknudgenudge)

      • Ch’marr

        And I wasn’t involved this time! Forsooth!

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          Nonsense, feel free to jump in! Everyone’s welcome, in fact! Just come up with the worst “broken ballgag” joke you can and post it

          • the crickets

            *and then sadly nobody did or really cared*

  • Dr. Wilberforce

    Hmmmm….. Well not a problem, i’m sure the deranged women knows now not to use poision on the well. We’ll have to come back to this another time.

    Spark spells and electricity casting spells are quit cheap, I think the mages guild might be able to supply you with these spells for money. equipped with a larger assortement of spells, you’ll be able to tackle many more vexations the towns people maybe harrased with.

    gaining these spells and then introducing them in practice with the townsfolks would be a wonderful first impression and earn great respect…. AND CASH!

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      And let’s not forget that having a shock spell would be a great help if she ever meets-
      Gro-Upp again. You know, in case he decides to get his KILL on, if you know what he’s saying.
      Oh, what’s the use. Ever since (we think) he killed Dmitri I just hate Gro-Upp.

      • Dr. Wilberforce

        True, very true. I’m sure Dmitri isn’t dead, he is afterall a necromancer; i’m almost posotive his friends further down below their sanctuary wouldn’t just let their colleages rot away, he has a bigger role to play in this adventure i can feel it. Who knows dying for him may become, or has always been a frequent issue.

        • JustSomeRandomGuy

          PLEASE KAZERAD, DON’T HAVE DMITRI BE REALLY DEAD!!!!! *pathetic sobbing*
          ok, pointless begging finished.

          • The Nerevarine

            I don’t know how to tell you this… but I find that when one has their throat cut and now has one’s lifeblood flowing like a waterfall, there is usually no going back. I myself have never experienced this, but some of the people I have fought beside have. As well as some of those who choose to array themselves against me.
            What I’m trying to say is…. Dmitri has gone to a ….better place. One with kittens aplenty.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            But maybe he just had his throat KINDA slashed. I mean, after he fell to the ground the blood on his robe seemed to be all there was. If that was a fatal wound that whole ROOM would have been covered with the stuff. Jugular/Carotid wounds are pretty big gushers. Big ol’ jets of blood, real messy stuff. Try pouring a gallon of water on the floor sometime. That’s (more or less) how much blood is in someone’s system at any given time. And when someone bleeds to death, like from a neck slash, most of it leaks out.

          • The Nerevarine

            I don’t believe your throat can be “kinda” slashed. And unless you’re quick, you will bleed out in seconds. Unless he happened to have a potion of healing on his person, because any farther than that would surely mean death.

          • JustSomeRandomGuy

            Of course your throat can be “kinda” slashed. If you don’t get slashed deep enough, it misses the important bits and “It’s just a flesh wound”, as the saying goes. And those pictures didn’t seem to show him bleeding out.

  • Cam

    Katia, perhaps you should ask this woman where she’s from! She seems to have similar life problems to you, so perhaps her group can help you out!

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      Problems, yes. Solutions, not so much. If she is in a group, they’re probably not helping her enough to bother with…

    • Illidan

      Oh god no, a group of slutsadventurers looking for redemption?

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        See? Even just SAYING it is a bad idea…

  • Illidan

    Is this woman Katia Fucking Managan 2.0?

    • Lerigonith

      Blasphemy! There can only be ONE Katia Fucking Managan!

  • hehe great 4th panel moment there. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Ashera

    Go back to the Mage’s guild and see if anyone can teach you a shock spell.

  • Wish

    Katia use Thunderbolt!

  • chris

    Get some thermite.
    Thermite is 8 grams of iron oxide to 3 grams of aluminum.

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      What about magnesium?

  • James Rye

    I know it might sound totally stupid:

    But shouldnยดt Katia find out who put in those slaughterfish into the well? I mean, they didnยดt hop into a well themselves, do they?

    Detective Katia, that would be a nice job on her job list as well. XD

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      No, that actually sounds totally reasonable. Which is why Katia should by no means attempt this. Give Katia Fucking Managen a complex task and she’s going to fuck up- well, a lot. Removing the fish is all she needs on her mind. At least she can’t mess THAT up too badly. She’s already succeeded once today and she doesn’t need to press her luck.

  • Shadow Akeno

    See if you have the ‘Sparks’ Spell then shock the fish

  • Duhlicious

    using flame heat up heavy rocks until very hot, tip em into well, many will heat water to unbearable for fish, and the rest shall crush fish.

    • chris

      Wet stone heated up can explode .

      • c

        even better

  • Omen

    Look around, surely you can find a piece of wire to bend and sharpen into a hook. The fish hate anything so surely they will attack the hook, put a little more blood on the tip and reel them in.
    If that doesn’t work, go talk to people around town. Surely there’s someone who is familiar with the fish and how to get rid of them.

  • Omen

    You’re on the right track Katia, go ask if you can borrow a large pot and use your magic to boil some water in it. Then pour it down into the well, it should kill the fish.

  • Felidire

    I’d totally go and ask the orphanage matron if I could lend one of her fireworks. Just have turn it upside down, pretend the fish are kites and the rest works itself.

    • Evil Argonian

      Epic. Just Epic. Plus some serious splashing, well damage, and trouble from the town guards. But still, Epic.

  • OldSchoolRPGDude

    Since this is the story commentary section, I’ll try to be as brief and to-the-point as possible. I still love the strip — however, I’m facing a dilemma with the material at the moment:

    There are many themes that have been used so far — irony, silliness, cuteness, innocence, etc.. The most pervasive comedic device has been discomfort / awkwardness based off of incompetence / ineptitude / failure. Other very popular entertainment productions use the same device along with parody (e.g. The Venture Brothers) with great success.

    However, there comes a time where this element can be played up too much — and the story devolves into the struggles of hyperbolic boobs who labor to tie their shoes or not swallow their tongues. The characters become such unconvincing, unbelievable failures that the audience falls out of suspended disbelief, and just starts anticipating the next ridiculous or impossible calamity.

    That being said, I would hope that things would shift gears here soon. There are a plethora of loose threads that yearn for elaboration, and a multitude of other characters which can be used for cutaway scenes. Similarly, I hope that Katia does not transition out of her current predicament using historical formulaic / predictable methods (e.g. internal pep-talk -> surprise success, internal pep-talk -> crashing failure).

    The bottom line is you’ve worked up your readers’ imaginations to the point where we have projected a myriad of different, exciting possibilities in Kvatch, involving a wide array of characters. This is a wonderful thing!! However, helping a complete stranger remove fish from a well is very low on that list — right above “helping a stranger file their taxes”, and right below “helping a stranger stab a tax collector in the face”.

    I eagerly await the next installment. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into this marvelous creation, and for sharing it with everyone.

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      “Help stab a tax collector in the face”.
      ^This needs to happen.

  • JustSomeRandomGuy

    I have a foolproof idea! Katia should murder the snooty innkeeper and throw her body in the well. Anything that tries to eat THAT is toast.

  • Yuri


  • Thiefling

    > Go to the Mage’s Guild! Surely they can teach you some other spell besides, uh, fireballs. Maybe. Hopefully. alternatively, go to the Fighter’s Guild and try and convince one of the fighters there to go into the well and kill some slaughterfish.

    Use your adorable eyes for great effect here. I mean, they’re battlehardened fighters, surely your eyes will melt their hearts! Obviously.

  • MrSqudion


    FIRE MAGIC, “KIND OF COOL” But if you want to fry them fish you gotta get some Electricity pumpin’ through them fleshy tendrils of yours. Since you are but a poor peasant might as well ask miss “Poison touch” if she knows anyone with electric powers. Then drag that person here to do the community a great favor by making them pump some electricity through them fish mongrels.

  • Jude Prudence

    First Dmitri dies and now the ballgag.



    rip ballgag rip

    • OldSchoolRPGDude

      You, sir, Simply Rock. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • SporeVenom

    So…. it’s been awhile since the last update. Is one coming soon? (Like tomorrow?)

    • Janx

      ^ This.

  • Blaze

    You should….um, there could possibly be other tasks for you to pursue around the province, y’know.
    Why don’t you……..aid this woman with her….um, well after you have acquired the proper apparatuses?

    • Blaze

      I….also applaud you for your efforts at pyromancy. I was born inherent with the gift of flames, and I have chosen to use it for the benefit of my people; I hope in that you may use your gift to better others as well.

  • Arinot

    … borrow a bow and some arrows from someone? get someone who can fire a bow?

    I mean it’s practically shooting fish in a barrel well

    or electricity… but all you know is how to conjure fire

  • Murrlin

    >Katia: Disregard the thought of boiling water in the well, for some folks prefer their water at neutral temperatures.

  • Seelcudoom

    i think she needs to find sheorgoraths shrine, she has voices in her head

    • Sheogorath

      How do ya think the voices in her head started? Poor little Katia was born right here in the Isles! In the land of Mania to be exact, or was it Dementia? I can never remember these things. Eh, the point is she was born in my realm, then her parents moved to hammerfell and hid that little fact from her.

  • TB Tabby

    Boil that water! The fish get cooked, any germs they might have had will be killed, and it won’t take long to cool down.

  • Peterdivine

    Hmm… why are there so many oily rags around town?

    And… corn…

    …. Oh my God, we could make popcorn.

    We could make lots and lots of popcorn.

    • Dousiq

      I liked the Incendiary baby idea better.

  • 4whomdabelltolls

    you have to stop thinking like a mage and start thinking like a fisherman. fishermen trick fish into impaling themselves on sharp objects connected to a rope so they can be reeled back in. all you have to do is take something small and sharp enough for the slaughterfish to bite or swallow, but strong enough so that they are impaled on it rather than bite through it. like a peice of wood with a bunch of nails on it, or you could get them to eat glass if you can find a non-poison filled bottle, or you know, use a fishhook.

  • Bluescale

    Leaving dead fish to rot in the drinking watter isn’t going to work out so well, I believe.

  • StClair

    So did anyone else have a “holy CRAP” moment when seeing what the slaughterfish did to the bucket and gag?

    And while I know this isn’t the right forum for it, I’m gonna go with everyone suggesting a switch to Shock.

    • OldSchoolRPGDude

      You mean “holy CARP” moment.

      • Felidire

        oh my cod.. <3

        • OldSchoolRPGDude

          *thumbs up* ๐Ÿ˜€

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        Sir, you are ofishially the funniest punster on this page

        • OldSchoolRPGDude


          I’m glad you appreciate in this type of humor. Some people think it’s a pain in the bass.

  • bouncie

    More prequel, more fun! Aaaaaay.
    I can’t wait for the next update :DDDD

    • xwinnor


  • Mai’q the Liar

    Mai’q thinks you should tell the fish of gold… much gold. Fish enjoy gold, yes? Mai’q enjoys gold. AND Mai’q is willing to help out a fellow Khajiit.

    • Mai’q the Liar

      Mai’q’s uncle said that at least. Well, it MIGHT have been Mai’q’s uncle. Perhaps Mai’q’s father.

      • Nameloc

        Or Mai’q’s father’s father.

  • Gnoll

    Katia: You have everything you need to CATch those slaughterfish. First of all take the broken bucket and remove the wood. What do you have? The rope and the metal handle. You can make a big fishhook with it, just sharp one tip of the handle in the rocks of the well, then you can use the hole in the pieces of wood from the bucket to bend the handle and make it in the shape of a hook, in the other end you bend it to make a ring where you’ll tie the hope. It’s done, now for the bait you can use a piece of leather from your old, and shamefull, ball gag and pierce it in the hook and put some blood on it to attract your prey. Be carefull to not put the rope on the water or you can loose your hook, pay attention and everything will be fine.

  • perkins

    where are the dead bodies going to end up if you just kill the slaughterfish?
    you should take a moment to think about that before you continue this course of action….

    • Felidire

      You could always just scoop them out with the bucket after they’re dead… Unless their unbridled fury persists even through death. >_>;;

  • Fily84

    Damn holidays ๐Ÿ˜€

    • JustSomeRandomGuy

      I know, right? Next I suppose Kazerad will tell us that he/she/them/it actually has a life and doesn’t exist for the sole purpose of updating Prequel. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Dousiq

        Seriously, the tricks webcomic artists try to pull over on us…

        But seriously if you wanna rage about update times, go read “Gone with the Blast Wave.” The artist updates once a year. ONCE A YEAR. And it’s such a cool comic too.

  • OldSchoolRPGDude

    Kazerad must find some way to stop Christmas from coming!

  • Evil Argonian

    I just started reading this, like, two days ago and am already eagerly awaiting the next update. This is awesome.

    • Evil Argonian

      Umm… why does it think it’s 1:53? weird. It’s 8:55 (PM).

      • JustSomeRandomGuy

        Well, if you read a physics handbook once in a while, it would most likely confuse the hell out of you. However, I believe the time zone for this website is in the UK.

        • Evil Argonian

          oh, thanks man.

  • Cerulean Starlight

    >They hate everything
    This sentence lacks a period.

    • Kazerad

      Not for long! Thanks.

  • Rutsber

    “You about them in book once” should be in a book. Under 4th panel.

    • Kazerad

      Ack, corrected!

  • dtlux14