Mar 242014

Johnnaman wrote:
>Be Slutcat

LimeBreaker wrote:
You solved the puzzle! That means you can flip the table!

While you can appreciate the table flipping thing on a symbolic level, this table still weighs like two hundred pounds. It’s not going anywhere.

Contrast wrote:
Raise an eyebrow, then ask if the weird ghost is referring to your flaky Telekinesis, which is barely capable of flipping a breadstick even under the best of circumstances.

You turn your attention back to the ghost and ask if he means, like… telekinesis?

Exactly, he says! The baguettes and butter of any witchhunter’s arsenal! It’s the most basic, most elegant, and most useful form of mysticism: the art of taking something that shouldn’t move, and respectfully disagreeing with its questionable life choices. The simple act of making something happen just because it’s possible, not because it’s likely. Surely, you have experience with it?

You’ve, ah, knocked some things over, you explain. One time you flipped some pews in a burning chapel, but you were in kind of a bad place and don’t think you could do it again. It’s not something you can really control.

No, the ghost says, it’s something you don’t know how to control. You should’ve learned by now that what you know and what is real don’t necessarily overlap.

InnerLioness wrote:

Slajmo wrote:
You solved the puzzle Katia, now flip the table!

Alright, so the telekinesis is something you don’t know how to control. That doesn’t make it any better. You don’t exactly have access to any kind of training, and you don’t really know where to begin figuring this stuff out on your own.

The guardian spirit raises a ghostly eyebrow. Surely, if you’ve used telekinesis before, you found something that worked.

You, er, confess that when you used telekinesis in the past, it was by coming up with obscure derogatory puns comparing yourself to any animal besides a cat. Usually a bird.

Bird puns, he asks. Yeah, you say. That’s the kind of shit people do for destruction magic, not mysticism, he says. Well you’re sorry, you say. It’s almost like you’re a homeless immigrant with no formal magic education who has no way of knowing this stuff. Honestly, he says, it’d be impressive if you could even knock over a domino using your telekinesis in such a brutish way.

So how am I supposed to do it, you ask?

Like a witchhunter, he replies. Rather than pushing with sheer force of will, push with your mind! Give something a reason to move, rather than supplying the force yourself. Your old angle may have been brutish, but you found something that works. You just have to refine it into something that works well.

So… you want me to reverse-engineer nonsensical bird puns into a cohesive reason that inanimate objects should be able to move by their own free will?

Exactly! And look, there is even an unsolved puzzle on this table! You should solve it telekinetically, he says. I just solved that puzzle literally two minutes ago, you say. The ghost says he doesn’t remember that and he thinks you’re making it up.

Contrast wrote:
If he is indeed referring to your flaky Telekinesis, remember to take off your amulet before you attempt to cast it. Wouldn’t want to look stupid.

Radar wrote:
Take off that amulet. You got some magic to do!

As soon as you reach for your amulet, the ghost holds up a hand to stop you.

Woah woah woah, he says. Is that an amulet of silence?

Yeah, you say. Is that a… problem?

No, he says. In fact, that’s a good thing. Why don’t you keep that on?

Be…cause you need to take it off to cast spells, you say.

The ghost says he’s not asking you to cast a spell. He’s asking you to use magic. An amulet’s not going to stop that.

Pradd wrote:
tell about incident with uncontrolled fire.

Wait, hold on a second. You’re saying that an amulet of silence, even when it’s working fine, doesn’t stop all magic?

Well, yeah, he says. If a silencing spell stopped all magic, then it would instantly kill ghosts, daedra, imps, vampires, wisps, or any other kind of magical creature – maybe even Khajiit. All a silencing spell does is keep you from guiding your magic into complex spells.

So if I was, say, wearing an amulet of silence, and then everything around me started uncontrollably catching on fire, even things that shouldn’t burn, that’s… normal?

No, he says, that’s fucking weird. But it’s possible.

It’s like… imagine your magic is a horse. No, a unicorn! This entire analogy just works better with a unicorn.

Maybe you trained it a little, and maybe you keep it in a stable when you’re not using it, but this unicorn is still out there doing its own thing. And if there is a bridge or something over a road, it can just run right under it. Its horn might scrape along the bottom and make some sparks if its head is too high, but that’s not going to stop a fucking unicorn.

But when you stick a rider on that unicorn, all of a sudden those bridges become a problem. You have more control over what the unicorn does, but you’re gonna waste a ton of energy trying to not fall off of it and also if you try to go under a low bridge it is probably going to take your head off. That’s not a mistake I’m making a second time.

Anyway, I think the bridge stood for something you were talking about, but I don’t remember what. I remember my analogy was amazingly apt, though. That’s basically how you have to look at things if you want to use telekinesis proper.

woundedkneecap wrote:
Use magic! Yeah, magic! Wait! The only magic you know is the kind that burns things down. Katia, ask Aggy how you are supposed to move the pieces with magic.

So… what you’re saying is that to use telekinesis, the most basic piece of mysticism, I need to reverse engineer bird puns into a logical argument for why inanimate objects should move by their own accord, which I then use to tame a metaphorical unicorn into affecting the world around me?

Exactly, the ghost says. Told you mysticism was a piece of cake!

Additional resource credits:
Cider – the usual

  • Kazerad

    Wow, yeah, sorry for the “will update later this week” followed by a 20-day wait. It turns out after a long hiatus it’s harder to get back into the swing of things than I thought. Rather than trying to instantly update at top speed again, I think instead I’m going to aim to update gradually faster every time. That idea sounds way less bad.

    • Aww yess! Updates!

    • Gren

      And it sounds certainly way more credible and reasonable. As long as you stop making promises you know you’ll never fulfil.

      Now we’ll have to wait and see what kind of telekinetic-thing she’s capable to do with logical thinking.

    • Jarik

      Take your time and don’t burn yourself out man. Great attention to detail in this update by the way. It’s stunning how your paint skills have increased over the years

      • needsomemiracle

        I thought Kazerad found someone to do the drawing for him a couple months ago? Or did I imagine that?

        • Jarik

          I was under the impression it was a collaborative effort

          • xKiv

            Also, it’s not just matter of creating the art stuff.

          • EpicWolf

            Wait, so cat burns make things on fire and bird puns makes things float. Seems logical

          • Moo?

            I wonder what fish puns do

          • Gelarto

            Katia unlocks her hidden water-bending abilities

          • Bob

            This is elder scrolls. Not avatar (the good one, not those lame movie ones)

            Nice effort though.

          • BadWagon

            IT WAS A JOKE

            Nice try though.

          • Common Sense, Badly Timed

            THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

          • Bob thefrank Builder

            She learns a spell that summons hundreds of daedric fishys from oblivion, and they fall from the sky and explode on contact! My friends making that a mod on skyrim, only with silly rabbits. :3

          • Moo?

            Fuckin rabbits… always ruining my garden when they fall from the sky

          • super_big_mac

            Who are you, Qui Gon? “I cast Summon Bigger Fish!”


          • Tigersong

            Hey, a reference to TES and KotOR! Fishy fishy.

    • what should i say?

      I don’d mind a few days for such a nice update.
      I think there is a visible advancment between your first panels and now. You are getting better every time.
      And obstacles may occour anytime.

      You don’t have to hesitate. You are rewarding our waiting anyway.


    • mutton

      Maybe just don’t set yourself deadlines? Just update when your ready instead of telling people you’re going to update in a week or whatever. Life gets in the way sometimes and the angsty rabblers will jump on it.

    • Shadow_Mantis

      At least it wasn’t a few months since the last (rather enjoyable and funny) update. In all honesty… take your time. Rather have quality over quantity.

    • Theseus

      Can’t say I mind– nice to have updates happening, and the quality and story is well worth the wait 🙂

    • Moo?

      I can almost see the updates… DAMMIT SPOILERS

    • MrNature72

      I gave you a reply earlier, but I wouldn’t mind lending a hand to the creation of this. I go to military college, so I have plenty of time on my hands.

      Not to mention most of the other guys here aren’t exactly the finest specimens, if you will. It’s not hard to not be involved with their shenanigans when I could be doing much more productive things.

      Like creating WILD STORIES and having some fucking ADVENTURES.

      [email protected]

      If you’re interested in spinning a tale or two back and forth and getting an assessment of what I’m capable of, I’ll present my case like some elder-scrolls based lawyer analogy I couldn’t think of after ten minutes.

  • Obscuras

    Fuck YES I waited for this :3

    Make katia lose control and accidentally ignite Aggy

    • Neo za Buraddoejji

      Aggy is a Ghost… how you burn a ghost????

      • GrapeButter

        Ghosts can only be hurt by silver and magic, fire is one of the few things that WILL hurt Aggy. Well, few things from this realm. But it’s not like Oblivion portals are going to be opening soon or something. 😀

        • Anonymouse

          With Katia’s inability to control magic, it’s more likely that Aggy will just shrug it off.

          • Raven (WinterLilium)

            Lack of control works both ways, though. Remember when she burned down a stone church? d:

        • Tom Cardwell

          I wonder if his fire resistance persisted after death. Better to go with electrical burns.

      • PKArrk

        Ghosts in Oblivion are hurt by magic.

  • Contrast

    Yay! I’m one of Katia’s internal voices now! ^_^

    • Psithief

      Hmm, there is bug with this update. There are inconsistent quotes around suggester’s names. Do you have an electronic doppleganger? 🙂

      • Contrast

        Not that I know of. o_O

        • Contrast

          Not that I know of. o_O

          • Contrast

            Not that I know of. o_O

  • TSED

    Completely unrelated to the strip: you might want to update the copyright at the bottom of the website. You know, this part?:

    “© 2011—2013 Kazerad and Ch’marr. The Elder Scrolls and related properties are trademarks of Bethesda Softworks.”

    (It’s no longer 2013.)

    • andwhyisit

      Replace 2013 with <?php echo date(‘Y’); ?> and the problem will be solved for all time.

  • Psithief

    That’s not a mistake you can make again.

    Oh wait, he’s a magic ghost. I said nothing.

  • Contrast

    Does anybody know what the Deadric text above the unicorn’s head means?

    • Psithief

      Here’s the daedric alphabet.

      I believe it says MAGESTIC AS SHIT, with the G replacing the J because ‘MAGE’. But I can’t be sure because the two letters are pretty similar.

      Dunmer mage humour. :p

      • cake

        I’m so glad you exist.

      • Contrast

        Thank you very much. ^_^

        • Contrast

          Thank you very much. ^_^

  • Digo

    Haha, that unicorn’s look with its beheaded rider. Priceless! 😀

  • javer

    Wow. I know I’m getting to this revelation pretty late, but this rude-ass crazy ghost is actually a rude-ass crazy good motivational speaker.

  • A1Qicks

    Update iss gut, update iss kind

  • Carmeops

    so all we have to do is LITTERally tell her CATastrophic jokes so she can use magic? PURRfect!

    • Woodledude

      No, no. See, she has to reverse-engineer BIRD puns to give things a reason to move. It’s a totally different thing.

      • Don Quixotes

        Puns of a feather…

        • Birds… scales… reptile… argonian… maybe some ARGONIAN puns will help!

      • Dr. Quack

        Light as a feather, stiff as a bird. Light as a feather, stiff as a bird.

    • RylanSword

      Good god this is terrible…

  • troper

    what a great way to start the day 😀

  • Musho

    First update since i cathed up! Whoop whoop

  • Kaytavo

    Le Wild Update Appeared….
    Any one got teh mashturr bawl?

  • Bluedragon

    Bird puns? Did I totally miss something? I think I totally missed something.

    • Psithief

      Here’s the earliest reference.

      As alternative build yourself a nest a tree.

      Hey! You’re not a… bird?

      You understand the cat jokes, but where the hell did the bird thing come from? It’s not even offensive.

      Note that the amulet of silence flashes briefly.

      Then later she is down a well and grasping for magic to try.

      Well now that we have you in a nice area where you can’t miss (or harm anybody) let us begin operation “horrible pun deathstrike” You can’t tell me it doesn’t affect you my dear Katia, I saw the amulet flash back in anvil, it’s doing something.
      I mean I’m not fishing for trouble, you’re very deer to us after owl, I just notice you bearily hanging in hare so I’d eely like to lend you a hamd. First off it’s a well so it’ll be flippery, hold on tiger beclaws we don’t want ewe to fall in for that woold be an udder disaster and not very fawny. Tuck your tail in a little closer it can toadly be bit off, adder girl! I skink we must be shrewd when dealing with the fish, things can beecome hare-owing quick. Anoa you think I’m just badgering you but you goat to sea I’m not a total loon, I’m trying to kelp you.

      “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee did you see it? Did you see it?” she squeals.

      “You made a little fire?”

      “That was an accident; I mean right before that! I’m not entirely sure how, but… I think I knocked it over! I pushed it over with my mind! That’s, ah, pretty cool, right?”

      Minor telekinesis!

      (Hey, why let us use quote tags if they’re not even styled? :p )

  • Revereche

    Enjoying this ghost so much. Best counterpart to Katia

  • Ransom

    An update!

    Wait, did we just learn how Aggy died?

    Anyways, bird puns that try to make a logical argument for moving? I almost feel like we’re being trolled. But I’m game, just need to open up wikipedia and look for punful bird words.

    • Skianous

      “Wait, did we just learn how Aggy died?”

      Came here to say that. No wonder he’s batshit crazy, it’s not ghost insanity, it’s just the logical consequence of hitting your head so hard it fell off !

    • tronn

      I’m pretty sure you cannot get your head cut off by riding unicorns under bridges (you’d fall off first), and that Aggy is just remembering the events wrong because he’s verifiably insane.

      • Ransom

        Well yeah but this is a unicorn he’s riding. Maybe he was tightly strapped in and had the unicorn casting an athletics spell that made it go exceptionally fast…or something.

      • Stormfeather

        You might not take your head off like was pictured, but you could certainly break your neck smacking it hard enough against the bridge. And yeah, with magical unicorns running at possibly magical speeds, I could see a decapitation happening. (Sorta like the horror story that everyone’s mom told them about a couple joyriding in a convertible…)

      • Quoting Gandalf:
        “All good stories deserve embellishment.”

      • LP

        For the record, you can totally have your head taken off by riding under things on a motorcycle. Up here in the Frigid Northlands we occasionally see “decapitation by moose” as a cause of death in the papers.

    • Gelarto

      No, I’m pretty sure he died in the tomb we met him in. That’s where Katia got that satchel/bag thing she looted from his body.

      • Raiu1994

        Nah, he is a guardian ancestor, who was guarding the one that corpse that Katia got the bag off of. So the Unicorn theory is a plausible one.

  • Unclever title

    “I need to reverse engineer bird puns into a logical argument for why inanimate objects should move by their own accord, which I then use to tame a metaphorical unicorn into affecting the world around me?”

    I feel like I’ve been given a writing assignment of some kind.

    About an hour later: Done. Command submitted.

  • gertmenkel

    Hey Kazerad, just as a sidenote, when I follow the links from my RSS reader or from twitter I’m getting 500 – Internal Server Error pages. When I follow the link from the home page everything works fine. Did some some script break or someting?
    This is the failing link: Bad Link
    The problem seems to be the utm_source parameter, because when I remove that it works OK.

    • gertmenkel

      Nevermind, it seems to have been fixed.

  • Pajaul

    Well… birds by their existence are things of freedom, flight, unlimited movement, and in this conceptual stance on existence a pun would be trivializing that substance of being, not in so much as to mock but rather to equalize or degrade to a level of understanding that makes such a state of being acceptable to other states of being- comparatively- so therefore puns are a means to make the unobtainable state of existence we conceptualize as ‘birds’ be acceptable to our reality as a non bird. If we then apply this to ANY object, we only need break down the same conceptual state of existence that is ‘birds’ -i.e. freedom of movement- to that which we can understand, much the same way we may understand a unicorn. A unicorn, in itself, is a being understood of rare and purely magical- different from a horse by this context of existing as magical- however still a living, breathing, being that exists in nature meaning what is magical is also natural, in much the same way the natural flight of birds is magical to those of us without flight, thus we need only realize the natural magical nature within ourselves to apply trivializing comparisons of freedom to any object- to wit, an object can already magically move freely by our force of understanding of it because we understand it to move freely already via magical forces.

    • Pajaul

      Ah, this is meant to be a command, but I keep getting 500 internal server errors so I was afraid it wouldn’t post – copied it here just in case. Gotta say I do miss the dependability of the forum. Hope no one minds, hope the server error get’s fixed.

      -Stop right there Criminal Scum!

      • Kazerad

        Something is going on with the server. I’m hoping it clears up on its own an I don’t have to figure out what.

        • Psithief

          Your software might be crumbling under the amount of requests you’re getting (i.e. the amount of database requests each visit may be too much for the database process to handle). The problems were apparent immediately after your update, but I can look through the site fine now, further pointing towards the traffic spike as the culprit.

          Lack of timely database access is the cause of 99*% of intermittent server problems.

          (*my guess)

          If this is the case, you might need a better WordPress caching plugin.

          • Pajaul

            I still have 500 internal sever errors; even now I had to fight through several refreshes, waiting, refreshing- to even get here to be able to comment. It makes me a little paranoid that someone could possible be edged out of enjoying the comic like this. And to be honest the smiling blue yellow gator is starting to annoy me. And if you’ve notice the comments are still only at two pages, which makes me think a lot of people haven’t even been able to comment at all. I hope they can submit commands. Wish I knew more about this kind of thing so I could help, but I’m in the dark.

            -Stop right there Criminal Scum!

  • Nickelangelo

    Thank you for the birthday gift, Kaz!
    Update’s awesome as always ^^

    • Kazerad

      You’re welcome! Happy birthday.

      This feels a lot less special when I consider every update is, statistically, going to be a birthday present for about thirty readers, but still.

      • James

        Well i’ll be number 2 for today, also my birthday :3

        Also following Kaz’s math, he has roughly 11,000 readers :p

      • Niveon

        Mine’s the last day of May. I’d like it if, by then, Katia would have beat Sigrid up with a pineapple that only-Akatosh-knows-where-it’s-been.

        Of course, I jest.

        Or do I?

  • Omnitoad

    If someone insisted that you were a bird, you would want to correct them. Of course inanimate objects can’t talk or argue on their behalf, so when you start making fun of them by making puns based on your apparent misconception of what their nature they start to get pissed off. So, the best way they can prove that they’re not a bird is to demonstrate non-birdlike behavior, such as flying without flapping. For example,

    You: “Hey table, I notice you’re not inside the bar anymore. Guess you flew the coop. I hope it wasn’t because you were feeling chicken. Or was it because you was the bar tender using you as a stool pigeon?”

    Table: “Dude, what the…? I’m not a bird. Why do you think I’m a bird? Can a bird do this?”

    And then it flips in a very non-birdlike manner.

    This magic stuff makes perfect sense.

    • that’s… think like a witch hunter!!!

      • Bob

        Oh… The comedic potential this’ll have in the future installments!

        Ladies and gentlemen, we could possibly be looking at some pretty insane shit to happen soon..

  • Dr.Obvious

    Well i guess the cats out of the bag wait shit wrong pun Uh… Uh … shit i bet tocan’t think of a better one.

    • Bob


      flapping terrible.

  • Alyrine

    I STILL don’t get why Katias power should be powered by inaccurate and unnecessary puns. I mean, I know it originated with that cat pun in a bar but….I dunno, I just think that there should be a less CREATIVE way to use magic…if you know where im going with this…

    • We told each other we wouldn’t talk about the pineapple trick any more.

    • Dragox

      Looks like you didn’t study magic then. It’s not about puns, it’s about the message contained in them, the hidden will that moves the fabric of time and space. It’s the power of the words. The better you understand what magic really is, the more powerful you become. If you want to know more, join the mage academy! We have free cookies! Well, technically, they’re not real and will disappear in three hours after summoning, but they feel pretty real and taste really good! We once had a mage that could summon real sweetrolls, but he got jailed by some crazy guard saying that he was stealing them from him… Anyway, feel free to join 😀

      • JJR

        So the cookies taste like the real thing, but the calories disappear three hours after the summoning, where do I sign up?

        • Dragox

          The academy’s building lies in the northern part of Arkadia city. If you don’t want to travel, you can just ask the guy responsible for transportation in your local mages guild for a teleport. It’s free, but be aware that the fast travel system makes some people very nauseous and dizzy for some time. After arriving to the academy, tell the guy at the gate that you want to sign up, he’ll direct you to the recruitment centre. If you’ll ever have problems with money, there’s plenty of jobs around, just look at the giant board in the main building. Oh, and one thing, don’t ever accept a job from J’zingo. He always tries to pull pranks on newbies and tells them to try a spell scroll for him. And that ends up in many different ways. I must say it’s pretty funny, and he always pays well after the prank, but nobody knows with what he’ll come up next.

  • FrittstheAcePilot

    this is nice, took a bit long, but im all for quality over quantity, and also, atta boy, keep this story rollin.

  • Osato

    Bird puns result in Katia – a cat – being called a species of prey, which makes her into her own worst enemy. While that’s true on a symbolic level(Katia is her own worst enemy), it is also false on a superficial level(Katia is not a bird).
    The statement becomes both true and false; this paradox hurts the reality’s feelings and so it shuts itself in the toilet to cry. When objects notice that there’s no more laws of physics to chaperone them, they start exercising their freedom of movement.
    Therefore, telekinesis.

    Based on this hypothesis, I have a suggestion: combine bird puns with dog puns to hurt the reality’s feelings so much that it starts to cut itself and bleed on the carpet, which would make the laws of physics upset enough to intentionally comply with your demands.
    “You’d better solve yourself, puzzle-thingy, because if you don’t, I’ll get high as a kite and show you what my canines can do! And don’t say my bark is worse than my bite: I might seem chicken to you now, but I can be a real cock when I’m drunk.”

    • Huffington

      You, sir, have all my respect at this moment. I teared up when reading your hypothesis.

  • I am gonna start doing some Katia art (all sfw) and I will upload pics when I can,

  • sabata2

    Man oh man do I hope my command makes it in.

    Let’s just say that in my command Katia doesn’t take well to back talk.

  • ogg

    Great as usual

  • Nulla_Metus

    I just want to see the puzzle burn.

  • FilmNoir62

    Might be easier to try flipping the puzzle with telekinesis, for starters.

    On a side note, this is the best comic I’ve read that I never thought I’d like (read as compliment!).

  • Sheogorath

    Silly khajiit! Why flip it lenghtwise when you could flip it sideways?

    • Jarik

      Don’t you have a cheese banquet to attend?

      • Sheogorath

        I feel peckish for some brain pie…

  • Okay, I have a theory. Bear with me a minute.

    The tail end of this update seems like a challenge. That if we can reverse engineer WHY bird and cat puns worked to access her magic, Katia’s ability to affect and warp the world, we can use the core of that to construct a rationale that allows the likes of effective telekinesis.

    I was having a discussion about this update with a friend, and Aggy’s “troll logic” was brought up (along with some weird Homestuck aspect stuff like Void but forget I ever mentioned that). Aggy’s logic is impenetrable, and solely his own… it struck us as if he were saying that such logic is almost a justification against reality, used to cast magic itself.

    So: why do cat and bird puns work to cast Katia’s magic???

    Here’s the answer I posit: Because it makes sense to her! Pun-casting a weird as heck justification for spellcraft, sure, but it’s a justification she concluded, absolutely irrespective of reality. If she believes that those puns result in those spells, strongly enough, then that internal logic is enough to affect the world around her! All of her justifications for spellcasting so far have been completely congruent with her own personal (limited, flawed) observations, and they all worked anyway. Magic doesn’t play by reality’s rules, it doesn’t play by anyone’s rules but hers!

    My friend suggests that this magic has functioned in the background to affect even more than we’d have guessed. Beard-lack as a barrier to spellcasting? Four-leaf clovers resulting in accumulating luck? What if it was because Katia believed in that logic that these things happened?! And let’s not mention her continual bad luck streak, self-perpetuated by her own beliefs!

    The key isn’t coming up with a line of reasoning that makes bird-puns result in spellcasting. The key is realizing that her reasoning is the only thing that matters when it comes to making it happen, and the rest of the world can go f%*k itself. This world doesn’t make sense!!! An ancient dark elf ghost is casting frost-fall spells and blabbering about unicorns. A shop owner became charisma-overlord of a whole town overnight. All Katia has to realize is that the world around her is stupid and nonsensical, and that the table next to her might as well just flip over because F*%K that table sitting there not doing anything, it should be able to stand up and do a little jig because this WIZARD says it should, and believes that’s a plenty better justification for it to start doing so than a darned fish pun!

    Make sense?

    • As with whenever I post something it feels like I just came up with, even with a friend agreeing with me, I get a terrible sense of deja vu and suddenly believe I read something almost exactly like it before. Like, maybe amidst the commands in the church scene or something. Dunno.

      Anyway, I do remember people going on at length about Katia ‘believing in herself’, even tying this into her magical ability or the like. So, I suppose I feel the need to differentiate this point from that one:

      What I’m suggesting isn’t quite, “If Katia believes hard enough that the table should move, the table should move”. It’s a weird step removed from that, I think. More, “if Katia believes hard enough that a fish pun will cause the table to move, a fish pun will cause the table to move”. The format “X causes Y” becomes a logic system, that logic system is the entity in which ‘belief’ is invested, and then that system may be employed to entail results.

      If this is at all true, then figuring out, realizing, and knowing this root of her magic should imbue her magic-backing logic constructs with additional power and control. She can then decide on a convenient trigger, an “X causes Y”, woven out of whole cloth — like, say, that commands involving tree puns give her total control over tables — and believing in the logic behind that cause-effect trigger is sufficient to allow her to command that table to make like a tree and leave (leaf).

      *bows head and leaves embarrassed, having made the issue even less clear than before*

      • Nulla_Metus

        I think I understood that. I AM an Argonian Witchunter so I think in ways even more out-of-norm than most Witchhunters. Just had a thought, Mysticism is basically the art of CHIM. One recognizes the folly of “reality” and simply changes it.

        • Khoth54

          As an Argonian SpellSword, I whole heartily disagree what you must do is realize that reality is wrong and that the only way to fix it is with copious amounts of electricity. Yep electricity and sharp objects works every time unless reality has something it thinks is important then it stops working for some reason. My guess is I need more zap&slash.

  • TLV1991

    I think what Aggy is TRYING to say is that the Amulet of Silence only stops consciously controlled spell-casting. To use his unicorn analogy, the unicorn (the magic) is going to ride under the bridge (silence) just fine on it own, but not so much when a rider (you controlling it) tries to do so. So that thing back there was your purest, simplest magic running wild; without you controlling it, the amulet could do nothing to stop it.

  • SuperGnome

    Cake? Unicorn? Bridge? …What!? Okay let’s try to get this straight. The unicorn is supposed to be you, the bridge is the plane upon which you can cast spells, and the rider is your amulet. The puns are a delivery method. We just need to reverse engineer bird puns to where we can get, not the pun itself, but just the delivery and discovery of the pun. Basically, take the feeling of a bird pun, and use that as the force to take the metaphorical head off of your rider, allowing your telekinesis to travel under the metaphorical bridge, and into the thing you’re trying to move, or set fire, or freeze.

    The possibilities are endless Katia! You’ve heard enough stupid puns to know how they feel, now use that knowledge to be-head that rider! And flip that ******* table!!

    • SuperGnome

      Or perhaps that analogy is complete nonsense with no truly defined point, and we need to go get blotto and made fun of to be able to “accidentally” cast spells. He ‘is’ a crazy ghost that just stole a bars table and made it snow in the middle of Last Seed, after all.

    • Unclever title

      Nah, the Unicorn is Katia’s magic, the bridge is the Amulet of Silence, the rider is a Spell.

      The spell as the rider tries to direct Katia’s magic (ride the unicorn) but can’t do so without the spell being silenced (running into the bridge and being decapitated) thus terminating the spell (literally).

      However, the the magic itself can leak out uncontrolled (the unicorn is short enough to run under the bridge) and run wild and free causing problems and igniting candles (the unicorn is wild).

      Katia setting the temple on fire was basically Katia’s unrestrained magic panicking like a wild frightened unicorn, it ran around causing a massive ruckus and destroyed everything despite Katia’s panicked efforts (or probably made worse by them) she could not get the unicorn to calm down.

      To cast while silenced one has to “tame the unicorn” to act in the caster’s interest without being ridden or directed. Best way I can think of taming a pointy magic horse is with a treat. Hay, apples, carrots, the odd fishbowl full of peas etc. But what would be a treat to Katia’s magic?

      Well, when Katia would unconsciously start fires before they would most often happen at candles a logical target of a minor fire spell. So what does Katia’s magic want? A target. Something to burn, something to move, something to affect.

      I think all Katia needs to do to “tame her unicorn” to cast while silenced is to provide her magic with a target, and let it take over from there. Likely through focusing on something.

  • Soultaker

    Awesome update

  • Oh my, just went though all of it. Prequel is so fun. I actually read it the day after an update!
    I sure hope you will go into more frequent updates. My own experience with the frequency of updates taught me to not go overboard with quality, or you can reach a dead end quickly.

    If the positive feedback is what fuels your creativity, then don’t bang your head trying to reach levels of mastery in every single scene. You progressed since the first scene, but onnone expects Prequel to have state of art graphics. It’s the story that counts, so take a look at the few first pages and at the level of details there and keep it in mind when preparing the next update. You’ll get it finished faster, be happier about it and get that feedback much much quicker.

    Also, I can’t exaggerate how good I feel about myself after finding this amazing site!

  • Hey, awesome work!

    Also – it seems that the slower updates are the effect of you trying new complex things. Truth is, you should probably start another project to make these complex things and leave Katia with the complexity equal to the very first few slides.

    It’s your thing and you will do whatever feels fun for you, but my guess is you want to learn new things and you will do these complex games and interactive movies – truth is though, it would be best for you to branch out and use that creative energy on another thing.

    • am

      nah, let him do what he wants! if kaz wants to exercise his creative abilities with this project, i say he should. hussie used homestuck in a similar way, and has pushed his artistic and storytelling abilities way beyond its origins (with the help of others, but also because of his own ambition). i feel like a bunch of simple gifs or static image series would drag on forever with nothing to break it up and give it better pacing.

  • Tim

    Yay, you’re back for real! 😀
    Loving the shaking ghost, tiny little stylistic things like that makes Prequel so much fun!

  • sav

    So is that ‘maybe even Khajiit’ reference just the old ghost being racist yet again or is he actually referring to the Khajiit creation myth, or just referring to the fact that magic may be fundamental to life itself on Nirn?

    • Travels-With-Leaps

      He’s probably implying that since khajit biology is so freaking weird there is perhaps some magic involved.

  • Huffington

    Say, you know what would be awesome? have the command page be this thing where each new set of commands is posted and people can make new ones OR vote for their favorites!

  • Serp

    That goddamn puzzle. My mother used to have one, and I never solved it.

    And with inspirational music and the urgings of an annoying ghost, I eventually solved it only by being told what I had already done that worked by a program better at keeping track of what I was doing than I am. I think I can remember the answer now…

    But I still have no confidence I would have found it by myself. I can’t keep track of possibilities and what’s worked and what hasn’t that well.

    Feeling very Katia right now.

  • Nopon

    NIce update. Merethic as [numinit] indeed :).

  • Nemo_NoOne

    Come on! you have to put more trust in yourself now! you have always wanted friends who cares about you and trust in you.
    Now you got a ghost that you barely know, but he believes in you, he believes that you can do something if you just try!

    You are Katia FUCKING Managan and you BELIEVE in yourself! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

  • Theseus

    Katia: How does this make you feel? Annoyed? Confused? Let’s go with confused. If so, then direct confusion at the object you want to move– why does it choose not to move? Kind of like Aggy said– politely disagree with it. Act confused, and convince it with concentration. And take off the amulet just in case.

    And if that doesn’t work, we can always say that this is bird-brained.


    Alright alright alright! Let’s do this thing!


    Alright alright alright! Let’s do this thing! Woo!

  • Khoth54

    Is it just me or does Aggy’s shaking in the 3ed panel make you think he is about to explode.

  • Nemo_NoOne

    Katia it seems like your powers is controlled by emotions? when you are angry or mad at yourself that seems to control your fires.

    When you are scared, confused or excited that seems to interact with the telekinesis.
    Remember when you discovered it? you were trapped in a well and were about to be some slaughterfishs meal, or remember when you were about to “grill” the chapel? you flipped tables like a bad-ass. Both these times you where scared… probably of dying buuut… you know…

    or why bird puns? that’s just… odd? you were even confused yourself at the start.

    All I am saying is, you need to let Aggy confuse you, you need to try and make sence to it, and when it doesn’t Work, take that confusion and throw it at the table! 😀

  • Uacher

    If Mysticism works like that, then no wonder it was removed in Skyrim.

    • JJR

      I always figured that mysticism was the purest form of magic and that some conspiracy, probably the Psijic Order, worked in the background to reorganize the schools of magic to keep people away from it. This, in my mind, was probably to stop people from weakening the fabric of reality; even more, that is.

      • Uacher

        Which could be interpreted as having far more potential than the other Schools of magic. Our dear Katia here might be a sleeping giant assuming this is true.

  • Saminjutsu

    Command given.

    I think I was able to sufficiently and logically explain why bird puns cause telekinesis and why cat puns cause pyrokinesis.

  • new reader

    Um, i have a problem with the main page on the site “” it gives me a timeout error, had to look for the direct link to this page just to see the new update.

    Asides from that, nice job on the update, keep up the good work!

    (is katia finally going to flip that god damn table with magic?)

  • newb_reader

    Um, i have a problem with the main page on the site “” it gives me a “500 error” or sometimes just doesn’t connect at all (timeout), had to look for the direct link to this page just to see the new update.

    Asides from that, nice job on the update, keep up the good work!

    (is katia finally going to flip that god damn table with magic?)

    • ManOfTheAower

      Regardless of the long wait, I feel so much hype for this series! I just started reading three weeks ago, and ever since I’m seriously into this. This may sound very sappy, but I think this comic has to be one of my favorites; I really love the art styles, I can definitely relate to a lot of Katie’s situations, and it’s just flat out epic! Sorry again if I’m gushing too much, and thanks to the artist and whole Prequel team for making this happen.

  • Niglet

    Can’t wait for the next update already 😀

  • Citizen Disturbed by Change

    What is this new layout? It looks differennntttttt!!!!!!! What sorcery is this!?

  • Shazbot

    Huh, new layout. I hope it’s just for the traffic crunch, though, as ‘The same site, but now with large useless gray borders at the side’ isn’t an improvement.

  • No you guys dont understand

    …Guys, you don’t understand how CSS works, do you?

    Somebody must have broked the colors in the style sheet and updated the site on accident.

  • SerpentXeos

    I can’t help but imagine the site at the moment is screaming “Katia, You’re tearing me apart!”

  • Daki

    Hey Kaz, nice new design!
    I actually like it, I think you should keep it!

    Just make “prequel” at the top dark blue and you’re golden.

    Just try it out for a while kaz, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
    4 years, it’s time for a change anyway.

  • Huffington

    oh god… our commands to invoke mysticism are tearing the websites reality apart…

  • Sparksol

    I think she should try going a little crazy. A surprising number of those who act a bit off their rocker are doing quite well in this story, and there’s one a whole suit of cards short of a full deck who’s dead and loving it. This normal-life thing doesn’t seem to be working out, so why not go a little crazy?

    So Mysticism is a piece of cake, is it? How badly do you want some more cake, Katia?

  • R. Jakobi

    Maybe if you think of cake…I mean REALLY think of cake…all of the fluffiness and flavor and enjoying, you can create a mnemonic device that can help you telekinite better…telekinite, is…is that a word?

  • Irrevenant

    Heh. By the very nature of Mysticism, some of its most experienced practitioners begin to question reality itself. “Is any of this real? Am I real?” It is very possible for powerful Mysticism users to decide they don’t exist and then *poof*. Gone forever.

    Neat, huh?

  • Ransom

    Whoa, fancy new comment section.

  • ArcaneMonkey

    Okay, it’s kinda embarrassing how well I feel I understood that. Maybe I’m just getting used to aggy.

  • JJR

    Accidentally breaking things as you try to fix them, that’s not very witchhuntery. I would suggest that you should accidentally fix things as you try to break them.

  • Alex Franklin

    We can upvote things now?? Cool!

  • Moo?

    I like how everyone has the guard as a photo

    • Moo?

      Exept me…

    • Nemo_NoOne

      And Alex Franklin 🙂

    • Alex Franklin

      We get to be the first commenters to post after the change to the comments section! Wheee

  • Nemo_NoOne

    I somehow liked it better when I could look through pages instead of scrolling Down 😛

    • Antisocial Dickweed

      And there weren’t any voting buttons..

  • DrZombro

    Kazerad. Käserad. Cheese wheel. Hidden message! Katia needs to think about cheese wheels. It’s like the Atari code.
    Here is an example of the real power of cheese wheel mysticism.

  • andwhyisit

    Nooooo! I can’t type “katia”, “slutcat”, or “dumbass mcwelldiver” into an input box anymore. What have you done?! O_O

    In all seriousness though, ordering comments with the newest at the top would make much more sense.

    • Kazerad

      I don’t know, the oldest comments on an update are usually intelligent observations about what is in it while the newer comments are usually “GODDDDDDDD why such a long wait??”. Under the “140 comments” tag there should be an option to sort by oldest, newest, or Biggest Vote Whore.

      As for the comment quiz, I am afraid its age is over. Having moved away from WordPress’ comment system, my old plugins no longer apply. Gone is the day of the “Type Katia Here” box that accepted basically anything, as long as you could type, and come are the days… well, WordPress’ default comment section not using like 99% of my bandwidth.

      • Talk

        That’s nice- but I really liked the old system where you could talk without having an account, and where you could page through the comments vs scrolling, it makes it a lot easier..

        • xKiv .

          Logging in is a replacement for typing passphrase every time.
          And Disqus has features like “notify me when someone replies to my comment (with link to the comment”, or “tell me when $person comments”, or “pop a notification on the page when a new comment appears (which scrolls you to that comment when you click on it).
          It also has that wart where you have to “load more comments” unbounded amounts of time if you want them all, but who wants that?

          • CardiacTasty

            How can we truly appreciate Witchhuntery without a few warts in the process?

            But yeah, that part needs to die.

        • Kazerad sans account

          I should have it set so you don’t need an account? I’m trying to post this reply without an account now. Is it working?

          • andwhyisit

            Note the option “I’d rather post as guest”. You don’t need an account. I certainly never used one.

  • AWizardDidIt

    Is it weird that Aggy is actually making sense to me?

    • tronn

      Isn’t it weird that Aggy didn’t make sense to you before?

  • Nulla_Metus

    I do like this Disqus somewhat. It allows for profiles, up and down voting, potential recognition, and its format is nice. I did like the ability to skip several pages of comments, but at least we can now sort it by newest comments. Also I believe that I am Kazerad’s first follower on Disqus.

    • Nulla_Metus

      I am honored. Apparently Kazerad followed me just as I followed him. Now I am obligated to say something both useful and interesting to the community.
      I have but dabbled in Mysticism, and I may not be the most powerful of Witch Hunters, but I can give one piece of advice to Katia. If she is to take this path, the path of the Witch Hunter, she must obtain arrows. Not some, not few, not even many. She must obtain every stick she can fling from her (potential/future) bow. Because of this fact, that Witch Hunters are sometimes required to use the most dirty, splintered; flimsy pieces of sharpened wood, I named my bow Stickflinger.

      • Gren

        Yeah I mentioned it in a previous command. Also, lots of poisons and enchanted arrows. The bow I used to use had shock damage and soul trap enchantments.

  • Irrevenant

    I very much like being able to have my Ancient Ayleids avatar.

    • Contrast

      Lol, that is indeed a great avatar. ^_^

  • Ultimate lol

    A ↑ ↑ Start ↓ → → B B A ← → ↓ A Start B ↑ ↑ ← A A → ↑ ↑ → B B Start B A A → → → ↓ → ↓ ↓ Start ↓ → A → → B A B ↑ → ← ← B ↓ ↓…

  • Gage

    either he’s making a weird kind of sense or im going crazy

  • xKiv .

    Hmm. The “add comments” link up at the top of the page doesn’t scroll me down to comments section. It doesn’t appear to do anything for me now. I think it would be cool if it pointed to start of the comments section. Which probably means putting a #respond anchor on something just before it.
    I only noticed because I accidentally scrolled up, and wanted to go back to start of comments.
    Another such link (pointing to start of comments) could be useful at the *bottom* of the page, sometimes, too, maybe?

  • KamikazeCat

    No April Fools joke.

    • tronn

      (the joke was that you were expecting an update)

      • KamikazeCat

        Well, shit. I guess I was fooled good, then.

      • Alex Franklin

        Know what did update? Homestar Runner! In case someone hasn’t heard already.

  • Contrast

    I quite like the new comments section, mostly because it was so easy to upload my badass eyecon. ^_^

    • CardiacTasty

      Lols, eyecon. Cause, you know, it’s an… Never mind.

  • clutchedbyanangel

    Oh, cool. I’m caught up. It’s like stepping out of a time machine.

  • Flyingfrogslash

    Okay, so I just started reading this today. At the very beginning. According to the clock, that was around 3-5 hours ago.
    DAMN this is good! I don’t normally get so hooked on something that I can’t stop reading. That only happens if I REALLY like something! I can’t wait for the next update! Keep up the fantastic work! 😀

  • Ransom

    Sort of a bit of broader webcomic discussion while we wait: It’s night, aren’t we getting pretty close to another dream sequence? Will we see if there’s any change since that voice in yellow squiggly lines promised to help? Can Aggy hang out in her dreams to give her some help?

    Personal theory: Whatever it is that caused her nightmares has, as of last night, stopped deliberately causing it. For whatever reason, it doesn’t deem her being scared necessary anymore. But she’s been scared so long her phobia is now securely embedded and it will take her time to have normal dreams again, even without otherworldly influence.

    • tronn

      I still think that the Golden Voice and the Nightmare King are one and the same being, toying with her hopes in a cruel game. I mean, since we discovered that her ability to cast spells while silenced wasn’t a sign of being someone important, there’s no particular reason why otherworldly entities would have a vested interest in her not being scared anymore. And the King is probably just some kind of parasite feeding off of her fear instead of a grandiose evil she needs to defeat, too.

      • Ransom

        Not sure I agree that the fire display wasn’t a sign. Aggy still indicates that it’s very very weird that it happened. That it all happened right at the altar of Akatosh at the place where the Oblivion gate plans to open is way too much of a coincidence for me.

        • tronn

          Aggy is also very very insane, and his assessment of Katia’s situation (or pretty much of anything) is rather suspect. Nevertheless, when the Golden Voice inevitably betrays Katia I’m going to say that I totally called it and that I was right.

          Internet right.

    • Gren

      I’m sure there’s no dreaming sequence this time. She has to sneak in the mages guild at 4 AM when Sigrid is asleep and then recover her stuff back. Besides Katia said her nightmares do not happen every night.

      • damn, 4AM, running off of what, 4 hours of sleep? ad after that exauhsting day? She must have the endurance of an orc.

  • Dracone Ignis

    Oooh Prequel has Disqus now.

  • Nulla_Metus

    For anyone who is wondering, (not that I expect anyone to actually care) my icon is my Argonian Atronach Witch Hunter Oblivion character, flipped sideways. The picture got uploaded to Disqus oddly, so it rotated. I decided to roll with it because it seemed appropriate for a Witch Hunter.

  • billy

    Mr.K you don’t need a big update, just any update will do

    • Powmonkey

      As long as the comic never actually dies, I’m fine with it.

      • JJR

        You don’t have to worry about it dying.
        That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.

        • CardiacTasty

          The Necronomicon suggests at least 3 sacrifices a week to truly bring back a dead webcomic.

          Hence why Kazerad is struggling to get back into the swing of things; we must be slacking off in our sacrifices to Prequel’s Eldritch Monstrosities.

    • tronn

      If it makes you feel any better Kazerad never worries about making a big update.

      Or any update come to think of it.

    • Moo?

      Even stickmen?

    • Kazerad

      The next one won’t be big, I just ended up being busy with something else this week. Also, websites. Sorry about that.

      • Powmonkey

        Well, it’s good to hear that at least there will be a next update.

      • CardiacTasty

        Like, THIS this week? As in, you’re continuing to be busy this week, or you were busy last week and you’ve suddenly and gloriously found some time for more sad cats this week? Three weeks is such a long time to wait when you have a sad cat addiction.

        • tronn



          Seriously now.

          • CardiacTasty

            Well, there was that one time…

            Threes of things are never good.

      • CardiacTasty

        Oh, and the tabletop RPG sounds fascinating and challenging, what with the probability of someone spilling the beans about their part in the deception increasing with every additional player in the session; it’d also be difficult to run the game without giving evidence that there even exists such a twist. The entire idea is interesting and tasty.

        So, I guess it’d be fine to have either the details to what transpired or more sad cats. Fingers crossed on the cats, though.

    • xKiv .

      Yes, size doesn’t matter. Even a small puppet can play big theatre!
      /me looks around for good taste police

  • Moo?

    I like the little ranking system about the number of comments posted… kinda wanna…start a competition… I have to be number 1… YOU GUYS JUST DONT GET IT *flips table even though in my bed*

    • Nemo_NoOne

      it seems like you got telekinesis… could you teach Katia that? I think she needs it :/
      BTW gratz on your newfound powers xD

    • Alex Franklin

      Hah! With the posting of this comment, / am now at the top! Take that!

      • Moo?

        Oh yea? HA TAKE THAT. I just commented

        • Moo?

          And again so now im number 1 🙂

          • Alex Franklin


          • Alex Franklin

            Not anymore!

  • CardiacTasty

    “No, a unicorn! This entire analogy just works better with a unicorn.”

    Such a great comic. Thing.

  • Powmonkey

    [clamoring for updates intensifies]

  • Yugijak

    As long as there is more, I’m happy.

  • Lemeres

    You are a cat…person. Birds fear cats (and persons too usually, so don’t get angry and set fire to things). Using the ‘use magic to solve the inane peg puzzle’ thing, imagine that the peg is a magic bird (feel free to imagine little blue magic wings; that actually might help it work better).

    Where the object is is the base of a tree. Where you want it to go is the top of the tree. Scare it so it wants to escape to the top of the tree. The puns just remind the birds that you know of their existence, and it allows you to play a bit of cartoonish predator style villainy.

    None of this necessarily makes sense, and it might not connect with what really happened… but the whole point of spells is to connect words and images (incantations and rune/circles) with an effect (magic). Proper spellcasting is just a set of mnemonics, and proper mages simply got the idea into their head that that was how magic worked. And that is why puns work for you: you got the idea into your head that that is how your magic worked. That is mysticism: making overly complicated explanations why some random thing triggers magic, and convincing yourself enough that it becomes true.

    Now imagine the front two table legs are birds and….”One in the hand is worth two in the bush!”

    • Lemeres

      ….I just realized that I had misunderstood the procedure for how people submit commands in this for about half a year. Lucky this is my first time trying…

  • Guest

    So dis she really have telekinesis the whole time or is it retcon season?

  • dtlux14

    NO! WHY MUST THERE BE ONLY ONE MORE PAGE! I guess after that it’s on to side stories.

  • PiercingSight

    Kazerad… could you put a “preivous” button at the bottom of the posts as well? On another topic, what’s with her head style changing? In the first two it’s “kitty” shape, and in the next 3 it’s a circle. And sometimes she ends up in cute (ever-so-slightly sexy) poses with “kitty” shape, like in the 6th image here (which I think might be habitual for her because of her past). Is this all on purpose, or does it just happen? Is there any mystical meaning behind it? Does cheese bread know how to play chess?