Jun 202011
 


nonsensicalVariance wrote:
>SWOON


MoldovainEurovision2011 wrote:
I would totally swoon. For IRONIES sake.


bhomer2 wrote:
yeah, gonna have to swoon.

Yeah, you’re not really the “swooning” type.

You will admit that being literally swept off your feet was kind of fun, though.


MysteryJack wrote:
>Find out his name, that seems important.


MoldovainEurovision2011 wrote:
Katia: find out this guy’s name.

Hi, you say, I couldn’t help but notice your extremely interesting display at the Countess’ dinner! My name’s Katia Managan, I’m new to Cyrodiil. I’m a wizard! Or will be, once I can afford training.

The soldier nods at your greeting. Well met, fair Khajiit maiden. I am A Soldier Of the Imperial Legion, proud and selfless Upholders of Justice and Defenders of this Great Nation and all those who live within its Glorious Borders. I trust your stay has been adequately safe, pleasant and just?


Dolash wrote:
Keep it professional, tell him about the highwayman exploiting a gap in the patrol.


BudgerigarCommissar wrote:
Katia: if the Legionnaire is going to go after Gro-Upp, warn the Legionnaire that Gro-Upp definitely has a scroll of Detect Life and probably has a Potion of Invisibility.

Not entirely, you say. Yesterday you were traveling to Kvatch for moderately urgent business when you were approached by a large Orcish highwayman named Gharug Gro-Upp who demanded all your belongings and threatened to kill you if you did not comply. You wanted to escape using an invisibility potion, but he had this magic detection thing packed between his angular, rock-hard abs. He said he knew the patrol schedule, and was timing his robberies so you wouldn’t see them.

He also has a four leaf clover, so he presumably has found more four leaf clovers and is now incredibly lucky.

The soldier says this mockery of justice fuels his heart and rends his anger. The Legion will not tolerate an individual who endangers the lives of innocents for personal gain – let alone one who uses the Legion’s very patrol schedule against them. First chance he gets, the soldier will send word to his commanding officer requesting a temporary six-hour adjustment in the patrol schedule in order to catch this vile bandit off-guard. And, if possible, additional units will be sent to patrol the road until they have apprehended this Green Scourge of the Gold Road. Which is a name he just made up now.

Justice will be upheld. The beacon of light cannot be silenced. The soldier apologizes for his failure to protect you and says he hopes your future travels are much safer.


lexavian wrote:
Anyways, try to spit out that you would like him to protect you on your way to Kvatch as fast as you can because boy is this awkward! Make sure to designate a time and place to meet at that you can easily make.

You explain that you never did make it all the way to Kvatch yesterday. You came back here after you were robbed and have been a bit scared to travel again, given your bad experience last time. You were wonde…

Sorry about that, you say, you’ve eaten like three pieces of chocolate cake in the last ten minutes. There’s no law against throwing up on someone’s plants, right?

The soldier says it’s usually not appreciated, but is perfectly legal under Imperial Law and therefore fine to do. He peed in that same flowerpot on his way in.

Anyway, you were planning to head toward Kvatch again tomorrow. You’re pretty helpless and worthless, though, so you were wondering if maybe he would be willing to be an escort? I mean, not in a sexual way, you just want someone to protect you while you walk to Kvatch. If that’s a thing he is willing to do.

The soldier considers your request. While he surely wishes to defend Every Citizen as bravely and excessively as possible, he takes his job as a Patrolman very seriously and cannot deviate from his strict schedule simply to guide citizens to cities. That job is for other people, such as hired guides and bodyguards.

However, the soldier says, if you want protection on your journey you are welcome to join him on his normal route to Kvatch. The two of you would depart from the castle at 4:30 AM sharp tomorrow morning and follow the Gold Road to Kvatch at a brisk trot, stopping only to defend yourselves, defend an innocent citizen, or preemptively slaughter potentially dangerous forest animals.

If you’re willing to keep up, he will gladly travel with you and offer the Unparalleled Protection of the Imperial Legion.

  • Suraru

    “The soldier says it’s usually not appreciated, but is perfectly legal under Imperial Law and therefore fine to do. He peed in that same flowerpot on his way in.”

    2nd best quote in the entire series!

    • Aero

      I hate when people say that, I never know which one is the best!

      • Beano Curufinwe

        Probably Katia’s explanation of the Imperial Legion here.

      • Worm Anchorite

        Personally, I loved the necromancer’s letter! But allso, Gro Upp has some pretty sweet monologues!

      • Burgrus of Corgi

        So far I believe it was, “These gay elves are racist fucks and you don’t want to talk to them anymore.”

      • Tylor

        It’s simple – best quote is whole Asotil introduction speech.

        • MentallyUnstable

          I believe we have a winner.

      • ecuador

        these gay elves are racist fucks and i dont want to talk to them anymore

    • Id Yiddeli

      I almost died laughing.

    • MadDad

      I would nominate that for the first along with his barely visible change of facial expression in the penult panel.

      THAAAT SMILE… The smallest details always get to the point.

  • Lisa

    ^what he said

  • Harlan

    Crap, where’d his arm go?! O_o

    • Vincent

      On duty.

      • Scy

        ^This

      • Jebediah Oldenheimer

        I so wish you could rate-up or thumb-up comments here.

        • Worm Anchorite

          Thumb up.

    • Tiz but a scatch!

      – “A scratch!? Your arm’s off”

      No it isn’t

      – “Then what’s that then?”

      I’ve had worse

      – “You lie!”

      Come on, yah panzy!”

      /Monty Python-The Black Knight reference

  • MangaManX

    Have to say, panel two is officially my favorite panel ever. In fact this is how all of Katia’s adventures should end. ever.

    • tech

      as opposed to the third panel, eh? *ba-dum tsssh!*

  • slashkamei

    You know…each character had a voice, I’d believe the guard here would be voiced by Patrick Warburton.

    • stabymcstab

      Oh god, that would be perfect.

    • SplinteredReverence

      You, sir, are a rare breed of genius.

      • Antaeus

        I concur with this statement. Bravo. Legendary thought. Bravo.

    • NoriMori

      Um… Am I the only one who disagrees? Granted, I’ve only heard Patrick Warburton’s voice in two roles, but unless he’s a lot more versatile than those two roles would indicate, I don’t think he’d be right for the character.

      • MentallyUnstable

        This IS Mr Warburton’s role. Only he could pull it off.

  • Blazenarm

    Not to nitpick, but “fuels his heart and rends his anger”? Shouldn’t that be either “rends his heart and fuels his anger” or “fuels his anger and rends his heart”?

    • Karnewarrior

      He’s just drug-fueled and not very bright.

  • evileeyore

    “The soldier says this mockery of justice fuels his heart and rends his anger. The Legion will not tolerate an individual who endangers the lives of innocents for personal gain – let alone one who uses the Legion’s very patrol schedule against them. First chance he gets, the soldier will send word to his commanding officer requesting a temporary six-hour adjustment in the patrol schedule in order to catch this vile bandit off-guard. And, if possible, additional units will be sent to patrol the road until they have apprehended this Green Scourge of the Gold Road. Which is a name he just made up now.”

    OMG! Can’t stop laughing even though it now hurts so much!

  • NoriMori

    Omg, third panel is SO CUTE!!! <3

    Lol, "You were wonder… BLEGHÜÜUGHCC." Lol I didn't know people could make the "ü" sound while vomiting. XD

    • Bombzinski

      I’m pretty sure that is, in fact, how that vowel was invented. It was on TV somewhere.

  • smilr

    The artwork on the Katia in the fore-ground of panel 3. Simply magnifique!

  • Sara

    She’s so adorable when she keeps licking the cake! <3

  • katianator

    why did it look like he was missing an arm in most of the pics?

  • Belaslav

    So wait, he was holding dead criminals with one hand, while peeing in the plant-pot with the other?

    Badass.

  • Mário

    This Imperial Soldier… he’s my new hero now!

  • evercharmer

    Since you seem to not be insulted by people correcting grammar, I feel like pointing out that his calling Katia a ‘fair Khajiit maiden’ flows fine, but I’m not sure if it’s technically correct. ‘Fair Khajiiti maiden,’ on the other hand, would be right.

    Say he were referring to an Orc, instead. His current word choice would have him saying ‘fair Orc maiden,’ but in this case the trip up is much more clear because the phrasing doesn’t flow as well. Keeping in line with my suggested phrasing it’d be ‘fair Orcish maiden’. It’s a case of using a noun where an adjective would be more fitting, is all. And yes, I’m aware that this is a pretty geeky comment.

    • MentallyUnstable

      Author is grammatically correct. Khajiit is wierd like that. But good attempt. You were correct with Orcish though.

  • Jacob English

    those of you who play blazblue, i assume you get why i imagine him sounding like bang shishigami

  • Jessica U. Ingmann

    Solder of the Imperial Legion is now my second favorite character in the comic. He’s REAL. And he’s freaking AWESOME. 8D

  • Lineo

    “I’m pretty sure that is, in fact, how that vowel was invented. It was on TV somewhere.”

    for real?i’m german and this is one of the letters in our alphabet, and hahahaha i’m gonna tell that to
    people 😀

  • Victor

    “… stopping only to defend yourselves, defend an innocent citizen, or preemptively slaughter potentially dangerous forest animals.”

    I FUCKING DIED.

  • jimbob glibsib

    If we are to call the soldier Asotil, (A Soldier Of the Imperial Legion) should his full name be Asotil Pasuojadot Gnaatwlwigb? (A Soldier Of the Imperial Legion, proud and selfless Upholders of Justice and Defenders of this Great Nation and all those who live within its Glorious Borders)

    • MentallyUnstable

      His parents are multi cultural. :3

  • Bewarethecarpenter

    “He peed in that same flowerpot on his way in.”

    This statement becomes infinitely more disturbing when you remember he came in carrying the corpses of three bandits and a dog.

  • judithan

    does no one else notice that he doesn’t have a left arm after he puts her down?

  • dtlux14

    😀 I PEED IN THE PLANTS!

  • gayfurry

    the soldier is missing his left arm

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