Nov 172012

Wow, alright, Ilden says, stop before you hurt yourself. You’re swinging that thing around like a monkey with a switchblade.

You tell him you’re sorry, you’re kind of new to this.

He says it’s alright. We all had to start somewhere.

He explains that a club is a heavy weapon. It’s going to be slow to start, hard to steer, and – once it gets up to speed – hard to stop. You can’t just whip it around like a fencing foil; you have to get a feel for the weapon’s weight and guide it, not force it. Let it swing, follow through, and get it back to somewhere it can swing again.

Like, just let it go in circles, you ask?

Sure, he says, if it helps. Get a feel for the weapon and start working with its weight rather than against it.

Lake wrote:
>Don’t forget to ask about Stephane while you have the chance. Questions like: How did that churlish priest come to be working with Sigrid anyway? And what does he actually do?

Vins wrote:
I don’t think you’ll get to know much more about Sigrid. What about Stephane? Perhaps there’s something useful about him you should know?

While you swing around your tree branch you ask Ilden about that “skeevy priest-boy” he mentioned earlier.

What’s the deal with him, anyway? Like, as far as you can tell he and Sigrid are the only people in town associated with the Mages Guild. Did he move into Kvatch the same time as her?

Naw, Ilden says, that boy has been around town for ages. Real ornery fellow, mostly spends his time away from other folks. At least folks who ain’t Sigrid. Ilden says that he doesn’t know much about him beyond that.

What about his relationship with Sigrid? Are they friends, or is he just some kind of second-in-command, or what?

Ilden admits he doesn’t know much about it. As far as he knows the boy’s just another admirer, ‘cept he has a Mages Guild membership of course.

A guild membership… which would mean he has a key to the Kvatch Mages Guild, right?

Probably, Ilden shrugs. Can’t imagine why he wouldn’t.

Do you know where I might be able to find him during the day? Anywhere that I could, like, possibly catch him when he’s alone?

Ilden says that he quite frankly doesn’t keep track of these things. Though he has to say, you’re starting to ask some mighty strange questions about this guy. Is there anywhere you’re goin’ with this?

You tell him you are just incredibly attracted to skeevy priests. Like, the skeevier they are the more irresistible you find them. You assure him this entire line of inquiry is purely sexual in nature.

So how do I kill people?

Ilden tells you that’s a question he can answer. You look to be getting a handle on the weapon, but if you want to do any serious damage you have to put your body into it more than you were. Your arm is just going to guide the club; the force is coming from the ground up.

He suggests that you loosen up your grip a little and try a swing at him. Those noodle arms aren’t going to do much on their own, so make up for it by shifting your weight forward on the swing – less arm, more torso.

You nod, and tell him you… think you can do that, yeah.

  • Expresate

    No comments? ….really? Does that mean? Can I? No, I shouldn’t… it’d be wrong! I… I MUST RESIST.

    • 65534

      Yes, you got first post. You can now pour hot grits down your pants, or do whatever other things first posters do where you come from.

      • Expresate

        Awesome, I love grits!

        • IRInsane

          XD I nearly pissed meself laughing.

        • ChasingWagons

          This guy got class.

      • Hot Grits

        Awesome, I love Expresate!

    • tech

      I must not “first”. First is the douche-meme. First is the little-troll that brings total banning. I will face the first and let it pas over me and through me. And when it has passed, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where first has gone, there will be a proper comment. I will post that instead.

      • Dent

        I have to recite the litany nearly every day.

      • Glass


        ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • Random internet guy

      You’re doing great so far.

      • Some Git

        First reply to Random Internet Guy.
        (I’m not even sorry. I should be, but I’m not. Sorry, not sorry.)

  • Deimos

    Thank god for RSS feeds.

    • Deimos

      Er, gods.

      • Gaiko

        All Nine if them, I hope.

        • Legends12

          well, now adays, it is apparently eight.

          • Talos

            Hey, screw you too buddy.

          • bibbi

            actually, talos is still a god at this point, traven is in office and kavatch stands, which puts this right before the events of TES4 oblivion. meaning the altmeri dominon has not started the great war. there are still nine gods at this point. sukit

          • Every True Nord Ever

            Is this imperial milkdrinker implying Talos ever stopped being a god?

          • bibbi

            this imperial milkdrinker is stating outright that Talos will not be recognized as a divine, not that he will no longer be one, one does not simply stop being a god.

          • Tech

            We don’t take kindly to Thalmor ’round these parts…

    • Random internet guy

      Thank GOD…

      …that I’m an atheist.

      • blerp

        Thank FSM!

      • Uzi_Man

        So, you’re an atheist.. Tell me, how does it feel to know that your life is empty, sad and meaningless?

        • Daniel

          What do you mean by meaning? This kind of generic questions normally have different levels, where the “ultimate” case is “the meaning of existence”. This, of course, can’t be answered because that would cover everything including any possible god.
          Sound like you expect some awesome reason for existing just because you believe that god made you. Would you accept some lame answer? Something like: god create us for entertainment.
          How exactly this provocation was suppose to work since the reason for existence is equally unachievable independent of the personal believe?

        • David

          Please don’t do that, it gives the rest of us a bad name.

          • Uzi_ManX

            Hey, he asked for it. l don’t go around everywhere saying that l believe in God, and what he said was off-topic in this website.

          • God

            …well… This is… Uncomfortable

          • creeperbro


          • Kas

            And here this comments section was actually looking like a classy place. You know, one without atheists that make that their only distinguishing feature, or awkward camaraderie between people who have decided to identify together for no discernible reason.

        • andwhyisit

          If you honestly believe that then you need some serious help.

        • Jet

          Now I might be mistaken but I’m fairly certain you just implied that trying to insult and otherwise attack someone else’s religion was somehow morally superior to stating your religion on the internet in a jesting matter.

        • G


      • tech

        ARGH, MY HEAD! *Splortch!*

      • congratulations random internet guy!!!!!!!!!1 you have winned the awards !!!!!! the awards for best joke ????? clap clap, you are the originil goke!!11 teller??! clap clap so well good joke congrat yes!!

        • Sharpie

          As I read that, I heard it in the voice of claptrap lol

        • Kas

          A+ comment, would read again.

  • nope

    gosh i love the animation on this

    • Alex


  • Vins

    Welp, not much to say, really. >_>
    Considering a training montage is on the way, guess the best to do is save my words for the next update, which I hope gonna happen next weekend and give a start to Prequel’s weekly update frequency.

    • David

      Can’t. resist. playing. Be a Man. much. Longeeeeerrrr!!!!!!

    • Hide-of-Scales

      If there’s a training montage, there better be music to go along with it. Rocky Balboa has shown that you can’t have a training montage without the proper music.

      Speaking of Rocky, I’m not suggesting Kaz play “Eye of the Tiger” or anything like that… but it would be kind of funny if that happened, especially given Katia’s feline heritage.

      • Kas

        Don’t get carried away now. We wouldn’t want to start any fires.

    • tech

      we’re gonna need a montage (Montage!)
      Ooh, it takes a montage! (montage!)

  • Jeizar

    Haha that answer was so weird (and so funny) that no one would imagine it could be a lie. 🙂

  • Gavinfoxx

    That was some awesome fightin’ training, Kaz!

  • NoriMori

    “You tell him you are just incredibly attracted to skeevy priests. Like, the skeevier they are the more irresistible you find them. You assure him this entire line of inquiry is purely sexual in nature.”

    *poker face*

    That was just too awesome for words.

  • DD

    I love these updates! It was so long in between with the fancier ones, but you still get so much happening with these flash panels. ^_^

  • Yinsho

    Yay! Formal training in a useful skill for her!
    Things may be looking up!
    Also concocting a nice little plan for thievery, Katia? C:<
    I like it!

  • Koravel

    Let the grueling yet epic newbie training montage begin!

    • Octane

      Will I?


      Not resisting blaring Eye of the Tiger.

      • Koravel

        DO IT

  • Shadowscale

    I reckon Katia will slowly reach basic levels of skill remeniscent of your base skills in oblivion and the series will end with her being put in prison. i personally think she will be in the emperor’s room for some reason and he half wakes up thus explaining why he dreams of the oblivion protagonist aka katia and recognises them. But that’s just m theory.

  • HazardousHarry

    I guess we should just put all of our effort into learning something that will come in handy for knocking out, I mean *ahem* defending ourselves. Maybe enquire into battlemages, see if he knows anything about how to use magic effectively in combat.

  • Hekaiyo

    I assure you all that this comment’s purpose is purely sexual.

    • Skeevy Priest

      Well, this is awkward.

  • Ikearat

    So she’s thinking about trying to kill the sidekick.
    Considering the trials so far, she’s a tough customer in the rebound department.

  • M

    Katia seems to have a budding plan about taking her stuff back from Sigrid here… Maybe pocketing a few of all those shinies too if she’s there?

    Risky! But I like her moxie. I WANT her to succeed at that, but with her luck… hard to call…

    Still she should consider getting something that’ll block that perfume then if she’s going in. Maybe that’d confuse Sigrid long enough for Katia to club her senseless during the confusion, in case she’d run into Sigrid again. She’d best be prepared for that anyway.

    That is IF Sigrid would use the perfume… And IF Katia’d get caught by her, and IF she’d get caught by Sigrid or Skeevy. Still as an Atronach with uncontrollable fire powers, she IS actually not to badly suited for fighting MAGIC. So there’s that in her favour. Maybe she can take Skeevy if she’d dare to try…

    But it could end really badly… On the other hand, I like her pushing back too! I like her not slinking away and I’d want it to work out. What kind of a message would it send to Katia if fighting back ended in abysmal failure? Let her get a big win for once I say!

    That is if the dancing competition doesn’t end up so embarrassing she sets half the town on fire… That would be a thing still…

  • Tormuse

    Katia blinked first. She loses the staring contest! 😛

  • Dagoth purr

    @ Katia- sneak attack mage, kill mage, loot mage

    Take key, go into mages guild, repeat steps 1, 2 and 3

  • Your Mother


  • Sokanas

    That whole update…. holy crap :p

    • Random internet guy

      Yeah I totally agree especially that fourth image. Just look at all the detail into it. Making that from scratch is not easy.

  • Daniel

    Things got weird pretty fast this time. I love it!

    Not related to the subject: Does Katia have sexual preferences? Until now it seemed she bang anything as long it a dick. (Unfortunately for Quill-Weave.)

    • Stankloid

      She hasn’t really shown to be attracted to anyone whatsoever except when she’s drunk, so who knows…

      • Niveon

        … why is this being talked about? D:

        • Daniel

          I just asked because she mentioned the matter.
          Just a curious thought: Does an imaginary person have fantasias?

          What exactly is bothering you? Is it the personal nature of the quest, the character been an imaginary creature or the idea that a woman can have a sexual preferences?

  • Galloglasses

    Seems Katia is getting a handle on the weapon usage, which is actually something she cant really lose in the future, being a skill, skill usage is invalueable, and she seems to finally be wising up: “People think I am a slut, they are getting wary when I am asking alot of questions about some guy, pretend to be a slut and deflect their inquiries. Victory”

  • someone with too much time

    “So how do I kill people?” one of my new favorite lines from prequel.

  • tech


  • Volchek

    She’s actually getting a handle on melee combat.
    Fun Fact: Robes aren’t too good at stopping weapons. 😀

    • CatFetishist

      l hope she’s good at handling my spear on melee..

      If you know what l mean.

  • unclechoo

    The animations in this update are top notch! 😀

  • Wisbi
    • Wisbi

      And my message failed to appear? :S

    • Wisbi

      Oh well- “Your Speechcraft skill has increased.” Woo!

      • Niveon

        Failed this speech check though.

        • Wisbi


  • Tayh

    Did Katia just perform her first Power Attack?

  • k9mouse

    May she should read a book called “Mace Etiquette” It talks about one handed blunt weapons like maces (and clubs)….

  • wolf

    So she wants to know where to find Steven alone, and how to kill people.
    Does she want to kill Steven?
    Of course, before she asked about that, she learned both that Steven would have a key to the Kvatch Mages Guild, and Sigrid has a way of dealing with thieves– quite possibly just by asking them to give her all of their things. Only after learning that did she ask how to kill people.
    So perhaps she plans to pickpocket Steven’s key, go to the Kvatch Mages Guild, steal her things back, and kill Sigrid.
    You’d better be careful with that plan– you could very well end up in prison. Sure, you will champion the people Sigrid has tricked, but you might end up imprisoned in a dungeon…

    • Suraru

      And then Oblivion happens!

      • tronn

        Nah, Sigrid has plot armor since she’s alive during Oblivion so she’s not gonna die. On the other hand there’s a theory floating around that the reason why the Champion of Cyrodiil, Gro-Upp, ends up in a dungeon is that he was seen killing some Khajit that tried to settle a score with him…

        • Orcrest

          As of right now, “plot armor” is my favourite expression ever. And now I want one.

    • Motherfucker

      Kat is doing what I would do, She’s going to club the weakest key-haver, steal his key and loot the fuck out of the mage’s guild of all that shiny. a sensible plan for a competent person but Katia’s biggest weakness is Katia so who knows.

  • Suraru

    Why do I keep thinking he is some kinda pervert, getting a high off of seeing Katia learn how to swing a large weapon?

    • Uzi_Man

      Hey, she IS hot, but nobody wants to admit it. Just go play the flash when she enters Kvatch and meets all the people, in some dialogues she smiles and jumps, just like her boobs.

      Kazerad just created one of the sexiest characters on the Internet, but he doesn’t seem to know it.

      • Daniel

        The idea that something is or is not sexy is a personal opinion, but it seems questionable that a big-eyes carton cat could be the sexiest characters on the Internet.
        By the way, Kazerad didn’t fail to notice this. Draw slut animal girl since to be a “think” for him. His is probable so perverted about this as you are.
        The reason that “nobody wants to admit” is that there are much more interesting aspects in the plot then the physical appearance of the protagonist.

        • Uzi_ManX

          l think she’s sexy because she has nice fan art.

  • Kittenlove

    Katia, here’s some advice on how to attack with a club or large blunt object. Then again, most weapons will work with this. Do NOT think of it as a WEAPON, but as an EXTENSION of yourself. It is part of you, a deadly part of you that will enable you to, maybe slowly, but surely rise to victory, wherever it might be- back alley, fighting guild, arena, battlefield. . . And I am SO proud of you. Yeah, you might have screwed up, but look. You’ve got armour! You’ve got an excuse for a weapon! AND A TRAINER! ((‘scuse me, i think i’m gonna go cry of proudness)) But still, don’t look at the bad side of things- because the only thing that’s gonna get you down is yourself.

    • Gavinfoxx

      If you want this to count, post it in the commands thread!

  • deadrose

    you should follow up by keeping your momentum going by turning your body left or right and swing the club horizontally ( make sure you step it to it )

  • Peterdivine

    “Your Blunt skill increased.”

  • SuperGnome

    Hey, at least your making an effort to learn. Don’t ever stop doing so. The more you try, the better you get.

  • Volchek

    I just realized… he’s pretty solid for how old he looks.

  • TheBurningFox

    And then the Club turns into dust.

  • Reptoslayer of Remnants Enclave

    Dont stop now your doing great for a CATastrophe prone khajiit

  • Vulqostrun

    Just love how the pictures with Katia swinging the “club” toward the viewer and then at Ilden for a practice swing actually move a few pixels, to show the force/impact. Nice little detail.

  • tronn

    I know I’m just repeating what others have already said, but I really love the animation in this one, especially the fourth panel. It’s the attention to small details that really makes it superb!

  • Norkkom

    Oh man these expressions. Love the art man :3

  • TheUnbrokenKhajit

    Yay update! And I finally found put how to get a profile pic

  • Zer0DusT

    i would have said something more along the lines of, i forgot something and can’t wait for the night to fall to retrieve it

    but its good to see katia getting a little more cynical, shows that she’s learning

    but onto bigger fish, is she going to be the reason that kavatch guard gets trapped inside the oblivion tower?

  • Morgan

    Ask for a real blade now, or a magic power-up

    • Spatzist

      I don’t think this guy does magic, and Katia is still new enough at this that giving her a sword would likely be nothing short of disastrous.

  • Nall

    Okay, I know this is going out of context of the main questions… but, why does the old man never blink? Did he lose both his eyes in a war or something? I suppose it would explain why he was throwing bread crumbs to imaginary birds… but still… It’s really intimidating… even for a cartoon!

    • Nall

      Also, she seems to be getting the hang of that branch really quickly. I mean she hit the old man’s shield so hard that it made the last panel shake, and in the first panel he was holding her back with just a finger.
      I think she might be hiding a secret… she’s probably a Super Saiien Kitty from the planet “Kajita”.

  • Novago

    kill people? katia?

    • Uzi_ManX

      Killing people and seeing dead, mutilated corpses is completely normal in the Elder Scrolls Universe.

  • Sam

    You should probably stop with the questions to keep your ‘teacher’ from getting the wrong idea.

  • Orc-Thief

    You call that a swing? My granny can swing harder than that and she’s dead! Get yourself a small weapon and a shield. At least then you’d be able to defend yourself after you fail to do any damage.

  • kurry

    Ah! Katia, how I love thee <3
    I love both hers and Ilden's expressions, and you can tell she's getting a feel for that branch, yes.
    I think it’s so intruiging to think back and realize how we’re still at the beginning of Katia’s adventure; she can still sort-of scrap her mage training and decide to go down the warrior path. It’s all in her hands, IT GIVES ME FEELS.

  • Ahaha, “Sex. Sex sex sex.” -awkward silence-
    … “Killing?”

    • Tech


  • Glamador

    Well, this seems to be progressing well. How strange, knowing this comic’s history.

    Glamador is waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  • Professor F. Aggot

    Is it just me or does the RSS feed not have this update yet? My reader isn’t picking this update up (I only just got it a few days ago, thought it was gonna be much easier than zombie-ing out in front of my computer hitting F5 every 10 mins…)
    How do you get the RSS to show updates immediately?

    • Uzi_ManX

      l have no idea what RSS is, but you should try Google Chrome. Maybe it will solve your problem.

  • Blu Spy disguised as Katia

    I really like this story but there are just these 3 short situations in the entire story that just won’t stop making me laugh.
    “You fucked up.” “ROBES” and “DRUGS” those were quite memorable.

  • Self-Respect

    Um, m-maybe you should t-try to find Mr. Skeevy Priest, and s-steal his k-key.

  • Zeldanigma

    What you need is a sharper weapon. Try using those nails for a change.

  • mcn

    i think the circular swing of the club in the third panel is actually really well done. i wonder how long it took to do that.

  • Husk

    ~the wheels on the bark go round and round, round and round, round and round! the wheels on the bark go round and round, all the do-dah-daaaay!~

    I feel so young. XD

  • Why the hell do you need my name?

    You guys are going to hate me but… I’m half hoping Stephane and Katia become friends (or acquaintances at least).
    I know, It’s weird, but I think Kat could really use another friend or maybe even two.
    I don’t know… Maybe I’m just weird.

  • Dragon

    *awkward silence*
    “…So, how do I kill people?”