Mikhail Quest (non-canon joke update)

Bibliophael wrote:

Tamriel’s poison apples are incredibly deadly. Within seconds of consuming the smallest amount, you are dead. I find it unlikely, then, that Sotil has either successfully immunized himself or eaten a bite of the wrong apple. I could be wrong, of course.

Mikhail wrote:

Sounds about right … considering how acquainted I am with those damned apples. I keep pressing Ctrl + Click which makes me eat them myself instead of Shift + Click to drop them. I was always curious what they thought to find a dead guy in their dining room.

You are now Mikhail’s Oblivion character.

You are performing an assassination, and this requires you to place a poisoned apple on this table. All you have to do is put the apple down without eating it. For any normal person this would be a trivial task. But you, you are an adventurer. Everything is a federal fucking issue for you.

Anyway, this apple. You just have to move your arm toward the table and-

Whoops!

Where did it go? Haha.

Yeah, you fucked up.

You can no longer be Mikhail’s Oblivion character because Mikhail’s Oblivion character’s insides have been liquefied.